Dominated (10 page)

She stroked his thighs with both hands just as he’d done to her after her orgasm. Soothing him.

When he could finally think again, he knelt before her and pulled her into his embrace between her legs.

They both breathed heavily against each other.

Finally, he pulled back and set his forehead against hers. “Thank you, Kathleen. That was beautiful.”

She flinched and looked away, swallowing hard.

He let her go. She needed space. He’d overwhelmed her senses for long enough.

She stood and paced the ground, less conscious of her nudity than earlier.

She ran a hand through her tussled hair, pushing the long locks out of her face. “Can we go?” she asked.

“Of course.” He worried about her as he stood. She seemed distraught.

She shifted quickly, leaving him in human form for several moments as he watched her fidget. It had been her way of escaping. Her wolf body relaxed visibly. Did she feel clothed in her fur? Somehow less vulnerable? Perhaps.

He shifted too and led her back toward the house at a pace much more leisurely than earlier.

When they reached the porch, the house was still quiet. No one was home. The late afternoon sun indicated his parents would still be at the gathering hosting the wolves in attendance.

Kathleen shifted back to human form and hastily stepped inside. She grabbed her clothing from the bin by the door and donned every stitch as though there were a fire. She didn’t look at him.

What had he done to evoke this response? He worried as he watched her. Had he overwhelmed her with his dominance? The blowjob? The masturbation? They entire package? Or something else entirely?

“I need to go,” she muttered as she slipped her sandals on.

Go? What the hell?
“Kath, we should talk.” He groaned and leaned against the door. He’d pushed her, but she’d been aroused the entire time.

“I need to think. I need space. This is so overwhelming.” She looked around as though searching for something she’d lost, not making eye contact with him.

When he reached for her, she jumped back. “Don’t. When you touch me, I lose myself.”

She loses herself?
Is that how he made her feel?

“I think you’re confusing losing yourself with letting yourself go, relaxing into a place of pleasure.” He gulped. “Please stay.”

He’d never felt so vulnerable in his life. He’d do anything to fix whatever was wrong. Anything. He’d even try vanilla for a while if it made her happy. “Talk to me.”

Finally, she turned toward him and lifted her gaze. “Later. Gabriel, I need to think. This is a huge step for me. Monstrous. Not at all expected. Please, give me some time.” She walked out the back door and he stared after her, unable to move a muscle.

Where would she go? Home? She didn’t have a car as far as he knew. She’d surely come with her family this morning, which meant she’d need to go find them and leave with them. A spot in his chest ached at her loss.

He moaned as he turned toward the stairs and climbed to the second floor, not caring for an instant he was completely naked.

What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

Kathleen found her parents’ car easily and slunk into the back seat, praying they would emerge soon and take her home. She wasn’t about to go inside the meeting hall and look for them.

First of all, she must look a mess. Second of all, anyone with any sense would be able to see she was mated now. She must reek of Gabriel Albertson. Ugh.

She shivered, even though it was hot in the back seat. She wrapped her arms around her and didn’t even bother to finger comb her messy hair—just-fucked hair that hung over her face and hid her expression from the world.

She hadn’t been kidding. Her mind was swimming. She needed time and space.

This claiming had been nothing like what she’d expected or ever witnessed with other wolves. The powerful feelings she had when she was with him made her nervous. She could easily lose herself entirely with him.

What did that say about her? Was she really that weak?

She leaned her head against her palms and rubbed her temples as a headache formed behind both eyes.

The image of him claiming her—mind, body and soul—wouldn’t shake. She was sure it would be even worse if she had a movie reel of what had really happened. Her ability to remember specifics was watered down by her complete submission to her body’s reactions to his advances.

Ohmygod. What the hell have I done?

Had she really just masturbated for him and then given him a blowjob? She couldn’t believe her actions. It was as though she hadn’t been controlling herself. She’d been drawn to him by an unknown force. Was that a mate thing? Or a dominance thing? In either case, it had frightened her when she’d realized what she had done. And, to be honest, she was embarrassed. Partially by what she’d done and partially by her complete and utter submission to his whims.

