Don't Let Go (27 page)

“Any news?” he asks and I shake my head.

“Who called you?” I question, noticing his clearly sleepy face. He’s wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and a baseball cap covers what I assume is his bedhead.

“Maura.” He takes his ball cap off, repositioning it. “I’m surprised to see you,” he states, still staring straight ahead.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” I snap.

“Oh Sadie, I just meant because of Brady. I didn’t mean…”

“I’m sorry, Grant, I’m just touchy. I know what you meant.” I place my hand on his knee when Brady walks into the room.

“Am I interrupting something?” he asks, anger evident in his voice.

“Of course not.” I stand up and walk toward him and Grant follows my lead.

“It’s not good. Alcohol poisoning,” he says directly to Grant and he nods his head back. I guess they have been here before. “Can you take Sadie home?” he asks.

“No, I’m not leaving,” I declare to him.

“There isn’t a reason to be here, Sadie,” he says, releasing an exasperated breath.

“I’m here for you, Brady.” I touch his arm in reassurance.

“I don’t need you,” he bitterly responds and I quickly remove my arm. “That’s not what I meant…just go, Sadie.” He runs his hands through his hair.

“No.” I stand there, not moving.

“Sadie…” he trails off.

“I’ll stay in the waiting room if you want, but I refuse to leave here without you,” I demand.

“Fine,” he deadpans, clearly annoyed with this conversation. “Grant, can I have a word outside?” He motions with his head for him to follow. Brady doesn’t hug or kiss me before he leaves. This is a very different Brady than I have ever known, and for the first time, I wonder if we will get through this.

“Sure,” Grant says, looking at me before exiting the room.

Sitting down in the uncomfortable chairs, I feel the tears welling up behind my eyes but I will not let them fall.
Be strong, for Brady
, I tell myself over and over. Grant comes in a couple minutes later and sits down in his previous seat. I don’t ask what Brady was talking to him about and Grant doesn’t divulge it either. The uneasy silence between us fills the empty room until Kara walks in.
What the hell?

“Oh Grant, I came as soon as John told me.” She rushes in, taking the seat next to him.

My eyes glare toward her and then to Grant. This little threesome of theirs is starting to piss me off.

“You didn’t need to come, Kara. You know he won’t want you here.” Grant continues to thumb through a sports magazine.

“She’s here,” she spats, nodding her head in my direction.

“I’m his girlfriend,” I leer and put my magazine down on the table.

“Only because you slid your way in past me,” she continues, positioning her body to face me completely.

“There was no sliding, Kara. You need to get over it.” I lean back in my chair and cross my legs, picking up my magazine again.

“Girls, let’s remember why we are here,” Grant chimes in and Kara turns her back to both of us, thumbing through her phone.

She’s dressed in yoga pants and a sweatshirt and her hair is pulled up in a messy bun. Obviously, she just rolled out of bed and I wonder who John is, why he knew about Vince, and how often Kara has been here with Brady when I haven’t. The more questions that run through my mind, the angrier I’m becoming. I decide to go for a walk. Grant tries to come with me but I’m able to divert him.

I make my way over to a vending machine and purchase a coffee. Although I usually take it black, I decide on cream and sugar, hoping it might camouflage the bad taste. Just as I start back down the hall, I spot Brady and Maura heading into the waiting room. By the time I get there, Kara is hanging on Brady and he isn’t pushing her away. The four of them abruptly stop talking and stare at me when I walk in the room. Suddenly, I feel like an outsider and maybe Brady was right, I should leave.

“Hey, Sadie,” Maura says. She walks up to me and puts her arm around my shoulders, bringing me into the group.

“How’s everything?” I ask, my voice shaky and unnerved by what I just witnessed.

“It will be just fine,” Maura assures me, and Brady continues looking at the ground while Kara still has her arm hooked through his. In all our time together, Brady has never made me feel so out of place. He has always assured people he was with me, but if a stranger walked into this room right now, they would think Kara was his girlfriend. “Brady and I are going to stay for the night. We were thinking Grant could take you home.” She looks at me when she says it, and I think about how, just a few hours ago she told me I should stay and not leave Brady’s side.

