Donners of the Dead (4 page)

*

The four of
us were so tense and anxious that evening, waiting around for Uncle Pat to come back, that we were jumping at every little sound, and barely picked at the mutton stew Aunt June had made. My mother had retired to her room after I gave her another book to read (a nice thing about Rose was that she’d often bring home books from school—I was never sure if it was her own doing or if her mother made her, but the books still came, giving my mother something to do with herself).

We didn’t talk about what had happened. Instead, everyone kept silent, perhaps locked in dreams about a better life. It wasn’t that the Smith’s homestead was lacking in anything—I do believe Uncle Pat was one of the wealthiest in town—but nothing ever came easy for any of the early pioneers. Supplies took forever to come in from the east, and the lack of real civilization in this territory only contributed to the isolation. Naturally, I was born in the small settlement, so I never knew any better and frankly was never curious about the big cities, but I could see Rose’s eyes wet with thought as she imagined spending the money on a stagecoach ticket back to St. Louis.

As for Avery, I wanted to ask him what he’d spend his money on, but I was afraid of two things. If I asked him, it would sound like I wanted him to go, which was the furthest thing from the truth, and I feared that he’d tell me it had something to do with Rose. A ring? Two stagecoach tickets out of here? Anything to buy a future.

I watched him carefully as he put on the fire, seeming to be taller now, stronger somehow. It felt like he’d grown up in the last few hours, standing up to those mysterious Texans and everything.

Thankfully, the house felt more full and relaxed with the sounds of the flames crackling and cooling our nerves. We were right peaceful when the front door jangled before being kicked open.

There was a split second where I thought it was the men and they were back to take me with them, regardless of what my uncle said. Instead it was my uncle, looking worn out, his hair disheveled.

He stopped when he saw all of us in the room, now sitting like eager cats in our chairs, our eyes on him and prodding for information.

“What in the dickens is going on here?” he boomed, shutting the door behind him. “What happened?”

“Did you find Martha?” Avery asked. If I didn’t know he was such an honest man, I would have thought he was just asking to be polite.

He nodded, brows drawn together. “Yep. On our way back. She was up in a pine tree, too afraid to come down. She’s hungry and shook up, but she’ll be all right. Though Ned gave us permission to shoot that dang horse on sight if we ever come across it.” He glanced over the rest of us. “Now you can’t all be that interested in Mrs. Kincaid’s well-being. Come on. Spill it.”

We glanced at each other. Aunt June’s lips were tight and her focus was on Avery. He told my uncle to take a seat in the rocking chair and then explained everything from the beginning.

I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe for my uncle to think it was a terrible idea. But that wasn’t the case at all, at least not when it came to me heading out there. Dollar signs floated above his head.

“But dear,” Aunt June said, wringing her hands together. “She’s family and we’re responsible for her! We can’t send her off with a bunch of strange men. It’s obscene!”

His shoulder ticked up in a shrug. “Eve can handle herself.”

“Well, I won’t allow it. I wouldn’t do this to Eve or to my own flesh and blood.”

“Then let’s ask Gail, shall we?” He smirked at his own joke about my mother. I started thinking maybe a mountain expedition would be more preferable than spending my days here.

“Patrick,” Aunt June said shrilly. “No. Not unless Avery and a female chaperone go with her. She’s just eighteen.”

He rolled his eyes. “The more people to join her, the less money she gets. And we got married at eighteen. What else is Eve going to do with herself?”

“I don’t care. I promised Gail I would take care of her and that is what I’m doing.”

I couldn’t help but smile at my Aunt. She almost never spoke her mind, let alone stood up for me. Unfortunately, I could tell from the look in his eyes that this only made him despise me more.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I’ll arrange for a chaperone.” He wagged his finger at Avery. “But just so you know, I’m taking some of your pay as well. It’ll help me find a replacement for you while you’re gone. Lord knows I can’t handle this ranch on my own with the both of you out searching for a lost cause. I don’t know what these men are expecting to find out there, but so long as they’re paying us, I don’t really care either.”

And that was that. My fate was sealed without anyone even asking what I wanted. Oh, I suppose if I had started making a fuss right away things might have been different, but I doubted it. If I refused to go, Uncle Pat would make my life miserable here and I couldn’t leave for good without leaving my mother behind.

“The men said they’d be coming back soon,” June said. “They didn’t seem the sort to have their patience tried.”

Uncle Pat sighed at that and told June to get her shawl, that they were going down the road to the Young’s and enquiring if one of their elder daughters would be willing to come along for a quarter of the pay.

Once they left out into the early night, Avery, Rose, and I sat around the fire and waited again.

“Eve,” Avery said, leaning forward on his wool pants and clasping his slender hands together. “If you don’t want to do this, just tell me. You have barely said a word about the whole ordeal.”

“It’s not for lack of trying,” I said dryly. “If I had more time to think about this, maybe I’d know how I feel. Honestly, I feel nothing right now. I don’t fear for my life because you’ll be with me. At the same time, I don’t want you to go.”

He nodded slowly and looked to the flames. I was very aware of Rose sitting quietly in her seat, her dress bunched up around her, watching and listening. “See, the problem is I do want to go. But I don’t want you to. And it seems we’re a package deal.” I smiled at that. He glanced at Rose and my smile faded. “Rose, what do you think of all this?”

