Diamonds Are Forever (28 page)

Lucas shrugged.  “She’s still a little insecure.  A lot, really.  She lets her clique of friends decide when they want to be nice to her or not.  So when they’re being mean, she looks for comfort in this…
guy
who just isn’t right for her, and not just because he’s about ten, eleven years older.”

“Oh… God,” Gemma frowned, her heart twisting as she thought about the little, eighth grade Elisa who used to skip around the house and bake her cookies.  “That doesn’t sound like her at all.”  She paused.  “I mean it does and it doesn’t,” she corrected herself.  The part about Elisa’s insecurity seemed about right.  She’d always been quiet and prone to even her own friends’ ridicule.

“Yeah.  It’s weird how a person can change so much over the years but some parts just stay exactly the same.”  Lucas paused, looking at Gemma with intent.  “Frustratingly the same.”

She frowned.  “Are you trying to say something?”

He gave a little laugh, tugging on his beard.   “We’ve all changed a lot over the years, Gemma.  You especially.  From what Elisa’s told me, you’ve been through some… incredibly unique challenges in the past few years.  And you’ve gotten past every one of them.  You’re definitely mature beyond your years.”

“But? Something has stayed frustratingly the same? What is it?” Gemma asked, unable to suppress her aggressive curiosity.

Lucas simply looked at her, in no rush to get to the point.  Gemma tried not to groan.  “When I was in over in Thailand I saw a billboard of you and Damian.  Some perfume ad, I think.  For Marc something.”

“Thierry Marc.  And?”

Lucas chuckled at Gemma’s impatience.  “It was… crazy.  You guys looked so different from when I last saw you.  I mean both of you were celebrities at that point, which was definitely something to process.  And you just looked older.  And you were obviously in much different points of your careers than I’d last seen either of you in.  It was such a change.”

“Where is this going, Lucas?” Gemma asked hastily, reaching her limit of his anecdotes.  “You can just be blunt with it if you want.”

There was a laugh in his hazel eyes.  “You’ve both been through more individual change than anyone else I know.  But it kind of seems like your relationship has stayed completely the same over the years.”

Gemma stared.  “
What?
”

“Remember when you and I clearly liked each other in high school? But I was still with Madison and then after awhile, you started seeing Damian?”

“Yes,” Gemma replied, narrowing her eyes as she wondered where he was going.

“I went a lot of those years in high school thinking he was blind to it, but now I know that it couldn’t have been the case.  Damian knew that you liked me, didn’t he? Even when you two were dating?” Lucas asked.  Gemma bit her lip, thinking back on her high school relationship with Damian.

“Yes.”

“And you don’t think that’s crazy?” Lucas leaned forward onto his knees, genuine curiosity in his voice.  “That he somehow managed to stay in a relationship with you when he knew there was a possibility that your feelings for him weren’t totally reciprocated?”

“I liked him,” Gemma said, feeling defensive.  “I
loved
him, actually.”

“But in what way? You depended on him, yeah, but did you love him the way he loved you?”

“What do you mean by that?” Gemma asked with a deep frown.  “And why do you think it’s okay to ask me things like this when we haven’t spoken in years?”

“Because I’m just trying to help,” Lucas said calmly.  “And I don’t know, maybe I feel partially responsible for this situation.”

“My breakup? No, Lucas,” Gemma couldn’t help but scoff.  “This isn’t high school anymore.”

“And yet you’re still taking Damian for granted.”

Gemma felt fire in her eyes as she shot daggers.  Before she could get up and excuse herself from her own room just to be away from Lucas, he clarified.

“It wasn’t just you.  I was at fault back then too.  I took for granted the fact that Damian was a big enough person then to overlook what an idiot I was, how I didn’t realize how inappropriate I acted with you because I didn’t understand yet what my feelings for you even were.  I’m actually still surprised he never kicked my ass,” Lucas gave a little laugh.  “Because he had the muscle and he had every right.  But he’s always been just… an insanely good guy.  And a good friend.  You kept in touch with him longer than I did, so I’m sure you would agree.”

Gemma could still feel the flames in her eyes but she felt compelled to answer.  “Of course.”  Damian was better to her than she suspected she deserved.  While Lucas stopped after their high school fiasco, Gemma had gone on to put Damian through every last one of her life dramas.  He hadn’t been spared from a single one, be it regarding her relationships or her career.  “He’s seen me through a lot,” Gemma mumbled, mostly to herself.  Through her peripheral vision, she could see Lucas nodding.

