Divine Liaisons (14 page)

“It was actually Thur. I created the Thurs; a superhuman race. And you've met Dustin, so I know you won't argue that point. Thur is another word for rune, which means secret. And that was my name, to them. My name was a secret, which was never revealed. Your bible calls it the ineffable name of God, because none of you morons ever knew my name. None of you, but my first; my beautiful pale Lili. She shone like the moon off water, her smile seduced every atom in my body, and her voice purred me into distraction.”

“
And Dustin is your hammer?”

“
Yes, he is my weapon. He is the first Thur. The Norse called my men made like Dustin, jötunn. Which is a giant race; the name means to raise mountains. And that's what mining does, the soil we excavated had to go somewhere, and the simple folk thought we were raising mountains, when all we were really doing was excavating soil and making mine dumps.”

He smiles at me, his eyes taking on that alluring glow. “You are little, you cannot argue that Dustin is superhuman, a giant amongst men. The first seven were supreme, affectionally known as the terrifying seven. But when they interbred, after I left here, it all went to shit. I came back to a race of midgets, with no strength, and barely any intelligence.”

“Erra, I don't understand. You are not a monster, how did this get so messed up? Why did Dustin come to me? And Lucierne? What do you need from me?”

“
You must surely see it, Sarah?”

“
See what?”

“
Lucierne is the first body of light, made from my spirit. Dustin is the first physical body, made from my own. I am both of them, and more. And that is why all three find you attractive. Essentially we're the same being. Thor's hammer, my symbol, is shaped like an anchor. From the one, came two more. I represent the arm of the anchor, they are the bottom arms, like a pick axe. Hence the name Thor's Hammer. Which represents the father, the son, and the holy spirit;  Erra, Dustin, and Lucierne.”

“
Oh god.”

He laughs at my reaction, “You don't need to call me god, darling. Erra's just fine.”

“Why me?”

“
What does your name mean?”

“
Princess.”

“
And you were. I was the king, you were my princess, my perfect mate.”

“
Wh-at?”

“
Lilit, it's taken us too long to find you.”

“
Wha– No.”

“
Come now, don't be coy.”

“
Erra, I have questions. I need to understand.” Leaping from my chair, snatching my hand from his grasp, I pounce to the rug before the hearth, spinning to look at the God lounging in a chair, his mouth sensuously carving amusement across delectable features.

“
Before you tell me I'm Lilith, which is insane, I need explanations.”

“
I cannot resist you. Ask, and you will get an answer.”

“
Dustin – he's a personified weapon? How?”

“
He is a Sibitti.”

“
You're speaking gibberish! Your language makes no sense to me.”

“
The Sibitti, there were seven of them. All I needed was seven. Yet you wouldn't even give me that.”

“
What is a Sibitti?”

“
You want a definition? It means sons of heaven and earth.”

“
How?”

“
Interpreted another way, it translates as 'champion without peer'. They stand alone in all creation. But because of you absconding, they were forced to breed with native inhabitants, and Eve.”

He stands from his chair, spreading his wings to block the rest of the room, trapping me before the fire, “You left me, Lilit! YOU LEFT ME! All of this...” he sweeps his arm in a wild gesture, “This abomination called humans, this is all
your
fault!”

“
I– I can't.. be Lilith. She sprouted wings and flew out of Eden. She's a demon!”

“
What is a demon? Definition!?”

“
A fallen angel.”

“
Humans are so fucking retarded, I wish I could undo it all. No Sarah, a
demon
is a higher
guiding
spirit
. It's what you are, it's what I am. A
Satan
is a
fallen
angel. How did they fall? It's quite simple, they had their bodies taken away – they have no corporeal form, they exist like Lucierne. But unlike Lucierne and Lucifer, they do not glow. They have no light. They have no intelligent consciousness. They are removed from all that is good and wholly.”

“
Lucifer? What?!”

“
The Luci part of any name, translates simply as 'to glow'. To be radiant with splendor. They are both perfectly whole and beautiful benevolent beings. When you left EDIN, I started it. I began the lie.”

He's advancing, his expression crazy, furious, and I'm forced to step back, closer to the flames.

“Damn you woman! You knew my name, you loved me, I loved you, and you just left!”

