Documentary (50 page)

Save Yourself – Chapter 24

Winterven
tion hosted a second weekend in January and advertised it to people itching to get away from their families after the holidays, and to coincide with the annual Music Business Conference, which would begin the following week. Erica was a fashion and indie music writer, and she was covering both events. She dropped Dylan off at the hotel where Kai’s entourage and crew were the following day.

             
“Thanks so much, Dylan,” she yelled out the passenger window. “So I guess I’ll see you later.”

             
“Yup. Well…me and everyone else. All your friends are going to be there,” Dylan informed her, smiling with the hope that she would join them if she wanted, and she suddenly had a thought. “We’re in reserved tents ten, eleven and twelve, and they’re just for friends and guests.” Dylan pulled off her VIP pass and dropped it into the passenger seat. “I can get another one from Ashley. You’re invited if you want to come, obviously.”

             
Erica picked it up and a small smile landed on her face. “Oh…yeah. I figured. We had talked about going together before…a longtime ago…”

“They miss you,” Dylan said before she could stop herself.

Erica smiled wider. “Thanks for this,” she said as she looped the pass around her neck. “See ya there.”

             
Dylan said goodbye as the car pulled off. Her heart raced in anticipation of talking to Kai, and she had sort of figured out everything she wanted to say. Picking Kai was picking herself. It was giving a deprived heart what it was craving: happiness, freedom, love. She was also going to have to make peace with Mac. It was time to release him and be released, too, in the process. Dylan pulled out her cell phone and started typing.

“Mac, I’m not going to be able to do this much anymore. It’s unfair to you and really unfair to me. For whatever reason that I’ll never understand, you had to go. I’m sorry you never got to go to law school, start a charity, build a school, go to Venezuela and see my major directorial debut. No matter what I do, I’ll never be able to give you the life you should’ve had. I can only make sure to give myself a good one in the time I
have. I miss you so much. I love you always.”

Dylan sent it to her email drafts and took the time to delete all the others, one by one, feeling a little
more relieved each time the number went down. Going forward, she had to allow him to exist within her heart only.  She loved Mac but she was thinking maybe she loved Kai too. For such a short word, it was a complex feeling. It could be holding on or letting go. Giving up or fighting for. She left only that last message and dried her eyes before she walked into the lobby. Ashley waved her over. Her usual snarl had been replaced with something that was arguably a pleasant smile. Dylan tentatively smiled back.

“We’re just waiting for the two other buses to fill up at a gas station. Kai and the guys went ahead with
Kutch’s crew because they were at a party at his hotel last night,” Ashley explained. “So, you actually told Nina about you and Kai.”

“I said I would, didn’t I?” Dylan said, ignoring her disappointment that Kai wasn’t there. Her mind floated to the debauchery he might’ve gotten into with J.Kutch. That sucked. Ashley smiled wider in silence and she got a
mysterious look in her eyes as the two tour buses pulled up in front of the hotel.

“Maybe I wasn’t completely right about you,” she admitted as they got on a bus.

“Yeah, maybe,” Dylan said with a distracted smile. Ashley was discussing something Dylan didn’t care to listen to, but she nodded every few minutes to fake interest as she reflected on her conversation with Erica. She had told her about Dan Middleton’s production company and how she wanted to apply. They would work out the details, but Erica liked the possibility of her story being a part of some project.

Wintervention Redux was being held at a
large park in downtown Miami, right on the edges of Biscayne Bay. The scenery was stunning, with the park sandwiched between the gorgeous, shimmery blues of the sky and water, and the sun-washed silver of the skyscrapers. The crowd was charged up like it had been at the first weekend, on the bright, warm afternoon. After getting off the bus, Dylan strode to the tents Kai had reserved for everyone. After a round of hugs, Dylan accepted the Corona that Jamie rammed against her palm, and she sat in the empty chair next to Abel. Jamie plopped down on his lap and glared at a girl hovering near the edge of the tent trying to get his attention.