Could she get out of this now? Leave him and never return?

She squirmed. Not likely. She knew it could be done. Some wolves had left their mates on rare occasions of abuse or neglect. Could she leave him out of a fear of losing herself?

She didn’t think there was a chance in hell she could convince him to give up his dominant ways. Besides, just thinking about his intense gaze, his firm hands, his knowing commands made her wet all over again.

She would never be able to stop the spiral into submission that would be her life if she stayed with him. And that alone frightened her to death.

She startled when the front door opened and her mother leaned inside. “Kathleen? Honey? Are you okay?” She shut the door and switched to the back seat, opening the opposite side and climbing into the heat. “It’s so hot in here. Why didn’t you open a window at least?”

Kathleen didn’t look up. She steadied her breath and considered what she was going to tell this woman who’d raised her, who knew everything about her life up until this point.

She didn’t want her mother to know about Gabriel’s dominance or her body’s reaction to it. She couldn’t begin to discuss it with her own mom. Why hadn’t she considered this problem earlier?

“Why are you out here alone?” she asked in the most soothing soft voice Kathleen had ever heard. Her mother’s hand landed on the seat beside Kathleen, but she didn’t touch her daughter.

Kathleen was thankful for her mom’s ability to sense the need for space.

“Talk to me, sweetie. Tell me what happened? You’re shivering.” She took a deep breath. “I know you mated with Gabriel. I saw you with him when I came to look for you. You were heading back to his house. I’m so happy for you. Should I not be?”

Kathleen shook her head. “I’m fine. Just needed some space,” she muttered, hoping her explanation would be sufficient.

“That’s . . . unconventional you know. Once you’re claimed, it’s not easy to walk away. Did he hurt you?”

Kathleen shook her head again, more forcefully this time. “Of course not.”
Not physically. I’m more worried about what he might do to me mentally over time if I give him that opportunity
. Already, she was lost in a vortex that allowed her no other thoughts except those that were about him. His scent, his lips, his deep blue eyes that reminded her of the sea.

“Do you need me to go find him?”

“No,” she blurted. “Please, Mom. Can’t you just let it go? I need to sleep on it.”

There was a pause before she spoke again. “I doubt you’ll be able to do that. Nor will he. Newly mated couples don’t separate, Kathleen. The draw is too strong.” She paused again. “If there’s some reason why you shouldn’t be mated to him, I need you to tell me. If not, we’ll take you home and let you figure it out if that’s what you want to do.”

“I’m just so young and inexperienced. He . . . isn’t. I need a good night’s sleep in my own bed before I make a decision.”

Her mother chuckled. “Okay. . ." Her voice trailed off. “You can give it a shot.” She climbed out of the car and moments later all three other doors opened. Her sister took the seat next to her, her father and mother in front. No one said a word. By silent agreement, they gave her a mile of leeway. She was never more relieved of anything in her life.

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Kathleen bolted from the car and headed straight for her room. She shut the door and stood in the middle of the floor turning in a slow circle. The world as she’d known it twelve hours ago ceased to exist. She didn’t see anything the same as she had this morning.

Her childhood room wasn’t a baby’s room. It wasn’t that. She was a grown woman and had updated her space recently to reflect that, but nevertheless she felt out of place here, as though she no longer belonged.

She shuffled to her desk and fingered the stack of papers neatly lying in the center. Applications for jobs. Her acceptance letter that had just come in the mail days ago saying a position was available for her this fall at Kings Elementary teaching second grade.

She’d been so excited. Now? Could she even take the job?

She plopped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling fan as it whirled in a slow circle to circulate the air.

Visualizing herself in the life she’d known yesterday was difficult. She’d graduated from college weeks ago, finishing her student teaching requirements before most of her classmates were done with school.