Arms clamp me against his chest, agonized eyes stare into mine, “You left me no choice. You were the only one who glowed. I declared you an outlaw, an evil being to be captured, at any cost. I would have done anything to reclaim you. You were the only demon on earth, and because of me demons have been considered evil ever since. But you aren't, you are salvation, not damnation.”

His kiss chokes, blocking my airway, the force he's employing is hard enough to bruise.

Shoving him away, the strength in my legs is dissipating, my heart is aching like it's ruptured.

“Erra–,” I manage, sinking to the rug. “I'm not, I can't–”

He drops to his haunches, lifting my chin, staring into my eyes, “You are.”

“It's not possible.”

“
It is. You have corrected the deficiency I created. You saw them, aimless, without a soul, and you finally gave in, you gave your body to my creation. You gave birth to humans, so they could know happiness. You gave them the spirit, I could not.”

“
I didn't! I'm human!” Hot tears spew out of stinging eyes; his beauty wavers, “I'm human.”

“
You never have been. You hide in your own creation. You are now a creator, just like me. But you did it better. Why couldn't you have chosen me when it mattered? Why did you run?”

“
I'm not Lilith. I don't have your answers.”

His hand reaches down, lifting me with one hand into his lap, “You are.”

“But you look like an angel.”

He chuckles. His smile loving, but sad.

“Only one record of me exists which is true. I am the god accused of  'You changed out of your divinity and made yourself like a man.' And I'd do it again and again, to have you back.”

“
But I love Dustin.”

“
I know. He is your unfinished business.”

“
What?”

“
He has no soul, Lili. You're the only one who can give it to him.”

“
This is too much.”

“
I need to show you something. Don't destroy me when I trust you. This is important. It's not me being an ass. I need you to see who you are.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
Just trust me, and close your eyes.”

Closing my eyes, memories course through me. The light, the flashes, the fire – the passion of last night. And when I opened my eyes to see, thunder was rolling and lightning was crashing.

He's God? Thur? Erra.

“
Is Erra really your name?”

“
Yes. And some still call me The Error.”

Hot lips skim mine. “And you my love, you correct the error in me, and in what I did to this world.”

Chapter 21

“Wait.”

I push away from him, needing space.

“You
made
me?”

“
Yes.”

“
And Dustin knew?”

“
Everyone knew.”

I'm quaking, I'm so alarmed.

“Dustin told me the story about Gan, and Creator, and Girl-Without-Parents. He was trying to warn me.”

“
You have no parents. I
am
your creator, not your father, or your god.”

“
Then how did I end up a child, growing up?”

His chuckle balms my fraught nerves. It's fond, and gentle.

“Princess, you are a creator, just like me. You have complete control over your body, just as I do. I can make myself look like anyone. Like Erik, a make believe child of a woman just dead. And you, you choose to forget. You try and start over, again and again. You have been looking for love, and family, ever since you left me.”

Holy crap.

“This sounds like a make believe yarn if I ever heard one.”

“
I was trying to show you, but you jumped away to argue further.”

“
Show me what?” I'm suspicious.

“
Your divinity, for lack of a better term.”

“
You mean I'm a freak, like you?”

“
Yes.”

“
But you stripped my power from me so I couldn't hurt you?”

“
In a sense.”

“
Will it hurt?”

“
No, it won't hurt,” he says with a salacious smile.

“
And what about this thunder and lightning stuff?”

“
We naturally harness electro-magnetic energy. It causes 'weather'.”

Creator and his cloud. Girl without parents. Gan, a race of Lucierne's. Sky Boy, left in charge of the sky people. Basically that must be Dustin. Made here, but not from here, and never belonging.

“What about Dustin? Give him his soul.”

“
I can't. You can though.”

“
How?”

“
Look, can we cross that bridge after I show you who you are?”

“
Why can't we do it now?”

“
Because it's a buzz kill for me.”

I'm afraid. Without my rage, I'm left naked; and now my identity is crushed as if it didn't matter. I have to get proof to believe him, I owe myself that much. But I don't think he's joking. This is the true story. This explains the madness all around me lately.

Leaning closer, his whisper is a beg. “Close your eyes.”

“
Why don't you ever say please?”

