Diary of a Teenage Taxidermist (10 page)

Ethan could hardly believe how lucky he was to get a taste of such a first-class hunk. It was totally worth an eye. Maybe not brain damage, but an eye. He looked to the cheerleader team practicing just a few meters to the left. Chris pointed at them, saying something to Robert as they were both finished with the tires, but Ethan couldn’t hear what it was. He could guess it was something about their asses, or boobs, or whatever.

“Hi, you,” said a pleasant male voice from the side.

Ethan turned his head that way. He thought he was alone, but he must have paid too much attention to Robert because a guy from the cheerleading team managed to sneak up on him. He had a smile so white that in the sun it seemed like one bright line between his lips and a handsome, roundish face. “Ethan, right?”

“Y-yeah. How do you know my name?” He had no idea why this guy would want to talk to him. Wasn’t he in the celibacy club, anyway? Hardcore Christians never seemed to like Ethan much.

“Everyone knows you. I’m Derek by the way,” said the guy, sitting down next to him and offering his hand. The scent of fresh male sweat got Ethan’s senses alert in no time. “Hope you’re feeling better.”

Ethan shook his hand, still unsure where all this pleasantry was coming from. “Yeah, I’m better. Can they manage without you?” He pointed to the group of cheerleaders. Derek was one of only two guys on the team. His green and yellow uniform fitted his athletic body perfectly, but as yummy as he was, Ethan would rather continue ogling Robert’s ass.

Derek nodded. “I can spare two minutes. There’s something I want to ask you.”

“Oh, okay… yeah?” Ethan watched him intently. With the green eyes and dark hair, Derek looked as if he was made for his uniform.

“Do you already have a date for prom?”

Ethan frowned slightly and had another glance at the gold cross on a little chain over Derek’s neck. Was this guy trying to ‘save’ him? Get him a girlfriend or something? “I’m not even sure if I’m going…” Ethan pulled a few strands of hair behind his ear.

“Wanna go?” Derek leaned closer with a wide smile.

Ethan did another take of Derek, but didn’t back away. Was this guy actually gay? Was Ethan being asked out to prom? By a Christian gay boy cheerleader? Maybe this was a parallel universe after all. “Are you asking me out?” he muttered, needing to make sure this wasn’t some elaborate joke.

Derek nodded. “Yeah, but just so that you know: no sex. I’m too young for committing to anyone,” he said with a bright smile.

Ethan’s jaw dropped. This was crazy. Was this a pity thing? “Why me? You’ve never talked to me before.” he gently poked Derek’s thigh.

Derek sighed, looking into the sky. “You’re not bad looking, and I thought you’d like some cheering up after the accident. When I saw you all alone in the cafeteria the other day, I asked myself: ‘What would Jesus do?’ Some people are totally cool with eye patches, but if you got fed up with it, I know of a great prosthetics producer in the area.”

Ethan swallowed. The skin around the eye, the eyelid, had so much scarring it wasn’t even just a question of a glass eye. The whole area looked gross, and he’d need plastic surgery before he’d be brave enough to show himself to anyone without the eye patch. “And who’s better to cheer me up than a cheerleader, huh?” Ethan chuckled and let the other comment slide. Why not go with Derek? It could be fun. It wasn’t like Rob was ever an option. Rob would come over to Ethan’s to get a blow job, but he’d go to prom with Kelly.

“That’s what I thought.” Derek fumbled with his pocket and produced a card with his photo and social media contacts. “Add me on Facebook, and we can chat about the details.”

Ethan’s eye widened. Derek actually had a social media business card? Was this a thing now, and he’d missed it altogether? “So what’s the boundaries if there’s no sex?” Ethan had a weird déjà vu about the question. “I mean, I don’t mean anything has to happen. I’m just curious, you know.”

Derek pursed his lips. “Err, holding hands, maybe a kiss on the cheek?”

“Sounds good to me.” Ethan shrugged and tore out a page with one of the rat drawings. He wrote his phone number on the back and passed it to Derek. “That’s actually really nice of you.”

