dissonance. (a Böhme novel) (6 page)

I closed my laptop and laid my head on the back of the couch and looked at my ceiling. I misjudged Blake. But, I couldn’t base everything about him on his online profile. After looking through it though, I became even more curious.

I sighed as I resolved to the fact that I needed to apologize. Apologies were not things I was keen to give, but I’d do it.

A knock sounded at my door that made me jump and I quietly walked to it and looked through the peep hole.

“Auntie, it’s me. I know you’re up watching TV. You don’t work tomorrow.” Conall smiled down at me as he leaned on the doorframe.

I unlocked the door and let him into my apartment.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, stepping aside to let him enter.

“Jess has to get up early, so I didn’t want to stay there,” he said as he took a seat on the couch. “What are you up to Aunt Breck?”

“Just surfing the web and thinking,” I said as I sat next to him.

He turned toward me with a snarky grin, “So what's that smiley guy's profile say about him?”

I punched him in the shoulder on reflex. He resembled his father so much I regressed into a younger version of myself when Conall teased. “Shut up dude,” I said.

He gave me a steadfast expression, focused on waiting until I spoke further. He understood I had something to say. Yet another trait he shared with his father.

“Okay, yes, I looked him up online. I’m curious about him.”

“Ahh, you’re curious about him?” Conall asked with a raised brow.

“Yes, he’s so genuine,” I said as I closed my eyes, realizing I more than likely wore a dreamy expression. “I appreciate that about him and it feels abnormal. I shouldn’t be attracted to a guy that young.”

“Why does it matter how old he is?” Conall asked.

“I guess it doesn’t to me; I never imagined myself a cougar though,” I said.

“You’re awesome and he’d be crazy not to be as interested in you, regardless of how ancient you are. Besides you’re more like a puma than a cougar. Grandma’s a cougar.” He pulled me in for a half hug and a laugh.

I gave him a light shove. “I suppose so. But stop calling me auntie and
ancient
—and never compare me to your grandma again” I said as I pointed at his face and stood to go to bed.

“Good night, nephew.” I kissed the top of his head and as I got to my door I paused, turning back to him with a smile.

Day by day he reminded me more of his grandfather as well.

More people know about these now. They’re talking. Talking is good. The more talk, the more attention is drawn to them. The more attention, the more people will begin to think about things. Then the more people will want to know the truth behind them.

The writer only hoped with each of the questions posed, the reader will become aware—aware of themselves and the world around them. Aware of what they did to those they should love.

The painting this time was of a little boy tying his tennis shoes. The boy’s face held sadness and fear as those around him, just watched—judging to see if he gets it right.

Why did you run?

I dropped my phone next to my bottle and pushed myself up, squeezing the bar with my hands in frustration. I growled, and Gabe gave a mocking laugh in response.

“What’s your problem?” he asked.

“I’m an idiot. I couldn’t stop thinking of that drummer, Brecken, so I found her profile online. Yeah, so I sent her a message,” I said as I put my hands atop my head and let my elbows relax.

“That doesn't sound crazy to you?” Gabe smiled and looked to our friend Toby with a smart ass grin. Toby showed up a short time ago and Gabe filled him in on my day, making sure not to forget my Abby story. He also shared about my new interest in Brecken. These guys were worse than a bunch of old women.

“Yeah, I know it does. I looked up her band, got her full name, and then sent her a message. It’s crazy as fuck. She's pissed at me,” I said as I spun my phone around on the bar.

They both laughed as Karl came back to join us.

“Well, considering you managed to piss off Abby royally, it sounds as though you’re 2-0 for the evening,” Toby said with a pointed expression, taking a drink of his beer.

“And what’re you guys discussing?” Karl asked with a shake of his head.

Gabe leaned onto the bar and pointed at me with his beer, “Blake has it for the drummer chick, but apparently he pissed her off, which makes one worry for our friend Blake considering his track record with the female of the species this evening.”

“Oh, so you have a thing for Brecken?” Karl asked with a shrug.

“It's not a thing. I’m not going to ask her to the school dance or something,” I said, leaning both forearms onto the bar and flipping my phone over in my hand several times.

“She’s the one that used to babysit me,” Karl said matter of fact.

“For real?” I asked.

“Yeah, she grew up on the same street as my parents. Her mom still lives there, over off of Broadway,” Karl said.

“What's her story?” I asked.

“Well, she’s tough,” he said with another Karl shrug.

“Tough how?” I asked.

“Her mom raised her and her brother after their dad died. Her brother is a half brother who had a different mom that gave up her rights, and Brecken’s mom adopted him. I moved when I was ten, so she was twenty and by that time I hadn’t seen much of her. She traveled around for a while. She got into some shit. I’ve only seen her in passing. We weren’t close, other than she was my babysitter. Her nephew and I are closer,” Karl explained. 

“Thank you for the brief history, dude. Should I need a further description, I know where to find a more detailed explanation in the future.” I laughed and nodded to the bartender. “Let’s get you another drink then my friend.”

_______________

We left a couple hours later, and I managed to not drink enough to make dumb ass mistakes. I did keep checking my phone like a tween though, wondering if Brecken responded to me.

Then, since I reminded myself of it, I checked my messages again.

Nope, still nothing
.

“Okay, just apologize,” Gabe said as he walked next to me, pointing at my phone.

“I have nothing to apologize for, man. She overreacted,” I said on a scowl.

“Yes, you do. Just because you have a need to be the tough guy and not coddle women, doesn’t mean you can’t admit when you’re wrong. I read your conversation, you were patronizing and girl obviously has hang ups with guys taking the reins. So, that works in your favor considering how you hate it when girls want you to baby them. Apologize and talk to her as you do one of us. Quit treating her as a foreign being, man. Treat her as an individual,” Gabe said as he put his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

“Very insightful, Gabe. You’re in the wrong business,” I said. “You should be an online guru with your own ebook that people can download for three easy payments. People will eat the shit out of your knowledge like hotcakes,” I said with a sincere laugh. He was insightful.

