Diamonds Are Forever (34 page)

“Yes,” he shrugged.  “What are you, five foot six or so? My girlfriends have all been around that height.”

“Yeah, around that,” she said.  As she finished measuring Callum, she realized he was the same height as Damian, with about the same build that Damian was back in high school.  She thought about how when she hugged Damian, she could put her ear to his chest and listen to his heartbeat.  Callum was right.  It was exactly the perfect matchup in height.

“You wouldn’t happen to be single, would you?” Callum asked.  Gemma burst out in laughter.

“Wow,” she said, simply.

“I’m terrible at this sort of thing,” he said with an apologetic smile.  “This isn’t even the worst I’ve done.  You should consider yourself lucky that I gave you a good laugh instead of making you just cringe and feel so bad for me that you just excuse yourself from the room.”

“Has that happened before?”

“Yes,” Callum nodded.  “But I’ve grown used to it and this is just how my relationships start.  As a total mess.  It’s great, actually.  Gets all the awkwardness out of the way and it’s usually good from there.”

“And yet,” Gemma teased.  “You’re clearly single now.”

“Yes, but that’s because I’m a terrible cook,” Callum explained with an exaggerated seriousness.  Gemma laughed.  “And there’s an easy solution to that.  We just order takeaway every night.  It’s romantic, I promise.  Eating out of Styrofoam boxes by candlelight.”

“I believe you,” Gemma replied, flatly.  She figured she was probably supposed to be somewhat charmed by Callum’s looks if not his terrible game, but she didn’t feel very much.  She took down his measurements, waving him on his way.  “Well, you’re all set Callum.  I’ll see you in Maui.”

As she said goodbye to Callum, Gemma realized that Tyler had been sitting within earshot, waiting his turn.  He looked over to find him smirking in amusement as he approached her.

“Day one and you’re already turning heads?” Tyler said, hugging Gemma hello.  “That’s the Gemma Hunter I’ve always known.”

“Hey, Tyler,” Gemma said with a smile.  She was strangely comforted at the sight of him.

“Should I have punched him in the face for old time’s sake?” he joked.  “You know, just to keep in theme with the last time the two of us were on a movie set together.”

“Well, this isn’t the actual
set
, yet,” Gemma replied.  “And unlike last time, I’m not a visitor.  I’m actually working.”

“You
could
have been working the last one,” Tyler reminded her.

“Let’s not get into that again,” she laughed, shaking her head.

“Are you excited?” Tyler asked her.  “I saw some of your sketches and I was really impressed.  I admit, when I first read the script and realized that the whole thing was supposed to take place either by the water or underwater, I kind of just imagined us in wetsuits for the whole thing.  But then I remembered it was a Burke Faust production and that’s too obvious an answer.”

Gemma laughed.  “I
am
excited.  It’s kind of nice to be working in an environment where I can immerse myself in an imaginary world.  Sort of get away from reality for awhile.”  She bit down on her lip, realizing her words said a little more about her than she was comfortable sharing.

“I know what you mean,” Tyler said, his voice suddenly solemn.  Gemma looked up at him as she wound up her measuring tape.

“Everything okay?” she asked, catching his expression.

“Oh, yeah,” Tyler said shaking his head.  “You know, it’s just…” He trailed off again, pressing his lips together.

“You can talk to me,” Gemma lowered her voice, glancing over quickly at her assistants who were chatting once again as they cleaned up.

“It’s… not appropriate,” Tyler replied, shifting his weight.  “The subject manner.  It’s not something we should be discussing, I don’t think.”

“Well, is it something you can talk about with anyone else?” she asked.  “Like Sophie?”

“I
definitely
don’t think I should be talking about this with Sophie.”

Gemma nodded, letting her curiosity get to her.  She wondered what was bothering Tyler enough that he was willing to admit it on the spot, the moment someone caught sight of it.  She had been in a similar mode these days, thankful that no one actually
asked
her what was wrong.  She wasn’t sure she could stop listing everything if she started.

