Divine Liaisons (16 page)

“
I don't deserve any of this. None of it!”

“
No, you don't. And it's never been my intention to hurt you. If I need a little help, don't climb down my throat when I get it wrong.”

“
Help? Boy, you need a miracle.”

“
Call me boy again, and you'll need more than that.”

“
Aaaargh!”

Flicking his stewing moody gaze my way, he snaps the music on, shutting me up with deafening rock. Reaching over, he gives my thigh a squeeze, trying very hard to wrestle his smile into the mud.

Turning off the main road, he slows the low slung Viper to navigate over the the entrance bump and into the State Park grounds.

Now that we're here, I feel sick with tension.

Chapter 23

When we reach the end of asphalt, I look at my chauffeur. “It's okay. I can walk it from here.”

“
You don't even know if he's here.”

“
I do. I know in my heart.”

He eyes the dirt track leading toward Spirit Rock.

“I'll wait. Call me when you get a visual on him.”

“
And then?”

“
Then I'll leave.”

Watching him, he has mistrust all over his face.

“What aren't you telling me, Erra?”

“
I'm afraid of losing you. Dustin isn't stupid. He's here for a darn good reason.”

“
What reason?”

Exhaling heavily, he hangs his hands over the top of the steering wheel, staring out at the mound of Enchanted Rock.

“If he leaves with you, you'd better tell him I will be on his ass for eternity. And when I catch up, I'll destroy him.”

“
Why can't he leave with me?”

“
Not that kind of leave.
Leave
, leave.”

“
You mean, leave the planet?”

“
Yes ma'am. I mean leave this 'place'.”

“
I didn't think we could –”

“
In all creation, only eight people know how, and where. Dustin's one of the eight.”

Right now he's looking every inch a wrathful god.

“Hey. Don't go jumping to conclusions.”

His smile is forced, his eyes sparking warfare. “I love you. Now go. Before I leave him to his misery and kidnap you myself.”

This is almost sweet. He's really trying to be a better 'man'. Leaning over, inhaling his heavenly scent, I give his cheek a kiss.

“
Go home. I'll call you later.”

But when I try open the door. It's stuck fast.

“Erra, you have to let me go.”

He leans over, his eyes too close to focus, kissing me until he licks my tonsils, before drawing away.

“Be careful, Lili.”

Nodding, I need to get out of this car right now. The atmosphere is heating up, and I don't need him getting all lust-god on me. “I will.”

This time the door opens, and I dive out, inhaling brisk late-morning air. Now I'm grateful for the hike ahead of me. Nothing calms me more than exercise.

Shutting the door, I give a small wave, turn my back, and start jogging toward the rock.

It takes me ten minutes before I see the Ninja, and ten more before I spot him, sitting in the same place as before.

Pausing, blood hot in my cheeks now, the wind stinging my eyes, I take out my phone and dial Erik.

“Ready for me to come fetch you?” drawls Erra.

“
He's here. You can go. Thanks for the ride.”

“
Why do I feel like I should be thanking you for the ride?”

“
Because maybe, somewhere deep inside your mask, there's a beating heart with chivalry still in it.”

His laugh is deep, sexy, throaty. “Lilit, be strong. I'm only a phone call away.”

“I now. But keep your telescope pointing away from it this time.”

“
How did you–”

“
Infrared telescope. What, you think I didn't look? You go too far with invasion of privacy.”

“
Don't crucify me for loving you darlin'. I can't help that I'm paranoid. You gave me ample reason to be.”

“
I gotta go. Go home. If he sees you here he'll just get pissed.”

“
Okay. I love you.”

“
I know. Bye.”

Before he can say another word, I hang up.

Approaching him from the rear, I take my phone out again, waiting a good distance from him.

He ignores it.

I press redial.

Eventually he digs in his jacket pocket, answering without looking at caller ID.

“Yup?”

“
I want to talk to you.”

“
There's nothing to say, Sarah.”

“
I'll talk then, you listen.”

He sighs heavily, resting an elbow on his knee and holding his head in his hand, like he has a headache.

“Is there space on that rock for two?”

“
How'd ya know where I am, ohpitsa?”

“
A heart is a great compass. It never leads you false.”

