Did You Read That Review ? (80 page)

By
R. Peace
, October 15, 2004

This album, if you can even call it that, is the greatest thing ever produced by human beings. If I could choose one piece of art to represent the human race, this would be it. Any time spent not listening to this album should be seen as time wasted. This is how I spend my every waking moment. If you see anyone at any time doing anything else, that’s not me. No less than six of the ten flawless tracks are graced by the name of the master himself. A sure-fire cure for even the most virulent strains of Hulkamania. God bless Hulk, and God Bless America.

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful

Hands down the most important album of the 20th century!

By
Crazy Mofo
, May 22, 2006

Let’s face it. Hulk Hogan has created this generation’s
Dark Side of the Moon
! This amazing album takes you on a roller coaster ride both musically and emotionally. But, just like most great albums, it leaves you wanting more. Here we are ten years later, and we still haven’t received the Hulkster’s sophomore effort. He needs to give up wrestling and all that reality show junk and focus on what he is really great at: playing the bass and delivering razor-sharp rap verses. Long live the Hulk!

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful

We’ll Tag Up Again

By
Josef Gulick “Joe G. The O.G.”
, January 5, 2006

Quite simply put, this album rocks for three songs: “Beach Patrol,” “I Want to Be a Hulkamaniac,” and “Hulkster in Heaven.” The Hulkster dominates three genres (rap, dance, and power balladry) with effortless ease. Do not sleep on this masterpiece. Purchase it immediately and become a Hulkamaniac!!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

Singlehandedly makes the 90s musically important

By
Nikolaus O. Reed
, April 8, 2005

This is to the 90s what
Are You Experienced, Abbey Road
, and
In the Court of the Crimson King
were to the 60s. A brilliant, life-changing masterwork. Don’t make the mistake that could cause an earache! Simply put, you *need* to order this right away. The vocals are superb, and the songwriting is something else—music this fresh hasn’t been seen since 1968! Truly gives me hope for the future of rock ’n’ roll.

54 of 57 people found the following review helpful

Easily the best thing recorded in the history of sound!

By
Kenneth Kapelka
, April 30, 2003

From the opening rockin’ guitar chords, you know your ears are in for a musical treat. Yes, my friends, the Hulkster is in the house, and he’s doing it right this time. I am going to be the first reviewer to do a song by song review of this album, hoping to give you an inside perspective on the genius of the Hulkster:

1. “Hulkster’s in the House”—the intro is magnificent; you can tell the Hulkster spent some time really reflecting on and writing the lyrics to this track. Take this bit of wisdom for instance: “When the going gets tough, the tough get rough, heeey hoooo c’mon, let’s go!” Now I don’t like to share this with a lot of people, but I was on the brink. I didn’t think life had much left for me, and then one day I popped this disc in my stereo and it was so uplifting. Hulk, you saved my life. This song was also used in an episode of
   Malcolm in the Middle.
   
2. “American Made”—a little jingoistic diddy about how Hulk was “Born and Raised in the USA and a real American.” The only thing that I would change would be to let Hulk sing on the track.
   
3. “Hulk’s Back”—the Hulkster does hip-hop and raps. 2Pac, Biggie, NAS, Jay-Z have nothing on
   the Hulkster. Gotta love the woman who sings with him; now I know where Jay-Z got his idea to have Beyoncé on “Bonnie and Clyde ’03.” Best line is performed by the woman who steals the show as she croons toward Hulk, “Wah nah nah?” I’m sorry the song only clocks in at 2:20.
   
4. “Wrestling Boot Traveling Band”—a heartfelt ballad sung by Jimmy Hart (can you guys say, “The next Jimmy Buffett”?). I heard that Hart, Hulkster, and Mean Gene Okerlund wrote this one on a road trip to one of their many sold out gigs on Wrestling Boot Traveling Bandpalooza ’94.
   
5. “Bad to the Bone”—with the opening motorcycle noises, you know who’s bad. Is it Meatloaf? Motley Crue? No, my friends, it’s the Hulkster! Wait, this has been 2 songs without the Hulkster singing; where’d he go?
   
6. “I Wanna Be a Hulkamaniac”—oh yeah, Hulk does techno! Best line of the song: “Always go swimming with a buddy, work real hard, and always study.”
   
7. “Beach Patrol”—another rap classic. He was “walking down the beach looking for some action.” It digresses from there including a “Whoomp There It Is” line. I’m not kidding.
   
8. “Hulk’s the One”—words cannot describe how good this song is.
   
9. “Hulkster in Heaven”—this song is supposed to be about someone dying, and I think the Hulkster did a great job memorializing one of his young friends. It doesn’t matter that most of this song is used to make the Hulkster look like a great guy; we know his heart was in the right place and that the Hulkster could never be about his ego.
   
10. “Hulk Rules”—oh yeah, he does!
    

In closing, this album is a masterpiece unparalleled by any other. If you can find this anywhere, pay however much it takes to get your hands on this item. The genres of music Hulk mixes without much effort are amazing. Hogan is the man! I also hear rumors that the Wrestling Boot Band is planning a reunion tour sometime in later 2003/early 2004, so look out, ’cause they could be coming to a town near you. I’ll see you at the show!

4.5 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Richard Simmons—
Disco Sweat
(1994) [VHS Tape]

ASIN:
     6303471153

Price:
     
$9.95

Disco Sweat
is pure Richard Simmons: “get-up-and-dance” oldies and a bevy of exercisers of all shapes, sizes, and clothing styles, shaking their booties with abandon and joy. This time they’re boogying at the Brooklyn Disco under flashing lights. The music is all 1970s disco, with songs like “Mighty Real,” “Boogie Fever,” “Born to Be Alive,” “Last Dance,” “I Love the Nightlife,” and “I Will Survive,” accompanied by special effects such as a silver ball overhead or bubbles from a “car wash.” Richard’s choreography, as always, is easy and accessible to beginners: light, low-impact moves, repeated often. A few songs are especially fast for higher-intensity intervals, but the moves are still low-impact and uncomplicated. An occasional “disco point” of the fingers or “Travolta arms” add effect. After you dance your buns off, Richard takes you to the floor for ab work and stretching. This is a long workout, and if you’re just starting, you may not have the stamina to do the whole tape. Just do what you can on this 70-minute video, taking frequent breaks, and each week you’ll be able to do more.