Dissonance (24 page)

They chatted comfortably, and for once the silences between didn’t bother Cam. Like the food, conversations also needed to be savored. The wine gave him a nice warm buzz. He spent more time looking at Galen, and Galen looked back. Cam guessed Galen understood what would happen later, and from the way Galen met his gaze, he knew Galen wanted it as well.

After nearly an hour, Galen got up and began to clear the table.

“I can help,” Cam offered as he gathered some of the condiments and put them in the refrigerator.

Galen had just started to put the dishes in the dishwasher when the doorbell rang. Cam nearly jumped out of his skin. Had they found him? Could they find him if his mobile was turned off?

“Expecting someone?” Cam’s heart raced and his hands felt suddenly cold.

“No.” Galen frowned. “I’ll answer it. Wait here. If you need to, you can go down to the basement and hide,” Galen said, clearly sensing Cam’s fear.

Cam nodded and Galen was gone a moment later, closing the door to the kitchen behind him. Cam tried to look out of the kitchen window, but the bushes were too high, and he couldn’t see to the front of the house.

What’s the worst that can happen?
The thought of being locked in a cell made him shiver. He’d always been a bit claustrophobic, but since the dreams had begun, it had only gotten worse. What if they wouldn’t grant him bail? What if—?

“It’s okay, Cam,” Galen said from the other side of the door. “You can come out.”

Cam drew a long breath and, after a moment’s hesitation, peered out of the kitchen. The kid seated at the dining room table was barely recognizable—the only giveaway the curly red hair that peered out from under his hoodie. “Jamie?”

Jamie turned his head and Cam’s heart leapt into his throat. The boy was beaten and bloodied, his lower lip split, his left eye nearly swollen shut. Several cuts bled from his forehead, and a gash ran from his cheekbone halfway to his nose. His very bloodied nose.

“Cam,” Galen said in an impossibly calm voice, “can you please bring me the first-aid kit from under the bathroom sink in the front hall?”

Cam nodded dumbly, biting back the urge to demand to know who had done this to the boy. Thank God for Galen, whose reassuring smile when Cam reentered the room with the first-aid kit set the tone for Cam’s more muted response. “How can I help?”

“Can you please get me a bowl of warm water and a washcloth from upstairs?”

When Cam returned a moment later, Galen had an arm around Jamie’s shoulder. Jamie’s eyes were red, no doubt from crying. “Please don’t call Child Protection,” he whispered as Galen dipped the washcloth in the warm water and began to dab at Jamie’s face. “I don’t want to go back to foster care.”

“I’m not calling anyone right now,” Galen said, his voice gentle. “Let’s get you cleaned up first. We can talk about that later, okay?”

Jamie nodded.

“Will you tell me about it?” Galen asked as he dabbed Jamie’s face. He rinsed the washcloth in the bowl of water and dabbed again.

“You promise you won’t call Child Protection?” Jamie asked. “Because I’ve only got seven months, and then I’m outta here and he can’t touch me again.”

Galen nodded. “Your stepfather?”

Jamie pressed his lips together and looked away.

“It’s okay, Jamie. Deep breath.” Galen continued to clean Jamie’s cuts.

“Are you going to call them?” Jamie asked Cam. He looked far more frightened than angry, and Cam knew he hadn’t meant it as an insult.

“I’m the last one who would call the authorities,” Cam said. “Believe me.”

This seemed to placate Jamie, because he turned back to Galen and said, “Yeah. My stepdad. We don’t get along very well. Never have. We had a few… run-ins.” Jamie shrugged and stared at his hands.

Cam immediately understood this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

“Is it all right if I explain?” Galen asked Jamie.

Jamie nodded.

“When Jamie’s stepfather lost his job about a year ago, things got worse at home. Then Jamie came out to his parents six months ago, at the end of his junior year. His stepfather gave him a black eye and kicked him out of the house. He spent a few months in foster care, but the social services folks returned him to his parents,” Galen said.