“You talk to him yet?” Jamie asked.

Dylan shook her head as she lifted the bottle to her lips. She had sent him a text and called from Erica’s hotel suite but got no answer. He was probably in J.Kutch’s tent because he knew she was in his. He was probably talking to someone who wouldn’t have a problem choosing him. “Hopefully today because I leave for San Francisco in a few days.”

“Oh no, I forgot,” Jamie said, pouting. Abel turned away from his conversation with Leko and dropped his hand on Dylan’s shoulder.

“We’re going to miss you!” Abel said loudly. “But you’re welcome to come hang out with me and Wesley whenever you’re in L.A., okay?” His voice drew Wes and Leko, and they echoed his sentiments. She would miss them all too. She was grateful to be surrounded by so much love and friendship. It finally dawned on her how much she had opted for focusing on what she had lost instead of appreciating what she still had…and what she had gained over the past several weeks.

The tent went silent suddenly in an
unnerving way before the voices rose again with mumblings. Everyone was staring in the same direction but blocking her and Jamie’s view. They both stood and Dylan gasped when she saw Erica standing there.

“Uh, hey…everybody,” Erica said
in a chirpy tone, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Mind if I crash?” Dylan could almost hear the wild, collective thudding of their hearts.

“Yeah, come on in, E,” Wes said. “It’s good to see
you.” He gestured at the chair he had been sitting in. “You wanna sit?”

“There’s
, uh, tons of food,” Jamie chimed in, looking nervous. She was staring at Erica like her appearance might have been some ephemeral, supernatural event. “Potato salad, um, cubed cheese…”

“Thanks, guys,” Erica said, looking relieved as she trotted in. “It’s good to see all of you. I know it’s been a while.”

“E, you’re always welcome here, you know that,” Leko said in a resolute and reassuring tone, but he was working really hard to mask his surprise as well.

“Thanks, Lek,” she said, smiling at him, and his eyes trailed her as she continued toward Dylan. “The party isn’t supposed to
stop
when I get here.” There was a slight ease in the tension as they all laughed. Erica embraced her old friends, talking to each quietly for a few seconds. Dylan smiled, hopeful that all of them would get back to as close to how things used to be as they could get someday.

Jamie started tugging on Dylan’s arm, pulling her toward their huddle. “E, have you met Dylan Carroll? She’s Kai’s—”

              “Web series director,” Erica said, winking at Dylan. “She’s the reason I’m here, actually.”

             
“I was going to say girlfriend, but I guess that works, too,” Jamie said, shrugging. Dylan slammed her elbow into her friend’s side. “Ow! Well, we’re clearly going to see more of you after your job is over, so I figured it was time to start calling you by your new title.” Dylan wished it were that simple.

             
Wes threw his hands in the air before his shoulders drooped. He looked devastated. “Well, I’m at a loss. You and Kai? This entire time? I thought
we
had something.”

             
“Good to see that you’re still in love with every girl you know,” Erica said, rolling her eyes at him.

“And still never loved back,” Wes said
, adding a dramatic sigh.

“Dylan, can we talk?” Erica aske
d as she reached out to touch her arm lightly. “Please bring your camera.” She smiled at each of her friends. “We have a lot of catching up to do, but I’m actually working. Can I call you guys soon? Maybe go out for lunch or something if we’re all in the same place?”

Everyone responded with
the kind of answers indicating that she shouldn’t have even bothered to ask the question because the answer was obvious. Dylan had been right about them. They were good people, and when Erica was ready to talk to them about what had happened in Thailand, they would listen, and Dylan really hoped that they would believe her. She also thought that their friends were probably wondering how they knew each other already, but there was no time to explain before she trailed her out of the tent and into the chaotic festival. The Finlay Peterson Band was on the main stage, and the audience was packed tightly in the amphitheater. Dylan followed Erica’s winding path through the crowd, moving past tents, vendors and people camped out on the grass, until Erica finally stopped when they were in an area of the park that was less congested and close to Biscayne Bay. Dylan had sneaked glances at the tents as they were walking to see if one of them just happened to be J.Kutch’s with Kai in it, but she hadn’t spotted him, Heath or Xavier. She doubted he would answer if she called again. Kai wasn’t due to perform for another several hours so he could’ve been anywhere.