What if she threw it all away and left town with Gabriel Albertson? How long before she didn’t recognize herself anymore? How quickly would he transform her into someone she didn’t want to be? She shuddered. She’d never visualized herself as someone who would allow themselves to be manipulated by another. She was stronger than that. Wasn’t she?

A knock at the door made her cringe. A moment later, her mother walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. “You want to talk about it?”

“No.” What was she supposed to tell her mother? She’d already fretted over this problem in the car.

“I
am
mated, you know. I might be able to help.”

Kathleen glanced over to see her mother’s wry smile.

“I know he already claimed you, honey. It’s done. Sex can be . . . difficult the first time. Is that what’s worrying you?”

She so didn’t want a lecture about sex from her mother. She groaned and rolled away from her to face the wall.

“Was he too rough? Sometimes men, especially wolves under the mating influence, can be less than perfect when they claim their mates. It doesn’t mean it will always be that way.” Her mother patted her back.

Kathleen stiffened. Her mother had no idea how close she’d come to the truth.

“Instincts are powerful weapons in the mating game, Kathleen.”

“That’s an understatement,” she muttered before she could stop herself.

“Ah.” Her mother continued to rub Kathleen’s back with her soft hand. Several minutes went by.

“Was Daddy ever. . ." She swallowed. She wanted to know if others were like Gabriel, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask the question. She rolled over to look at her mother. Who else was she going to ask the questions she needed the answers to?

“Overpowering?” Her mother raised her eyebrows in question.

“I guess.” That wasn’t quite it, but . . .

“Demanding? Forceful? Dominant?” Her mother’s words were getting closer to the truth. Maybe she wasn’t alone.

Kathleen nodded. Other wolves were this way? She wasn’t alone?

“Sometimes. Your father isn’t a very dominant man, but lots of men are. Especially shifters. There are a lot of humans, though, that experiment in the world of domination also. Am I reading you correctly now?”

Kathleen nodded. She would have choked if she’d attempted to swallow.

“Some people and or wolves like to role play a bit in the bedroom. It can be very powerful to let your partner command your body’s responses. It doesn’t make the other partner weak. You actually have to have a very strong personality to give up control to another. It can even bring the two parties closer together.”

Kathleen held her breath and stared at her mother. She scrunched her forehead. The woman didn’t quite get her dilemma. “What if they assume that role permanently?” She laid all her cards out on the table. To hell with it. What did she have to lose?

“Well, that depends. On a lot of factors. Most importantly, almost anything is acceptable as long as both parties agree. A dominant person might operate on any of several different levels. Anywhere from occasional role-playing to demanding complete submissiveness in the bedroom to expecting total submission twenty-four seven, even out in public. The question is how does that mesh with that person’s mate? It’s rather unlikely that fate would align two wolves together that would be unable to agree to the terms of the arrangement.

“Just because Gabriel might have been overpowering the first time he claimed you, doesn’t mean he always will be. And, if he is, you need to talk to him about it. Negotiate. Come to an agreement you can both live with.” Her mother smiled warmly.

The suggested negotiation was the part Kathleen hadn’t considered. Gabe didn’t seem like the kind of guy one would negotiate with. Did he expect her compliance outside the bedroom? Or just when they had sex? She wasn’t sure. He’d said he was demanding in bed. He’d warned her. And he’d made her body hum.

The reality was they had no other experiences to compare to yet. She had no idea how he might treat her in public. She was afraid to find out.

“Kathleen, what you really need to ask yourself is how he makes you feel? If you felt belittled and used, that’s not good. If you felt sexy and loved, you can build on that.”

She certainly felt sexy and loved. There was no doubt about that. She’d just thought there was something wrong with her for enjoying his domination.

She questioned her sanity.

“I’m going to leave you alone to think, but if you need me, just let me know. Okay?”

Kathleen nodded again and rolled back toward the wall.

As her mother closed the door behind her with a soft snick, Kathleen envisioned her day with Gabe. She missed his presence already. She loved his warmth against her skin.