Authors: Patricia Scanlan
Greg was ashen-faced, squinting painfully against the glare when they emerged into the sunlight. He and Billy were truly the worse for wear after their night on the tiles and Shauna was glad
she’d insisted on taking her car instead of Carrie’s. At least she wouldn’t have to drive back to Dublin with a surly, grumpy, hungover husband.
Ten minutes later they were on the road again. ‘Thank God we had breakfast,’ Shauna remarked as she slid into the funeral cortege. ‘They never even offered us a cup of tea.
They haven’t a clue.’
‘Are they having a meal after the cremation?’ Carrie yawned. She and Dan had made love twice last night and talked until all hours, and after her early start she was ready to fall
asleep.
‘Don’t you dare go asleep on me,’ Shauna warned. ‘Greg does that all the time when I’m driving and I hate it.’
‘Yes, boss!’ Carrie said dryly.
‘I think there’s something laid on in a local pub. I’ll be surprised if it’s a full meal,’ Shauna said as they slowed down to let an ambulance pass by.
‘Very warm welcome from Della. She was shooting daggers at us from under the Hat. It looks more like a flying saucer,’ Carrie observed with a grin.
‘You’re awful.’ Shauna laughed. ‘God, Carrie, I never hated her as much as I did when I saw that she was pregnant,’ she confessed. ‘It’s so unfair.
I’m horrible, aren’t I?’ She glanced ruefully at her sister.
‘No you’re not,’ Carrie assured her. ‘It’s a bit like when someone you really don’t like loses loads of weight and it really gets to you . . . only
worse.’
‘
Exactly
.’ Shauna nodded. ‘At least she looks like a blimp!’
‘A big
orange
blimp,’ Carrie emphasized and the pair of them guffawed.
Greg drove over a pothole and cursed long and loudly as his head took off like a rocket. Little red devils danced behind his eyelids and he felt decidedly queasy. What on earth
had possessed him to drink poitin? He wished this damn funeral was over and he could get out to the Gulf and back to work.
What bloody bad luck that his grandmother’s timing was lousy, he thought sourly. He’d been riddled with guilt when Shauna had laid eyes on Della and seen that she was heavily
pregnant. He could well imagine how his wife was feeling. Every time she got her period there were tears. It was doing his head in. Why the hell hadn’t he confessed to her in Paris that
he’d had the vasectomy? They’d have got over it and moved on. But he could never tell her now. She’d never forgive him for the misery she’d endured this past year.
Greg glanced in his rear-view mirror and saw that Carrie and Shauna were laughing. That was a relief. He was glad that she was driving with her sister. It took the pressure off him.
‘You look very nice, Shauna,’ Joanna Cassidy murmured as she air-kissed her daughter-in-law outside the crematorium. ‘Thank you for staying for the funeral. I
know that Greg’s anxious to get back to the Gulf. Mother mucked us all up. I was having a great time in Rome.’
‘That’s unfortunate,’ Shauna murmured, amazed at her mother-in-law’s lack of emotion as she stood watching her mother’s coffin being lifted from the hearse. Joanna
Cassidy really
was
a cool customer. No wonder Della and Greg were so self-obsessed. Joanna had no time for her children just as she’d no time for her mother. The only person Joanna
was interested in was herself. She was a slender twig of a woman with chestnut hair liberally streaked with grey, which she wore in a plait. She favoured floaty chiffons and today was dressed in a
long, flowing, mint green dress with a white crochet cardigan and cloche cap. She didn’t believe in wearing black to funerals. It wasn’t her colour.
Shauna watched her flitting here and there, between the mourners, and thought of her own warm-hearted, cuddly mother who had enveloped her children in an endless flow of love and tenderness. She
felt a sudden pang for Greg. He’d never known a mother’s love as she had. She tucked her arm in his and smiled at him. He managed a small smile back and squeezed her hand. It was
obvious he was still under the weather. The sooner they got home the sooner he could go for a sleep and recover, she thought kindly.
‘Sorry for your trouble,’ she heard a familiar, deep voice say and looked up to see Dan, hand outstretched, in front of them.
‘Thanks, Dan,’ Greg mumbled, shaking hands.
‘You’re very good for coming, Dan,’ Shauna said warmly. ‘We weren’t expecting you.’
‘No problem.’ Dan smiled at her as he dropped an arm round Carrie’s shoulder and followed the rest of the mourners into the crematorium.
