Dirty White Candy, The Beginning, Book 1 (22 page)

“Want to get to know each other better?”
 
I smiled.
 
Stepping back and opening the door, I motioned for him to come in.

“Oh man, and you’re working too.
 
I would have called first, but I forgot to get your number and, I figured, well . . .” he sighed.

“I’m just taking a break, John.
 
Stop stressing out.
 
Come in to the kitchen, let’s open that bottle.
 
I’ll need something to counteract all the coffee I’ve drank or I’ll never get to sleep.”
 
I went to the kitchen and grabbed the wine bottle opener.

“Here, you open it while I get the glasses.
 
Are you hungry?
 
I have enough food for a whole family here.”

“Normally, I would decline.
 
But all I’ve had today is a power bar, so yeah, that will be great.”

“Good, then don’t be a sissy and make a big plate so I don’t have this stuff stinking up my fridge.”
 
I winked as I poured the wine.
 
He had good taste in wine.
 
It was dark, red, full and slightly sweet.

“This is delicious.
 
Thanks,” he said trying not to talk with a mouth full of food.

“Yeah, I’ve been snacking on it for hours.
 
I got your wine, bring your plate.”
 
I scooped up his wine glass and went into the living room.

“Wow, you did all this tonight?” He asked as he motioned his fork around the room.

“Yeah, well, most of it.
 
I have had a very productive day.
 
You know, I really found my focus.
 
Actually, I have yours done too.
 
I just need to plug in the contact information and I can print them up tonight.”
 
I grabbed my laptop and pulled up his project.

He leaned in, setting his plate on the coffee table.
 
He studied what I pulled up for him, nodding.
 
“That is fantastic.”

“We should really exchange phone numbers, so I don’t show up unannounced again.
 
This is the first time I’ve ever dated someone, you know, under these circumstances.
  
I like you, Candy.
 
I enjoy being around you, so I don’t really want to screw it up.
 
I was worried about just showing up here tonight.
 
Wine.
 
I need more wine.
 
Do you want more?”
 
He nearly leapt off the couch.
 
It was refreshing seeing someone be nervous besides me.

“John, I’m not doing a different person every night.”
 
I laughed.
 
“It’s okay that you stopped by.”

“Yeah, do you want to exchange numbers so I don’t stop by at a bad time though?”
 
He ran his hands down the length of his pants.

“Sounds good.
 
Give me your phone, I’ll program my number in and shoot myself a text so I have yours.”
 
He handed me his phone and I set my number and sent a message to my own phone.

The next few hours we spent were a bit more relaxed as John talked about how he started renovating buildings with his father as a teenager.
 
When his father passed on, he decided to go out on his own and make green living quarters while restoring the downtown area.

John looked tired.
 
He kept running his hand through his thick wavy hair and rubbing his eyes.
 
Clearly, he was trying to stay awake.

I felt equally as tired.
 
“I’m enjoying your company, John, but I have a big day tomorrow, so I’m going to have to get to bed.”
 

“Thank you for dinner.”
 
He leaned over and gave me a quick, soft kiss.
 
“It’s been a pleasure.”

I walked him to the door, closing it behind him I leaned against it.
 
While my sexual appetite had increased, I was a bit sore from the past day.
 
My first individual session with Linda was tomorrow.
 
There was so much to talk about.

By the end of the work day, I was entirely caught up on all my work.
 
There was nothing left to do, so I made a list of things to discuss with Linda.
 
The paperwork said that there was a one hour standing appointment on Tuesdays at 4:00 p.m.
 
I wanted to make good use of the time since I had missed our previous appointments.

A little too eager, I arrived twenty minutes early and waited in the sitting room at Linda’s office.
 
I looked over my list again, not wanting to miss any of the subjects that were on my mind.
 

“Come on in, Candy.”
 
Linda stood in the doorway.
 
“I was beginning to think you were afraid of the one-on-one sessions.”

I followed her into her office, swiftly taking a seat.

“I wasn’t afraid of the sessions.
 
I just read through the document too quickly.
 
On the signature page, I assumed it was the standard closing statement and signed.
 
It was stupid, considering that I sign contracts all of the time.

“Yes, that’s happened before.
 
So, what do you think of therapy so far?”
 
Linda sat across from me, leaning back looking more relaxed than I preferred.

“At first, it seemed like a way for you to get free live porn, to be honest.”
 
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I worried she might be offended.

“And now?”
 
She was expressionless.

