Diva Diaries (31 page)

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Authors: Janine A. Morris

BOOK: Diva Diaries
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66
Too Late
J
ordan hadn't called Omar since the day she hung up on him in Bloomingdale's, and he didn't call her, either. This had been the longest length of time that she hadn't reached out to him—it had been three weeks. Jason told her he stopped by his school one day for lunch. That was sweet, but it made Jordan sick how much he had tried to avoid her. Ever since she and Jayon had first slept together, her mind wasn't on what Omar was doing anymore.
Jordan was at home playing cards with Jayon when the phone rang. Jason jumped up to answer it, and because she was in the middle of kicking Jayon's butt, she let him. She heard Jason say, “Hi, Daddy.”
Jordan felt her stomach drop.
Oh shucks
, she thought to herself. The good thing was if Jason was who he wanted to speak with, that's who he got, and she didn't have to endure that awkward opening conversation. The bad thing was if Jordan was who he wanted, Jayon was there with her, and she didn't want to be rude to Jayon, either.
“I'm fine,” Jordan could hear Jason saying. Jayon also heard that it was Omar, and he just looked at Jordan. He gave her a smile, letting her know he was cool. Jayon and she had never discussed in depth what would happen if she worked things out with Omar, but she had said several times that she wasn't going to. Omar's behavior was irreparable, as far as she was concerned. She couldn't continue to be in a marriage with a man who would just walk out on her at will with no regard for her feelings.
She heard Jason rambling on about school and some of his friends that were mad at him, and his latest score in Madden 05. He talked for about five minutes about all the excitement in a six-year-old's life. Jordan and Jayon just continued their card game, paying close attention to Jason's conversation. Then, right after Jason finished his football story, she heard him say, “You want Mommy? OK, she is right here with Mr. Jay.”
Jordan froze and looked over at Jayon. Jay looked at her.
Then Jason said, “Oh, OK. I'll talk to you later—love you.” Jason hung up the phone.
“What happened?” Jordan asked Jason.
“Daddy wanted to talk to you, but then he said he would call back later.”
Damn, just my luck
, she thought. She knew Omar was pissed for more reasons than one. He finally called to speak with Jordan, and she was there with Jayon, not moping around like she was sure he thought and hoped she was. She knew he wasn't too happy that Jayon was around his son—Omar was the type to make a bigger deal out of that than it was. She would, too, but Jayon was not just some man—Jason had known Jay since he was born. Jay was like an uncle to him, so he wouldn't think anything of his presence.
Jordan could only imagine what was going through Omar's head at that very moment. A piece of her felt bad, because she knew he was mad. Then another piece of her, a bigger piece, was thinking,
the nerve of him
! Was she just supposed to sit around twiddling her thumbs until he thought enough of her one day to call her back?
This had been an emotional few months for Jordan, but she had been better lately, and now something like this had to happen. She had decided a week or so ago, that she just wanted her and Omar to be friends. She didn't know if they had to be officially divorced right away or what, but she knew that she couldn't see herself with him again. She knew that their marriage was in deep trouble, but she would never have expected this. She was still amazed at the way Omar handled things. To disappear like that was the most disrespectful thing he could have done. She would have preferred that he cheated on her, but to just walk away and completely close their lines of communication was terrible and torturous. In a sense, it was typical of him but never for that long. Besides, she had explained to him numerous times that that was the worst thing you could do in a relationship, but Omar kept doing it, and now she was handling it her way.
“You OK?” Jay asked her.
“I'm fine, just caught a little off guard.”
“I know—you haven't spoken to him since that day in the store, right?”
“Nope, that was weeks ago. I didn't expect to hear from him.”
“What do you think he wants?”
“I have no idea.”
“I do.”
“What?”
“It's make-up time,” he said teasingly.
“Yeah, OK. That's not going to happen.”
“OK, watch. I bet that's why he is calling.”
“Well, it's too late for that,” she answered.
“All right,” Jay said, like he didn't believe her.
“How would you feel if I did get back with him?” she asked.
“I'd be upset—I would probably need some time to get cool with it, but I would understand and we would still be cool.”
“So, just like that, we would go back to the way we were before?”
“No, not just like that. It would be hard, but I would understand. It's not a simple situation and I don't want to add any more stress than you are already under.”
“Thanks, Jay,” she said, “but I doubt that's going to happen. I'm cool with the way things are now.”
He reached out and took her hand. “You're a strong cookie.”
“No, I'm not. Omar has pushed me here, and I'm not trying to go back now,” she replied. “Now let's finish this game so I can beat you again,” she said, taking her hand from his and putting down a card.
 
