Documentary (45 page)

Kai sighed. “Not great…how are you?”

“Terrible.” Dylan put her hands on his shoulders and felt her chin tremble. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have…I reacted like an idiot. Please forgive me. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. What I did was horrible and cruel.” Her stare traveled up as Kai stood and put his arms around her, flattening his cheek against her forehead. At first, she thought the hug was acceptance of her apology, and a reassurance that all was not lost, but it felt different. It was empty and meant only to placate her probably.

“Are we…okay?” Dylan asked against his chest, her hands fisted at his back.

He sighed. “We’re…we’re like we were before.” Kai kissed her forehead all too briefly before he pulled away, yanked his baseball cap down and left the room without her.

The San Diego show that night was one of his best in her opinion. It was an arena performance and a shared headline, where he opened for a band called Miss Michigan. It was an instant morale boost for the whole crew. But the time on the bus didn’t feel like it had before. Kai didn’t ignore her like when they had hit that rough patch before—they laughed and hung out with each other and the rest of the group—but he was noticeably keeping her at arm’s length. Of course, they couldn’t cuddle and kiss in front of everyone, but he was engaging in their usual innocent contact—hugs—less, and when he did do it, he seemed to be doing it to keep her from noting that something was up.

Caroline Eckhart, Professor Jordan and Nina all attended the L.A. show the next evening, and Caroline and Nina invited her to a brief late night meeting in Caroline’s
hotel suite after it. Dylan was sure it would be disciplinary in nature, but it turned out to be an informal discussion and review of her work, which they both loved.

“Would you be open to a permanent position with Lava’s film team?” Caroline asked as she walked Dylan out of the room. Kai was leaning against the wall in front of them in the corridor. Dylan looked at him briefly and smiled, and Kai bounced his eyebrows and waved back.

“Are you offering one?” Dylan asked excitedly as she shook Caroline’s hand. Nina was smiling. Was she looking at her with… adoration? Yes, Dylan was certain of it. Caroline cocked an eyebrow and laughed.

“I like the way you bargain, Ms. Carroll.” Caroline looked over at Nina like they had some secret agreement. Dylan tried not to freak out. “Call me when you’re back at school. I insist.”

“I will! Thank you both,” Dylan said before she walked down the hall. She turned back once to catch them beckoning Kai into the suite next. He was staring at her too, and he couldn’t have looked sadder.

             
“Hello?” Dylan groggily mumbled into her cell phone. She kept her head under the covers, too exhausted to move or open her eyes.

             
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” It was her entire family screaming, and Dylan’s eyes flipped open. She crawled over Odette, pushed Jamie’s hanging leg back to the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. They had flown into L.A. last night along with Leko and Ribsy so that everyone could go to Vegas together. Dylan plopped down on the closed toilet and waited for her sudden headache to pass.

             
“Thank you, guys!” she said in a raspy tone. “Thanks so much.”

             
“I can’t believe you’re twenty-one today!” her dad said. It was barely
today
on the West Coast. Dylan leaned her head down against the marble counter. Her eyes were burning.

             
“Have fun getting shitfaced tonight…legally for once,” Taylor announced.

             
“Language, Taylor,” their mom warned in disgust. “Happy birthday—”

             
“I guess I’ll be the only underage drinker in the house!” Taylor said, giggling. “Happy birthday, Dyl…doe.”

             
“Off the phone now, Taylor Price Carroll,” their dad said sternly.

             
“Whatever,” Taylor shouted, but she did get off the phone. Dylan wanted to kill her sister. When she got back to school, she decided that she would have a talk with her parents about Taylor. About herself. About everything. She suspected the whole Carroll family needed to re-evaluate how they were all adjusting to Mac being gone. And maybe how to get better at it.

             
“Honey…I guess it’s too late to have a talk about alcohol, and I specifically remember us having a talk about it, but you’re not overdoing it, are you?” her dad said with concern laced through his words.

             
“In moderation, guys,” Dylan muttered. “And I won’t overdo it tonight either.”

“Is Taylor really drinking? Have we been that clueless
again
lately? We’ve been trying to get her to talk to us,” her dad explained. “She hasn’t really done anything since the arrest, so we figured…”

             
Dylan sighed. “I don’t know anything, Dad…” It was a genuine response; she didn’t know if this was just Taylor trying to get a rise out of their parents or an actual cry for help. There was a time when her sister would confide in her because they were actually friends, but that felt like ages ago.

“Okay…well, have a great time in Vegas with your friends. Please b
e safe. Love you,” her mom said, and there was light disappointment in her tone. Dylan had never spent a birthday away from home before. She was always on a break from school when it happened. She owed them a thorough explanation of herself, and it would be part of their whole family’s talk.

“Dyl?”

“Yeah, Mom?”

“We really, really do love you, you know that, right? We love you, as is, every day, forever. Everything about who you are.”

“Yeah. Love you, guys, too. Bye.” As Dylan ended the call, she caught the sounds of whispering and heard the room door close quietly. She had probably woken both girls up in the process of climbing out of bed. One of them giggled and the other told her to shut up. Dylan furrowed her brow in curiosity before she washed her face and brushed her teeth.

When she pulled the bathroom door open, the light in the room switched on. She screamed at the ambush of smiling faces. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” they all yelled. It was Wes, Abel, Kai, Leko, Ribsy and the girls. Jamie was holding a
white sheet cake and Odette was clutching an unopened bottle of champagne.

“Jesus!” Dylan clutched her chest, falling back against the bathroom door. “Well, thank goodness I’m wearing pants,”
she hissed at Jamie and Odette playfully.

             
“That is nothing to be thankful about!” Wes said. “Come get this birthday lovin,’ girl.” He held his arms open, and once she was in them, the rest of the group piled on. Dylan felt so much gratitude for them welcoming her into their circle the way they had. Jamie served cake and poured champagne for everyone even though it was barely 9 A.M.

