Documentary (48 page)

Dylan’s eyes widened and she mouthed the word like she had never heard it before. Professor Jordan would be so disappointed in her, but then Dylan
paused. Her job was due to end anyway. She smiled, cautiously optimistic. “Okay, ma’am. I understand.”

“And it just so happens that I’ll be too busy in the next few days to inform any of the people I recommended you to and wrote references on your behalf for, which is really unfortunate for me.”

Dylan smiled wider for a beat—Nina was letting her off the hook—but she quickly turned serious. “May I ask about the web series? What will happen to it? Because I know the real reason why Kai and Jeremy got into a fight but I can’t say. You can’t use it to help him,” Dylan said matter-of-factly.

Nina groaned with impatience. “I understand that you care about him, and it may be something you think you need to protect him from, but I’m familiar with the industry, I’m managing his career and I know what can make and break it.
Right now, this is breaking it. I’ve had to deal with lost endorsements and terminated contracts. It’s important that I lessen the impact of what he did. I’m letting things slide because you still did your work
well
in spite of…what was going on between you and Kai, but… ” Nina’s voice trailed off before she sighed impatiently. “I won’t turn it over to you until I know what the fight was really over and draw my own conclusions. You’re emotionally involved now, and you’re not seeing things clearly.”

“I can tell you that I agree with Kai that it’s not worth it. It’s bigger than him.”

“And you think you’re in the position to make a decision like that?” Her tone wasn’t snippy but filled with curiosity.

Before Dylan could speak, two beeps sounded in her ear, a signal that she had a call coming in. Maybe it was Kai. She could only hope. “Nina, can I please put you on hold for a second?” Without waiting for her permission, Dylan
looked at the screen as anxiety filled her chest. Sure enough, Kai’s name was on it. Dylan jumped to a standing position and clicked over.

“Kai? I’m so glad you—”

A girl’s nervous laughter pressed into the receiver. “Actually, it’s not Kai. It’s Erica…Evigan. Hi.”

“Um, h
i. Is Kai all right? Did something happen to him?”

“No! No! He’s fine. He’s actually moping around the city somewhere, and he’s not very good with managing his cell phone. Anyway, are you free to talk?”

“Yeah, sure. Can I put you on hold really fast? I have someone on the other line. I’ll be right back.”

“Sure. No problem.”

Dylan fanned her face from the sudden rush of intense heat. There was a lot going on right now. She switched back to Nina and told her she had a family emergency and had to go but she would call her back soon.

“He’s really moping around New York?” she asked when she clicked back over to Erica. Well, at least they had that in common.

“He has eaten everything in my apartment. He watched
Real Housewives of…
something something all day yesterday,” Erica said, laughing. “I made him leave. I couldn’t take it. It’s bad enough that the paparazzi were stalking the building. I think he went to the studio. He misses you, you know—I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry, Dylan, we haven’t even been officially introduced.”

“I miss him too. I’m glad he’s okay…but how come you’re calling?” Dylan looked behind her to make sure the
glass door was still closed. Erica wasn’t ready to talk to Jamie, and Dylan didn’t want to expose her again the way she had before.

“It’s actually about me. I called for me. To ask you a question. It might be too much to ask from a girl you don’t even know at all, but I was wondering if you could change your flight to Miami and come a day early? I’ll cover any cost. I’ll have a hotel suite. You can stay if you want. I hope you’ll say yes. I think you might be the only person who can help me with what I need done.”

The city of Miami was electric. There was a vibe about it that Dylan felt when she exited the airport. It was probably because she knew Kai was somewhere in it. Now came the waiting and hoping, the figuring out how to win back the guy she wanted to be with. After being in line fifteen minutes for a cab, she gave the driver the address to Erica’s hotel, the Loews Miami Beach. She was biting her lip the entire ride. Erica had been vague about what she wanted, and Dylan was racking her brain trying to figure out what she could do to help Erica with whatever she needed.