“
Do you think creation responds to please? I'm going to make earth. Earth please appear. No, that's not how it works. To create something, you mean what you say, and you command it to happen. Humans will continue to remain barren of their inherent power, until they learn to
command
with their will. Saying please keeps you bereft of results.”

His face is so close to mine now, I'm getting a pretty good idea of how he intends to show me my proof.

“Are you ready?”

“
I just broke Dustin's heart and you're using it to screw me?”

He pulls away slightly, “Lilit, it's the easiest way to show you.”

“My name is Sarah.”

“
Sarah is a pseudonym. Your given name is Lilit, without the h. Because you were so bright, all of creation paled against you. Your name means light. You are. The light inside all of us. Brighter than mine at times too. You are the brightest Spirit I created. I will call you by your name. You are more than a princess, you are magnificent.”

If what he says is true. And he can make me appear in my natural form. That means I can punch him into the next century. It's worth a shot.

“Fine. Let's get this over with.”

His eyes are lighting up, the speckles of stars almost impossible to look at. Looking down, he does the god thing. The way he manifested fire in a hearth with a look, he removes our clothing with a glance.

Does he know Dustin just ravaged me up against the wall? These three gods have no shame, whatsoever.

We're coupling before I realise he's moved, entering me.

“Close your eyes.”

Holding onto his broad shoulders, I close them, leaning my forehead tiredly against his chest.

Pleasure arcs hotly from my crown to the base of my spine, screaming, my neck arches of its own accord.

“
Open them.”

Reopening my eyes, the sight is familiar, his wings have us in a sealed igloo, his brilliant light, blinding white.

“These are your wings Lili, not mine. This is
your
light.”

“
No–”

“
Yes. That's where the pleasure comes from. It happens when you release your disguise and become yourself. Admit it, this feels better than Dustin.”

I nod, for some reason ashamed.

“I love you. Please don't leave me again.” His voice is saturated with affection, and it tugs at me.

“
Why doesn't this happen with Dustin? Or with others?”

“
Dustin has no spirit to join to yours. As for others, I think you blocked out this ability so you could blend in.” His nose touches mine, sweet yummy breath washes into me, “Why would you want to be less than perfect? Why choose to live as human, without power, when you could be happy, being yourself?”

“
I –”

“
Was lost. And now, after so long, you are found. No one could adopt you sweetheart. You are not a freak, or a reject, you are simply so perfect, they can never understand you. And because of that, they can't accept you.”

“
But it hurts, inside, all I wanted was love.”

He sits back, showing me his wings as more proof. “This earth is too far gone now. They've perpetrated the stories of God for so long, we can't undo it. Brilliant men have been martyred trying to teach them that God, the one and only God, is a Spirit of Love. He has no corporeal body. They keep waiting for God to come back and save them, to rapture them, but they're asking for less than they deserve. Love would never harm. It doesn't fight, or smite. They have justified atrocities in my name, without ever
knowing
my name.”

“
You have to fix this.”

“
How? Lili, you gave them a spirit. You know how Lucierne is. He is love. He is light. Only Spirit gives life. Spirit is benevolent, warm, safe, precious. Mankind is stuck now, in a body which shouldn't have ever had a spirit. The body wants to experience the material world. And it became twisted in a bid for power. To own more land, to convert people to a misguided and horrifically edited religion. They edited you out of their holy book. Claiming women sinned. When you were the only one
free
from sin.”

For the first time, I see tears in his eyes.

“It's my fault. I can never make it up to you. But ask for your forgiveness anyway.”

Reaching out, I touch my white wings, then rest my hands on his chest.

“My wings are a different color.”

“
You are my mate. I created the best of all of me, in you. And I've been so saddened by your hiding. By the destruction of your reputation. I was an angry love-struck fool. How else could I create mankind with egos? I have one too. It got the better of me. The repercussions of which, I fear will never end.”

“
So come back, as God, and set the record straight.”

“
I can't. Now you have new conspiracies. UFO's and reptilians. At least your imaginations are fertile land.”

“
How is that an excuse?”

“
Lili, they'll simply call me an alien from Zeta Reticuli. If I could fix it, I would have. But I had to find you first.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
I mean that flood, it should have happened. This abomination must be exorcised. This planet is my mistake, the inhabitants are my cross to bear. I made this mess. And now I have you, I must clean up my mess.”