‘There’s something comforting about a church funeral. The crematorium’s a bit clinical, isn’t it?’ Gwen remarked an hour later as they sat in a local pub, eating
limp ham sandwiches and drinking watery, lumpy tomato soup.
‘I suppose it depends on what you like personally. Carrie’s going to fling me onto the compost heap in Five Acre Field and say a few prayers over me,’ Dan teased.
‘You’ll be lucky to get the prayers,’ Carrie retorted fondly.
‘How’s the head?’ Gwen asked Greg, who was sipping a spritzer.
‘Improving,’ he said dryly.
‘That will teach the pair of you,’ she chuckled, winking at her husband.
‘It was good while it lasted,’ Billy informed her. ‘Wasn’t it, Greg?’
‘I mightn’t go that far,’ the other man grimaced and they all laughed.
Della glanced over to the corner where Shauna and her gang were sitting laughing. The cheek of them, she thought furiously. Laughing at her grandmother’s funeral. Had
they no sense of decorum?
She’d felt the old familiar envy, bitterness and intense dislike when she’d seen Shauna looking like a Paris model at the funeral parlour. Even Carrie looked smart. How she’d
cursed her bulk, which couldn’t have been disguised no matter what she’d worn. The gloves were making her hands sweat and the hat was giving her a headache but they were staying firmly
in place, even in the dark pub.
‘Everything seems to be going fine, doesn’t it?’ her mother murmured, nibbling a ham sandwich that was curling at the edges.
‘Yeah,’ Della said heavily. Her feet were killing her in her high heels and her sciatic nerve was giving her hell. She wished it was all over and she was at home. She felt very down
in the dumps.
‘Shauna looks very well as usual,’ Joanna remarked, looking over to where her son and daughter-in-law sat.
‘Why wouldn’t she, with all her money?’ Della snapped.
‘Don’t be like that, Della. Money isn’t everything,’ her mother reproached her. ‘She probably looks at you with envy.’
‘Me!’ Della snorted. ‘Don’t be
ridiculous.
’
‘I’m not being ridiculous,’ her mother said hotly, annoyed at her daughter’s derisive tone. ‘There you are, seven months gone with your third child and she’s
been trying for over a year to get pregnant, so she told me during the summer, when they called to visit.’
‘What!’ Della’s nose wrinkled in disbelief. ‘I’m afraid you’re barking up the wrong tree there, Mum. Greg’s had the snip. He said so last
night.’
‘Impossible,’ Joanna retorted. ‘I caught Shauna crying in the garden because her period had arrived. That’s when she told me they were trying for another baby. Maybe he
had it reversed or something.’
Della’s brow furrowed in a frown.
‘Oh look, there’s Frannie Williams, Mother’s last home help. How nice of her to come. She even used to visit her in the nursing home. I should go and say hello.’ Joanna
stood up and drifted off in a cloud of floating layers, leaving Della staring after her.
Greg had
definitely
said that he’d had the snip and that it was a doddle. She’d heard him with her own two ears. Now her mother was telling her that she’d caught
Shauna bawling because her period had arrived. How could that be? She looked over at her brother, deep in conversation with Billy. Greg made no secret of his dislike of kids. She vaguely remembered
him once saying that one was more than enough. Her eyes widened. He hadn’t had the snip without telling Shauna, surely? Or had he?
It was
exactly
the kind of thing her darling brother would do, she thought with a sudden sure knowledge. Excitement raced through her. She’d always sworn that she’d get even
with those bitches. Maybe the moment was at hand. What was the old saying about revenge being a dish best served cold? This dish was so cold it was icy, she thought malevolently as she stood up
from the table and moved with heavy, determined steps and a bright gleam of anticipation in her beady little eyes to where Shauna and Carrie were sitting.
‘Thank you all so much for coming to Gran’s funeral. We appreciate it, don’t we, Greg?’ Della cooed sweetly to the group sitting round the table.
‘You’re welcome,’ Carrie murmured. Shauna remained silent. She was family. She didn’t need her sister-in-law thanking her for coming to Greg’s grandmother’s
funeral.
‘I hope we didn’t put you out, having to stay the few days extra.’ Della turned to Shauna as though nothing untoward had ever happened between them. Shauna was gobsmacked. She
wasn’t expecting this friendly display at all.
‘It’s fine,’ she said politely. ‘Chloe’s delighted to be off school for a few more days.’
‘I decided to leave Kathryn in school today. I don’t think funerals are any place for children. Unfortunately I had to bring this one,’ she chuckled, patting her bump.