Derek grinned and got to his feet, already taking one step down toward the stairs. “It’s the Christian thing to do to put a smile on a fellow man’s face,” he declared and walked away, whistling some merry melody.

Ethan followed him with his gaze, still shocked, but why would he not go with it? They probably wouldn’t spend God-knew-how-much time together at the party, but even if he’d be wallflowering, at least he would get to watch other people dance and whatever other prom-y things people did. Though he still couldn’t believe a guy invited him to the prom. Ethan just hoped this wasn’t some
Carrie
scenario.

When he looked back at the field, the football players were gone. Damn, he’d missed watching Robert some more!

The cheerleaders were already starting to practice again, and he wondered whether he should watch Derek like a good almost-boyfriend would, or call his mom to pick him up. He’d finish the drawing first though. The little rat wore a letter jacket and rolled around with a football. Ethan was almost done with the sketch when he heard loud thumping coming from the stairs. One glance was enough to lighten up his day. Rob was there. Still in those tight and dirty pants, in a too-large long-sleeve, he was walking toward Ethan with a red box in hand.

“What are you doing here?” he asked once they were at comfortable hearing distance.

Ethan grinned at him. “You know, ogling the cheerleaders.” His heart melted at how much attention Rob was giving him. Even after Chris had told Rob in class that Ethan wasn’t his responsibility, Rob had just shrugged it off and helped Ethan finish that soup.

“Oh, yeah, was Derek bothering you?” asked Rob, taking up Derek’s former place. Rob was so much bigger in comparison that it made Ethan want to crawl into his embrace. His body heat rose in direct consequence to Rob’s proximity.

“Not really, no. He was actually nice.” Ethan slid a few inches closer, wanting to smell him. And no, Robert hasn’t showered yet, which made him smell spicier and bolder. Rawr.

“I’m surprised. He’s a bit... “ Robert shrugged and opened the box, revealing a selection of wonderful sliders in sesame seed buns.

“These look so nice!” Ethan took the opportunity to lean closer for a peek into the box.

“You can have some,” said Rob, picking up a small bottle. “Add some sauce if you like. And as for Derek, he’s a bit... batshit. Yeah, I think that’s the word.”

“He invited me to prom. Should I be scared?” Ethan laughed and grabbed one of the buns.

Robert frowned, his face going from sunny to cloudy within a split second. “What?”

“I know. It’s a bit weird, ‘cause he’s never talked to me before. He offered me a contact to someone who does prosthetics. I mean… what’s up with that?” Ethan started chewing on his slider.

Rob squeezed some of the brown sauce onto the tiny burger and closed the bun. “I thought he didn’t want to get a boyfriend until after college.”

“Yeah, he told me it has to be a chaste date. But I didn’t even think I’d be going so it’s still a step up.”

Robert cleared his throat. “So what, are you going to date him now?” He bit into the slider, slicing it in half with those healthy white teeth.

Ethan squinted, watching him for the longest moment, cogs slowly turning in his head. “Would that be a problem?”

Robert shoved the rest of the burger in, effectively shutting himself up for several seconds. He shrugged with a deep, bad frown.

Ethan snorted and had another bite. “Well, good. I don’t know. He left me his number and stuff, and said we’ll talk through the details. You think he’ll want me to wear an eye patch matching his tux?”

“But... you guys have nothing in common. He’d bore you to tears,” mumbled Rob, with his mouth still full.

“I don’t really know him, so I can’t be sure. Maybe if my parents knew he was this good boy, they’d let me date him?”

“Would the good Christian boy be cool with dating a guy who’s fucking another guy at the same time?”

Ethan stopped chewing, feeling a flush rush up to his face. He hated how quickly it showed on his pale skin. He looked down to his sketchbook. There had been no time to process any of this yet.

Rob assembled his second slider and raised it to his mouth. “You like the food?”

“It’s lovely,” Ethan uttered. “Thanks. The beef’s really nice.” From being friendless to having actual interactions with two different guys was such a big difference he didn’t know how to juggle it.

“And the avocado? It’s in those thin slices, it just melts in your mouth, doesn’t it?” Robert gave Ethan a small smile and bit into the second slider.