“My stepdad took anger management classes.” Jamie winced as Galen dabbed at the gash on his right cheek. “Not that it helped. My being gay just gives him a new excuse.”

Galen frowned. “This one’s going to need stitches.”

“If I go to the hospital, they’ll put me back in foster care.”

“Okay,” Galen said as he shook his head. “We can try some Krazy Glue. But it’ll hurt. And it may scar.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

“Krazy Glue?” Cam stared at Galen as if he’d lost his mind.

“Great for paper cuts,” Galen explained. “Holds the skin together.”

“Oh.” One of these days, Cam would ask Galen how he knew all these things. For now, though, he focused his attention once more on Jamie.

“You hurt anywhere other than your face?” Galen asked. The water in the bowl had turned a brownish red from blood.

“Nah. He threatened to break my fingers, but he knows I’ll lose my scholarship if I can’t play. Then he’d be stuck with me longer.”

“What set him off this time?” Galen opened the first-aid kit and pulled out a tube of ointment.

“I told him I was taking Rich to the winter dance.” Jamie spoke the words defensively, as if challenging Cam and Galen to tell him what a mistake that had been. Neither of them would, of course. “He said something obnoxious, like he usually does when it’s about me. My mom told him to lay off of me, but that just pissed him off more.”

“Your mom okay?” Galen’s brow furrowed, and Cam guessed the stepdad didn’t always stop at hitting Jamie.

“Yeah. One of the neighbors heard the shouting and my stepdad took off. I figured I didn’t want to be around when he got back.” Jamie clenched his jaw and hopped off the chair.

“Dude.” Galen raised his eyebrows and pointed to the chair. “I’m not done with you yet.”

“Sorry.” Jamie sat back down and nibbled on a fingernail. “It’s just that he makes me want to punch him back. That’s all.”

“I know.” Galen went back to work on Jamie’s chin. Jamie flinched once, then sighed and relaxed. “But if you hit him back, you’d give him cred.”

Cam knew he’d have hit the bastard and enjoyed it.

“You can’t go back there,” Galen said after he’d finished cleaning the cuts. “Your sister still living around here?”

Jamie stared at the floor. “I don’t want to make things hard for her.”

“She told you last time she’d be there if things didn’t work out at home.” Galen pulled a small tube from the first-aid kit, then eyed Jamie’s cheek. The cut had stopped bleeding, but it looked terrible.

“I know, but that was before Carlos was born. Things are pretty crowded at her place.” Jamie inhaled sharply as Galen applied the glue and brought the edges of the cut together.

“You doing okay?” Galen asked. Jamie nodded. “I know you’re worried you’ll make things difficult for them,” he continued. “But Kathy will be more worried about you if you
don’t
stay with them. We’ve talked about this. The only other option is foster ca—”

“I
won’t
go back to that!” Jamie shouted as he sprung up once more.

“Whoa. It’s okay. I’m just trying to level with you, man,” Galen said.

“I know.” Jamie sighed and sat down again.

“We’ll call Kathy. Explain what happened.” Galen took the small Band-Aid Cam offered him, then covered the cut.

Cam only half listened as Galen and Jamie discussed longer-term options for Jamie’s last year of high school. Cam’s mind wandered, revisiting some of his rediscovered memories. As Galen put his arm around Jamie’s shoulders and comforted him, Galen’s words echoed in Cam’s mind.
“You were a kid. He took advantage of you. Hurt you. He’s sick, Cam. Twisted kind of sick.”

He’d warred with those words since the day he’d told Galen about the abuse. He’d understood he wasn’t to blame for what Duncan had done to him. But he hadn’t truly believed it. He’d told himself if he’d hated it, he’d have done something to stop Duncan.

Cam tried to imagine himself as a child, this time from the outside looking in. Jamie hadn’t wanted the bruises. But he hadn’t been able to stop them either. Was it really so different?

He knew the answer. He and Jamie were the same.

He imagined himself running through the gardens at the castle, the wind in his hair and the sun on his face. He’d been so happy. The way a child was supposed to be. He hadn’t asked to be hurt. He hadn’t asked to be betrayed. He’d just wanted to be loved.