He laughed, “I have no clue what that even means, and it sounds disgusting. But what you said is precisely why I am where I should be. Advertising, marketing—I understand people and their motives. It’s perfect. For instance, you’re now thinking of what you’re going to say to her and dreaming of building her a wood carving and wooing her with it,” he said.

“Oh now you’ve gone too far Gabe. Don’t mock my whittling.”

“Of course I'm mocking it—and I mock your jug headedness,” he said as he waved to a passing cab. The cabbie stopped and with a quick wave to me, Gabe climbed in, “On that note—later Blake.”

Karl came up behind me and casually said, “Hey, there’s another one.” He pointed to the side of the laundromat across the street.

Why did you run?

Good question. But I was never one to run. The figure in the picture reminded me of my friend Wynn. He could easily have been that boy, tying his shoes, waiting to run. But he never ran either. We both shared the need to stay and follow the hard stuff through to the end. Only difference with me though was—I refused to chase the runners. If they decided to go—so be it.

Karl stopped mid step and turned back to me, “Oh hey, I forgot to ask you earlier. Can you help me take some things up to the Böhme tomorrow? I have those pieces I’m finally sharing and I can’t get them in my car. Plus the car isn’t dependable at all.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem. What time?” I asked, as I watched Karl continue on his way. He was strange, and the guy walked his own path that was for sure. I didn’t even know he had a car.

“Don’t care. Morning sometime,” he said as he shrugged and put his hands in his pockets before turning to walk away. I didn’t know where he was going tonight. For all I knew, he just walked all night—no telling with Karl.

_______________

My phone woke me the next morning, and I wondered who the hell thought it important to call at the ass crack of dawn. When I checked my clock, it was past eight. I decided I didn’t have to kill whoever was calling then.

It was Wynn, and I wondered why, because he never called. Talking on the telephone was not something he usually did.

I ran my hand across my face before answering. “Hey, Wynn.”

“Hey man, I’m sorry to call so early, but are you going to Karl’s exhibit today?” he asked.

“Yeah, you guys are going to be there?” I asked. Wynn despised crowds or parties, but since meeting Hannah he was more apt to go to them.

“Hannah and I wanted to tell everyone something, but didn’t want to say it over the phone,” he said, without any serious inflection because that’s how Wynn was. I imagine his expression was deep in thought. He always had a quiet, serious tone, but it had been less so since Hannah came into his life.

“Yes, definitely. I’ve wanted to see Karl’s work after he did the painting at the Böhme,” he said in a way that sounded foreign for Wynn. He sounded excited.

“Sweet. I can’t wait to see you guys. It’s been too long. It was Christmas—wasn’t it?” I asked as I realized it had been five months since I last saw him.

“Yeah, I know. We’ve been busy working on the house. We're close to finishing now. Gabe sent me a text saying he wanted to have a party out here sometime soon. We could do that in a few weeks.”

“Party huh? How’s the thought of that affecting you?” I asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, not too keen on the idea, but hey at least I will be near home and I can decide who’s coming,” he said. “So how was your night?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“It was good. I met a chick,” I said with a smile, knowing Wynn appreciated my usual claim of meeting a girl.

“Yeah, go figure. So who is this
chick
?” he asked.

“Well, she’s a drummer. She’s tough. She has a kick ass car. She’s ten years older than me. I get the feeling she’s funny as hell, but she wants nothing to do with me,” I said with annoyance. “Yeah, I shouldn’t have called her a chick. She’s a woman.”

“That’s a new one, isn’t it?” he said with a sarcastic laugh. “She sounds interesting. Someone older could be good for you.”

“Yeah, it’s a new one. My interest isn’t from her disinterest though, so don’t throw that in my face,” I said. “The age thing isn’t a problem for me either. She’s been bitchy, but I can look past it. It just shows she’s opinionated. She doesn’t buy into bullshit, which is a plus.”

“Speaking of disinterest…” he said with hesitation. “Is Abby still in the picture?”

“Yeah, we had a mishap last week. I was the drunk dumbass and brought her home with me. But I ended it. If I want to keep my sanity and my pretty face, I’ll keep it ended. My mom was pissed when she found out about my mishap.” I laughed.

Wynn let out a loud laugh at the mention of my mother. “I’m sure she was… oh hey, Hannah wants to talk to you,” he said.

“Blake?” Hannah asked on the other side of the phone.

“Yes, Hannah,” I said with a smile.

“You didn’t—you know, with Abby?” she asked.

“Why do the two of you have the need to ask me for details on my sexual relations?” I asked with a laugh.

“Because Blake—you need a good girl. You gotta get away from her,” Hannah said as a swat sounded in the background and Wynn started laughing.

“Yeah, it’s ended,” I said and Wynn spoke again farther away from the phone.

“So Wynn just said there’s someone else?” Hannah asked with excitement.

I laughed. “Not yet. I only started talking to a woman last night.”

“
Woman
?” she asked with a smile in her voice. “I’ve never heard you use that word before Blake. I’ve heard chick and girl. Then there was that one time you said bird, which was weird. But I’ve never heard you use the word woman.”

“Oh, how highly you think of me, Hannah.” I laughed. “Yes, she is a woman. She’s out of my league. She’s smart, funny—"

“And bitchy?” she said, interrupting me. “Wynn just mouthed bitchy at me. You’re on speaker phone now by the way.” Hannah laughed. “Where did you hear bird anyway, Blake?” she asked.