Diva Diaries (30 page)

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Authors: Janine A. Morris

BOOK: Diva Diaries
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63
Back to Business
W
hen Jordan got to the office Monday morning, she was hoping to beat Jay in so he would have to come in to her when he got in. When she got off the elevator, she peeked down the hall and his door was still closed. She knew he was probably right behind her, because Jayon was rarely late for work. She scurried into her office, with her Starbucks white chocolate milk and vanilla-almond triscottis in one hand, and her briefcase and purse in the other. She managed to get the door open, and plopped her stuff down on the couch by the door. She had clients scheduled to be in by 9:30, so she had to get herself together.
By the time she signed on to her computer, she heard Jayon's voice saying good morning to the receptionist. She didn't do anything more for a few seconds, and she thought maybe he headed to his office. Then he popped up in her doorway. She looked up at him and instantly started blushing. He walked over to her and leaned over to give her a kiss on the lips. She obliged.
He placed a Starbucks bag on her desk.
“It looks like I wasted my time,” he said.
Jordan looked in the bag; it was a white chocolate milk and vanilla-almond triscottis.
“Aww, thank you, Jay ... but yeah, I had time to stop this morning. Give it to Jackie,” she said.
“OK.”
“But thanks—you're so sweet.”
“No prob,” he replied.
It fell silent for a few seconds. It was her fear that she and Jayon wouldn't be able to act the same way around each other. They wouldn't be able to talk to each other normally.
“I have some clients coming in soon so I have to get some work done real fast—I'll come down to your office in a few,” Jordan said, trying to end the awkward moment.
“OK, I'm stepping out at 2:00 today and I won't be back in the office until later,” he said as he walked toward the door.
“Where you going at 2:00?”
“I have a few appointments and some things to do.”
“OK, I'll be down there about 11:00 or so,” she answered.
He walked out of the office and she went back to work. She wasn't sure what the next few days or weeks would be like with her and Jayon but she had confidence it would be fine. They talked very little after they finished having sex that night—it was too awkward and she was too emotional. He stayed over, and the next morning when they woke up he told her he hoped that she didn't do anything she didn't want to, and he was sorry if he did anything wrong. She assured him that it was nothing that he did, and then he began to inquire if it had to do with Omar. She told him Omar didn't care what she was doing; she couldn't worry about what would happen if he began to care. He understood her answer and he left it at that. They had talked about absent Omar enough, and she had told him it was about her from now on. When he left that day he hugged her very tight and said that he loved her and last night meant more to him than she could know.
Jordan wondered if this was a mistake. She wondered if this was all to have control of something again, since Omar had taken so much of her control away. Omar had hurt her, and she knew that, but she wondered if her decision to sleep with Jayon somewhere in her subconscious was her way to hurt Omar back. She could have chosen any man in New York, but she chose Jayon. Sure, she loved him, and sure, he was attractive, and they had a history and she trusted him, so why not him? Still, Jordan knew that there was something more to her decision, and she just hoped she'd made the right one.
Jordan and Jayon had spoken once or twice the day before, but they were both running around and didn't get a chance to have a real conversation. So today was the first day of real interaction after Jordan had broken the emergency glass. She was sitting there typing up some notes, and an instant message popped up on her screen. It was an icon of a man and woman in bed having sex. It was sent from Jay88, which was Jayon's instant message name.
“I don't know about you, but I had fun. I have no regrets and I'm ready for the next time,” it read.
A big smile came across Jordan's face.
“LOL. No regrets, either—I also had fun and I'm looking forward to the next time,” she wrote back.
“I'll be at your house later,” he wrote.
Jayon is a mess
, Jordan thought to herself. He knew Jordan well enough to know the initial conversation would be uncomfortable, so he made it easy on her. That's why she loved that guy—he knew just what she needed and when. He had her all figured out.
Jordan met with her clients, Jayon stopped in and gave her a kiss good-bye before he headed out at 2:00, and the rest of the day went by real fast. She left the office about 6:00 and headed home to shower and get ready for Jayon.
64
Beauty of Life
“
T
his is is something that you created—this will be your unique little person and it will belong to you,” the doctor said to Tony and Dakota. She held on to Tony's hand as she listened to the doctor explain what their options were and what to keep in mind.