“
Where are ya?”

“
A little ways behind you.”

He laughs, turning and spying me.

“There's no stopping a determined woman, is there?”

“
No sir. Best you just give in and let her have her way with ya.”

He beckons me with his hand. “Okay, sugar. Come on over into the lion's den.”

Laughing, we disconnect, and I'm tempted to run, launching myself into his arms and smothering him with kisses. Instead I come over all self-conscious, knowing behind those black sunglasses is a man watching my every step.

Sinking next to him, the cold wind tugs my hair like a bratty toddler. Wrapping an arm around his huge thigh where his leg hinges up, I turn my back to the view, staring into his chiseled face.

“I have something for you.”

The muscle in his jaw flexes. “Oh yeah?”

“Someone told me how to give you your soul. I'm here to deliver it.”

Pain washes his face, and he looks away from me.

Refusing to be ignored, I climb into his lap, linking my ankles behind his back pockets, slipping my hands inside the open biker's jacket, resting them on his chest.

“
Look at me, please?”

Inhaling a jagged breath, he finally stares into my throat.

Mildly afraid of how fast and strong he is, I tilt his sunglasses up, staring into anguished eyes.

“
He knows I love you. And I told him if I had to choose, I'd choose you.”

“
You just don't get it. We have no choice. He's my Commander. My creator, and yours. What he says, goes.”

“
Wrong. I left him once, and I may well do it again. He can't force me to do something I don't wanna do.”

“
Yeah? And that decision may get me killed.”

“
Thank you for bringing me here. For telling me about Girl-Without-Parents. You were trying so hard to protect me, and I was just too ignorant to understand the warning.”

He shrugs, looking away again.

Giving in to my heart, I use the moment to run a line of kisses over his strong neck, snuggling close, to whisper in his ear.

“
I must complete you. It's time for you to take me home, so I can mend your broken heart, and give you what's been missing inside you all this time.”

“
I'm surprised you didn't come here with a shotgun. I deserve it.”

“
I didn't understand. But I do now. When all hope is stolen, what is left? This was the way it had to happen. So I knew what I had to do, who I am, and how to make it right.”

“
Why are you really here, sugar?”

Pulling back, I kiss the tip of his nose.

“I hurt you bad. Please give me this? Take me home, and let's fix this.”

“
How'd you get here?”

“
Erra.” Pleasure pulsates through me, but I hope I hid it well.

“
So he knows you're here?”

“
Yes.”

“
And he just let ya come on up here to seduce me?”

“
Yes. This is his fault. All of it. At least he's shouldering his accountability. He says only I can make it right. So here I am, making it right. My only regret is I wasn't here sooner.”

Hugging him, rubbing his shoulders, I watch him wrestle with some kind of internal conflict.

“I'm sorry, Dusty. I really am. I never knew. It's no excuse –”

Wind whips my hair across my eyes, and I look away, hiding my unshed tears when I tuck it back behind my ear.

Biting my lip, I'm trying so darn hard not to cry and make him feel responsible for any of my hurt. I didn't know who Erra was. I did fight him. I didn't realise what Erra would mean to us. Or how they all waited for me to come back from god knows where to fix their broken existence.

“
I love you. It's all I have. It's real, and it hurts me knowing I hurt ya. If I could choose again, I can't say I wouldn't have fallen down the same holes. Because it was only by grazing my knees and falling down that I learned the truth. And that knowledge I needed, to be here now, to open the world of the Gan to you, and put what's missing inside your heart.”

He finally looks at me, ducking his head, pushing his face hard into my shoulder when his arms wrap around me to squeeze me half broken.

“Don't say anything. Just take me home,” I say against his temple.

“
I love that ya always call it home. It's never been home, but I guess with a woman's insistence anyplace can be home.”

I shut him up, sucking his lip into my mouth, tasting his spring rain and desert fire scent whipping around me, holding his face in my hands as if he was a broken-legged fledgling.

Staring into his eyes, the deep well of pain is vivid. I now know why it's there. He's lived an eternity looking for his soul. How hard it must have been seeing so many ruthless humans running around, breeding, loving and laughing, every last one of them having something he's never had.