A flicker of something kindled within his heart and caught fire. Something born to protect and keep his newfound hope for the future. A reason to be strong. For the first time since he’d remembered, he recognized it for what it was: anger.

G
ALEN
PULLED
into the driveway at nearly 1:00 a.m. He’d driven Jamie to his sister’s place in Hackensack, a small two-bedroom apartment she shared with her husband and eighteen-month-old son. Decent people who’d keep Jamie safe.

He killed the engine and just sat in the car. He needed to clear his thoughts. When he’d seen Jamie, his face a bloodied mess, he’d nearly lost it and gone after the stepfather.

Not the first kid beaten up by a parent. Not the last.
These thoughts intruded as he struggled to focus on his breathing and relax. He’d held on to the steering wheel so tight on the return trip, his fingers ached. His chest tightened uncomfortably as his anxiety grew.

Breathe. Focus.

Failing to report child abuse. He could lose his job for that. He knew the drill all too well. But calling social services meant breaking his promise to Jamie.

Breathe. Focus.

And then there was Cam. Making dinner. Looking so good. Looking
happy
for a change. Relaxed, even. And no matter what he told himself, Galen couldn’t deny he wanted Cam. Hell, he’d wanted Cam since the moment he’d seen him shed that prickly exterior. The day he’d tried to kill himself. Again. He’d wanted to help Cam. But he also wanted more. He guessed Cam sensed it too.

Breathe. Focus.

Cam would be leaving soon. A good thing. He was building his strength, getting ready to take his life back. As he should.

Breathe. Focus.

Galen imagined the sound of waves crashing on the sand. Imagined the blue and white of the surf.

Breathe. Just breathe.

His breath like the waves, retreating, then returning. Softly.

Inhale. Exhale.

No mantra. Just the music of the world around him. Sound. Vibration. Filling his heart and mind. Cleansing it. A single note, joined with others. Colors of sound wending their way around his mind, chasing his blood to his heart and limbs.

Cam.

C
AM
LAY
asleep on the couch. Galen smiled to see Max curled up against him. Max could always sense kindness—and although Cam tried to deny it or even hide it from the rest of the world, dogs
knew
. And Galen knew too.

“Hey,” Galen said in a low voice.

Cam opened his eyes slowly. “You’re back?”

“You waited up for me.”

Cam looked away, then met Galen’s gaze. “Yes.”

Galen knew how hard the truth was for Cam. He wouldn’t let on how much it mattered that Cam had started to level with him—that would make Cam uncomfortable. But he could appreciate it even so.

“How’s Jamie?”

“He’s okay. His sister’ll watch out for him.” Galen sat down next to Cam and scratched Max’s head. Max pressed into his hand and stretched. “I called a friend of mine who works with runaways in Trenton. Jamie’s probably old enough to live on his own now. His sister will take care of him until we get that part straightened out.”

“What about school?”

“Got it covered. I’ll pick him up at the train station on my way to school and his sister will take him on the days I don’t work.” Galen took Cam’s hand and held it. “He’ll be all right, Cam. Promise.”

Cam said nothing. Galen guessed he was thinking about something in his past. Ghosts lingered, no matter how ancient.

“This isn’t about him, though, is it?” Galen asked after a few minutes passed in silence.

“I’m worried about you,” Cam said in a half whisper. “If they find me—”

“I’ll tell them you took advantage of me,” Galen joked, hoping to put Cam at ease.

“Galen…,” Cam warned. “I’m serious. I need to think about turning myself in.”

“I know.” Galen made sure Cam saw his face and knew it was okay, that he’d support Cam any way he could. “And then what?”

“Then I’ll end up in jail.” Cam’s voice quavered slightly.

He’s afraid.
Much as Cam might not see it, Galen figured it was a good thing. It meant Cam wanted to survive. Galen could let Cam go knowing that. “No, you won’t. You’ll figure out how to prove you’re innocent.”