“Yeah.”  Though gentle, there was a stern air in his voice.  “And what have you seen him through?”

~

Gemma had stared at her old bedroom ceiling, sleepless as she pondered over Lucas’s words. 
I don’t remember him being such a nosy asshole,
Gemma laughed to herself, pulling her covers over her head.  In the warmth of the comforter, she began to doze off.  But every time she was at the verge of actually falling asleep, she would jump at a sudden sound or an image or a smell that she couldn’t quite determine to be real or not.

But in her exhaustion, she had finally given in and slipped into her sub-consciousness, finding herself in a strange dream-like state.  Though Gemma knew she was dreaming, she couldn’t quite shake the very vivid sensations she was experiencing.  All the sounds and smells she had just gotten quick tastes of before were suddenly surrounding her.  It was dark, but she could feel herself being carried.  She knew whose arms she was in as she wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself.

“We made it,” his familiar voice said.  Gemma turned her head, seeing the fuzzy image of Damian smiling down at her. 
Where are we?
she wondered, trying to focus her eyes.  She felt cold and she knew Damian did too.  She realized he wasn’t wearing his black cargo jacket because she was wrapped in it.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“Late,” he replied, kissing her gently on the lips as he fumbled with his keys, refusing to set her on her feet.  Gemma looked over his shoulder.  They were in Brooklyn, on his street.

When Damian finally opened the door, he carried her through the threshold and up the stairs towards his bedroom.  He was moving slowly.  She could see that he was tired, though he looked happy.  He caught her staring.

“What?” he asked, a faint smile on his lips.

“How’d we get home?”

“We got on a plane,” he laughed.  “And then we got in a cab.”  Damian set her down on top of his bed, crawling onto it beside her.  She watched as he tried to turn the sheets down for them.  He struggled though, and Gemma laughed wondering if he was tired or still drunk.  She sure as hell was still drunk.  He gave up on his tightly tucked sheets and collapsed beside her, stretching his body out across the length of the bed.

“And we’re finally in a bed now,” she said, pressing her lips to his.  Gemma propped herself up on her elbows, planting kisses on his cheeks and his lower lip as she watched him smile.

“We’re
on
a bed,” he whispered, his voice sounding sleepy as his eyes fluttered shut.  Damian wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her body down into his.  She could feel his breath on her temple as she snuggled in close to him.  “I love you.”  Gemma looked up to see the words still hanging on his beautiful lips.  She kissed them, prompting another smile.  She giggled, smoothing her hand over his chest.

“I love you too,” she whispered back.  But his breath was already steady, his chest rising and falling peacefully under her touch.  She kissed him again before falling asleep beside him.

Absently holding a single leather boot, Gemma watched as Zoe and Leah zipped around Saks Fifth Avenue’s shoe salon.  She’d been meaning to ask the a question for awhile now but she couldn’t seem to phrase it right in her head.  Finally, she gave up on the eloquence.

“Hey, have you guys like, ever had, I don’t know – like a flashback? To things you thought weren’t in your memory but then suddenly they were?” Gemma asked just as Zoe and Leah found respective heels to ogle.  She realized it probably wasn’t the best time to ask the girls important questions, not when they were clearly over-stimulated by their surroundings.

“What do you mean, flashbacks?” Leah said, kicking off her shoes as she grabbed a pair of spiky Louboutins off the display.  “Are we talking like war vet PTSD sort of thing?”

“No, it’s not traumatic,” Gemma explained.  “More like, you know how sometimes a memory pops up that you didn’t realize you had? Like, you sort of just go, ‘oh, guess that happened and I didn’t remember until just now.’”

Zoe narrowed her eyes at Gemma.  “I’ve had a couple of those when I’ve gotten blackout drunk?”

“Yes, like that!” Gemma said, before she could catch herself.  Zoe and Leah exchanged quick glances before looking back at her.

“You trying to tell me something, Hunter?” Zoe asked, cocking a hip.  She peered at Leah.  “You know, maybe something about a night that you may have gotten blackout drunk? Recently? Publically?”

Leah gasped at Zoe’s implication.  She turned back to Gemma slowly, as if she wanted to keep from startling her and perhaps scaring her off.  Gemma pushed her hair behind her ears, averting her eyes.