Dakota wasn't sure what Tony was feeling, but she knew what she was thinking. They had left things pretty much up in the air so far, with their only plan to come see the doctor together. When the doctor said
this is something you created
, Tony and Dakota looked into each other's eyes, and she felt a little tingle.
On the drive home, Dakota realized that she was becoming more confident that she wanted to keep the baby. She knew that it was risky, because she and Tony had a very unstable relationship. She also knew that she wasn't ready to be a mother and give up her freedom. However, she had already been wishfully thinking that maybe this would get Tony to decide to finally be with her. She also knew that although she wasn't ready to be a mother, she kind of liked the idea of adding some more purpose to her life.
As soon as they got back to Dakota's condo, Tony sat on the couch without turning the TV on. On the ride home, they barely talked, and all he asked her regarding the doctor's visit was,
Are you OK
? It was evident, though, that he had a lot on his mind, just like Dakota did.
“Are you OK?” Dakota asked him this time.
“I'm fine,” Tony said, as Dakota expected he would.
“No, really. What's wrong?”
“I'm just thinking, that's all.”
“I know—it's been an emotional day.”
“Yeah, it has,” he replied.
“Listen, Tone, what do you want me to do?”
“Dakota, I want you to do whatever you want to do. It's your body, and I really mean that.”
Dakota believed him when he said that. For once she took his words at face value. They'd had a talk before about this as a hypothetical situation, and he'd said that he would be supportive either way. A piece of Dakota wanted to hear him say that he wanted her to keep it, but she knew he probably didn't and he wouldn't want to pressure her either way. Really she was just happy that he didn't make her feel like one of those girls on the Maury Povich talk-show, and request paternity testing. He was taking her word for it, and that was the best feeling of all.
“Well, I'm going to keep it,” she blurted out.
Tony snapped his neck toward her real fast and looked at her, very surprised.
“You are?”
“Yeah.”
“When did you decide that?”
“Well, I've been considering it—I really thought hard about it on the way home and I think I've made up my mind.”
Tony looked kind of shocked.
“OK, that's fine by me. I'll support whatever decision you make.”
“Well, there's the decision.”
“OK.”
 
 
Dakota was sitting on one end of the couch, Tony on the other. There was an awkward silence. After a few seconds, as if he finally realized it was the right thing to do, he scooted over and put his arm around Dakota.
“Everything will be just fine,” he said.
Dakota rested her head and his shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered. She was an emotional wreck, and had been trying to stay strong over the past few days.
“I'm sorry,” he said.
“For what?” she asked.
“For not being very sensitive to the situation and for walking out the day you told me.”
“It's OK—I understand why you walked out that day. It was kind of foul, but I knew it wasn't cool that I was telling you I wasn't sure who the father was.”
“I hope this doesn't come off crazy, but who else did you think it was?”
Dakota couldn't believe he'd asked that. Tony wasn't supposed to ever care. It was a silent rule. She had actually wished that he did care; she just wished that this wasn't the time that he chose to do it.
“I thought it was yours, but in the past few months I slept with one other person,” she said, feeling a tad awkward admitting it. She wasn't telling the whole truth—she had actually slept with two or three people, but she didn't want to tell him all of that—she would have sounded like a cheap whore.
“Mmm,” he replied. “Who was this dude?” he asked.
“Just this guy that I had been seeing on and off for a couple of years, and when me and you were on the rocks.”
“So, question ... which one of us were you wishing was the father?”
Dakota was under attack and was unprepared for battle. She didn't know why he was asking these questions and what it was he wanted to hear.
“I wanted you to be the father, but I knew that he would have wanted to be the father more than you would have.”
“What does that mean?”
“I knew that he would have been more excited about it than you, but I was hoping that it was yours.”
“That's not the case. I am excited ... and why is it that you wanted it to be mine then, if you thought he'd be happier about it?”
“Because I want you in my life, I care a lot about you, and if I had to raise a child, I wanted it to be with you.”
Tony seemed to like her answer—at least, that's how Dakota took it. He had tightened his grip around Dakota, giving her a much-needed hug.
For the first time in a long time, Dakota felt happy with Tony. Not only because he seemed to be happy that the baby was his, but because he had opened dialogue with her in a way that he never had before. She felt a warmth that she'd yearned for when he held her in his arms. She actually did believe that everything was going to be all right.
