Diamonds Are Forever (37 page)

“Oh God, I’m so glad to see you,” she exhaled, sinking down onto a step.  Gemma sat beside her.

“What’s going on? When did you last hear from him?”

“I saw him at a game, right before All Star Weekend,” Aubrey answered.  “We didn’t talk for very long.  He didn’t seem to want to, which is odd.  He used to stay with me sometimes when he played in L.A.  Not like that, though.”  She shook her head, eyes wide as she looked at Gemma.

“No, I know,” Gemma brushed it off.  “Do you have his new number or anything? I’ve been trying to call him…”

“No,” Aubrey replied.  “I’ve just been sitting here every night, hoping I’ll catch him coming back for a second.  But I’ve done this the past five days and nothing.  I have a job booked in Bermuda later this week so I can’t do this much longer.”

“Where could he
possibly
be?” Gemma wondered, aloud.  “You can’t be as famous as he is and not get spotted
somewhere
, right? How has no one seen him?”

“I’ve talked to Josh, his old teammate on the Warriors,” Aubrey said.  “I thought maybe Damian went to go see him because they were close.  But he hasn’t heard from him either.  So naturally, we’re all just getting worried.”  Her voice shook, and before she could stop herself, she was crying.  “This is so unlike him.”

“I know,” Gemma said, trying to stay calm for Aubrey’s sake.  She had done her fair share of crying lately.  She knew it was her turn to provide some support.  Gemma hugged Aubrey, letting her lean on her shoulders as she cried.  “I want to help,” Gemma continued.  “I just don’t know how.  I can’t help but think this might be my fault.”

“Why would it be?”

“Because Azura said he needed some time away from me to get himself together,” Gemma swallowed hard.  “But then I ran into him.  And we spent the night together.”

“Oh,” Aubrey nodded, picking her head up off of Gemma’s shoulder.

“So?” Gemma said, feeling herself tear up.  She wiped her eyes.  “You two are close.  You can tell me.  Am I right to think this is my fault?”

“It’s not your fault,” Aubrey shook her head.  “You’re not responsible for someone else’s sanity.”

“I tend to be responsible for people’s insanity, actually,” Gemma laughed through her own tears, despite the reality of her words.

“I just realized,” Aubrey started.  “I haven’t seen you since the first time we met.  When I helped you make your big escape.  From The Vicente Oak.”

“Yeah,” Gemma replied, recalling that night, right before her big jump in Croatia.  She thought about it often, but the people involved in that night were a blur.  Except Damian.

“I feel like we’ve kept in touch this whole time, but we haven’t.  It was just that you were all Damian ever talked about,” Aubrey said, pursing her lips and looking away.  “And I thought that you were never going to feel the same way about him that he did about you.  I actually introduced Azura to him thinking they’d maybe become something.  And she ended up being another ear for his lovesickness.”

“I didn’t know he felt this way,” Gemma whispered. 
How had he managed to function at all after all these years?
She herself had gone certifiably insane in the brief time that she had realized she was in love with him.  How had Damian, with a career as stressful as her own, quietly just
handle
those feelings all these years? Gemma touched her throat as she swallowed with realization. 
Because that was the job you essentially gave him.  To be your rock.  Always. 
He had carried his own burdens as well as hers since high school.  He was her rock but of course he was, at some point, bound to crack.

“I never asked him why we were helping you run away that day,” Aubrey said.  “I thought for a second during the car ride home that I could’ve totally just aided the escape of a fugitive.”  She smirked.  “Which I know was probably not the case, but can I get some clarification now?”

“I just needed some time alone,” Gemma answered with a little shrug.  “And to get rid of all this built up adrenaline inside of me from suppressing these feelings I felt like I shouldn’t have had.”

“And you felt better afterwards?”

“Anything I felt would have been better than what I was feeling when I ran off,” Gemma said.  “So yes, I felt better.  But more importantly, I felt ready to deal with all the issues I left behind.  I just needed a moment.”

“Do you think that’s maybe what Damian is doing now?”

“Maybe,” Gemma answered.  “I just have to figure out what his cliff is.”