Tears are coursing, running hard now, and I'm desperate; tasting, licking, sucking, needing more than anything in my life, to fix this man. To ease his pain. To make him whole.

Quivering, shaking, so hot and so bitterly cold, I plead against his mouth, “Dusty, take me home.”

He nods, running a possessive tongue over my lips before drawing away, tracing both hands over the breasts against him.

His breath is rugged, staggered, but he manages to disengage and offer me his hand. Pulling me to my feet, delicious blunt fingers trace my spine to pause at the bottom, “You sure you know what you're doing, ohpitsa?”

“
Yes.”

“
Last chance.”

“
Dustin, you've waited an eternity. Just put me on the back of your Ninja, let me hold onto you for dear life, with the wind as my witness and the sun giving us her blessing, and get me home safe in one piece. I know you can't help the ache driving you. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I don't blame you. You told me to let Gan in to heal me. Now it's your turn to follow your own advice. Take me home, and let me in.”

I squeal loud when he catches me by complete surprise, flipping me over his shoulder in one deft move, literally running down the steep incline with me, to the waiting cosmos-black Ninja.

In that singular movement, I'm free again. All the weight strangling me, all the Erra issues and conflict, dissolve. This man is free, even if he's never been whole. He embodies freedom. He smells and tastes like fresh air and the open road, and he breaks rules. He knows who I am, but still treats me like his girl, a girl he's taking home over his shoulder. He's fully capable.

Completely unaware of how a tender heart, combined with unashamed to be 'all man', wrap a chain so hard around my heart, I want to be in his heart forever.

Erra may be god, but he could learn so much if he just took the time to study what he did right, instead of brooding over what he did wrong.

Dustin is liberating, and I can't resist the bubble of giggles spilling out, giving the cute ass in front of my nose a pinch.

Chapter 24

I'm so tempted to open my wings from wherever it is they hide, to feel the wind buffering them. It's wild in my hair, knotting it with hundreds of kisses.

Holding him tight, his wide shoulders like a shield against the world, the scenery whips past us like a flirting phantom, bringing with it smells of the wild, and long buried secrets. Leather and sunshine, and wind, unlocks life's shackles. Erra is right about one thing. We are meant to be free, like the grass. We long to be free.

We were made to serve an egomaniac, to toil, and breed workers, for him. The system has never been broken. He created a global monster which swallows the light and plunges all souls into despair. But this experience, two lovers, out on the open road on a work day, with open plains and fresh air, running wild, this is how we're meant to be.

If I can change this world, I'm going to. And no matter how much Erra wants to take me 'home', I can't leave this place. This is my home. And it's time it felt like one. With a woman's touch. Reviving wild flowers and friendly smiles.

It's time world. It's time I set you all free. I don't know how, but I think I finally have a friend in a very high place. One I'm going to needle with guilt until we're fixed, set free, to live with love instead of fear.

Holding on, tilting my head back, I bask in the giddiness of the wild. My arms around his waist get an answering squeeze, as if he can sense my thoughts. Heck, maybe I'm even glowing, I'm so happy.

Now I know why they say pregnant women glow. And why happy women glow. Because we can, and we do. Laughing, I hug him tight, kissing the back of his neck. The rumble of his laugh vibrates through my breasts, straight to my toes. Oh yeah, this is love, and I've been bitten so hard, I'll have the hickey forever.

It's sobering when he kills the engine in front of his still open front door. It must be great having no fear. Or maybe nothing matters enough for him to fear it being taken.

Sliding off the bike, I watch him dismount with long legs bulging their thighs.

Oh mama, this boy is fine.

“
You're smiling, sugar.”

“
Yes, I am.”

He steps closer, assaulting my senses with untamed man up close and personal.

“Why's that? Aren't you afraid of what I'll do to you once I have you inside?”

“
I'm happy. Positively delirious with it.”

Stooping, he grazes my neck with stubble and lips, sending my pulse into frenetic drumming. I feel oddly like a bride when he dips, hooking my legs over one arm and supporting my back with the other, carrying me through the welcoming door.

Linking my hands behind his neck, I watch him as he walks through the house, taking me to his bedroom this time.