The vast, white space of the shoe salon was peppered with its incredible collection of designer footwear as well as the dozens of women who were probably there to buy themselves a Christmas present or two.  Over the speakers, Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” played to the festive atmosphere.  As much as Gemma needed an answer to her question, she had chosen to blurt it out in a place where her girlfriends wouldn’t be able to pry for too much, especially if she had placed too much weight in what she had seen.

“What is it that you remember?” Leah asked, still staring at her.  “Is it about marrying Damian?” Zoe turned to Leah, raising a judgmental eyebrow for her lack of filter.

“It doesn’t matter what the memory was, I just wanted to know if that happens to you guys?” Gemma continued.  “And if it does, how accurate are these memories?”

“Unfortunately, in my case,” Zoe started.  “Those blackout flashbacks are pretty accurate.  And literally every single one makes me cringe.”  She heaved a sigh, her shoulders slumping as she thought about it.  “Ugh.  And they always come back to me at the worst times.  Like when I’m in the middle of a meeting or a sentence and suddenly it’s just like, ‘
oof
’ – embarrassing memory time.”

“Okay,” Gemma nodded at her friends’ stories.  “Good to know.”  She decidedly turned her attention to the boot again as her friends stared at her.

“Um, excuse you.  You’re not off the hook, missy,” Leah said.

“Yeah, Leah asked a question, girl.  Do you remember something? About…. that night?”

Gemma shook her head at herself.  “Yeah, but it doesn’t even matter.”

“What do you
mean
it doesn’t even matter? You’ve only been complaining about how little of it you remember since you came back.  It matters plenty that you suddenly remember something, so spill,” Zoe said.  “Back me up, Leah.”

“Talk, Gemma.  I’ll buy you shoes.  Maybe.”

“It wasn’t anything significant,” Gemma sighed.  “Or anything that tells me much more than I already know.  I had originally just woke up at his place in Brooklyn with absolutely nothing in my collective memory of anything past the point of getting in the cab.  But, um.”  She swallowed, setting the boot down onto the table.  “A couple days ago, when I was falling asleep, I just sort of had this memory of him carrying me from our cab out of the airport to his bed.  But that’s it.”

Zoe and Leah stood still, blinking at her when she stopped talking.  “That’s it?” Leah said.  “That was boring.”

“I
told
you it was nothing worth talking about,” Gemma laughed.  “Just a dream about an ex.”

As mundane as the memory was, the vivid flashback served as exactly what she needed after her tough conversation with Lucas.  She missed Damian terribly and she desperately wanted to be in his strong arms again, burying her face in his chest.  But since that wasn’t an option, the flashback would have to do.

“Right.  Um, Gem, speaking of your exes though, isn’t that Corey over there?” Leah asked, pointing to a tall, blonde man striding across the floor.  Gemma knew before she saw him that it was Corey – mostly because of the collective hush that fell across the room as every woman’s attention was finally pulled from her shoes.

“Gemma!” he called out.  His smile was wide as he waved, looking as if he had just stepped out of a limo to greet his public.

“Oh my God, that’s him?” Zoe snorted.  “Oh God, girl, that is… not your type at all.”

“Seems like he’s everyone else’s type though,” Leah said, nodding at the women who had stopped just to watch him cross the room.  “Too bad he’s made of cheese.”

Gemma cleared her throat, hoping to drown out her friends’ words as Corey approached.  “Hey!” she greeted him brightly.  “How have you been?” she asked, reaching up to give Corey the hug that his open arms asked for.  “And how’s your mom? I haven’t seen her since my show.”

“She’s good! I’m actually here to pick up a pair of shoes for her that they held here for me.  Christmas shopping,” he shrugged.

“Corey, you remember Leah,” Gemma said, pointing back at her.

“Oh, right, hi!” he said, shaking her hand.

“And this is Zoe Mercury.”  She stepped aside so Zoe could shake Corey’s hand.

“
Leadoff
, right? I love your show.  Last episode completely shocked me,” he said.  Eyes narrowed, Zoe nodded her head in thanks, seeming to like Corey despite her initial assessment.

Gemma laughed at Zoe.  She also laughed at the shoppers in the salon who were clearly bowled over by Mr. Perfect but too proud to be obvious about it.  It wasn’t long before the women had returned to perusing the shoes, allowing themselves the occasional peek at Corey between stilettos.