~

Gemma wondered what it was like for people who dated in the quiet of not being known.  What was it like to fall in love with someone whose face was never in newspapers, on billboards, on television? What was it like to go into public and be guaranteed you wouldn’t hear that person’s name on a stranger’s lips? She suspected it was something like that short time she dated Lucas.  Of course, she had liked him for longer than they were actually together and in the days he was nothing more than someone else’s boyfriend, it was difficult to see him as such.  But it was hardly a challenge in comparison to Tyler and Damian.  To some degree, not seeing Lucas was a possibility.  If it got bad enough, all she had to do was leave Beauford and she’d be fine.

And she thought it couldn’t get worse than dating and breaking up with Tyler Chase.  He was easily the most popular musical artist, an internationally famed pop star, and now he had made the transition to sought after, Oscar-nominated actor.  If she had braved her way through a relationship and breakup with Tyler Chase, how hard would anything that followed be? Corey was easy aside from the occasional paparazzi.  People knew his name and recognized his face, but the general public rarely put them together.  All she really had to deal with was the envious glares of the women around them as they walked down Manhattan streets.

She had met Damian when she herself was rising in fame and he was some kid in high school who happened to be good at basketball.  And though he was popular and well liked, he wasn’t sought after the way Gavin or Lucas had been.  Gemma had been somewhat responsible for his popularity among women when they did that Rookies vs. Veterans magazine shoot together, and then the one for Thierry Marc.  But his own game, his rapport with his teammates – that was what truly made him.  That was how he became a household name.  And to Gemma’s surprise, that’s how his fame had surpassed them all.

She learned quickly in her home city of New York what it meant to be a star athlete.  Everyone related to Damian in a way that they could have never related to Gemma as Queen Bee or Tyler as a singer or actor.  Basketball was something constant.  Fans could follow Damian in the way that she herself had been – leaving his schedule up on her phone and knowing what city he was in on what night.  They connected with him differently, because they got to watch him live several times a week.  While her own career involved theatrics that took dozens of hours to prepare before being released to the public, Damian’s job called for on-the-spot heroics.  He was expected to perform every other night not every other month.  And unlike Gemma and Tyler had, Damian had fans that ranged from screaming teenaged girls to cursing, burly frat boys.  They ranged from children to the elderly.  There were that many more people to please. 
Everyone
loved basketball, sports.  Gemma couldn’t walk two blocks without hearing his name in conversation or noticing his jersey on some stranger or seeing a Knicks poster hanging in the window of some restaurant or bodega.

And now, all of those people were collectively disappointed in him.  It wasn’t just a fanbase it was all of
New York.
  Gemma could almost feel a shift in the city for being let down in such a way.  She couldn’t help but feel partially at fault.

But in her studio behind the boutique she had yet to open, she felt safe and enclosed.  There were no windows, just that skylight that illuminated the space in a way that made her feel warm and protected.  Her Fashion Week collection stood like an army before her, reminding her of how silly she had been for putting such emotional stock in that day and how it had spilled over into those hurtful words she couldn’t keep from Damian.

With the buzz about her work with Burke Faust, the fashion world had just about forgiven, or just forgotten, her mishap in Las Vegas.  It had felt like such a big deal at the time, like something she could never climb out of.  But now the same publications that had doubted how serious she was as a designer were suddenly the same ones looking forward to her store opening.  It was just two days away and all the work was set and done.  There was nothing to do but relax and wait for the day.  She and Armand and their collective teams had worked overtime to have it ready despite the fact that she had been away in Hawaii for a month.  And both Mira and Hudson had dug into their magical little black book to create an impressive guest list of tastemakers and trendsetters.  It was going to be everything she had ever wanted and dreamed about for the last three years, finally materialized.

And yet, her heart couldn’t get behind her head.  It continued to beat in that same despondent pace it had since her drive home from the shore house on New Year’s Day.

Her phone vibrated.  The buzzing sound echoed throughout the tidied studio. 
Tyler.
  She answered.

“What are you doing?” he asked, immediately.

“I was just at my studio, doing some last minute work for the opening,” she lied.  She didn’t want to say she was just sitting around, trying to jumpstart her emotions.

“Will you be free in an hour? And for the rest of the day?” His voice was hurried, excited.  It was almost contagious.

“Um, what is this about?” she asked.