‘When’s the baby due?’ Carrie asked, feeling she had to make some effort.
‘Late November, just in time for Christmas.’ Della’s heart was thumping. This was her chance. She took a deep breath and turned to Greg. ‘And after that, I think
I’ll be trying to persuade Eddie to get the snip, like you did. How did you persuade him to have a vasectomy, Shauna? Give me a few tips.’ She smirked at her sister-in-law.
‘
Sorry?
’ Shauna looked flummoxed.
‘The snip. How did you persuade Gr—’
‘Shut up, Della, and don’t be talking nonsense!’ Greg snapped, his eyes registering dismay at her words.
‘What do you mean, don’t be talking nonsense?
You
were telling us about it yesterday.’ Della pretended puzzlement.
‘I vaguely remember you saying something about running scared – or was it
scarred
– for a few weeks afterwards. I’m surprised you were able to run at all,’
Billy chortled, highly amused at his little joke.
Shauna looked stricken, but no-one except Della was looking at her. They were all looking at Greg, who had gone a dull red from his neck to his hairline.
Bingo! Good enough for you
, Della thought triumphantly as she saw her sister-in-law swallow hard and turn pale under her tan. An uneasy silence descended on the group as they looked at
each other, wondering if this was a joke.
‘I should circulate,’ Della said airily. ‘Nice talking to you all.’ She directed a malevolent gaze at Shauna. ‘Safe journey back to the Emirates.’ She moved
away, absolutely satisfied that she had dropped a bombshell from which Shauna might never recover.
Shauna felt as though she was hearing Della’s voice from a long distance. She couldn’t take her eyes off Greg. He wouldn’t look at her. Fear engulfed her. Her stomach twisted
in knots. Della was right. Greg had had a vasectomy and she’d found out about it and had deliberately come over to them and manipulated the conversation so that she could reveal his secret.
She
knew
that Shauna didn’t know. She
knew
that this would destroy Shauna’s marriage. Della had got her own back in the vilest way possible.
She took a deep breath. ‘It’s true, Greg, isn’t it? You had a vasectomy,’ she said quietly. Billy and Gwen looked horrified. Dan was stony-faced. Carrie was stunned.
Shauna didn’t even notice them. All she could see was Greg and how he wouldn’t meet her gaze.
‘We’ll talk about it later,’ he muttered.
‘When?’ she demanded. ‘When did you have it?’
‘Last year when you came home,’ he growled.
‘You
bastard
, Greg.’ Carrie couldn’t contain herself. ‘How
could
you? Have you any idea what you’ve put Shauna through?’
Shauna stood up. ‘Carrie, let’s go home,’ she said shakily. She walked out of the pub, trembling, followed by her sister.
Della watched her go, well pleased. If Greg tackled her about it she’d plead innocence. How was she to know that he’d gone behind Shauna’s back and had the operation? He
wouldn’t be able to argue with that. Win win! she thought viciously, feeling not the slightest twinge of regret or guilt for the anguish she had caused.
‘That was low, Greg,’ Dan said grimly as he stood up to leave.
‘Mind your own business,’ Greg retorted angrily.
‘Shauna
is
my business and I should knock your block off,’ Dan said tersely. He strode out of the pub leaving Greg sitting with Billy and Gwen.
‘I think it’s time we left too,’ Gwen said icily.
‘Sorry, mate,’ Billy muttered uncomfortably, knowing his big mouth had got Greg deeper in trouble. He had a sneaking sympathy for him. He got up and followed his wife.
Greg gulped his drink, sitting alone at the table. It seemed he was a pariah. Even if it meant the end of his marriage, it was a massive relief to have his secret out in the open. It had been a
heavy burden to carry all these months. He cringed as he remembered the way Shauna had looked at him, wounded to her core.
His head throbbed. He stood up and went over to where his mother was talking to one of his aunts. ‘I’m heading off. I’ll talk to you soon,’ he said briskly, pretending
nothing was amiss.
‘Fine, dear.’ Joanna proffered a cool cheek. He kissed her and turned to search for Della. She was sitting with Eddie, watching him like the cat that got the cream.
He walked over to her and put his face close against hers. ‘Everything Shauna said about you was right, Della. You’re a horrible person,’ he said flatly.
Della flushed, taken aback at his words. ‘It takes one to know one,’ she retorted, stung.
‘I can’t argue with that. Good luck with the baby. It’s got a cold bitch for a mother.’ He didn’t wait for her response but hurried out of the pub, anxious to put
as much distance as possible between them.