Dominique (28 page)

     
“Please, please may I get it?
 
I-I feel naked without it!”

     
“If you earn it.”

     
“I’ll do anything!”

     
They all looked at each other as though contemplating my offer.
 
Then Andrew spoke.
 
“Dominique, I would like you to meet
Kate
.”

     
‘
Lydia
’ stepped forward, leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, whispering, “I’m sorry I was so mean before, but it was so much fun.”
 
I swallowed, struggling to keep my jaw from dropping.
 
She stepped back and gracefully knelt beside Paul, stroking his thigh and smiling right at me.

     
“Kate is quite the actress, pet.
 
She is also Paul’s submissive.
 
After a long absence she has returned to him.
 
This scene has answered many questions, Dominique.
 
For all of us.”

     
“I don’t understand, Master.”

     
“Kate wanted to explore her dominant feelings and I agreed to this scene.
 
Forgive me for being so manipulative, pet, but I also wanted to see how deep your feelings were for Paul.
 
I think that by your
behaviour
, most of my questions have been answered.”

     
I bowed my head.
 
“I’m s-sorry if I disappointed you, Master.”
 
I was on the verge of tears again.
 
How did he know?
 
I hadn’t said anything!

     
“I agree that you could have done better.
 
But before I decide what to do with you, I have one more question ...”

Chapter 8

I was suddenly struck with the gravity of the situation
.
 
I could lose everything here!
 
Clasping my hands tightly behind my back to stop them shaking, I tried to slow my breathing while Andrew, Paul and Kate looked down on me.
 
My Judge, jury and executioner.
 
I felt very small.
 
Would I ever master this game?
 
Was I cut out for this?
 
It wouldn’t have taken much for me to burst into tears and flee.
 
Forever
.
 
I couldn’t believe I called Kate a bitch.
 
I should have thanked her for slapping me.
 
God, was this it?
 
Was he finished with me?
 
Studying my Master’s face, I wished he were smiling.
 
I was sure I could make him smile again.
 
Shivering almost uncontrollably, I decided to fight, and fuck the consequences.
 
I was
not
going to give up.
 
I had come
too far
for that.
 
If he wanted the truth, I’d give it, and let the cards fall where they may.
 
After what seemed an eternity, he finally asked his question.

     
“Do you
know
what you have done?”

     
As soon as he asked it, I felt so ashamed.
 
My cheeks burned and I would have given anything to be alone with him.
 
The grass in front of me became blurry as my eyes filled.
 
A single tear began its lonely trek down my cheek.
 
“I-I have disappointed you.”

     
“You have broken a number of rules, and your
behaviour
has been unacceptable.”
 
My shoulders were trembling and another tear dripped down my nose and I watched as it plummeted to the ground below.
 
“But that isn’t all, is it?” His voice was soft, scary ... hypnotic.

     
“N-No,” I whispered, my eyes filling and the grass in front of me becoming blurry.

     
“Speak up, and don’t make me tell you again.
 
Make your confession, Dominique.
 
Now
.”

     
Oh God.
 
I cleared my throat.
 
“Y-Yes, Sir.”
 
Master
seemed too familiar.
 
I didn’t deserve to call him my
Master
.

     
A moment.
 
I just needed a moment.
 
Fuck it.
 
Taking a deep breath, I collected my thoughts.
 
I straightened myself and knelt up tall.
 
Proudly.
 
With my body as tight as a drum, I closed my eyes tightly to blink away my tears.
 
They ran in streams down my cheeks, but I decided against wiping them away.
 
So what
if I cried.
 
I exhaled slowly and opened my eyes.

Watching Dominique on her knees stifling tears was difficult to bear.
 
The trial of confessing before others would certainly test her.
 
A sense of déjà vu came over me as I asked my question.
 
It was very strange, but a memory of Rebecca speared into my mind.
 
Sometimes I just need attention
, I heard her saying.
 
We were talking together after a punishment and her mascara had run, just like Dominique’s.
 
It’s better this way
, she had said.
 
I’ll learn
.
 
And she had.
 
I almost smiled to myself,
realising
the message.
 
Somewhere along the way Dominique had become sidetracked, and she needed to be reined in.
 
In a sense, Dean had been right.
 
I had been too gentle with her.
 
But not for the reasons he thought.

     
The desire to sweep her up into my arms flooded through me and abated in a split second.
 
Why did I hold myself back sometimes?
 
I knew it wasn’t appropriate at that moment, but it wouldn’t have been the first time if I had.
 