“What are you doing after this?” Gemma asked, letting herself blurt the question that she had been trying to hold in for the past few moments.  “Maybe we should get dinner somewhere.

OKAY, SPOKE TOO SOON

The Post-Up

February 11
^th

So I came to Evans’ defense before I should have and I’m here to make amends and eat a little crow.  He hasn’t slipped completely, which is nice and helps ease my ego out of the soreness its felt since taking a bruising – but that doesn’t mean things aren’t looking really bad.

Earlier today, among the recent reports of Evans showing up late for not just practice, but now
games
, the league announced that Evans would be replaced for All Star Weekend.  Evans cited “personal reasons” for missing the much-anticipated event but provided no further explanation.

Which… sucks.  I’ll admit, I kind of pegged this guy as our savior.  And you know what, I know I wasn’t the only one.  New York breathed hope again – at least for a second.

Now we’re back to square one, which is a place that Knicks fans are all too familiar with.  To non-sports fans: don’t mind if we riot sometime soon.  We’re long past due for a tantrum.

Only as she sat in Tyler’s passenger seat did Gemma realize that she hadn’t seen very much of Los Angeles with him while they were living together.  She could count the number of times they had a chance to go out to dinner on one hand.  They never went to the beach or took many walks either – it was hard to, considering how much of a mess the paparazzi made while following them.

They had been in the car for close to an hour now, partly because they couldn’t decide on where to go for dinner but mostly because of traffic.  Tyler didn’t seem to notice as he spouted all that was on his mind.

Wedding doubts, apparently.

He was getting cold feet, he said, and he suspected Sophie might be on the same page.  But that would be a disaster.  In order to accommodate their absolutely massive guest list, they had a massive wedding planned at one of L.A’s most elite country clubs.  A no-show would be catastrophic for a bevy of reasons.

“Jesus, I probably sound like a girl for saying this,” Tyler said, a sheepish smile on his face.  “But I’ve been looking forward to the day I got married since I was a kid.”  Gemma laughed.  She wasn’t exactly surprised.  Tyler had always been a hopeless romantic.  “So, naturally, I feel like something’s wrong that I’m
really
not looking forward to it.  Every time we have to start doing some sort of planning, I feel myself tense up.  All I want is for it to be over already and I haven’t even gotten to it yet.  And when I think about the actual day, I’m not excited.  It just feels like a big interview I know I have to do but I really don’t want to.  Which can’t be good.”

“And you said Sophie seems to be thinking the same thing?”

“I don’t know for sure.  I might just be projecting my feelings on her,” Tyler exhaled.  “Sophie’s… the quiet type.”

“Really?” Gemma asked, truly surprised.  “Because, I mean, that laugh…”

“I know,” Tyler smiled.  “
That
she can’t control.  Not that she would.  I don’t know, I guess I don’t mean quiet in the way that most people think when they say someone’s quiet.  She’s just very happy to be a part of the background.  She’s not shy and it’s not like she doesn’t speak her mind.  It’s more that she never really needs to.  It’s funny – she and I have been together for much longer than anyone thinks.  It’s just that no one figured it out because she sort of blends into wherever we are.  But she’s like this warm ball of light that makes everything around her better and happier without anyone in the room knowing or understanding why the room feels suddenly sunnier.  I can’t explain it.”

“So is she not like that now?”

Tyler winced, rubbing the back of his neck.  “She’s definitely been a little muted, more so than usual,” he said.  “And without her being her normal self, it makes me doubt everything around me.  It makes me remember how hard it is to get to a point in a relationship where you love someone so much that you depend completely on them for your happiness.”  His voice cracked.  He leaned back against his seat, heaving a sigh as he peered awkward at Gemma.  “See, this is why I didn’t think we should talk about this…” Tyler turned his head slightly to look at her, frowning.