He pauses halfway down the passage, “Wait. Sorry. Do you want a drink or–?”

“Don't make me kick your ass. Stop being a gentleman and get me naked and all over you, in the next sixty seconds, or I'll be teaching you self-defense moves you've never heard of.”

Laughing, his grin wider than the Grand Canyon, he covers the distance in under two seconds, dropping me on his bed and yanking my shirt over my head in one swift move.

“Get your chaps off cowboy, and I'll take care of mine.”

Wriggling out of my jeans and shoes, I watch him strip down, watching me with a vulnerability which pings my heart.

On my knees, I inch to the edge of the bed, reaching for his hands and drawing him closer.

“
Would you like to do this the fast way, or the slow way?” I ask.

“
Waddaya think?”

If desperation could be personified, it just found its home.

“
C'mere.” Pulling his head down, hooking my lips with his, I coax him down onto his enormous fawn bed. “Lay back,” I say softly, slowly raking my nails down his thighs, enjoying the reaction of his body.

His long reach responds in kind, sanding my skin with rough hands, hooking my hair and drawing me to his face, set in such tension, it's radiating off him.

“Ohpitsa, please tell me this won't ruin you, or destroy me. I wouldn't put it past him to use you.”

“
Then close your eyes, if you don't like what you feel, I'll stop, I promise.”

His burnt sugar scent is intensifying, making me want to lick his skin as he closes his loving caramel gaze, shuttering me from the stark pain in them. I didn't like the fear I saw, but he's lived long enough to question Erra's wisdom.

Planting knees on either side of his hips, I close my own eyes.

Lucierne, it's time.

I'm here.

Do you know what you have to do?

Yes.

Okay, I'm ready.

But before I feel a thing, Dustin has me off and under him, diving off the bed, swinging his fists at Lucierne's head.

They go right through Lucierne, who is smiling and laughing.

“Dusty, what are you doing?”

A guttural grunt drives forcefully through his throat as he attacks Lucierne, with zero result.

“Who is this? What the hell is he doing here?”

All the while, he's trying to smash Lucierne, with his fists and arms passing right through him.

“This is Lucierne. He's your Spirit.”

I'm becoming alarmed with the crazed expression on Dusty's face.

And then, as Dustin looks at me, Lucierne decks him one hard shot across the jaw, pitching him onto the bed.

Stifling my laugh, I watch him rubbing his jaw, flexing it as if to test if it's broken.

“Would you just trust me? Lucierne's been helping you all along.”

“
It's a trick.”

“
It's not. This is a Firefly being. The one who made music with Fox. The race who live on Spirit mountain. Come on Sky-Boy, open your eyes and recognize your own people.”

“
Sky-Boy?”

Then his scowl morphs into the sweetest little boy grin. It makes me laugh out loud, bending over his aching face to tenderly kiss him.

“I love you, mofo. Sometimes you can be as thick as that neck of yours.”

“
You could'a warned me.”

“
And ruin the surprise, no way.”

“
You just wanted a kinky threesome. How'm I ever gonna get it up now?”

“
I have skills big boy.”

“
Oh yeah?”

“
Shut up. Close your eyes and just lay back, enjoy being treated like a king, this doesn't happen every day.”

He looks uncomfortable, his eyes watching Lucierne standing behind me.

“This is beyond fucked up, ohpitsa.”

“
I didn't make the rules.”

Huffing, he closes his eyes, his fists still tense at his sides.

Sighing with silent relief, just as uncomfortable as he is, I pretend Lucierne isn't here as I bend to kiss my way down his stepped torso. Tracing the blocks, licking, nipping, I skim nipples over his skin.

Driving a shiver from my hair to my spine, desire latches inside me, reminding me why I'm doing this. I'm not doing this for Erra, I'm doing it because I love Dustin.

I can help.

How?

You'll see.

Okay.

Lucierne warms my naked back, his glowing hands holding my arms as he presses against me. He's so humid, it's like relaxing into a hot bath.

His hands slip down my arms, and I watch as they hold mine, until mine merge with his. Lifting me, he copies my stance, sliding such a hot stake of desire through me, I close my eyes, watching when his light merges into every part of me, warming, soothing, caressing, breathing with another life inside me, like twins in a womb.

