Read Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk About Sexuality Online
Authors: Deborah L. Tolman
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INDEX
Abstinence-only sex education, 202–203
Adios, Barbie
(Walker), 198–199 African American girls, 166–167, 170, 191, 222n2, 224–225n4.
See also
Urban girls Agency, 6, 73, 130, 158–162,
173
Aguilera, Christina, 7–8 AIDS.
See
HIV/AIDS
Alan Guttmacher Institute, 166 Alcohol, 64, 139–140, 147, 164
Alexandra, 29, 42, 183–184
Amber, 29, 158–162, 164, 178, 183,
191, 206
Ambivalence, 48, 100–115; fear
of being used, 91–92, 101–107;
internal, 103, 111; confusion, 107–115; critique of social roles, 108–109
Amy, 29, 36
Angela, 29, 36
Anxiety, 69
Assertiveness, 7, 159–161
Authenticity, 20, 22, 156
Barbara, 29, 42, 45–46, 140–145,
164, 174
Bartky, Sandra, 54
Being used, fear of, 91–92, 101–107
Bernardez, Teresa, 115
Betrayal, 75–76
Beverly, 29, 37, 46
Bisexuality.
See
Sexual minority girls Body, 34; knowledge of, 20–21,
50–51, 59–60, 64–65, 78,
212–213; disembodiment and
disconnection, 51–55, 113–114,
170–171, 179; voice of, 210–211.
See also
Confused body; Dissociation; “It just happened” stories; Silent body
Body image, 115, 222n2 Bordo, Susan, 54
Boredom, 103, 105–106, 122, 160
Boys Don’t Cry,
18
Boys’ sexuality, 205, 217–218n4, 218n5; males as sexual predators, 4–5, 104–105; social construction
of, 13–15, 24
Brandon, Teena, 18
251
Brown, Lyn, 38–39, 54, 134–135, 170
Burson, Colette, 6 Butler, Judith, 223n2
Caraway, Nancie, 166
Call to Action to Promote Sexual Health and Responsible Sexual Behavior, A
(D. Satcher), 3
Cassandra, 29, 42
Charlene, 29, 46
Christian-Smith, Linda, 81
Coming Soon,
6
Compulsory heterosexuality, 16–17,
46, 111–114
Confidence, 159
Confused body, 47, 66–77, 177; sexual abuse and, 66–71; lack of clarity, 67–69; dissociation, 72–77
Consciousness: dual, 80, 93, 101;
self-, 103–104; political, 118–119,
140–141, 150–162, 198; false,
221n2, 222n1
Consciousness-raising groups, 190–191
Contraception, 12, 53, 92, 96, 159,
162, 203
Contradictory desire, 80–81, 83–88
Cover stories, 2–3
Cultural factors, 30, 36
Curiosity, 57–60
Danger, eroticization of, 93–94, 133, 221n2.
See also
Reputation; Sexual abuse; Social consequences of desire; Violence
Debold, Elizabeth, 21, 115
Decision making, 6
Defensiveness, 157–158
Desire: denial of female, 2, 5, 8,
12–17, 54–55, 74–75, 189, 201;
cover stories, 2–3; social context of, 2–3, 37–38; social construc-
tion of, 13–15, 24, 38; missing
discourse of, 14, 35–26, 43;
knowledge of, 20–21, 50–51,
59–60, 64–65, 78, 212–213;
girls’ perspectives, 23–24;
phenomenology of, 23–24; personal dilemma of, 43–48, 115–116, 120; as dangerous,
46–47, 56–57, 76–79, 103–104,
127–128; strategies for negotiating, 47–48, 189; denial of by girls, 48,
213; mind-body interplay, 48,
85–87, 96–97, 183–184; politics
of, 48–49, 118–119, 150–162,
164–165; contradictions, 80–81, 83–88; as source of vulnerability, 85–88, 90–92, 95–96, 181–182;
fear and, 93–94.
See also
Confused body; Entitlement to desire; Resistance to desire; Sexuality; Silent body; Social consequences of desire
Disappearing desire, 82–100
Disembodiment, 51–55; sexual minority girls and, 113–114; suburban girls, 170–171, 179
Dissociation, 51–55, 88, 177; sexual violence and, 51–52; confused body and, 72–77; dangers of, 78–79; distancing, 88–94
Dodson, Lisa, 25–26
Double standard, 14–16, 46, 61,
74–75, 174, 199.
