Double Blind (22 page)

Oh,
God
.

I sink to my feet and take one of her hands, which is still warm. My throat is thick with tears when I bring it to my lips. “I’m sorry, Ma. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it!”

Her glassy eyes stare upward, unmoved.

She used to say the same thing.

It’s nearly a half hour before I get enough sense to leave through the open window. I can’t call for help. They’ll know she was smothered. They’ll know it was me. I’ll have a few days, at least, before the autopsy finds fibers around her mouth and inside her lungs, her bloodshot eyes, the high levels of carbon dioxide in her blood.

I get the fuck out of there, slipping through the window and running over the golf course back to the parking lot. I just can’t believe that after everything I’ve done, my mother was my downfall. If only I could come back at night and set fire to her room—but no, it’s too much. I have to leave town.

My whole life is here. Everything I’ve worked for. I can’t just leave here.

My hand trembles on the shift of my car.

Maybe I’m overreacting. I wiped that room of all my prints. Without anything linking me to the murder, there’s no way they’d be able to convict.

No, fuckhead. They have footage of you going inside the room.

When Tony finds out about this, he’ll go apeshit. I need to leave town.

But I’m not leaving without her.

VINCENT

I walk along the windows of my apartment as if I’ll be able to spot her from here, looking down at New York’s metropolitan jungle.

Why the
fuck
hasn’t she called me yet?

“Fuck!”

My voice echoes throughout the lonely apartment and I try not to think of what her silence might mean. Adriana isn’t stupid; she knows that we’re both in dangerous positions. I made it very clear how important it was for her to call me regularly so that I knew she was safe. It’s almost been two days, and I still haven’t heard back.

He must’ve gotten to her.

I already drove to Maria’s parents’ house and looped around. There was no sign of her inside or out. She wasn’t at her dorm, which wasn’t easy to check because I’m not even supposed to be seen near her.

My neck snaps around as the front door rattles with keys. I sweep into the foyer; heart beating a little faster than usual as I grab the piece strapped to my leg and aim it at the door. Adriana’s head pokes through and she screams when she sees the gun aimed at her head. Fuck. I put it away immediately.

“Damn it, Adriana. You better have a good fucking explanation.”

She slides in, wearing a low-cut dress that shows off her cleavage. For a moment, I forget my anger and I just want to tear her clothes from her body.

Adriana’s whitened face seems to shine in the hallway. She kicks off her heels and suddenly tackles me with a hug.

I grunt as her body collides with my chest and wrap my arms around her shaking shoulders. Fuck. What now?

“He—he choked me. Vince, I thought I was going to die.”

White-hot rage consumes my head as a pounding beat in my head keeps me from thinking of anything but how exactly I’m going to kill Carmine.

I hold her against me until I hear her squeak with pain, and then I slacken my grip. “What happened?”

“On Sunday, the feds picked me up right outside Maria’s parents’ home and when they dropped me back there, Carmine saw. He was waiting for me.”

No
.

A blazing sensation travels up my spine. If Tony found out—

“He took me to his house and—” she collapses into sobs. “It was horrible.”

I’m desperately holding in my rage for her sake.
Don
’
t scream. Don
’
t yell. Just act like everything
’
s fine.

“I’ll take care of him, Ade. Don’t you worry. He’s seen his last fucking sunset.”

She sighs into my chest and looks up at me, neither relieved nor unhappy with my decision.

“Vince, there’s something else. I found something in his apartment—a photo of my mom. Why would he have that?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
Who cares?
“We have bigger things to worry about, like the fact that Carmine saw you getting picked up by the FBI. We can’t let him tell Tony.”

Both of those pricks need to die.

Her nervous face looks up at me. “They wanted to know who killed that missing cop. Do you think he might have done it?”

Missing cop. Oh, Jesus. The one that was in the news recently?

“Fuck, I don’t know. I guess it’s possible. He’s completely out of his mind.”

“So what do we do?”

I have to admire her bravado. My arm curls around her waist as I bend over and kiss her head.

