Ditched (2 page)

Just in case what
?

He had the
decency to give me a sheepish look. “Right, I know. Well…I’ll see you later. Call if you…you know…need anything.”

“Thanks
again,” I said. I reached over to give him a quick hug. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“’Kay,” he said as I got out.

I dug the key out of my purse. Collin and I had known each other since we were toddlers
because our families were friends.
He and I had dabbled in dating throughout high school. We’d had an on-again off-again relationship that was usually more on than off. Since we were both now in college, things had gotten serious. We’d been engaged since winter break. He’d given me a key to his house just last month.

I made my way to the front steps in the beams of Max’s headlights. Once I had th
e key in the lock, the door opened and I had stepped inside, it occurred to me how odd it was that no lights were on. If someone was just dropping Collin off…shouldn’t the lights be on?

I fumbled for the light switch
that was just inside the entry way. In the short time it took me to find it, I realized that whoever was here was not simply dropping Collin off. Judging by the sounds floating down the hallway, they were doing a whole lot more than that.

In that instant, too shock
ed to feel much of anything, I stormed down the hall, thinking for a split second that maybe someone was staying in the spare room that Neil had abandoned. As I walked past the open doorway, I realized that was not the case.

The sounds were definitely coming from Collin’s bedroom. If it hadn’t been so late, if I hadn’t been so
clueless, so trusting, so…naïve, I would’ve realized that those noises were exactly what I thought they were.

But I just
knew
they couldn’t be.

I pushed Collin’s door open, flipped his light on and was greeted by a sight that would undoubtedly be emblazoned into my subconscious until the day I died.

“What the hell?” Collin cried.

I barely registered the shocked look on his face as he glanced over his shoulder at me. I squeezed my eyes shut and backed up
. Or more accurately, I stumbled backward. I’d seen more than I ever wanted to see. I had no idea who he was with—only that he was most definitely with someone. She’d been buried beneath him and I hadn’t seen her face.

Not that I needed to see her face. I’d
already seen plenty.

I slammed into the wall behind me. My heart was pounding and my limbs had gone numb. I was vaguely aware of the absence o
f tears. Apparently, they were too shocked to appear.

“Holly!
HollyHollyHolly
!”

I heard Collin saying my name. I also realized I had already taken off down the hallway. My body and mind were flooded with a deluge of emotions. More than anything, I ju
st wanted to get away. I stumbled down the short hallway, back into the entryway. It was a small miracle I didn’t trip and fall over my own feet. Black spots were dancing in front of my eyes, making it difficult to see. My heart was thrashing and I threw my hand to my chest, as if that alone would make it settle down.

Collin grabbed me by the
elbow; somehow he’d managed to yank some boxers on.

“Holly, stop!”

I shook my head, but my throat was too constricted to force any words out. My breathing had become too fast and too irregular. I was afraid I was going to add to my humiliation by passing out cold on the floor.

“Let go of me!” I managed to grate out. I couldn’t look him in the eye as I futilely tried to pull from his grip. My gaze landed on an object on the floor. A pair of objects actually. Something I had missed when I first walked in. They were white cowboy boots, blue and green gemstones adorned the sides.

Tacky!
was the thought that went through my mind. I latched onto the sight of them, trying to push the sight of the
other
right out of my head.

“Collin,” I ground out again. I squirmed in his grasp. “L
et go of me! Right now!”

“No, no…we need to talk,” he said. His
voice was shaking. I finally dragged my gaze up to his. His emotions seemed to match my own…too many to identify. “It’s not what it looks like!”

I laughed at that. It was sarcastic and sharp and it tore at my throat.

“Oh, I think it was. There’s really no way you can explain that away! I mean, what the hell?!” My voice cracked and broke.
Damnit
! I was going to cry. I desperately didn’t want to do that. Not when I realized whoever she was, she was just down the hallway. The thought made me sick and more than a little panicked.

“I just…” he started.
“I’m sorry! I’m
so
sorry! It’s just that it hit me tonight. I’m getting married in two days and then after that, I’ll never be able to be with another—”

I cut him off. “
After
that?! We’ve been together for years! We’re engaged! Our wedding is this weekend. You shouldn’t be able to be with anyone else now, you jackass!”

“I know,” he hung his head. “I just…I had too much to drink.”

“Don’t you even dare try to blame it on that!” I realized how loud, how high-pitched my voice had become. I was hit yet again with the realization we had an audience. I jerked myself backward. I was determined to get out of Collin’s grip because now, finally, the tears were starting to fall. They were gushing down, making up for lost minutes.

He didn’t let me budge.
His fingers dug into my skin. So instead of throwing myself backward again, like he’d expect me to do, I dropped my body down. I grabbed the only thing within my reach. One of those damn boots. I’m not proud to say I smacked him alongside the head with it. That act was the single most violent act of my life. In that moment, I didn’t bother to care.

He made a grunting sound at impact.
His fingers slipped from my arm and I lunged toward the door. I yanked it open, flew out and crashed into something hard.

“Hey, I’ve got ya,” Max said
as he pulled me into his arms.