“Azura will explain to you.”

“Azura’s in town?”

“Just for the day.  She’ll be at your boutique within the hour, be ready.  Wear something warm.”

~

“Didn’t think I’d see you for awhile,” Azura said when Gemma slid into the backseat of her towncar.

“What are you doing back in the states?”

“It’s Eugene’s birthday,” Azura said, wrinkling her nose as she smiled.  “I wanted to see him.  But I’m making him meet me halfway.  He’ll be here tomorrow.”

“I’m really happy to see you.”

“Really?” she asked.  “I don’t remind you of Damian?”

“I have enough reminders of Damian from living in this damn city.  You’re just you and I’m glad for that.”

“Are you saying we’re friends?” Azura said, puckering her lips and poking at Gemma’s shoulders as she drew out the last word.

“Shouldn’t that be assumed?”

“I try not to assume too much,” Azura shrugged.  “Especially with how we left off.  I felt like you were mad at me and thinkin’ back, I should have kept my mouth shut about how you handle Damian.  Wasn’t my place at all.  I really thought I knew what I was saying at that moment.”

“Actually,” Gemma started.  “I think you
were
right.  I made a mistake.  I ran into him, accidentally, and I know that sounds weird but that’s what happened.”

“When?”

“New Year’s Eve.  I drove down to the shore house that we went to when we were in high school and he was there.”

“What? Seriously?” Azura’s hands flew to her mouth.  “Oh my God that’s so romantic I swear I’m going to die.”

“It could have been,” Gemma said.  “He was the closest thing to himself that I’ve seen in awhile.  We slept together.  Finally.”

“Oh my God,” Azura gasped and shook her head.  “I’m actually gonna die.”

“No, but think about it,” Gemma laughed, bitterly.  “You said to respect his need for distance.  I didn’t.  And now he’s just gone? Did he ever seem like the type of guy to just leave behind a team and city that’s depending on him? Don’t you feel like this isn’t a coincidence? Don’t you think that this means you’re right?”

“I can’t say, Gem,” Azura shrugged.  “I’m not in his head right now.  I don’t know.”

“Do you know, or at least do you think, that wherever he is he’s okay?” Gemma asked.  She hated feeling so disconnected from Damian that she couldn’t even answer that question.

“Depends on what you mean by okay,” Azura shrugged.  “If you think he’s become some crazy junkie mess, I don’t think he has it in him.  If you think he’s sitting alone all sad somewhere, well.  That sounds possible.”

“I can’t imagine, either,” Gemma said, looking out the car window as they exited onto the highway.  “He’s always been the strong one.  For every single one of us.  What are we supposed to do when he’s not?”

“Be the strong one for him,” Azura replied, without missing a beat.  Gemma turned back to look at her, surprised.  “I said it last time too.  It’s not an easy job.  I know, because I’ve never even
tried,
I just don’t have it in me.  But I think you have it in you.  To be the strong one, for once.  I don’t know what it means, but I think that’s what needs to happen.  Right?”

“I guess,” Gemma shrugged.

“Do you know where the hell we’re going?” Azura asked, looking out the window.  Gemma sat up straight.

“Wait, what?” She looked at Azura’s confused face.  “Tyler told me you’d fill me in on what’s happening.”

“He told
me
that
you’d
be filling me in on what’s happening,” she replied.  “He made it sound like some emergency.  I actually moved things around to fly back earlier for him.”  Azura’s confusion and momentary anger quickly melted to a big smile.  “Good thing I like surprises.”

After a couple or hours in the car, Gemma realized the highway signs were pointing them towards Vermont.  For a good half hour, she was too busy admiring the long stretches of snow-covered trees to realize what was happening.  But when it dawned on her, it dawned on her quickly.

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed, waking Azura from her sleep.

“What?” Azura snapped awake.  “Did we crash? Are we okay?”

“We’re okay,” Gemma laughed.  “I know what this is about.”

~

But when their car pulled up to a small, isolated cabin, Gemma was no longer sure her theory was right.  There were many, identical town cars parked outside, almost taking up more space than the small cabin did.  Other equally confused people stepped out, dressed in attire so varied that there was no way to guess where they were heading.  An usher opened their car door and beckoned them to follow.