“You’ll stay here and you won’t do a goddamn thing. I’m serious, Adriana. No phone calls, giving or receiving, unless they’re from me.”

She nods, looking tired. My fingers brush against the faint bruises on her neck and pressure builds up behind my eyes.

“I can’t wait until all this is over. Will it ever be?”

“It will. I promise.” I take her delicate chin in my hand and give her a soft, quick kiss.

 I can’t believe he got her—
again
. Right under my fucking nose. I can’t stand this anymore. I feel violated. He took her throat and nearly strangled her to death. When I get ahold of him, I’ll make him beg for me to kill him.

Adriana rubs her neck, making a pained face. I want to break down. I want to succumb to madness and kill every asshole that touched her in the last few weeks: Carmine, Tony, Jack, and anyone else who threatened and stalked her.

This whole thing is just out of control. Everybody has lost their place. Even me.

I just feel powerless.

But not anymore. I’m going to take things into my own hands. No more tiptoeing around bosses and fucking rules. No more playing nice. No more pretending I give a fuck about this stupid deal.

There are bruises on her neck from a man who she was forced to date. A man she would’ve never met if she was never in my life.

Would she be better off not knowing me?

The sudden thought stuns me. I shove it away, refusing to think about it anymore.

“Are you okay?”

I take her face in my hands, searching her eyes for a clue for something that’ll make her crash, make her relapse.

“I’ll be okay if I’m with you, I just want him out of my life.” Adriana lowers her head. “I wish I could’ve found out something. Makes everything I did seem pointless.”

It’s too painful for me to stay here, and my self-restraint is cracking. “I need to go.”

Her eyes well with tears and she clutches my sides, her nails digging in. I hate to see the tears in her eyes.

“Don’t cry, baby.”

“I can’t fucking help it!” She bursts out, wiping her hands over her eyes.

“I’ll be
fine
, baby. I’m always fine.” A smile twitches on my face. “You’re the one I have to worry about. You’re constantly getting into trouble.”

I worry about her all the time.

“Maybe I should handcuff you to my bed,” I say with a weak smile, trying to cheer her up, “so that when I come back, you’ll be right where I want you to be.”

Her look of amusement turns to alarm when I take both her wrists and hold them behind her back. “Vince, no!”

For a moment, I seriously consider doing it, but there’s no time for games.

“I love you.”

Her arms tighten around my middle and I sigh into her hair. I just want to stay here and curl up with her on the couch, and forget about all this bullshit.

“I love you, baby. Always.”

I kiss the top of her head and her arms unwind from me. I give her a stern look.

“Do not fucking leave this place under any circumstances.”

“I won’t.”

For once, I don’t see any desire in her eyes to disobey me.

“If I find out you’ve placed so much as a toe outside this apartment, I’ll whip your ass until it bleeds. So don’t do it.”

“I’m not an idiot, Vince. I don’t want to die.”

The corners of my mouth lift as I turn around, heading for the door. All lightness drops away from my eyes as I think about what I’m going to do and the bastards who will pay. They will fucking pay.

* * *

Where is that son of a bitch?

I’ve checked the casino, I peeked inside his house, and I’ve been to the deli in Jersey.

It’s like he’s gone.

My car parks into the Crazy Horse strip club parking lot. The rest of my crew is here, and maybe they have information. I enter through the back, knocking furiously. Patsy, a balding man with glasses, opens the door for me.

“Vinny!”

“Hey, Pats.”

I walk into the room and see Nicky, Tom, Paulie, and every other captain already inside, and Jack.

Fucking Jack. My mood sours immediately.

Jack sits at a round table, counting money with Paulie. I make a beeline for Nicky.

“Hey, look who’s here!”

I cut to the chase. “I need to find Carmine Lucchesi. Do you know where he is? He didn’t show up to work today.”

Nicky gives me a bewildered look. “How the fuck should I know where he is?” He reaches in his jacket and gives me an envelope stuffed with cash.

I take it and shove it in mine, not even bothering to count it. Collecting what’s owed me is the last thing on my mind right now.

But I can’t just go shouting about finding Carmine. If I’m going to whack him, it’ll have to be secret. Silent.