See also
Good girl/bad girl dichotomy
Dual consciousness, 80, 93, 101
Education, 57, 87–88, 91, 176
Ellen, 29, 45, 83–88, 174
Embodiment, 50–51, 188, 210, 213;
disembodiment, 51–55, 113–114,
170–171, 179
Emily, 29, 45, 100, 101–107, 116,
177, 193
Emotions, 121–122, 134–135,
205–206; mind-body interplay,
48, 85–87, 96–97, 183–184
Empowerment, 183
Entitlement to desire, 48, 100,
162–165; within relationship,
46, 120–128, 156–157, 163;
ambivalence and, 101–102, 111; context of experiences, 121–128; institution of heterosexuality and, 122–123; flirtation, 128–134; decision to delay sexual interc- ourse, 129–130, 163–164;
management of desire, 134–135; desire under cover, 134–150, 163–164; reputational fears and, 137–140; childhood sexual abuse and, 142–143; interpersonal/
psychological issues, 143–145; sexual minority girls, 145–150; political consciousness, 150–162,
198; geographic context, 177,
180
Erotic voice, 41–43, 55, 187–188,
210–213
Eugenia, 29, 46, 121–128, 163, 178,
191, 195, 196–197
False consciousness, 221n2, 222n1 Family structures, 28
Federal policy, 17
Femininity, 81, 115; dissociation and,
51–55; norms of, 53–54, 221n4;
social control and, 53–55, 128;
Perfect Girl, 170–171, 179, 186
Feminist analyses, 16–17, 48
Feminist consciousness, 118–119,
190, 198, 222–223n2
Feminist research, 25, 38–39, 48, 53.
See also
Methodology; Research Fine, Michelle, 14, 26, 59, 80–81,
173, 189, 202, 204–205
Flirtation, 128–134
Frank, Anne, 1
Frankenberg, Ruth, 215
Freud, Sigmund, 77, 221–222n6 Frustration, 45–46, 145–150
Gagnon, John, 14
Gaze, 81–82, 151
Gee, James, 37
Gender roles, 4–7, 46–47, 80–81.
See also
Double standard; Femininity; Good girl/bad girl dichotomy; Romance narrative; Sexual objectification; Social consequences of desire
Geographic context, 54, 168–169, 199–200; Urban Girl stereotype, 166–167, 169–170, 186; Perfect
Girl stereotype, 170–171, 179,
186; suburban girls, 170–171,
Geographic context (
cont.
) 176–180; differences and similarities, 172–173; and self- protection, 172, 173–176, 178; urban girls, 173–176; of violence, 174, 177, 180; of vulnerability,
181–182; of sexual abuse, 182–184;
mind-body interplay, 183–184; sexual minority girls, 184–185
Gill, Ros, 201–202
Gilligan, Carol, 38–39, 54, 134–135,
200
Good girl/bad girl dichotomy, 8–12, 45–46, 81–82, 105–106, 131;
political consciousness of, 118–119, 140–141; entitlement
and, 119–121, 129; geographic
context, 170–171, 179; trust and, 195–196.
See also
Double standard
Gray, Macy, 187
Guilt, 128–129
Hammonds, Evelynn, 225n4
Handbook of Adolescent Development
(Miller and Simon), 3 Have/hold discourse, 211 Heterosexuality, institution of,
17–18, 38, 164, 188, 211;
compulsory heterosexuality, 16–17, 46, 111–114; threat of sexual violence, 52–53; critique of, by girls, 100–101, 107–111;
resistance to, 118–119, 131–134, 189, 222–223n2; entitlement and, 122–123; geographic context, 179, 184–185.
See also
Danger; Double
standard; Femininity; Good girl/bad girl dichotomy; Rich, Adrienne; Romance narrative; Sexual minority girls
HIV/AIDS, 10, 53, 90–91, 103, 162,
166–167, 174, 176, 217n4, 219n1,
226n10
Holland, Janet, 14, 222–223n2 Hollibaugh, Amber, 201 Hollway, Wendy, 211, 218n5 Homosexuality, 218n7.