“Now, I feel quite the opposite.
 
I’m starting to feel more knowledgeable, more free.
 
I’ve come a long way in a short amount of time.”

“Yes, you are one of my rare cases.
 
See, for most people, their sexual hang ups come from other mental issues, family issues, abuse and such.
 
Yours only come from marrying as a virgin, and having a less than communicative or vivacious partner.
 
The sex was boring and you accepted that.
 
Now that you know there is more, you’re willing to explore.”

“I am willing.
 
I’ve actually experienced more in the last few weeks than I ever have.”

“You’re reaching orgasm frequently now?”

“Yes,” I admitted looking at the floor.

“Do not look down.
 
Be proud.
 
Look me in the eye.”

“Yes, I’m having more frequent orgasms.
 
They’re more intense as well.”
 
I fought to maintain eye contact.
 
It wasn’t easy.
 
I was still embarrassed talking about sex.

“How do you feel in group?”

“Feel?”

“Yes, how do you feel about performing sexual acts in a room full of people?”

“I don’t know.
 
I always feel so nervous when we begin that I think I’m going to throw up.
 
But it gets easier each time.
 
David is very nice and thoughtful, which makes the experience nicer.”

“Yes, and I want you to know that it is normal for you to crave release together in private.
 
Many of my students get together outside of class to explore without the pressure of group.”

I thought about this for a moment.
 
“I am confused, though.
 
I know people go to therapy for sex addiction and promiscuity.
 
Here we are practicing promiscuity.”

“Candy, people come to someone like me for numerous reasons.
 
Promiscuity can be an issue.
 
Failure to create and foster emotional bonds and relationships can be a problem if you’re addicted to sex.
 
The purpose of your treatment is to help you overcome your apprehension about sex and to gain knowledge and confidence.
 
So that’s where our therapy sessions will go.
 
If you start acting out in dangerous ways, therapy for you will change.
 
This is a controversial area in psychology.
 
Not all therapists would agree with what I do.”

“I see.”
 
Like watching strangers perform whatever sex act you wish?
 

“Does this bother you?”

“No.
 
Not really.
 
I’m more focused on my own growth at the moment.
 
I want to experience it all, new things.
 
I am just now, in my early thirties, discovering what I like.”

“What new experiences have you had since our first appointment?”

I swallowed hard.
 
It was therapy.
 
She was a doctor.
 
I could and should be honest.
 
“Well, I had sex with a woman for the first time.
 
David and I have had sex, as you know.
 
I also have had sex with a neighbor of mine this past weekend.
 
I guess you can say I’ve been a bit of a whore.”

“We don’t use that word in this office.
 
It isn’t healthy.
 
Candy, you are a young, single and attractive woman who hasn’t had decent sex until very recently.
 
It’s natural for you to do these things, to be a sexual being.
 
Be sure to use protection at all times so as not to contract or spread STDs.
 
Other than that, this is just consenting adults pleasuring each other, and while some of society doesn’t have a healthy view, you would be surprised how many people do.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“There is a large section of society that get together for the sole purpose of having sex with strangers.
 
There are websites where like-minded people can find each other for casual sex or to live out sexual fantasies.
 
Most of these people are responsible and understand their needs and desires.
 
They take action instead of harboring pent up frustration and suffering from lack of release.”

“Really?”
 
Wow.
 
I tried to imagine a world where people just got together for pleasure.

“Did you enjoy your sexual experience with another woman?” she asked.

I sat back in my chair, not wanting to answer.
 
I had to clear my throat before I could speak.
 
“Yes, very much.”

“And you’ve climaxed and enjoyed sex with men as well.”

“Of course.”

“I think homework would be good for you.”
 
Linda stood from her chair and retrieved a business card from her drawer.
 
“Here are two websites.
 
At first, I just want you to review them.
 
See what people are doing, what they like.
 
Then, if you’re comfortable, you can create your own profile to find others to meet.”

“Like for sex?”

Linda smiled.
 
“Yes, Candy.
 
Most people will meet for coffee or a drink first to see if there is any chemistry.
 
If you start a profile, I would suggest mentioning that you’re new.
 
There are a lot of couples who will be happy to meet you and to guide you slowly.
 
Look out for the single men, unless you know self-defense or carry a weapon.
 
You’re not the largest woman in the world and we don’t want to endanger you.
 
That’s why I suggest a public meeting first.
 
If someone gives you an uneasy feeling, then you part ways without any sexual contact.”