“I tried your cell, but I guess you couldn’t hear over the noise. I was supposed to do a
short video for the Wintervention special on our website, but my cameraman called about an hour ago, said he had an emergency, and can’t make it. I could make the recording myself on my little camera, but I’m terrible at filming myself. Could I borrow you?”

“Of course.”
Dylan had figured Kai wouldn’t call her, so she had simply not bothered to check her phone. She yanked her camcorder out of the bag but didn’t turn it on.

Erica clapped enthusiastically. “Great! It’s scripted, and I have a
mike. I’ll only be talking for about two and a half, three minutes. I want the Bay in the background, and then if you could pan around until the festival is in the shot, that’d be great. I’ll talk a little and that’s it. The rest of the content will be my article and still photography, and I can take care of that myself.”

“Okay, sure. Sounds—” Suddenly a figure was at Dylan’s side, and she cringed when she turned her head. Chase Bunyan had joined them. He reeked of booze and carried that same disgruntled, vicious glare from the bar in New York that seemed meant for anyone he had a perceived problem with. Another guy, who Dylan guessed was Adam Scott, was hovering a few feet away.

“Kai White’s two favorite girls,” Chase said, swiveling his gaze between them as he leered. Using his beer bottle, he pointed at both of them. “So tell me…” he said, licking his lips, “…who does what?”

Dylan’s shoulders tensed and she tightened her grip on the camcorder. She was done being bullied by anyone with the surname Bunyan. “I’ll make it easier. Here’s something you should already know the answer to, what Kai White’s fists does to faces…like yours,” Dylan said
before smirking. “I think he made some improvements.” She didn’t
really
like Kai fighting, but it was worth seeing Chase squirm and not have a response. His injuries had healed, but clearly, his ego had not. Dylan rotated completely and realized that they had picked a spot very close to some of the tents. If Chase was here, so was Jeremy, who was performing some time today. And as soon as she completed the thought, her gaze locked on him.

“Chill the fuck out, Chase,” Jeremy said,
after approaching them too, with his bodyguards stalking nearby. He dropped a hand on his brother’s shoulder, but he kept a firm stare focused on Erica. Dylan whipped her head in Erica’s direction. “Hey, guys…” he said to them.

“We should go,” Erica said, never taking her eyes off Jeremy
either. They narrowed and she shook her head in disgust. She never shrank back, and she looked fearless, angry and strong. Jeremy’s jaw tensed, irritation teasing at his calm exterior. Dylan’s own anger grew and she clutched her hand into a fist. He had wanted Erica to be afraid when she saw him.
Sick fuck. He’s a really sick fuck.

“Yeah. Let’s,” Dylan breathed out as her heart thrashed her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed J.Kutch watching them
, but she and Erica simply spun around and walked away.

“Bye, Erica,” Jeremy called out with a lilt, and Dylan’s heart smashed down into her shoes as rage
filled her blood. He was a fucking evil asshole. He was openly taunting her. Erica growled before she rounded Dylan and went straight up to him. At first, Dylan thought she might strike him from the way Erica raised her hand suddenly, but she was using it to point in his face, still the bodyguards moved in.

“Don’t you
ever
say my goddamn name again!” Erica shouted. “Don’t fucking talk to me or look my way! Just remember that nobody is untouchable, Jeremy.”              

J.Kutch slipped past them with an angry look on his face and disappeared into the crowd just as Erica was storming away from a stunned Jeremy. Dylan chased after her, and they didn’t stop walking until a mighty throng had filled the space between them and Jeremy. Erica turned to her, and she was out of breath but not irate anymore.
She actually seemed at peace.