“Yeah, I like trying new stuff.” Ethan inched away discreetly, trying to put together how he understood the situation.

They sat in silence, with just the sound of chewing as soundtrack.

“I don’t know, Rob,” Ethan was the first to finally speak. “What we do is kind of like another dimension. No one knows, no one
will
know, so it’s as if it’s not completely real. Does that make sense? It’s like dreaming about having sex with your teacher or something. You can indulge because it’s just a dream, and then no one will know. So if, and that’s only
if,
I actually date Derek, he won’t know anything about it.”

Robert exhaled, swallowing the sandwich as he looked at the cheerleaders forming some kind of human pyramid. “If you want to date or fuck someone else, then I want to know about it because it changes stuff. I don’t see it like that at all.”

Ethan pouted and hugged himself. “How do you see it then?”

Robert sighed. “Well, it would be weird doing this with you if you were with someone else. I think this kind of shit is wrong.”

Ethan groaned. Why couldn’t he have what he wanted? He didn’t want to let go of what he had with Rob, even if it was just this weird
thing
. But he did want to go to prom with Derek, show everyone who mocked him that he could date a cute, popular guy. Even if it involved no sex. “You’re dating Kelly.”

“I’m not. I’m single, and I’m just going to prom with her.” Rob leaned back, watching the cheerleaders perform some uplifting routine.

“And I’m just going to prom with Derek.” Ethan huffed and crossed his arms on his chest. “Apparently he’s saving himself for gay marriage or some shit, so it doesn’t change anything anyway.”

“That’s all right.” Rob presented the box with the remaining slider to Ethan.

Sure it was all right for Robert. Ethan grabbed the slider and put as much as he could bite off into his mouth. When he came up with the idea of getting sex from Robert, he thought it would all be different, that he’d be in control of something he lusted for. Instead, he was becoming a neurotic mess. Making decisions about your love life when waking up from a coma probably wasn’t advised.

Robert glanced at him with an unreadable expression, but his eyes settled on the sketchbook and just like that, Ethan’s face went aflame. He still had it open on the drawing. “Is that... Robert the Rat or something?” asked Rob.

Ethan cursed in his mind. “I just got inspired,” he muttered. “It’s random.” The last thing Ethan wanted was for Rob to get the idea that he was some obsessed stalker boy.

“It’s pretty cute. Did you consider making an online comic with those?” Robert’s large finger traced the rat’s leg.

Ethan smiled and exhaled loudly. “Not really, no. But maybe I should. Robert the Rat in an illicit love affair with Mr. Weasel or something. Their interspecies love would be doomed.”

“Doomed love is overrated. This stuff doesn’t happen anymore, you know? Give them a happy ending.” Robert grinned and closed his lunchbox.

“And little rat-weasel babies?” Ethan raised his eyebrows. “Sometimes things just can’t work.”

“Wow, what’s that?
Junior: The Sequel
?” snorted Robert.

Ethan elbowed him with a chuckle. “I’m just saying it’d be hard for them.”

“Come on, we’re in the twenty-first century. Shouldn’t gay people be more positive in how they portray relationships? Tragic deaths and loneliness were good in the nineties.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Ethan shook his head. “Are you my new straight bestie?”

Robert chuckled and hung his head. “I just think that’s how it’s gonna be.”

“If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret and not freak out?” Ethan gently poked Rob’s foot under the bench so no one would see it. He wanted to show Rob that he trusted him, show him why it mattered so much that Rob helped him out in class.

Robert snorted. “Shoot.”

“I lost a few minutes in class today. That’s why I was so out of it. It doesn’t happen all that often, but every now and then since the accident. I blank, and then it’s a few seconds or even a few minutes later. I don’t pass out, but I don’t know what was happening either. It freaks me out and I don’t like to tell my parents about it every time it happens.” He hid his face in his hands, too nervous about Rob’s reaction to look at him.

For a moment, there was silence so deep he almost believed Rob fainted... or something, but then came a large, warm hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” whispered Robert in a voice so small, it belonged in the bedroom.