We all have desire, even Spirit has it. Now open your heart, feel on every level, and trust his body will respond without the waste of time humans employ teasing each other to arousal.

Nodding, I open my legs as wide as I can, taking Dustin's muscle in my hand, amazed when it hardens instantly.

My breath is hitching, I'm having a hard time calming my own reaction to this weird setup. It's sexy on such a wicked level, but also oddly right. It's a cocktail of deathly ambrosia. Tempting me to give in to a primal and pure state.

Sliding over him, holding him deep inside me, a hot spike arcs down my back, and I'm groaning, rocking, moving without thought, shuddering with the pleasure injected into my veins.

Arching over Dustin, like an angel stealing a kiss from a dying man, offering solace in pain, hope when they are saturated in despair, I press my forehead to his, moving quivering palms to his chest, needing to breathe his reassuring breath into my lungs.

Cumming hard, the force is white-hot scorching lightning, it rips through me from my eyes, heart, hands, right through the slippery core of me, and his body reacts.

It's such a broken cry, so deep, torn from somewhere deep inside him, as if I just plunged a nebulae into his gut, and it blew a hole out the other side. It's the cry of surrender, surprise, defeat.

Afraid, I hold onto him tight, pressing all of me over his body, crying. Panicked, fear, and pleasure, slice me into slivers of adrenaline.

Listening to his pounding heart under my ear, I cry onto his skin, praying heart and soul I didn't just destroy the man who carries my heartbeat inside his chest.

Frozen, an eternity of anguish runs icy fingers through my loins, down my legs, and I am left oddly barren. As if I just lost something so precious.

“Ohpitsa?”

Unclenching my squeezed tight lashes, I dare to peek.

His hand runs over my head, and we're inside the wing enclosure. It's full of golden light, rippling in cascading waves all around me.

“
My god woman. You are so beautiful.”

Sitting up, tears coursing their merciless scars down my cheeks, I can barely breathe.

“I thought... I thought you – that I...”

“
Shhh.” He pulls my head back to his chest, kissing the top of my crown.

“
I feel it. It's pure joy. Warm, happy, dancing with my blood. It's, it's divine.”

Now I'm crying with laughter, and relief. Immediately lame with exhaustion, I lay over my lover, religiously grateful his life was spared.

“You have wings?”

“
Uh huh.”

“
Where were they hiding?”

“
I don't know. I only discovered them earlier today.”

“
Sit up, let me look at you.”

It's an effort and a half getting my arms to work. He helps, assisting me to sit upright, the wings still closed tight around us.

A curious finger traces my nipples, up my neck, over my lips, wiping my tears and examining his fingers.

“
You are glorious.”

“
I'm just me. I'm still me.”

“
You are his soul mate. I see it now. You have the splendor of heaven in you.”

“
I'm yours, and Lucierne's, too.”

“
But now the two are one. You should allow yourself the same joy.”

“
How can you say that?”

Grabbing the hand he's still looking at covered in my strange shimmer, I press it hard over my heart.

“Feel that? I still have a heart beating in my chest. Don't you dare break it!”

“
Oh baby. I didn't mean it like that.”

The tears are shoving their brutal ache out my eyes again, a hollow emptiness engulfs my insides. “Then what did you mean?” It comes out hoarse, despairing.

Rolling us, he looks down at me with a glow behind his toffee-brown eyes. The radiance of life is obviously in him now. Happiness shows in his eyes.

“
Look at me,” he holds my chin, making sure I'm staring into his eyes.

“
I'm just sayin', you are special, Sarah. More precious than anything ever created. There's only one of you. And if you are happy, this whole earth will smile with you. Girl-without-parents, this is your world. As long as you keep pushing aside your own happiness for others, the world can't be happy. You have to make yourself happy, see to your own needs, and that happiness will grow like a baby in a womb. Your kin need you to lead by example. It's not selfish to put yourself first. It's what we need you to do.”

“
You make me happy. So don't you go breaking my heart. Ya'll expect so much from me. All this pressure to be the first light of god. When all I ever wanted was to be cherished.”

“
And you will be baby.” He kisses my nose, “I promise you, you will be.”