Divided Loyalties (50 page)

‘You know Greg. He’s good at getting his own way.’

‘Shauna, this isn’t about Greg or what he wants. It’s about you and don’t forget that,’ Carrie said firmly.

‘I won’t. But thanks for the advice.’ Shauna picked up her bag and car keys and walked slowly downstairs. She was sick to her stomach and had only managed to eat a slice of
toast for her breakfast. Butterflies as big as bats fluttered inside her. She felt more lonely, apprehensive and unsure than she ever had in her entire life. But she couldn’t fall apart. She
needed to be strong for herself and Chloe.

The Friday traffic was heavy. Greg had sent her a terse text telling her to get in touch by midday or he was booking his flight. She’d sent an equally terse text back telling him that
she’d see him at two o’clock in Malahide.

By the time she pulled up into her own driveway she had managed to regain some of her poise. Why should
she
be nervous? It was Greg who should be shaking in his boots after what
he’d done, she told herself grimly as she inserted her key in the front door.

Greg was in the kitchen eating a mushroom and cheese omelette that he’d cooked for his lunch. The sight of it infuriated her. How dare he be able to eat after what he’d done?
Didn’t it bother him in the slightest?

‘What sort of bollox are you?’ she demanded. ‘How can you even think of eating? Aren’t you sick to your stomach like I am or do you not give a damn?’

‘For fuck’s sake, Shauna, don’t start,’ Greg blustered, taken aback by her onslaught.

‘What do you mean, don’t start? I’ve every right to start. Why did you do that to me? Have you no feelings for me? Have you no respect for me? Didn’t I count for
anything? Why did you let me go through torment month after month? How could you watch me in tears when I’d get my period when you knew there was no chance of me conceiving?’ She was
shouting at him. She wanted to batter him.

‘I wanted to tell you,’ he muttered. ‘I wanted to tell you in Paris but I lost my nerve.’

‘How could you do it, Greg? How could you go behind my back like that?’ She stared at him, trying to find some hint of regret in his eyes that would give her some crumb of
comfort.

‘Because you wouldn’t
listen
to me,’ he roared. ‘I told you over and
over
that I didn’t want another baby but you kept on and
on
at me.
You talk about counting for anything. Well,
I
counted for nothing.
My
wishes counted for nothing.
You
wanted a baby come hell or high water, no matter what I said. How do
you think that made
me
feel?’

‘I wanted a brother or sister for Chloe,’ she shrieked. ‘I didn’t want her to be an only child. I wanted us to be a proper family like Carrie and Dan’s.’

‘Aw yeah, throw the bloody Waltons in my face again. I’m fed up to the back teeth hearing how perfect they are. Do you know how hard it is to live with someone you can’t
satisfy no matter what you do? Do you have any idea how hard I work? And why do I kill myself working? I kill myself working trying to provide a better than average lifestyle for you and Chloe. But
do I get any thanks for it? No bloody way. I just get the fucking Waltons thrown up in my face. Sometimes I wonder why the hell you married me.’ Greg was puce with anger.

‘Stop using work as an excuse,’ she raged, incensed. ‘That’s
your
choice, not Chloe’s or mine. She hardly sees you anyway; it won’t make much
difference to her whether we split or not.’

‘Well then, I might as well go back to Abu Dhabi and get on with my life. You two don’t need me,’ he said sulkily.

‘Oh, typical, feel sorry for yourself now. You’ve no business feeling sorry for yourself.
I’m
the one who should be feeling sorry for herself, you bastard.’

‘Is that so?’ he sneered. ‘You’ve a big apartment in the Gulf. A big detached house in Dublin. Your
caravan
. More jewellery and clothes than any other woman I
know. Your own credit card. Oh yes . . . you’ve a lot to feel sorry about.’

Her slap reddened his jaw and brought a flash of temper to his eyes. He grabbed her wrist. ‘Don’t ever do that again or you might get one back,’ he said furiously.

She pulled her wrist away. ‘You go back to Abu Dhabi. I’m staying here with Chloe for a while until I decide what I want to do.’

‘What about school?’ he snapped.

‘Oh, don’t pretend you’re concerned about her schooling,’ she scoffed. ‘That’s never worried you before.’

‘She’s my daughter. I have a right to make decisions concerning her,’ Greg retorted.

‘If I bring you to court after what you’ve done to me you’ll have no bloody rights at all, mister,’ Shauna shot back.