Dylan gasped when the cab took a causeway over water as they crossed into South Beach, and she got a panoramic city view of the skyscrapers, buildings and cruise ships. When the cab pulled up in front of the Loews, and the valet opened the door for her, Dylan sent Erica a text, and she quickly replied with her room number. Erica had disappointed her when she insisted that Kai wouldn’t be there, but she couldn’t help being hopeful. It wasn’t lost on Dylan as she knocked on Erica’s door, that the two of them had “met” in a hotel room before.

Erica opened the door with a bright smile. She was stunning with her hair up in a bun and a tribal print strapless maxi dress. “Hi. I’m so glad you’re here.” She stepped out of the way so Dylan could come in
, and directed her toward a couch with a view of the beach as a backdrop.

“Do you want anything to drink? There’s a cool coffeemaker. You want room service? My job was cool with me being in this suite for the week, and I’m trying to make use of everything while I’m here.” She giggled. She was being friendly but Dylan could tell she was nervous, too, when she sat.

“Water’s fine.” Dylan gestured slightly at the pitcher on the coffee table. She reached for it and poured herself a glass. “Um, so, I feel obligated to apologize for how I acted the last time we saw each other. I assumed something I shouldn’t have.”

Erica waved her hand
and laughed. “It’s okay. I’m sure it looked odd. Kai was practically naked.” She scrunched her nose. “Sorry. I’ve known him since I was seventeen. There’s nothing appealing about his naked body to me.” She laughed. “It’s
Kai.
I went to the hotel because I was worried about him getting in more trouble.” Erica took a sip from her glass of water then plucked a piece of fruit out and ate it. “Then, I found out he knocked Chase Bunyan around over
you
. He’s an idiot for not going after you that day. He moped then too. You’ve gotten to him
bad
, girl.”

Dylan blushed when Erica giggled. “He thought I had betrayed him
, and I had,” Dylan explained. “And he was concerned about protecting you. He cares about you a lot, which only made me a little crazier, I think.”

“He cares, yes, and I love him for it, but he blames himself for what happened to me,” Erica said, folding her legs under her as she shook her head. “He
carries so much around with him. He blames himself for a lot of things. He thinks his dad left and was a jerk because he wasn’t good enough, as if an alcoholic loves anything except drinking. He blames himself for his mom dying— ”

“Why does he blame himself for his mom…it was breast cancer.” Dylan set her glass on the coffee table.

“Poor kid. When he was little and living near Nashville, Kai wanted his dad to love him because he adored him. Despite everything Butch did to them—the beatings, the yelling, and the disappearing—he adored him. Sometimes the people we love do nothing to deserve it. I have fucked up parents, so I get it.” She shrugged. “He thought maybe if he did what Butch did and learned to play the guitar, Butch would stop drinking and stop being an asshole, and actually love him back. When Butch would go to work, Kai would climb up on a chair, pull Butch’s guitar off the shelf and play it. He’s pretty much self-taught. He was hoping someday to show him how good he was getting, and
maybe
it would give Butch a reason to be nicer, or hit them less at least. One day, his mom startled him when he was putting it back. He fell off the chair, the guitar fell too, and the guitar’s neck broke.”

Dylan covered her gasp with her hand. “Oh my gosh.”

“Mmmhmm.” Erica nodded. “Yup and that’s why they went to Lake Lure, North Carolina. He loved it there. It was a total escape from reality. I think Hop knew if Butch was capable of loving anything that wasn’t in the bottom of a bottle, it was that guitar. And I think she knew Butch would kill her son if they stayed—she went back to him, but I think she recognized the immediate danger.

“
Anyway, she packed up immediately, they walked, like, ten miles to the bus station and left before he got home. Kai blames himself because the free clinic near their house had finally been able to schedule a mammogram for her that week, and Kai thinks if she had been able to get it back then, the doctors would’ve caught the cancer early. He thinks if he had been a better kid, not someone who stole his father’s guitar, not someone who was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, not being Butch basically, she would’ve had a longer life. He also thinks his family realized he was Butch’s kid, and suspected that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and figured he was not worth having around after Hop died.”