Sitting up, instantly cold when my wings unlock and withdraw, it's the weirdest feeling. Shivering, I wriggle against him for warmth, “You can't do that. What about the beauty, and the good guys?”

“Who am I, Lili? I am a commander,
the
master. I can create a virus to wipe them out. Before they destroy everything else in creation. With their bombs, and meddling, and psychological blackmail. Mankind put men in charge over billions, and those men don't even care if the water is clean, or what gets hunted to extinction.”

His eyes glow vivid, his voice booming, “This was never my plan. This is something I will not tolerate. Their only mercy was you were hiding amongst them somewhere. And until I found you, they got to continue their blasphemy. The only thing saving them from me, was you.”

“I understand your anger, but –”

“
No buts. They've had more time than any of you realise, to make this right. Even in the story Dustin told you, God's only instruction when he left was to be good to each other, and foster happiness. I left Spirit mountains for your guidance, but now you label Spirits as evil. So I had to send Lucierne's race to mankind in dreams. Look around you! All you have is misery. You work yourselves to the bone, murder each other, pollute everything, and treat animals like prisoners. The only thing left free on this planet, is the grass. I left you with everything you needed. And look what you've done. You've ruined nirvana. You've ruined everything beautiful.”

“
Not everything.”

“
Look what they did to
you
, Lilit. Look! They have forced you through might and murder to be a subservient creature. Diminishing the female who was created FIRST! Going so far as to abort pregnancies of females. Who the fuck do these minions think they are? I am the God who smites. And they are long overdue for a tanning of epic proportion.”

“
You can't murder the planet!”

“
Lili, look at me, look at you. We are beautiful. You cry at the slightest injustice. Your heart hurts for everyone. And mine too. I've been forced to sit back and watch this, only because I was waiting for you to come home. They need God. You said yourself, all you wanted was love. I love you, but I love you as a mate, not as a god. There is a god. And he's a far sight closer than any of you think. The only way for mankind to know love, is to die. It isn't a travesty. They have to lose their bodies, and return to spirit. Because God is Spirit. He is the Spirit of Love. Destroying humans, will free them.”

He reaches out, a trembling hand gently stroking and cupping my cheek.

“I want to take you home too. Please?” Tears drop, like fiery crystal, “I love you more than life. Don't you understand? Life,
this
material creation,
life
was my mistake. By creating life, I've robbed an entire world of love. Of real love. And they remember me when I was so heartbroken and full of despair, they aspired to be me. And now my broken heart is forever severed with their continuation of despair and heartache. On every living creature I left here.”

“
You are the error.”

“
Yes, I am. I created something which wasn't mine to create. And I messed up. I really did. You embody what I set out to create. But my legacy ruined anything you could do. Everything that's wrong with this world, starts - and ends, with me.”

“
I must go to Dustin. I've destroyed him, and I have to make it right.”

“
I'll take you.”

“
And then?”

“
And then you make him whole. But you need me to tell you how.”

“
How?”

“
You couple with him, and Lucierne. Lucierne can enter your body at will, because he is Spirit. He belongs inside Dustin. Lucierne
is
Dustin's Spirit. When Dustin's body is joined to yours, he has that connection required for you to put whatever you want into his body. Lucierne must go from you, to Dustin. When there is no umbilical cord, the only salvation a man can have from a woman's spiritual connection to Love, is through body to body connecting.”

“
Why can't Lucierne just go direct?”

“
Lili, I made woman first. And all creation came through your wisdom. The only way for life to enter this planet, is through the female. I knew my own failings. I knew if I could create again, I would create wrong. So you were the fail-safe. All creation must come through you, or it cannot become at all. You fought me tooth and nail. You bickered and argued with me about everything and anything. You showed me how far up my own ass I was. I was on a power trip. And when you made me face myself, I knew you are truth. You only speak the truth. So you are the creation clause. Only the female from that day forth, could create life. Only you could channel Spirit. Love can work
through
you. It lives in me. It's present in all men. But only you can put it into a life form. There would never be another Dustin. My Sibitti were all I had. The rest of creation came through your stamp of approval. But I had to lose you, before I saw the wisdom of your words. The way it is now, is my eternal recognition and testament, to you.”