             
“I’m glad you and the Elliotts made up,” she said to Kai, who was standing at the window away from the chatter. “How’d it go?”

             
“Quick talk and apology from me. I told them I’d explain in more depth later.” Kai dropped a light kiss on her cheek and her skin tingled. They hadn’t shared a moment like that since Maui. “Happy birthday, beautiful.” Kai wiped frosting from the side of her mouth with his thumb and licked it off. He didn’t seem like himself though. He had to be masking the pain she had caused him, and that was tying her stomach in knots of regret, and breaking her heart.

She clutched his hand in hers. “Is everything okay? I’m so sorry. You know that, right? You know how sorry I am, don’t you?”

              Kai kissed the back of her hand and held his lips there momentarily. “Yeah, I do. I really do.” He kissed her fingers and closed his eyes. “I hope you have a great birthday, Dyl.” But something instinctual told her that he was holding his true feelings back and she didn’t blame him. She hadn’t exactly handled them well the last go round. They both turned when Leko expelled a piercing whistle. Ribsy hoisted Odette to a standing position on the bed and she waved her arms. “Okay, pack your shit!” she yelled. “It’s time to go to Vegas!”

The shot girl put the bottom of the clear test tube shooter in her mouth, angling the opening toward Dylan. Dylan put her mouth on it with the encouragement of the crowd as the shot girl dipped her backward. A rush of dizziness hit her when she was back upright. Everyone in the room screamed.

“You okay?” Wes asked as he caught her before she fell back. She was tipsy, but most of her disorientation was coming from being in Vegas for the first time. No one was having the same reaction to the city like she was. No one else had looked like a deer in the headlights when the bellboy had escorted them to
the suites atop the Bellagio resort and casino. The two rooms overlooking the Las Vegas Strip were beyond extravagant: two bedrooms separate from gigantic dining and living rooms, a hot tub, a fireplace and a wet bar, in each suite. She would’ve protested if they were going to be there for more than two nights. But, apparently, this was how Kai and his friends did New Year’s Eve. It was one night in the year and was worth the conspicuous consumption.

“I’m okay! But I am officially done f
or the evening,” Dylan assured Wes. “Dance with me, now.” The music was getting louder, drowning out the surrounding voices. There were so many people moving between the connected suites, most of whom she had never seen before, but Odette said they were “friends” of hers. Anyone was a friend when there was free booze and food involved. Thank goodness they had hired security for the party.

“I like it when you’re bossy, Dylan. Say it again,” Wes said, squeezing her hand and she frowned at him. He swung her around in the swarm of bodies, and they both chuckled at Jamie and Abel feeling each other up and making out against a wall in the corner.

“What’s up with them, anyway? Are they together or what?” she asked, slipping her arms around Wes’ neck.

“What. The
y’re a ‘what,’” Wes said, nodding. “Their story is similar to one you may know. Guy and girl are way into each other, but one of them is holding back ‘cause he’s a douche.”

“Oh, I see,” Dylan said as she pur
sed her lips and frowned at her two friends. She looked backed at Wes. “Am I the douche in the situation I’m familiar with?”

“…No comment,” Wes said, staring at her bare shoulder. Dylan was wearing a black one sleeve mini dress and every guy she had danced with had seemed interested in just that little showing of skin.

“It’s complicated, Wes. My life is hardly my own these days,” Dylan muttered after a sigh.

“What’s complicated about a guy being all sad then hopping over a railing and leaving a nightclub full of girls essentially begging him to sleep with them to go be with one at a hotel who was probably in baggy PJs and Granny panti
es?” Wes said after he scoffed and gave her an incredulous look.

“We will not be discussing my underwear any further, sir.” It was said in true Wes fashion, but it wasn’t
untrue
, and she was screwing something wonderful up.

“Wes!” A woman was at their side suddenly, grabbing for him like a
toddler who wanted to be picked up. She looked Dylan over once, her gaze flicking across the “Birthday Girl” sash draped over her dress. “Oh, this is your party?”

“Something like that.”

“Great. Happy, um, birthday,” she said quickly with disinterest before turning back to Wes. “You guys together?”

“He wishes. Guess that’s my cue…” Dylan said with a chuckle and a headshake. She wandered around the room and wondered where Kai was. She hadn’t seen him since the party started. He had surprised the patrons of one of The Strip’s bars with an impromptu solo performance earlier when they first arrived. Good performance but he was distracted. She squeezed through the throng to get to one of the bedrooms to get her cell. There were a bunch of missed calls, and she had already talked to Kate and Winslow, who had rung in the New Year in New York earlier. All the missed calls turned out to be from Kai.

“Can you meet me outside?” he asked when she called him back.

“Why are you outside?”

“Just get out here. Meet me across the street,” Kai said in a playful demand.

“Leave my party?” Dylan ran Odette’s paddle brush through her hair and patted sweat off her forehead. “Where are we going? We’re counting down in, like, two hours.”

“We’re not going on a bank robbing spree, Dyl. We’ll be back.” Kai hung up, probably to avoid more of her objections. She groaned in frustration and walked out the hotel room, took the elevator down to the ground floor and exited the hotel. The suites used a private elevator that allowed her to bypass the casino.

Kai waved when she reached the other side of the street, and a feeling of delight swirled all the way up from her toes. No matter how many times she saw him
, that same feeling always washed over her, along with peace and serenity
,
things she hadn’t felt for a long time before him.
She ran in slow motion toward him without caring if people were
staring. Kai laughed and mimicked until they were about two feet away from each other. Dylan jumped into his arms and he spun her around. The people sitting on the patio of the restaurant at the Paris Las Vegas, the
Mon Ami Gabi
, cheered.