See also
Sexual minority girls
Honore, 29, 36–37
hooks, bell, 205
Hormones, 13–15, 217n2, 218n5 Hypotheses, 43
Industrial Revolution, 171
Inez, 1–2, 21–22, 29, 42,
94–100, 115–117, 175,
183, 192
Interviews, 1–2, 31–37, 66–67,
195–197; groups, 31–33, 195
“It just happened” stories, 1–2, 21–22, 60–64, 67, 89–90, 95
Jack, Dana, 128
James, William, 20
Jane, 29, 42, 45
Janine, 29, 55–60, 175
Jenny, 29, 60–65, 78, 179, 181,
192
Jordan, Judith, 29, 36
Julia, 29, 45
Kim, 29, 45, 71–77, 78, 181
Kitzinger, Celia, 199
Knowledge of desire, 20–21, 50–51, 59–60, 64–65, 78,
212–213
Landers, Ann, 8–9
Latina girls, 166, 170, 225–226n5.
See also
Urban girls Laumann, Edward, 227n1 Laura, 29, 66–71
Lesbian identity.
See
Sexual minority girls
Lewinsky, Monica, 7
Lily, 29, 42–43, 45
Listening Guide, 38–39, 209–211
Liz, 29, 42
Lorde, Audre, 25, 41, 187
Madonna, 7
Madonna-whore split, 11–12.
See also
Good girl/bad girl dichotomy
Magda, 29, 45
Malave, I., 21
Martin, Karin, 6, 25, 218n9
Master narrative, 14 Masturbation, 196; negative view
of, 60, 204; as violation of
femininity, 60–61, 74, 103,
111; ambivalence toward, 74,
127; positive view of, 129, 158
Meaning, 13–14
Media images, 7–8, 17, 18
Megan, 29, 43, 45, 46, 100–101,
107–115, 116, 117, 185, 192, 194,
196, 204
Melissa, 29, 45, 145–150, 163,
164, 206
Methodology, 26–31, 209–215,
219nn1–3; interviews, 1–2, 31–37, 195–197; explanation of research to girls, 31–35; data collection, 33–34; race/class issues, 35–36; silence, forms of, 35–36; girls’ answers, 35–37; trust and, 36–37; listening, 37–41; Listening Guide, 38–39, 209–211; voices, 39,
211–214; interpretation, 39–40,
209–210, 214–215; organization of narrative, 40–41; self stories, 209–210; desire voices, 210–211; reliability, 211–212; coding voices, 211–214; researcher bias, 214–215.
See also
Feminist research; Research; Voice-based analysis
Miller, Jean Baker, 20
Missing discourse of desire, 14, 25–26, 43
Moral code, 128
Moral panic, 8–9
Narrative form, 37
National Commission on Adolescent Sexual Health, 3
Nikki, 29, 45, 184
No-body body, 115
Nonverbal expression, 39
One-night stands, 138–140
Oral sex, 10, 124–125, 129, 144–145,
153
Orgasm, 7, 126–127, 142, 158
Other, 128, 171
Othermothers, 193
Over-Eye, 128
Parents, 83, 84, 92; research project and, 30–31; stereotypical views, 45, 75–76; unsupportive, 56, 66,
70, 83; supportive, 109, 125–126,
129, 145, 191, 197–198
Parker, Richard, 14
Passive voice, 67
Passivity, 59, 189; performance of,
132–133, 143–144
Paulina, 29, 42, 152–158, 164, 172,
173, 174, 190
Peer relationships: fears for reputation, 31–33, 66, 98–99, 123,
129, 195–196; silent body and,
58–59
People pleasing behavior, 105–107 Perfect Girl, 170–171, 179, 186
Philips, Lynn, 47
Pink Slip, 203–204
Pleasure narrators, 191
Plummer, Ken, 48, 198
Politics of desire, 48–49, 118–119,
140–141, 150–162, 164–165
Power, 199; erotic voice, 41–43, 187–188; sexual subjectivity and, 131–132, 159–160
Pregnancy, adolescent, 10, 136; fear
of, 45, 53, 86, 91, 174; racial
images of, 166–167
Pretense of pleasure, 7, 105–107,
126–127, 137, 156, 179
Promiscuities
(N. Wolf), 8 Psychological health, 3–4, 12–13,
19–22, 115, 134–135
Public policy, 9
Purity campaigns, 171
Race, 12, 35–36, 53, 166–169,
199–200; images of pregnancy, 166–167.
See also
African American girls; Geographic context; Latina girls
Ramazanoglu, Caroline, 222–223n2 Rape, 11, 53, 65, 75–76
Relational voices, 210
Relationships, 131; desire for, 4–5,
89–90; desire as part of, 41–42;