“What the hell is
he
doing here?!” Collin demanded.

I felt Max tens
e as I cried into his shoulder, in the darkness of the early June night. I felt my knees give out but Max held me up, crushing me to his chest.

“I think the real question is what the hell is going on,” Max said.

“What’s going on is none of your damn business!” Collin growled at him. “Holly, get back in here so we can talk! Please!” He sounded desperate, frantic.

I shook my head without looking at him. Was he serious?! When that…that…
tramp
was still there?! The very thought set free another torrent of loud, painful sobs.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Max said.

I barely heard him over the sound of my tears.

Chapter 2

My parents tried to have a baby
for years. Nearly two decades, actually. When I finally came along, I was quite the surprise. Or so I was told. I’m sure they would’ve been much happier about my arrival if it had been ten, or even five, years earlier. Instead of being overjoyed by the miracle that was me, I think that they felt more inconvenienced than elated. By that point in her life, my mother had progressed from thoughts of baby carriages to consultations with a plastic surgeon. Baby diapers and breastfeeding were the very last thing on her mind.

They had floated through the time in their lives when raising a family was important to them. While their friends were taking extended winter vacations, my parents were tied up going to my school conferences. While their friends were becoming grandparents for the first time, I was
fretting over my first bra. Now, their friends were all checking out lavish retirement communities and my parents had finally had a reason to dip into my college fund.

There was no denying that we had a larger than average generational gap between us. Sometimes, it was
difficult to traverse, making it impossible to have a reasonable conversation. Other times, I couldn’t blame it on my parents’ ages. Unless I wrote it off as senility. Because every now and then, our conversations were flat-out foolish.

“These things, they happen,” my mother said. She settled onto a wingback chair next to where I was seated on the matching sofa. She made no attempt to make herself comfortable. She sat on the edge, her back straight and her sympathy at a minimum.

“That’s all you have to say about it? These things
happen
?” I cried. “They shouldn’t happen.”

“I didn’t say they
should
. I said they
do
.” She handed me another tissue. “You just need to hold your head high and move forward.”

“You’re not listening to me,” I pointed out. “I told you. I c
an’t do this. I can’t marry him. I don’t want to marry him.”

“Of course you do.
You’re just upset right now. That is completely understandable. But you need to think ahead. Everyone is counting on this wedding taking place. Do you know how many people have already flown in? Even if they haven’t arrived yet, airline tickets have been purchased. Gifts have been wrapped.”

“Gifts are returnable!” I argued. I wasn’t sure about flights so I didn’t go there.

“Just,” she took a breath, “just get through the next two days. You and Collin can work on things later.”

“What i
f I don’t want to work on things?”

“You have years invested in this relationship.
Do you really want to just walk away from it?”

“After last night, I don’t even know if Collin wants to marry me! Is that why he…” I burst into tears. They clearly made my mother uncomfortable. She shifted in her chair.

“Of course he wants to marry you,” Gwen declared.

My head snapped
up at the sound of Collin’s mother’s voice. She rushed into the room and took a seat next to me, immediately putting her arm around my shoulder.

“Oh,
darling, he made a terrible, terrible mistake. You have to forgive him.” Her voice was so soft, so reassuring. Or maybe I just wanted the reassurance and I latched onto it. “He’s a mess. And he should be,” she firmly replied.

“Then why isn’t he here?” I demanded.
I realized I was fidgeting with my bracelet again. I dropped my hands to my sides.

“To be honest, he wasn’t sure if you would speak to him. He didn’t want to make matters worse.”

“I don’t know how they could possibly get any worse,” I blubbered.

She was quiet for a moment and I glanced over at her. She was distorted through my tears.
I could tell she was trying to assess the situation, trying to determine how upset I really was.

“I can’t believe he sent you to talk to me. He should be here talking to me. He should be here groveling and apologizing and
begging for me to…” I faded off, knowing none of that mattered. I didn’t think I could forgive him anyway. Even still, it would’ve been the decent thing to do, making the effort.

“Don’t be silly,” she gently said. “He didn’t send me. I insisted on coming. I thought you’d be more…reasonable if you spoke with me.”

“Of course she’s being reasonable,” my mother declared.

“Does that mean, Lillian, that the wedding is still on?” She directed the question to my mother, not to me. I bristled, ready to verbally retaliate but my mother spoke first.

“The wedding is still on.”
Her answer was decisive. I slumped back into the cushions, shaking my head but no words came out. “We’ve spent months planning for this. Everything is paid for. Several of the out of town guests have already arrived. Ronald and I have been discussing this all morning. It really is the best option.”

“It would be so incredibly
rude to cancel at this point,” Gwen said softly.

She said the words to my mother but I knew that they were meant for me. I had a sickening hunch that they’d rehearsed this conversation to some extent prior to
Gwen’s arrival.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. I stood from the couch, tugging myself from
Gwen’s grip. “I’m not doing it. I’m not going through with it. If he doesn’t even have the decency to talk to me now, how are things going to be better later? No. The wedding is off.”