Dylan’s tears welled up, but she suppressed her cry.
His past explained so much better why he had created the charity. Maybe it was also why he distanced himself so much from it, too. In his mind, he didn’t want to hurt his mother the way he felt he had before. She was distraught that he was holding on to all of this, and it was very similar to what she was dealing with. The guilt. Kai was right; he did know her.

“
I think even today he doesn’t realize he’s doing for me what his mom did for him. Kai, of all people, understands sacrificing for someone you care about better than he thinks. Better than maybe you think.” She gave Dylan a knowing look, indicating she was familiar with how Dylan had been pushing him away.

“I
bet a lot of what happened in Vegas, which he is absolutely devastated about, by the way, was his frustration over understanding sacrifice and having guilt, but also being afraid of losing you the way he has everyone else. He worries about you a lot, you know. From the beginning.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Nina Sanchez, because she doesn’t know about…” Erica paused and looked down at her hands. Dylan finally saw the engagement ring on her finger. “…She has been getting on Kai for ‘messing up my career,’ as if we had a thing going on, we broke up, and then I completely fell apart. She never bought the ‘just friends’ theory. She thinks he’s the reason I left the company, and she told him that he better not do that with you. I’m sure that’s where her ban on fraternization came from because it didn’t exist before. It’s nearly impossible in the entertainment industry, and you’re a freelancer essentially, anyway. She’s holding her beliefs about Kai and me against you and him. Kai knew she was wrong about me, but it’s all twisted up in his belief that he was to blame for what Jeremy did, and that his own actions that night had led to it, so he was scared he would mess things up for you, too. I think he really intended to keep his distance and keep things professional because he really liked your work. He told me he really tried after the Lava Surf party, but he liked you, and he couldn’t stay away.”

“Wow…” Dylan said as she reflected on some past moments between them, where Kai had seemed
to pull away or conflicted in his dealings with her. “Do you mind my asking what happened in L.A.? He punched a hole in a wall after meeting up with you.”

“Sure,” Erica said, nodding. “It was just
a bad night for me at this party I was invited to. I ran into freaking Adam Scott and Chase Bunyan, and I panicked and thought Jeremy was going to be there, too. I just needed to get out. I knew Kai was in L.A., and he was the only person I thought to call. I was in a bad state. We sat in my car, he held my hand, and I was hyperventilating the entire time. And I decided after
that night,
no more.” She looked down and shook her head. “If I was going to have to share life space with him in this world, I would hold my head up high. No more fear. No more.” Erica turned her head toward the balcony. “Can we go sit out there? It’s such a beautiful evening. Do you mind?”

Dylan shook her head, picked up the pitcher as Erica grabbed their glasses and they moved outside.

“Well, I should probably tell you why you’re here, and believe it or not, it isn’t on Kai’s behalf at all. Well, at least it wasn’t initially,” Erica said with a kind smile as they sat in the chairs, but it shifted to a faint smile below blank eyes. “It’s weird…it’s much easier to talk about the rape with someone I don’t really know than it is with my own friends. Kai told me you sort of figured it out on your own, what happened to me.”

“I’m so sorry for telling Jamie about your call in L.A.,” Dylan began, her heart racing. “But I didn’t tell anyone about—”

“It’s fine,” Erica said kindly, squeezing her arm. “And I’m so tired of living in the shadows, you know. I shouldn’t feel ashamed. I’ve pushed my friends away and ignored their calls, I’ve left my fiancé, I uprooted my entire life, and my best friend’s career is in trouble. Everyone’s life changed except the person who actually caused this, the person who
should
feel ashamed!” Erica smiled bitterly. “Do you know what my lowest point was? I was actually upset that Kai didn’t kill Jeremy in that alley. I thought Jeremy Bunyan being dead and my best friend going to prison for murder was a better alternative. Can you believe that? I wanted Kai to be the one thing he has struggled with his whole life—Butch. Jeremy has been bleeding me of all my happiness, and I’ve been patching my wounds up with rage and anger. Rage and anger I’ve had since that morning I woke up and couldn’t clearly remember several hours of my life.”