Don't Forget Me (19 page)

The Broken CD

T
he neon lights
of the hospital were glaring. The sterile air settled in around her, cold and heavy. A continuous
beep
sounded from somewhere in the room. The bed was hard and the pillow flat, the room white and bare. A bunch of black and white roses stood on the table at the foot of the bed, it seemed like a play of light and shade, flame and embers, hunter and prey. From time to time memories flashed into Stella’s mind of Donn driving her to the hospital that night. Donn was bending over her. He squeezed her hand, never taking his eyes off her, his expression cool and controlled despite his inner worry about her safety.

“Have you been here this whole time?” Stella asked, her voice cracking.

“I’ve been sitting here watching you, yes,” he answered, his face softening into a smile. He stroked her hair, pushing it back from her face, and planted a kiss on her forehead, breathing in her scent deeply. When he squeezed her hand again, he felt Stella’s closing weakly around his. Then she sank back into a state of unconsciousness; J. and Aaron had faded into a memory and she had no idea what had happened to Vuk.

A couple of days after the accident, she had almost completely recovered, apart from a few scratches; she was back on her feet and back home. Vuk’s pickup had been brought to a junkyard for demolition. Stella told the authorities she could not remember anything that had happened. The hospital tests reported no alcohol in her blood, so the police came to the conclusion that the accident was caused by the electricity pole falling onto the highway. They did not connect the accident with the fire at the gas station. Stella was relieved; not wishing to alarm anyone, she asked the hospital not to tell her parents about her injuries, and begged Scott not to talk to her father. The only person she did tell was Jamie, who stuck by her bedside every spare second.

The rain continued unabated, gloomy and tedious, reflecting Stella’s mood like a mirror. Things were not going well with Vuk. In fact, things could not possibly have been worse between them. Stella had not wanted to see him at the hospital that night, and had since tried to avoid him every way possible, but he was not giving up easily. He wanted desperately to talk to her, but she would not cave.

In an attempt to avoid him, Stella had stopped going running and even going to class, leaving home only in the evening to go to work.

She wanted to be by herself. It was as if the time had ceased to exist and day and night had become indistinguishable. She answered neither Vuk’s calls nor Donn’s. He had registered her phone number from her mobile when she was lying in the hospital, unconscious.

As she sat at home one afternoon, the doorbell buzzed. Stella was on the phone with Jamie, trying to see when she could get her notes from the classes she had missed. Jamie was organizing another Friday night party, and asked Stella to stay overnight. She accepted Jamie’s invitation.

At the sound of the doorbell, Stella froze, immediately on edge at the mere thought that it might be Vuk. There was no way she could bring herself to forgive him for what he had done. She glanced out the window of her room to see who it was and saw that it was just a FedEx deliveryman. She opened the door.

“Hi.”

“Miss Whitely?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I have a package for you. Please sign here.” He handed her a pen. She signed and took the package from him.

“Thank you, have a nice day,” she said, closing the door. Burning with curiosity, she went into the kitchen and opened the package. Inside was an iPhone 6. Her eyes widened in disbelief. She tried to suppress a smile, but then broke into a loud laugh.

“Oh, my God, it’s not even out yet,” she cried aloud, and immediately realized who it must be from.

In fact, there was a note taped to the phone box.

In the hope that you will now answer my phone calls.

Donn Brooks

Stella smelled his delicious scent impregnated in the thick paper. She opened the box and found the phone ready for use with a new sim card inside. There was one new message. The name of the recipient was also the only contact in her address book: Donn again. Stella opened the message.

I hope the cell phone is to your liking and I can’t wait to hear your voice.

Thank you but I can’t accept this…

It would be rude not to.
The phone is in your name now, Stella.

Please let me pay you for the phone

I don’t believe the phone has a market price yet :)

How can I repay you?

Make good use of it, with me. I admit that I’m having trouble answering that question, without thinking filthy thoughts, little girl… ;)

So, did you track the delivery man to find out exactly when I’d get the package?

No, I just asked him to text me when he delivered it to you… I have to go into a meeting now. Talk to you later, Miss Whitely.

It was Thursday, late afternoon. Stella had on a dark gray strapless dress and a pair of black boots. She was about to leave her house to go to The Pats when she heard a knock at the door. She was sure it was Vuk this time. He had been doing this for days. He would knock on her door in the evening to try to talk to her, but so far he had been unsuccessful.

At the sound of the knock, Stella’s face became anguished, her countenance glassy. Her cheeks became flushed and she rolled her eyes in exasperation. Her heart began to beat faster, her breath quickened behind her parted lips. The stereo in the kitchen was playing one of Vuk’s CDs:
Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door
by Guns N’ Roses was blaring out. Stella snuck to the window and peeked out at him without letting him see her. His eyes were glazed, surrounded by dark, puffy circles. It seemed he had been drinking and had not slept well in days. He had just lit a cigarette, and held it between his lips, his eyes slightly closed, smoke wafting over his face.

“Hey, babe… come on! I know you’re in there.”

A moment passed. Then he knocked again.

“Stella, it’s me, Vuk. Come on, open the damn door.” He leaned with one hand on the door as if it was the only thing keeping him on his feet.

Silence fell. Stella didn’t want to have anything to do with him.

“Stop avoiding me, Stella. I won’t stand for being ignored by you!” He moved his head closer to the door, the tone of his voice hardening in his anger. He looked beat.

There was no response.

“Stella… Jeez, I feel like crap.” His voice died in his throat, his breathing was hoarse.

“Is that how you feel?” murmured Stella. Her heart went out to him slightly and she leaned toward the door on her side, her hand resting against it at the same height as Vuk’s was on the other side. The boy straightened up and raised his head, staring at the door with a spark of hope in his eyes.