She beamed at him with her pretty smile and bounced excitedly in her chair, patiently waiting all this time to tell us what she thought. “I think it’s a wonderful idea, this whole thing. How heroic you’ll be, Avery, joining those wild men and rescuing the poor souls out there.”

He sat up straight, chest puffed out like a pompous goose. “You’re right about that. And when I get back, I’ll buy you anything you want.”

When Rose nearly shrieked—as if she wouldn’t get some of the money I earned—and started yammering about getting a fancy cage crinoline because her starched petticoats weren’t holding up, I excused myself and headed upstairs to talk to my mother. The fact that Avery said he’d buy her something and that she was mentioning her undergarments was rubbing me in all the wrong ways, and the fact that I was bothered by that when I had a dire situation on my hands didn’t help.

I paused outside my mother’s door and knocked lightly. I never wanted to barge in on her, and when sometimes she didn’t answer the door, I left her alone. This night, however, I hoped she’d get up and let me in. Though she wouldn’t say a word, she needed to hear from me what was going on and I needed someone to listen. My mother and I had never really been close, but I still knew I could tell her anything.

I waited with my breath in my throat before she finally opened the door. I heard her scuttling back to her chair as I stepped inside the room. It was cold and dark save for a single candle on the bedside table. Aside from the stack of books alongside it, the bed, the washbasin, and the chair she was sitting in, there wasn’t much to her room. It was like she’d never been able to call it home. I guess I wasn’t much different either.

I sat down on her bed, the springs creaking beneath my weight while she stared at the flame dancing above the candle. That was her thing—she never looked like she was even aware of you sometimes, as if her mind was somewhere else. It probably was half the time, yet I knew she was very aware of everything.

“Mother,” I said, my own eyes drawn to the flame as well. I paused, gathering my thoughts. Our shadows danced on the walls. “Mother, I know you saw those men today. Heard them. Maybe you heard more than that. But they’ve asked for me to accompany them into the mountains. Rumor has it I’m the best tracker in town…I guess people didn’t know who to recommend with Pa gone.” I saw her flinch slightly at his name, so I knew she was listening.

I went on. “I don’t want to leave you here, but I know your sister will take good care of you. She was really worried about me, believe it or not, and made Uncle Pat agree to an escort for me. Avery is going too, which is both good and bad. At least you know I’ll be safe.” She continued to watch the flame. “I’m not even sure I want to go, to be honest. I…I have a strange feeling about it. Them showing up. The disappearance of the Donners and their search party. A horse trying to kill us last night because he didn’t get enough oats.”

I was trying to joke about that last part, foolish pride or something, playing off the fear. But my mom looked straight at me like she’d just snapped out of a dream.

I cocked my head, eyeing her quizzically. “What is it?”

She opened her mouth, trying to say something, but nothing came out. This was quite new—usually my mother never even attempted to speak. I watched her closely as she made a motion for a pen. Before I could do anything, she got up, her shawl flapping around her, and pulled out the bedside table drawer. She took out a pen and paper, and for the first time in a long time, she began to communicate with me.

She sat back down and wrote slowly, her forehead deeply creased, as if English was a foreign language, as if she’d never been taught to read and write, as if she’d never been more than a shell.

I tried to read her scrawl upside down.

You need to go.

I swallowed thickly, shocked that she would write that. Didn’t she worry about me? Didn’t she care?

“I’m getting paid but I don’t know how much we’ll get,” I explained, wondering if that was why she wanted me gone. “Uncle Pat will take most of it.”

She shook her head and tapped at the paper again. I nodded, trying to make sense of it, when she started writing again. I couldn’t see over the curve of her hand until she was finished and lifted it up for me to see.

You need to go. You need to find it. What’s out there.

A chill ran down my spine, though it could have been the draft in the room. The nights were getting colder, faster, another reason why I had a bad feeling about the expedition. And yet here was my mother, telling me to go, to find it.

“What is
it
?” I asked gently.

She shook her head, and as quickly as she had come to attention, her hands folded on top of the note and her eyes went back to the flame, turning glossy green as her mind went elsewhere.

I stayed for a few more minutes, hoping that she would come back to life but she never did. With a heavy sigh, I got up, tucked her shawl around her, and kissed her on top of her head before leaving her behind to her thoughts and the flame.

*

It was late
when Uncle Pat and Aunt June came back, but they came with news.

Donna Young was one of Eldrich Young’s daughters. She was pleasant and in her mid-twenties, never married and completely devoted to God. She also had a great knowledge of first aid and had offered up a lot of the winter clothing she made on the side. She would be joining me and Avery on the expedition, not expecting anything in return. She said it was God’s will that she help. I wasn’t sure if I believed that but I was in no position to question it. I only felt sorry for her. I had met the men we were traveling with—she had not—and there was no doubt that Uncle Pat had sugar-coated the whole thing to sweeten the deal.

On the way back from the Young’s, they also ran into Tim who had been holing up in the Barker’s barn until it was time. They made the arrangements with him right there and then. Me, Donna, and Avery would join their search party, along with the extra clothes Donna was providing, and Ali, Avery’s mule that he was offering, getting more profit in exchange.