“Um…” I look at Brady, who continues to look anywhere but my direction. “Alright,” I agree and his eyes finally land on me. I glance at Kara’s arm and then back to his eyes, making sure he knows I see what is happening. He quickly releases her arm, as though he didn’t know it was there and walks toward me.

“Can I talk to you first?” he asks.

“It’s fine, Brady…we should get going.” I look at Grant, who digs his keys out of his pocket. “I’m sorry.” I kiss his cheek before walking away.

“I’ll call you in a bit,” he says.

“Okay,” I respond and walk out the doors. When I get on the other side, the tears start escaping and I can’t stop them. I brace myself against the wall to quickly try to swipe them away before Grant comes out. I swore I was going to fight for him, but he just won’t let me. I thought Maura was on my side, but she was the one who suggested I leave. And here I am leaving and that bitch Kara is still in there.

“Ready?” Grant asks, relieving me from my thoughts.

“Sure,” I say and start walking down the hall.

“It’s not you, Sadie, it’s just Brady. He can’t let people in.”

“Obviously not everyone,” I spat.

“Believe me…he doesn’t want her there either. It’s just that she won’t leave. I think he has just grown used to her being there since she has always weaseled her way in.” The sliding doors open and the cold air hits my face, the tears now chilled against my cheeks.

I don’t know what to say so I remain silent, but the tears keep coming. Grant has been kind enough to ignore my sniffles. I instruct him to take me to the dorm instead of Brady’s house. The streets are dark and empty, void of any college students. Grant walks me to my door, and I thank him. He has tried to give Brady the benefit of the doubt the whole ride over. I appreciate his attempt but right now, I just need some time to myself.

Jessa is asleep when I enter the room, so I tiptoe into my bed. No need to change into pajamas since I’m already wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. The smell of Brady, embedded into his shirt, fills my nostrils as I lie in bed awake. I check my phone, nothing.

I replay everything that’s happened throughout the last few weeks. The longer I lie there, the farther away I feel from him. I put my ear buds in, listening to The Invisibles album he put on there for me. The slow songs that I thought were about a special girl in his life that broke his heart start playing. They all hold the common theme of someone being lost, alone, and walking away.

I bolt up in bed, almost hitting my head on the ceiling. I rush down my steps, throwing my shoes back on. Jessa’s keys are sitting on the dresser so I jot down a quick note and grab them.

Chapter 28

The ten minute drive seems like an hour. Everything I want to say overflows in my brain. I consistently change and revise my speech, making sure I use the right words. I park next to Brady’s Camaro, so I know he is still here.

I practically run into the sliding doors before they open, and am finally where I should have never left an hour ago. My squeaky footsteps echo in the hallway as I swiftly walk toward the waiting room.

When I enter the small area, I’m thankful they’re there and not in Vince’s hospital room. Maura is fiddling with her phone next to Grant, while Brady’s head is tipped back with his eyes closed. Kara is right next to him with her head on his shoulder, and I want to scream at her to get the fuck off my man. A huge sigh comes out of my mouth before I realize it and Brady’s head pops up. Maura and Grant look up, while Kara continues to sleep on Brady.

“Sadie,” he says and rises to his feet. Kara’s head falls with a thud down onto the chair when he walks toward me, waking her up.

“What the fuck?” she questions, holding her head with her hand.

“I’m not going anywhere, Brady,” I tell him.

“Let’s go, guys. Give them some privacy,” Maura instructs, standing up. She and Grant both start to leave the room but Kara stays put.

“Kara?” Grant turns around, waiting for her. She reluctantly gets up and follows them out.

Once they are all gone, I grab his hand, leading him over to a chair. I kneel down between his legs and place my hands on his face. “I’m here to stay. I will wait in this waiting room if you want, but I will not leave this hospital without you. I love you and whatever you go through, I go through. We will do this together, Brady. You no longer have the option to do this alone,” I lecture. His eyes are on mine but my Brady isn’t there, it’s a hollow man in front of me. “You can ignore me, push me away, and yell at me, but I will come back to you every time to stand by your side. I will hold your hand, hug your body, and soothe your worries, but I will not walk away. I will not leave you,” I finish speaking and a tear rolls off his cheek. He stares down at me and a horrible feeling flows through me that maybe this was a terrible idea. Maybe he doesn’t want me anymore.