“Stella, let me see you,” he pleaded bluntly, in anguish.

“No!”she denied herself.

Vuk closed his eyes and sighed in resignation.

“Open the damn door! Don’t treat me like a stranger,” he snapped. In his desperation to see her, he punched the door, causing it to shake.

Stella took a deep breath and opened it. She swallowed hard as a thrill of adrenalin ran through her body. Her heart was pounding as if it would explode out of her chest. She had decided to face him.

“What the hell do you want?” She looked at his chiseled features, and was slightly taken aback to see his unshaven jaw, disheveled hair and shabby clothes. He was wearing a pair of ripped jeans which hung low on his hips and a shabby flannel shirt unbuttoned over his chest. The weak light of the hallway showed off his well-defined muscles, leaving the rest of his body in darkness. The good wolf and the bad wolf.

He lifted his cigarette to his mouth, inhaled deeply, then exhaled the smoke with shaky breath. He brought his eyes up to hers, his face slowly softening into a mischievous smile.

“Great legs, I like your dress,” he said, the cigarette still resting between his lips.

“Go to hell,” Stella hissed, her words sounding like a curse. She tried to close the door, but Vuk blocked it with one hand. There was only a sliver of space between them. Vuk put his face close to the crack to look at her. She was nervous and shaking, but continued to glare at him.

“I want us… to go back to the way we were,” he whispered, having trouble getting the words out. His voice was full of desire, his eyes fixed on her. Though he tried to keep cool, Stella could sense the anguish he was suppressing with difficulty.

He ran his hands through his hair in exasperation and forced the door open, pushing Stella backwards, but then he remained motionless, not taking even a step toward her. He did not want to scare her. He looked at her intently, his eyes glowing, he somehow made her feel wanted. Stella was almost hypnotized, but then she closed her eyes to break the spell. When she opened them again, she already feeling regret for what she was about to say.

“That’s impossible.” She looked away from his green eyes as if just one look would suck her into a vortex she would not be able to escape from.

“I want my Stella back, now,” Vuk ordered, the cigarette in his mouth, smoke pouring out of his mouth, his voice breaking and his eyes bright. His breath smelled of alcohol and the mint chewing gum he had popped in his mouth before coming there to mask his obvious drunkenness.

“You bastard! You should have thought of that before… you almost…” She paused for breath, and Vuk’s eyes widened, feeling that it would kill him if she continued. “.. almost raped me that night in the factory.” She was furious, but at the same time she wished she could go into a dark room, curl up and be left alone. Vuk’s eyes were wide and tormented.

“Forgive me, Stella. Please don’t hate me,” he begged, his voice croaky.

“I can’t forgive you,” she replied.

“You were the one who wanted to come to the factory. I didn’t want to bring you, but I did it because you asked me!” It was clear he was terrified of losing her, but he tried
to disguise it with a dry tone. The gentle kid who had struggled to tell her how he felt about her had suddenly disappeared. Stella felt she no longer knew who he was.

She took a deep breath. “I trusted you,” she shouted, feeling release in her outburst. For a moment, Vuk seemed to be in agony, but then he narrowed his eyes and looked at her grimly, his jaw clenched.

“I warned you. I warned you that ‘that thing’ wasn’t me,” he growled menacingly.

“Yeah, I asked you to take me with you, but I didn’t think you would go that far.” The last word caught in her throat. She felt consumed by bitterness and disgust. Vuk narrowed his eyes and a vein throbbed on his forehead. His mouth hardened.

“You have no idea how far I could go! That was just the beginning,” he hissed impulsively at her, his look animated by a yellow, shining light. His face was livid. He took a final long drag on his cigarette and tossed it to the ground.

“I don’t even know who you are anymore?” Stella approached him and tried to push him away, her face twisted in confusion.

“No, Stella, please,” Vuk begged. He resisted her efforts without touching her. His eyes were wide in shock as he realized he was actually losing her. She was furious, she narrowed her eyes in pure terror.

“You’re a crazy lunatic, a loose cannon,” she shouted, pummeling his chest. He closed his eyes and sighed, and then opened them again to look at her, serious and impassive, without even a shadow of emotion leaking onto his face.

“Yeah? What else is new?” he whispered, tormented. Stella gulped, already regretting what she had said.

“When did you start smoking?” she asked, faintly.

“I took it up again when you weren’t there anymore.”

“I didn’t know you smoked before.” She looked at him in confusion.

“There are lots of things you don’t know about me…” remarked Vuk.

Stella caught a glimpse of her scratches under his shirt collar.

“You’ve still got my scratches on your neck,” she murmured, hesitantly.

“Just to remind me what a shit I was…” he sighed. He lifted her chin and gazed at her with trembling lips.

“Take a look at yourself… you stink of alcohol, it’d put anyone off,” Stella reprimanded him. She was hurting deep inside, seeing him in that state.

“Nothing makes sense anymore without you,” said Vuk in a low voice.

“And you’re nothing to me now!” Stella was lying. She was angry about the way he’d behaved to her that evening in the factory, but she was sorry for how she’d treated him. She couldn’t summon the courage to look him in the eyes; she knew she’d wounded him. He sensed her unease and smiled at her tenderly.

“You still listen to my music, though…” He lifted her face again, looking her straight in the eyes, studying her expression. He stifled a drunken smile.

“I’ve got nothing more to say to you…” snapped Stella, irritated. She went into the kitchen, switched off the music just as the refrain of
Orchestra
by The Servant was beginning and took out the CD Vuk had given her. She looked at the dedication on the top:
To my little girl
. She clasped it between her hands and sighed deeply. As she came back to the entrance she snapped the CD in two and threw it at Vuk’s feet. She threw him a black look and screamed, “And I don’t want to have anything more to do with you!”