“I’m not uncomfortable discussing it if you aren’t,” she replied.  So much had tugged and pulled at her heart in the past few months.  It had somehow bounced back into shape every time, each time a little stronger.  It was a conversation she felt totally ready to have.

Tyler cleared his throat.  “Gemma, when I proposed to you,” he began, slowly.  He sighed again, looking nervous.  “I did it because I didn’t want to lose you.  And I could feel you slipping from my grasp and I couldn’t handle it.  I wasn’t ready for it.  But after we ended it, I realized the thing I was most afraid of losing was my idea of what you would become for me.”  Gemma furrowed her brows, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I had a lot of time to think about us after we broke it off.  Since I was taking a break from singing and touring and I was focusing on acting, I wasn’t moving around enough to keep me from thinking
nonstop
– mostly about why we didn’t work out.  And why we blew up the way we did.”

“Did you figure it out?” Gemma asked curiously, watching as Tyler’s eyes returned to the road.  He nodded.

“I fell in love with you at your concert in Barcelona,” he explained.  “And it was because I was
positive
without a doubt that you and I were soul mates.  I’ll admit I became kind of obsessed with that idea.  I researched every last detail and everything I found just validated my feeling that you and I were meant to be together.  We had so much in common.  We were both young, the same age, we knew what it meant to be internationally famous and to not be able to take two steps in public without being photographed.  I thought if anyone in the world could understand how I lived, it would be you.”

“I wasn’t even famous in this country until you called me out,” Gemma laughed.

“It would have happened anyway,” Tyler smiled.  “Because you turned out to be as talented and beautiful close up as you were when I saw you on stage.”

Gemma looked down at her hands and back up at Tyler.  “Do you think now that you were wrong?” she asked quietly.  “To think we were soul mates?”

“I realized, even while we were dating, that you weren’t the person I thought you were.  But that wasn’t a bad thing, it just meant that your life was actually different than mine.  You did the disguise so you could have another life and it was in that other life that you did your living.  And that was how Damian knew you and always knew you.  You guys were never just friends.”

“Except, we were,” Gemma argued.  “I didn’t have feelings for him when you and I were together.  I swear on everything I care about that I didn’t like him like that.”

“Maybe not.  But he was special to you.  You didn’t rely on anyone the way you relied on him.  And I didn’t like that.  I wanted to be that person for you.”

Gemma went silent, strumming her fingers on the leather divider between them.  “He was just a friend, then,” he said, finally. 
And now, he’s just a memory.

“And that’s all I wanted to be,” Tyler said.  “But you never let me.”

“Does any of this have to do with what’s going on now?” Gemma asked, trying not to sound too irritated.

“You married Damian in Vegas.  And as much as everyone’s saying you two were too drunk to make that decision, I think you would have held back if you didn’t really want to.  If you had a doubt at all, you would have stopped it from happening, like you stopped any chance of us being engaged when we were together.  You’re a strong person.  You know what you want and you get what you want.  That’s how you ended up jumping off a cliff, isn’t it?”

“I did that because I wasn’t really in my right mind,” Gemma laughed, bitterly.  “How can you use that against me now?”

“I’m not using anything against you now,” Tyler laughed.  “This isn’t a fight, Gemma, we’re not arguing.  Isn’t that kind of a breath of fresh air for us?” He asked with a little grin, trying to coax Gemma onto the same page as him.  “Everything that’s in the past is in the past.  Everything I bring up is just for reference.  It’s been years since we were a couple and I think it’s safe to say that neither one of us is the same person we were when we
were
dating.”

“So what are you saying then?”

“I guess I’m asking advice,” he said.  “I want to know, if I feel just an ounce of doubt, is it possible that this isn’t the right move for me?”

“Marrying Sophie?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to be with her? Do you love her?”

“Yes.  And yes.”

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?” Gemma asked.  Tyler tilted his head, thinking about it.