I lean up, softly kissing his lips, tasting the salt from his tears. He doesn’t respond to my affection so I slowly pull away, embarrassed. Then Brady puts his hands on the back of my head, drawing me to him. He gives me a gentle kiss on my lips, raising me up and pulling me into his lap. Kissing his way to my ear he whispers, “Thank you.”

I stay in his lap with his arms around me and mine around him. The three others make their way in eventually, quietly sitting on the other side of the room. A doctor comes in a little while later and informs Brady and Maura that they can go in and see their father. Maura puts everything in her purse and walks out of the room. I take my seat next to Grant but Brady walks over to me, holding his hand out. I look up into his eyes and I see no sign of the angst that filled them moments ago. Placing my hand in his, he lifts me off the chair and leads me toward the door.

Vince looks comfortable lying in the bed beside the IV attached to his arm. Maura and Brady walk to either side of the bed and I keep my distance in the back of the room. I don’t want to push too much; this was a big step for Brady. Maura takes her father’s hand, squeezing it while talking to him. Brady leans back in the chair, staring at his dad. With all three of them in the room, the similarities are uncanny. I can’t believe I knew all three of them separately but never realized they were related.

The doctor tells us that he should be okay but needs to be closely monitored. Then he hands some pamphlets to Maura regarding rehabilitation facilities. The nurses come in and insist we all go home and come back in the morning. They say there is nothing anyone can do; he just needs his rest.

The five of us file out of the hospital. Brady follows me to my dorm to drop Jessa’s car off and then we go back to his place. It’s early morning when we finally crawl into bed. Brady positions me on top of his chest again, undoing my ponytail and letting his fingers seep through my blonde hair.

“I’m sorry for tonight, Sadie,” he whispers, and I slowly pick up my head.

“I know,” I say in return.

“It might take some time for me,” he admits.

“That’s okay,” I reassure him. “I’m not going anywhere.” I lay my head back down on his chiseled chest.

“I didn’t know it was possible to love you even more,” he says casually, continuing to play with my hair.

Picking up my head, I stare into those caramel eyes that have given me so much in such a short amount of time. “Me either,” I say in return, grazing his chest with small kisses.

Brady and I are on our way back to the hospital. Maura is meeting us there with her husband. The three of them want to confront Vince about admitting himself into a rehab facility again. I opt to stay in the hall, out of courtesy for Vince. Brady is actually smiling when he comes out, telling me he agreed to go. I wrap my arms around him, happy for all of them. Then he tells me the bad news. He has to leave right after finals to take him up to a facility in Michigan and he will be gone for four days, returning Christmas Eve. Although I’m going to miss him, I think I have an idea that will keep me busy. I just need to find some recruits to help me out.

One week later, I’m anxiously awaiting Brady’s return. He expects me here since we will have a full house tomorrow. We are hosting my mom and grandma, Maura and her family, Grant, and Jessa, along with her family. Jessa’s family came here to visit her for the holidays. Rob went home a few days ago and he invited Jessa but she declined, wanting to be with her family.

I hear the Camaro pull in the driveway and it takes all my self-control not to run down the steps and jump into his arms. Instead, I scramble around the room, making sure everything is in its place. I toss a few pillows on the bed and re-position his guitar in the corner and a picture of me and Theo on the dresser.

Grant and Jessa have been a huge help these past few days helping me re-decorate the third-floor master suite for Brady and me. We have painted it a misty blue and I bought a brand new white comforter, along with white and black drapes. Although I can’t change the memories of this room for Brady, I hope by us making new ones in it, he will be able to move on.

“Sadie!” he calls up from downstairs but I stick to my plan, keeping quiet. His footsteps make their way up the stairs as I bite my lip in anticipation. God, I have missed him these last four days. It is the longest we have been apart since we got together, and I honestly don’t remember what it was like not having him in my life.

I hear him stop at his bedroom door, “What the…” he says. Surely he is confused seeing all of Jessa’s stuff in there. His footsteps quickly turn toward the second staircase.