Greg paled. He didn’t like the sound of that.

‘Oh yes, I could play very dirty, Greg Cassidy. I know you’ve got your little secret accounts stashed away here and there. You probably even have properties that I don’t know
about, but Gina Andrews hired a very
thorough
forensic accountant for her divorce and she took Walter to the cleaners. He hadn’t a chance by the time that accountant had gone through
his cash and assets with a fine-tooth comb. Fortunately Gina and I have kept in touch . . .’ She stared him down.

‘What do you want to do?’ He scowled.

‘Carrie’s going to see if she can get Chloe into the village school. I think it’s best for her. She needs some stability in her life. Filomena’s gone, Carly’s gone,
we’re the way we are. At least she’ll have her cousins.’

‘I want to see her before I go,’ he muttered.

‘Fine. I’ll bring her over. Text me and let me know when you’re leaving.’ She turned on her heel and left him staring after her in fury.

She was on a high as she drove out of the cul-de-sac. She’d said her piece and taken control. She’d told him what to do for a change. She smiled grimly, remembering how he had paled
at her threat to bring him to court. She’d use that to keep him in check. If he could play dirty having a vasectomy behind her back, she could play dirty too. The knowledge gave her strength.
In the next few weeks . . . or months . . . she’d make a decision about her future. And this time it would be on her terms.

Greg sat at the computer checking out flights to the Emirates. He was completely rattled. He wasn’t used to Shauna being assertive. It was extremely disconcerting. Her
threat to go to court was hugely unnerving. Forensic accountants were seriously lethal and seriously expensive. She had him by the balls. She could possibly sue him for lessening her chances of
having a baby, or some such charge, as well. His photograph would be plastered all over the papers. He’d never be able to hold his head up in Ireland again. He’d be a laughing stock
among his Irish business colleagues.
And
she really could take him to the cleaners. He’d better tread warily and not antagonize her, he decided morosely, as he keyed in his credit
card number and booked the first available flight he could find. The sooner he got out of this bloody country the better.

‘How would you like to stay in Ireland for a while and go to Olivia and Davey’s school?’ Shauna slipped her arm round her daughter’s waist and drew her
close.

Chloe looked at her, puzzled.

‘Well, you know the way Filomena isn’t coming back to us any more and Carly’s gone to live in America? Wouldn’t it be nice to stay here with Carrie and your cousins just
to see how it goes, and maybe live in Ireland all the time?’ Shauna explained patiently.

‘Can we live in the mobile?’

‘Well, for a little while, anyway, until I sort things out.’ Shauna smiled.

‘Wow, Mom, that would be cool. I really like this place. I don’t want to go back to Abu Dhabi,’ her daughter enthused.

‘Dad will have to go back to work,’ Shauna said hesitantly.

‘Poor Dad,’ Chloe said matter-of-factly. ‘Will I be getting a new school uniform like Olivia’s?’

‘Yes.’ Shauna nodded, relieved but saddened at her daughter’s lack of concern for Greg.

‘Great. I
loovve
the red dickie bow. It’s cool.’ Chloe was thrilled. ‘When can I go?’

‘Tomorrow. Carrie checked it out for me this morning. Would you like to start tomorrow?’

‘You bet, Mom. They play great games in the yard,’ Chloe confided.

‘Do they?’

‘Yeah. They play Queenie I O Who Has The Ball, and everything.’

‘That sounds fantastic.’ Shauna hugged her. ‘Now listen. We’ve to go to Malahide and say goodbye to Dad and get some clothes and things.’

‘OK. Can I bring my music box back? I want to show it to my new teacher.’

‘Sure,’ Shauna agreed. ‘Let’s get ready to go.’

We’re on our way. Act normally
, she texted Greg.

I will if you will
, came the curt response.

‘Daddy, Daddy, I’m going to Olivia’s school and I’m getting a new uniform.’ Chloe raced in the front door half an hour later, full of her
news.

‘Are you?’ He swept her up in his arms.

‘I’m getting a dickie bow,’ she informed him proudly.

‘Well you’ll just have to get Mom to take some photos and email them to me,’ he said, kissing the top of her head and looking at Shauna.

‘We’ll do that,’ Shauna said lightly. ‘Won’t we, Chloe? And we’ll email every week.’

‘Better than nothing, I suppose,’ Greg said bitterly.