I usually drew a frustrating blank when I started thinking about it.
 
Rebecca would have been surprised.
 
Indecisive
would not have been how she described me.
 
And yet here I was, thinking of her while Dominique relented and let the tears flow.
 
Had I truly let go?
 
While Dominique sobbed, I
realised
I had some confessing of my own to do.
 
But I would afford us some privacy for that.
 
In the meantime, I decided that if Dominique was going to make inroads into her vanilla ways of thinking, it was going to be
today
.
 
And it wasn’t going to be easy.

     
I
knew
what to do.
 
And I
recognised
that this might be the last time I ever involved other people in our play.
 
Dominique would not miss Paul.
 
Not when I was done.
 
I should have seen it.
 
It was as plain as the nose on my face.
 
Dean’s cabin was too much for her.
 
It was too random and too stressful.
 
It hadn’t opened doors, it had smashed them down with an axe.
 
Her world had been warped and she probably wasn’t sure
what
to make of it.
 
Even bringing Paul in had been a mistake.
 
Dominique was
not
Rebecca.
 
And I
did
give a fuck.
 
As she straightened up and steadied herself, I reached into my pocket, feeling for my handkerchief.
 
Remembering the egg was wrapped in it, I thought,
perfect.
 
I was tempted to smile as I retrieved it and held the small cloth out for her.

     
“Thank you, Sir,” I said, sniffling.
 
“Thank you.”
 
Bringing the soft cloth to my face to wipe it, the scent of my pussy invaded my senses and I blushed, glancing up at Andrew.
 
He smiled.
 
He smiled!
 
He was having a private moment with me, and for some reason it made sense.
 
I relished it, carefully folding his handkerchief and drying my face with it.
 
All was not lost!
 
He still had faith!
 
Kneeling up straight again and taking a deep breath, I balled the cloth in my fist and held it tightly.
 
“Sir,” I began, concentrating on his eyes.
 
This was
not
how I envisaged my confession.
 
“I have been guilty of a so many things.”

     
“Go on, pet.”
 
He called me ‘pet’!

     
“Yes, Sir.
 
I um,” I said, hesitating.
 
It didn’t sound right.
 
Then it dawned on me.
 
“
This girl
is guilty of d-disobeying you.
 
You made it plain she was to submit to whom you chose.
 
Th
... This girl was rude and
wilful
and she is very sorry for that, Sir.
 
Sh
-She finds it difficult when others are involved, Sir.
 
She felt confused and things happened so fast.”
 
I wiped another tear from my cheek.
 
“I ... She ... She knows we have talked about it and she knows it is a limit you may push.
 
But it is still very new to her and she felt cornered.
 
H-Her jealousy took over, Sir.”

     
“Explain what you mean, Dominique.”

     
“Y-Yes, Sir.
 
This girl is um, also guilty of allowing mischievous thoughts to become feelings, Sir.
 
And she ... she found her fantasies involving Paul occupying her idle time.
 
She was looking forward to seeing him more than she should have been, Sir.”
 
I glanced at Kate and she looked daggers at me.
 
“
Th
-This girl feels that jealousy clouded her judgment.
 
Her jealousy of Kate made her lash out, S-Sir.”

     
“I see,” Andrew said, nodding thoughtfully.

     
“There is another thing, Sir.
 
This girl is also guilty of not paying proper attention to your instructions regarding her collar.
 
She is very sorry for not asking about it.
 
She loves it so much and if she knew she could wear it whenever she wanted, she would not have taken it off.
 
Well, not while at home, Sir.”
 
I wanted to smile but I stopped myself.

     
Andrew nodded again, scratching his chin.
 
“Is there something else, Dominique?
 
Something deeper?” he asked.

     
“Um,” I hesitated, looking from face to face then down again.
 
“Yes,” I whispered.

     
“Go ahead.”

     
“This girl feels ...
torn
, Sir.
 
Torn between her vanilla side and her submissive side.
 
She has been assuming things, Sir.
 
Assuming her place, and assuming what is important and what is not.
 
Her mind has been active but she has not confessed the things she has been thinking.
 
She assumed she knew what you would want or need to know.
 
She has been filtering, Sir.
 
Filtering thoughts and feelings, sharing only those she knew would please you.”
 
I looked up at him and he seemed almost pleased.

     
“You do it to keep me happy, don’t you?”

     
“Making you happy is always this girl’s intention, Sir,” I replied softly.
 
It was no excuse and he knew it.

     
“Happiness based on half truths and omissions is not real happiness though, is it?”