That remained to be seen.
65
Lordy Lordy Lourdes
C
hrasey was sitting in her bedroom, folding clothes and watching a Lifetime movie. The kids were in their room watching a Disney movie, and Keith was downstairs watching football. It felt like a typical evening at home, and it was close to bedtime for everyone.
About 10:15 the phone rang, and Chrasey picked it up. After a few questions back and forth, it became evident that it was Lourdes. Now the homewrecker wanted to talk.
“What do you want?” Chrasey asked.
“Can I speak to Keith, please?”
“No, you can't. What do you want with my husband?”
“Please ... your husband? He is just as much mine as he is yours.”
As curious as she was to hear what Lourdes had to say, now that she was talking, Chrasey refused to give her the satisfaction.
“Oh, now you want to give information? ... Hold on.” Chrasey hung up. She never did like the way Lourdes put her on hold that night and never came back. Payback was a mother.
A few seconds later, Lourdes called back. “I have just as much right to him as you do. Now, let me speak to him,” Lourdes shouted in the phone.
That's when Chrasey blew up. “Really? How do you figure? Because you opened up your pussy and this time something came out?”
“Whatever—where is he?”
“Don't call my house again, bitch,” Chrasey said and she hung up.
Of course, she called right back.
“What do you want, Lourdes?” Chrasey shouted into the phone.
“I want to speak to Keith—he was supposed to bring something by here for our daughter, and this has nothing to do with you.”
“Really, you think so? EVERYTHING that Keith does has to do with me, and if you have a problem with that you might as well remember that your child is a bastard.”
“Whatever, bitch—my child has a father. Your husband. He is by here all the time and my daughter knows her father.”
At first, Chrasey was pissed hearing he was by there often, but then she realized she had to be lying or exaggerating because she couldn't think of but one or two nights that Keith hadn't been home.
“In your fantasy world where he is your husband, right? Well, he is downstairs with his children, at his house with his family like he is every night, so you're just going to have to figure something out.”
“I'll call his cell phone.”
“Obviously he isn't picking up for you, or you wouldn't have been so stupid to call my house ... and I advise you not to call here again or you're going to come home one day and find me on your doorstep ... I'm sorry, I mean
building lobby
, you ghetto rat.”
Click
. Chrasey slammed the phone down on her. She went straight downstairs to the living room where Keith was chilling with his beer, watching ESPN. The phone had rung a few seconds after Chrasey walked out of the bedroom, but she was done talking to that tramp. She stood in front of Keith and said in an obviously unhappy tone, “You need to control your hos.”
“What are you talking about?” he said, sounding a little nervous.
“Lourdes just called here for you, and if you don't check that right away, you will be living in Brooklyn with her. I don't want her calling my house.”
“I'm sorry about that, Chrasey ... what did she want?”
“I don't know—she said you were supposed to go out there tonight. Is that true?”
“No, I've been here all night.”
“Well, she seems to be waiting on you ... and is it true that you're out there all the time?”
“Chrasey, when? I'm here all the time unless I'm at work—she is just trying to make you angry because she lost.”
“What do you mean, lost?”
“Chrasey, she has been threatening me all this time that if I didn't spend time with her or leave you she would call here and tell you all about the baby. I didn't want you to find out that way but I was scared to tell you, so I would try to appease her. But now that you know and we are working out our marriage, she is pissed. She wanted me to leave you for her.”
“And you told her you would?”
“No, I just tried to appease her. But now I don't have to anymore and she has lost the little power that she had ... but I'm sorry to put you in the middle of this.”
“How did you appease her?”
“I stayed with her some nights while me and you were split up, and I did make some promises to her, but they were empty promises, just to buy me time until I could find a way to tell you.”
“You were never going to tell me, Keith.”
“I was—I just needed time.”
Chrasey was pissed off. No wonder this woman was talking about him being her husband, too—Keith had been filling her head with nonsense. She didn't even know if she could believe Keith. Who was to say he wasn't still lying and giving her empty promises, too.
“Well, I will assume that since you no longer have to appease her, you won't be over there anymore.”
“No, I won't be.”
“Well, call your other wife and let her know to stop calling my house.”
Chrasey walked upstairs. She didn't even want to continue the conversation because it was useless—she didn't even know if she believed the things he said.

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