Shauna flashed him a warning look. ‘Have you called a taxi?’

‘Yes. I’m flying to Heathrow and getting the red-eye from there. What will I tell people when I get home?’

‘Darling, run up and get your music box.’ Shauna smiled at their daughter. ‘Tell them whatever you want, I don’t care,’ she said tonelessly when Chloe was gone from
the room.

‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ he demanded.

‘I don’t know what I want. But I know I need time to think and I need time away from you,’ Shauna said curtly.

‘Fine.’ Greg flicked a piece of lint off his expensive grey suit. ‘I’ll be in touch.’

Shauna said nothing.

‘I’m going up to say goodbye to Chloe,’ he said brusquely, brushing past her.

‘Right.’

She heard him run up the stairs and tried not to feel guilty. Was she being totally selfish? she wondered. Would it not have been better to go back with Greg and get Chloe settled back in school
and try to work things out in Abu Dhabi?

You’re only staying for a while until you get over the shock and sort things out in your head
, she argued with herself as the taxi beeped outside.

‘The taxi’s here,’ she called.

Moments later Greg came down the stairs followed by Chloe, clutching her music box.

‘’Bye, honeybunch,’ he said gruffly. ‘Be a good girl for Mom.’

‘I will, Dad,’ she assured him, looking up at him with her big blue eyes.

‘See you,’ he said to Shauna.

‘’Bye,’ she murmured, stepping aside to let him out the door.

‘Dad, Dad.’ Chloe ran after him. ‘I forgot. I brought you this. It’s a stone with an angel in it. Carrie bought it for me but you can have it to mind you.’ She
thrust a grey stone with the shape of a small white angel imprinted in it into his hand.

‘That’s really kind, darling. Thank you.’ Greg took it from her and slipped it into his pocket. He couldn’t believe how touched he felt by her little act of kindness.
‘I love you, Chloe,’ he said. ‘And Shauna . . . I’m sorry.’ He climbed into the taxi and closed the door.

Shauna watched it leave and didn’t know whether she was on her head or her heels.

Shauna watched the For Sale sign being erected beside her big wooden electronic gates and felt a huge sense of relief. The past weeks had been a nightmare. She’d been
commuting between Whiteshells Bay and Malahide and feeling ever more unsettled as the days went by. The only positive aspect to the whole sorry situation was how well Chloe had settled into her new
school. She was making new friends and really coming out of her shell, and the security of having her cousins near was a huge plus for her.

Shauna felt like a nomad. She’d hated going back to the house in Malahide. She knew she was going to have to tell the neighbours about her split with Greg. She’d told them that she
was staying in Ireland until after Christmas. She’d used Noel’s health as an excuse. They expected her to be her usual, social, bubbly self, and she was finding it hard going keeping up
the facade.

She knew she couldn’t keep going in the limbo she was in. It wasn’t feasible to spend the winter in the mobile home and the thought of driving to and fro up the M1 daunted her. One
morning she’d woken up and decided enough was enough. She needed to move nearer to Whiteshells Bay and she wanted to leave her house in Malahide and get away from the claustrophobia she was
feeling surrounded by her neighbours in the cul-de-sac. They were always popping in for coffee, or inviting her into their houses, and she just wanted to be on her own.

She’d seen new apartments nearing the end of construction along the coast road at the edge of Whiteshells Bay and had gone to view them when they were launched. Without even asking Greg,
she’d impulsively paid a booking deposit for the penthouse. It was even bigger than the apartment in Abu Dhabi and had huge wraparound balconies that gave panoramic views all along the east
coast. It had three bedrooms, two with en suite, two reception rooms and a study, and a state-of-the-art kitchen that had Carrie pea green with envy.

‘I’ll move in with you,’ she’d teased as she wandered around the light-filled airy rooms with her sister.

‘Do you think I should buy?’ Shauna felt strangely exhilarated at the prospect of a fresh start.

‘I think it would be a good move for you,’ Carrie said slowly. ‘If you and Greg do get back together, you still have a home in Ireland. And if you don’t, it will be your
and Chloe’s home for as long as you decide to live here.’

‘We’re staying here until she’s finished primary school at least. She deserves that much stability,’ Shauna had said firmly, taking out her chequebook.

‘Aren’t you going to ring Greg and discuss it with him?’ Carrie asked hesitantly.