Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet (33 page)

Sincerely,
Lambert Pogue, General Secretary S.P.N.A.S.A.
Clawson, Ohio

________

This was just the beginning. Mr. Pogue proceeded to make good on his threat to boycott the book. Rallying a small army of hominologists, they besieged the Comet Press Facebook page with angry calls for my head. Such was the furor, I genuinely believed
Damn Dirty Apes
would never see print, and I am enormously grateful to Cheryl Mullenax at Comet Press for weathering the storm and sticking by me.

In my defense, the character of Jameson T. Salisbury was written as an affectionate (if mischievous) tribute to the late Gerard Hauser. What little I know about Hauser—and indeed, very little is known—I gleaned from an article in the
Fortean Times
relating to Hauser’s doomed final expedition in the Arkansan backwoods. Hauser struck me as exactly the kind of colorful character I enjoy writing about, a real-life Quint from
Jaws. Damn Dirty Apes
was written as a light-hearted romp, no more or less. I had no intention of maligning Hauser’s reputation and I deeply regret any offence I may have caused.

Fortunately, I was able to placate Mr. Pogue with an apology, and a modest donation to the S.P.N.A.S.A. He lifted his embargo, and even kindly provided the somewhat terse disclaimer that precedes the story. Mr. Pogue would like me to stress that this should be in no way read as an endorsement, and advises any serious student of hominology that their time would be better served reading S.P.N.A.S.A. approved non-fiction.

Lesson learned, and in future I’ll stick to asking other writers for blurb.

Adam Howe is a British writer of fiction and screenplays. He lives in Greater London with his partner and their hellhound, Gino. Writing as Garrett Addams, his short story “Jumper”* was chosen by Stephen King as the winner of the
On Writing
contest, and published in the paperback and eBook editions of King’s book. His fiction has appeared in places like
Nightmare Magazine, Thuglit, Hor
ror Library 5
, and
Plan B Magazine
. His first book,
Black Cat Mojo,
is available now from Comet Press. He is currently working on his first novel,
One Tough Bastard
. Tweet him @Adam_G_Howe.

* “Raw, punky, and genuinely surprising.” —Stephen King on “Jumper”

___________

Also by Adam Howe
Available in Paperback and Ebook from Comet Press

Comet Press is an independent publisher of cutting edge horror and dark crime.
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