Doomed Queens (26 page)

CAUTIONARY MORAL

Marrying your husband’s brother
is dangerous business.

1536

enry VIII had a not so secret reason for pushing Catherine of Aragon aside: He lusted after Anne Boleyn, whose womb was presumably more receptive to his seed. However, the fate of Henry’s first wife was gentler than the fate of his second. Anne was granted the dubious honor of being the first English queen to be publicly executed. This was quite a comedown for a woman who had initially won much attention at the English court for her refined manners and beauty.

Though born in England, Anne spent her formative years on the Continent as a lady-in-waiting to Margaret of Austria and Queen Claude of France. This time abroad polished Anne into a sophisticated woman able to converse wittily in French, dance with élan, and flirt in the best courtly love tradition, where you promise everything but grant nothing. Her unusual dark hair and sultry eyes made her stand out—Anne Boleyn was Tudor England’s Angelina Jolie amid a sea of Reese Witherspoons.

Anne returned to England from France in 1521 to marry her father’s choice of a groom. But the engagement was brought to a grinding halt for unknown reasons. Again, Anne was sent to court to serve a queen, this time England’s Catherine of Aragon. More happily, she fell in love.

The object of Anne’s affection was Henry Percy, who was considered a catch since he would inherit an earldom. They became secretly engaged, but secrets did not last long at court. Their marriage was forbidden by the powers that be—there was someone else who wanted Anne, a Henry more powerful than Henry Percy. And what Henry Tudor wanted, Henry got.

Anne never had a chance—Henry stalked her like prey, ignoring her refusals. If it had been modern times, the king would have been slapped with a whopper of a sexual harassment suit. To protect herself, all Anne could do was apply
The Rules
.

A BRIEF DIGRESSION

The Rules
was a popular book from the 1990s that took a page from Anne’s courtship philosophy. One of
The Rules
’ authors ended up divorced—it’s fortunate for her that she wasn’t married to Henry VIII. Anne’s story suggests that when it comes to playing hard to get, not much has changed over the years.

Anne’s rule number one was don’t put out. Rule number two was hold out for the big gold ring. After all, Anne had a front row seat for what happens when a girl doesn’t follow the Rules: her sister, Mary, had been the king’s mistress and was rewarded with two bastards for her efforts. Anne was smarter than this—and smarting from the king’s ending of her engagement. She determined to make Henry pay by granting her the ultimate favor of the crown.

It took Henry seven years to disentangle himself from Catherine of Aragon to marry Anne—long, tumultuous years that involved papal entreaties, courtroom dances, bribes to Rome, and the death of a cardinal. To gain Anne’s hand, Henry eventually resolved that he, as king, was England’s absolute religious authority, not some guy in a funny hat in Rome. Henry installed a puppet cardinal in Canterbury who was willing to grant the divorce. Not surprisingly, the king’s decision led to his excommunication. It also sent seismic waves throughout Europe, since it effectively sanctioned Martin Luther’s Reformation—man no longer required a priest to win God’s grace.

Anne pleading for her life before Henry VIII. The reality was rather different. Once Henry decided he’d had enough of Anne, he refused to ever see her again.

Amazingly, during these seven years Anne refused to sleep with Henry until just before their marriage. But she conceived quickly; by her coronation in 1533, her belly was already swollen with child. It is difficult to ascertain exactly when and if Anne fell in love with Henry. Maybe power was an aphrodisiac; maybe she was trying to make the best of the inevitable. She once admitted, “I never wished to choose the King in my heart.” One theory suggests that Anne believed God had chosen her to be queen. She saw herself like Queen Esther, reforming a corrupt church by influencing a besotted monarch. She even encouraged the translation of the Bible into English, so ordinary people could read it without a priest.

Anne’s pregnancy resulted in the birth of a daughter, Elizabeth. Soon after, Henry admitted that he believed Anne had used witchcraft to capture his heart—clearly the bloom was already off the rose. Two stillborn sons later, the king sprang into action.

When the king was seriously injured during a jousting match, someone overheard Anne hysterically wonder what would happen if Henry died. Henry decided this amounted to a treasonous plot to kill him. He also claimed Anne had messed around with numerous men, including her brother.

A sham trial resulted in a verdict of death by burning or beheading—the choice was Henry’s pleasure. He showed mercy and chose beheading. Strangely enough, Anne’s jury included Henry Percy, who was forced to vote for her conviction.

Anne Boleyn was beheaded in 1536. Like Catherine of Aragon, Anne wagered much on her womb and lost. However, Anne’s legacy lived on through her illustrious daughter, Elizabeth I.

Beheading

Beheading is a quick and effective way to end a life—provided the executioner is skilled. When Mary Stuart marched to the chopping block, it took three ax blows to sever her head; she remained conscious for the first two. Some believe that the executioner deliberately botched the job to prolong her suffering—though one wonders if nerves at dispatching such an illustrious personage to the next life played a part.

Beheading has been utilized worldwide since ancient times. During Henry’s era, the condemned were usually blindfolded after they made a pious last statement that included forgiveness of the executioner and praise for the monarch. Next, they placed their necks upon the block; in the case of women, sometimes someone held their hair to the front, to steady them for the blow to come.

Though an ax was traditionally used, Henry sent for a French swordsman to execute Anne; it was rumored that he was so skilled that she would feel no pain. Anne quipped, “He shall not have much trouble, for I have a little neck.” The queen was killed with a single sword stroke while kneeling upright midprayer.