 
In Jordan's opinion, Omar had had more than enough time to save their marriage. Instead he let his pride get in the way, and he didn't bother to work things out with her when he still could. She knew from some of their conversations that he could tell that what he had done had caused major damage to them, but not once did he apologize for or change his actions. Even though Omar didn't deserve it, and as strongly as she felt about Jayon, she still would probably have given him another chance if he'd made the right attempt. Unfortunately, Omar was too prideful to admit what he had done, and say he was sorry. Instead he wanted to be tough, and all he did was push her toward Jayon.
So he can tell Jason he will talk to me later all he wants—he doesn't realize the time he has wasted is why it's too late
, Jordan thought to herself.
67
Divas' Downfall
S
ince the new year began, Jordan, Chrasey, and Dakota had major turns in their lives, and they were all trying to maintain or get their grooves back. Chrasey found out the hard way that two wrongs don't make a right, Dakota was pregnant and was no longer feeling like the sexy diva she had been, and Jordan's marriage was practically over and she didn't know whether she was coming or going with Jayon.
It had been a few weeks since Dakota had found out that she was pregnant. She still couldn't believe that she was in her third month. Looking back, there were days when she felt really sick, but she didn't think for a second that it was possible she could be pregnant. She had gotten her period all three months, and couldn't think of any major signs that would have made her worry. She asked the doctor if the baby would be at risk, since she had consumed liquor and been around smoke in the past three months. The doctor said it was unlikely, and to just be careful for the next six months.
In the past week or so, Dakota had started to feel better about her situation. She was beginning to look at the positive side of being a mother. She would finally have somebody that would be there with her regardless—she would never be lonely again. She would have a little person to spoil and love unconditionally, and bring her a happiness that no man could take away from her. Like the doctor said, this baby was something that she had created, and it would be all hers. She hadn't really told anybody at work yet, and she still hadn't told David. She spoke to him once or twice, but she wasn't ready to tell him just yet. She told one co-worker of hers, her closest friend at work, who she could trust with a secret. She knew once everybody found out, there would be a ton of questions she wasn't ready for. She was in publicity and marketing—she knew that it would be on the local news the minute she told the first person, so she was keeping it on the low for a while.
 
 
Chrasey was wondering whether she could ever trust anything Keith told her anymore. There were many nights when she lay there, staring at Keith, wondering what was going through his mind. It was as if she thought that if she stared hard enough, she would be able to read his mind. Things had been even harder than she thought they would be. She was trying to hang in there and keep their family together, but each day was a challenge. She had family members judging her, and saying she was stupid for taking Keith back. She went to church a couple of Sundays, and Keith wouldn't come with her, and he needed it more than she did. Still, she came home from work every night and cooked and got the kids ready for bed as if things were normal. Most nights things were just fine, and then there were nights that Chrasey just came home mad. Mad at life, mad at her ruined marriage, and mad that until that child was 18 years old, Lourdes had a role in their life. She hated Keith for giving her that power, she hated Keith for forcing her to deal with it. Her only option was either to stick it out or leave him and be alone with the kids, which was equally miserable. She felt like she was in between the biggest rock and the biggest hard place.
They hadn't had sex in weeks, although Keith had hinted at it a few times. Chrasey wasn't ready for that—she knew the minute she was intimate with Keith, her mind would start to remember all the pain and anger she felt about his infidelity. She wondered if by doing this she would push him away, and possibly back toward Lourdes. She decided to do things at her pace, because when she did cater to his every need, it didn't matter anyway. He still cheated. There were times when she wondered if he would leave her, if Lourdes would win the fight after all. Maybe she was the better woman, maybe she looked better and was better in bed. Maybe life with her and one kid was a lot easier than life with Chrasey and two kids. She couldn't worry about that, though—Keith would do what he wanted to do. Chrasey had to do what she wanted to do. Keith didn't work late as much, but there was a night or two, and that felt like too much for Chrasey. He had no room for error—his freedom had been revoked. If he wanted her to forgive him, he had a lot of rebuilding to do.
Even though they were back together, Chrasey still felt lonely. She and Keith needed so much repairing. She wondered at times if it was too far gone, if there was no pot of the gold at the end of their rainbow. All she knew was she was still as she had been for the past couple of years—unhappy. She cried at least every other night, thinking about those nights that Keith was with Lourdes, and how he was there for their daughter's birth. How he could experience that again, without her, just broke her heart, and she knew she could never love Keith the same. Still, she was going to stay married to him for all the right reasons: for their kids, their vows, and for the business side of it. She also knew that she was ready to call Trevor, because deep down, her soul was empty and she needed him.
 
 
Jordan had finally spoken to Omar; she called him back later that same night when he had called. He said he had called to say hello and see how she was doing, but when he heard that her “best friend” was there, he didn't want to interrupt. He was clearly back on the defensive. Jordan couldn't understand why he was so determined to be so difficult—why didn't he see that he was losing her right before his eyes? She tried to give him a hint so that at least he would know the truth, but he wasn't getting it. She told him that things had changed between her and Jayon, and he said that didn't surprise him. She also asked him how he would feel if she started seeing Jayon; he said he would be happy it was him and not somebody else. When they got off the phone that day, Jordan was shocked that Omar had acted so calm about the Jayon news. She was also hurt that he cared so little.
Jordan knew something was strange about Omar's calm response. The very next day Omar called back. He was flipping, yelling and saying how disrespectful it was. How could she even consider seeing Jayon? It was just what he had been saying all along. Jordan's only response was that it wasn't anything like that—things were just different. She also asked him what he'd expected. He'd left her all alone for months, and told her she was free to do what she wanted. She asked why it would be wrong if she chose the person closest to her. She told him that what was wrong and disrespectful was what he did; whatever she did out of necessity or as a reaction to what he did, he couldn't argue with. Omar wasn't even trying to hear her—his only message was if she got with Jayon, he would cut her off completely.
Jordan had told Jay all that Omar said, and he said that he understood. Jay said of course he was upset. He tried to explain that even though Omar had been acting tough and like he didn't care, he still cared about her. The last thing Omar wanted to hear was that she was dealing with Jayon. Little did he know—he was a day late and a dollar short. The good thing was, as long as he let his pride keep him from getting her back, the more justified Jordan was.
Jordan, Dakota, and Chrasey had all been through enough in their lives that they knew that they would also overcome these obstacles. They were small, in theory. Chrasey was married fairly young and had years of financial struggle and stress, and she overcame that. Dakota had dealt with abusive relationships, abortions, and unfaithful men, and she overcame it all. Jordan juggled law school, being a mother and wife, and working full-time, and she overcame that. They may have been at the bottom of their games, but they knew soon they would rise above it all, and before they knew it they would be back in all their diva glory.

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