I also need to kill that fat fuck, Tony. I’ll wrap my hands around him until his eyes bug out. Piece of shit. I should’ve shot him in the face at that sit-down with John and Jack.

One crisis at a time.

“You all right, Vinny? You look pissed.”

“I need to find Carmine.”

Suddenly, Jack appears at my elbow and tugs my arm. I have to resist the urge to shove him away.

“Vince, we need to talk.”

I’m about to tell him off, but his blue eyes harden and I remember the time he buried his gun in a made guy’s stomach and shot him for slapping his niece around. I helped him get rid of the body, and we passed around the story that he went into the Witness Protection Program. Under that calm gaze, unpredictable fury boils. He’s the boss. I have to respect him.

“Fine.”

I follow him into the back, that memory burning in my mind as he takes me into his office.

“Have you heard?” he asks me.

“What?”

“Carmine’s mother is dead. The nursing home called Tony. They think he strangled her while he was visiting.”

A ripple of shock runs through my body. “Holy shit.” I can’t even imagine doing that to my own mother. “What a sick fuck.”

“Tony donates a lot of money to that place, so they’re trying to get the coroner’s office to write natural causes on the death certificate. Anyway, Tony is pissed. This could be it.”

Somehow, this gives me a bad feeling. Carmine must be feeling desperate.

“I need to find him.”

“
No
. You poking around will only make things worse. Let Tony deal with him.”

I grit my teeth. “We should deal with both of them.”

“Are you fucking nuts? He’s a boss, Vince.”

“A boss who tried to have us all killed, remember? I don’t trust the fat fuck. After everything he’s done, he deserves it.”

Jack grabs my shoulders. “For Christ’s sake, listen to yourself! You’re talking about whacking a boss, Vince—”

“Who tried to kill us all a few weeks ago! Jesus, what happened to your balls?”

Jack’s fist whirls out of nowhere, smashing into the side of my face. I grunt as the force of his blow sends me reeling, and then he grabs my neck and slams me against the wall.

“You got something you want to say to me?”

Yeah. You
’
re a dickless asshole who
’
s going to run this whole family into the ground.

My head radiates with heat. “Oh, there’s a lot of shit I want to say to you.”

“Go ahead, asshole.”

I swallow hard, looking into the blue eyes I used to trust. “I’m doing this, Jack. Adriana was almost killed again by that fuck, and I’m going to put an end to him now. With or without your approval.”

He lets go of me and steps back, running a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair. “How is she?”

“Okay, considering the circumstances. She’s at my house.”

“Look, there’s something you should know.” Jack gives me a wary glance as he sits down, looking nervous. “I found out stuff about Carmine that—I found out from Tony that he used to be obsessed with a woman who lived in Brooklyn years and years back. He was supposed to collect payments from the family and that’s it, but he killed the husband. She lived in Bushwick.”

A beam of understanding shoots through his eyes into mine.

“It couldn’t be Adriana’s dad, could it?” A rush to my brain makes my vision dark for a few seconds. “Oh,
Maddon.
”

“I just found this out. That sick fuck had it bad for her mother. There’s no way he didn’t know about her from the beginning.”

My body feels strangely hollow, as if someone reached in and yanked out all my guts.

Tony must have known, too, and he still sent her after Carmine.

“I need to go—I need to see her.”

He shouts something, but I’m already out the door. I sprint towards my car without knowing why. I drive home so fast that I almost kill myself. Then I sprint up the staircase without missing a beat because there’s fire flowing in my veins.

I jig the doorknob to my place, and it swings wide open.

Oh, no. No, please.

Shit.

I grab my gun and enter the apartment, my ears straining for any sound. My arms swing from room to room, thoroughly searching without any sign of her.

“Adriana! ADRIANA!”

My throat becomes hoarse from my bellowing. A violent, nauseating feeling overcomes my body when I see water from the bathtub spilled all over the tiles like blood, the only sign of a struggle in the house. I look at the puddles of water and I almost want to cry. I see red pools instead of clear ones, and I see what Adriana might look like after he’s through with her.