Whoever it was on the ottoman stood up and began to walk slowly toward him. He reached for the bottom of the sweatshirt and grabbed hold, pulling upward, taking the t-shirt beneath too. The fabric lifted on one side, exposing the left side of the torso.
There was no scar from a stab wound.
It was Brennan.
“I’m so sorry,” Luka sighed.
“Hey, it’s all right. You guys look alike sometimes too,” Brennan said in Evan’s voice. He wrapped a hand around Luka’s neck, drawing him down. Luka pressed a kiss to Brennan’s forehead, pushing the hood back and folding his hands around the sides of Brennan’s newly shorn head. The bruising was shockingly dark, the stitches painful to look at. It made sense that Brennan would want to get a little lost in the safety of looking like Evan, instead of having to flaunt the wounds he’d suffered, proof of a crime he had not yet been able to talk about in detail with anyone other than Jimmy.
It was maddening to have to wait to ask everything he wanted to ask, but Luka knew Brennan deserved their patience and understanding. No one should be made to talk about things that were still too painful to face. Luka had experienced too much of his own pain to force anyone else to suffer just to satisfy his curiosity.
“Not like this. I didn’t know.
I should know you
, always.”
“Help me with something?”
“Anything,” Luka replied, sighing as he savored the feel of Brennan, secure in Luka’s arms.
Brennan pulled away, phone still in his hand. He glanced toward the exercise equipment in the corner of the room.
“I wanna smash this,” he said. “I was thinking of using the weights over there. Put one on the floor, put the phone on top, then bash it with another. What do you think?”
“Why do you want to smash your phone?” Luka asked with confusion and some alarm at the yearning for violence he was seeing in Brennan.
“I should have ditched it a while ago, so he couldn’t text me anymore. All of them, actually. Should have left all of those people behind and not looked back.”
“Babe, we can go down to the shopping center and just have them assign a new number to your phone. Or turn it in to be replaced with a new one since your screen is cracked. You don’t have to smash it with weights,” Luka said, slowly reaching out to take the phone from Brennan’s hand. “Tommy has been texting you? For how long?”
Brennan avoided eye contact. Once Luka had taken the phone from him, Brennan stuck his hands in the pockets of the sweatshirt, hunching over slightly. “A while.”
“How long’s a while?”
Brennan sighed, looking uncomfortable.
“He was texting you the whole time?!” Luka gasped. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I thought it was just pathetic, you know,” he murmured, scuffing a sneaker on the carpet. “Not scary.” He glanced up at Luka then. “But I’m moving on, okay? I know better now.”
“Don’t let him change you. Don’t give him that kind of power.”
“I’m not doing it for him! I want this. This makes me happy,” Brennan argued softly, looking upset and resolved at the same time. It was eerie, how whenever Brennan looked miserable, or grew serious, he looked just like his brother. It always gave Luka a funny feeling of vertigo.
“You’re not Evan,” Luka countered, tenderly. “You’re you, and I
love
you.”
“Did you grow your hair out to look like Alek?” Brennan replied, right away.
“No, but—”
“Did Alek?”
“No,” Luka sighed. “Hey, what happened with your other friends? Why are you looking to leave them behind?”
The water in the shower shut off. They both glanced toward the bedrooms, uncertain whether it was Evan or Alek who would soon appear. Brennan was gazing almost longingly at the bedroom he’d shared with Evan.
“Don’t wanna talk about it right now,” was all Brennan said.
I can only push him so much. I won’t push him away.
“Whatever you need, okay?” Luka said to him. “No judging. I’m here whenever you want to talk.”
Brennan didn’t respond, he just kept looking toward the bedroom, like he wanted to go back there, where things were easier. It made Luka feel awful.
Evan isn’t safe either. Neither of them are. They’ve both been through too much.
“You still want to smash the phone? I’ll help, if you do.” Maybe it was the violence of the act that appealed to Brennan.
What did Tommy do to you, Bren? How badly did he hurt you?
There was no reply, not even a sign that he’d heard what Luka said. Brennan just stared out into space.
“Bren?” Luka tried again.
Then, Evan emerged from the bedroom, and right away, Brennan went to him, hugging Evan like he needed it more than anything else at that moment.
Evan caught Luka’s gaze and looked somewhat apologetic.
At least Brennan’s a fighter. He fought to get home, and it looks like he fought Tommy off. But Evan.... Evan never fought like that. He gave up, tried to check out for good. Alek and I have to fight that, keep them both here, and keep them safe, somehow.
“Gotta get rid of the phone,” Brennan was saying.
“I told him we could get his number changed. He still needs a phone so we can contact him,” Luka said. “And we all need to talk about this. We need to talk about everything that’s happened while Brennan was away.”
Brennan finally pulled out of the hug, looking at Evan questioningly. When Evan lowered his gaze, Luka saw it affect Brennan. He laid a hand against Evan’s face, caressing his freshly shaved cheek, imploring silently, frowning heavily. “Evan... what—”
But Evan just shook his head, pulling away, or trying to at least. Brennan was determined. He kept Evan there and gently tried to kiss away his sadness. Luka knew the feeling. He also knew that there was no kissing away Evan’s wounds, but they were never going to heal if he didn’t at least admit they were there. After Alek had told Luka what had been said in that trailer, Luka had seen how Evan was clearly holding back from them. But holding back what?
Luka went to find Alek, leaving the twins alone until all four of them were there and ready.
It was Alek who decided, in the end. There was a priority list, things to check off. First came safety. Talking could wait. They could do something to prevent Tommy from contacting Brennan, so before anything else, they needed to cut off Tommy’s ability to call or text Brennan.
“I could just take him over to the store,” Alek offered.
“Why you? No, I want to be there with him,” Luka argued.
“Well, I’m not leaving Evan here alone.”
“Evan’s coming,” Brennan said definitely.
“Fine. Then I guess we’re all going.”
“Why aren’t you leaving me here alone?” Evan asked, confused.
Alek and Luka shared a look, then said at the same time, “We’ll talk about it later.” At which point Evan and Brennan shared a look of their own, then shrugged.
They all got ready to go. Brennan didn’t argue, he just silently accepted the fact that he’d have three chaperones on his venture to get his phone number changed.
They took Evan’s car. Alek drove. Luka rode shotgun, since it seemed pretty clear they’d be unable to pry Evan and Brennan apart long enough to get them in different seats. The drive to the shopping center was quick enough. They found a spot close to the entrance.
Luka knew Evan was sensitive about being in public with them all, and especially with anything that involved public displays of affection. That was a discussion Brennan had missed out on entirely. Curious about whether Evan would let Brennan hold his hand or not, given the extreme circumstances, Luka stayed a step behind them. At least if he kept an eye on them, it helped him feel more in control. After what happened with Drew, what happened with Jimmy, losing touch with Brennan for so long, then having him show up injured and on the verge of unconsciousness on their doorstep, it had done a lot to shake Luka up. Nothing was right but he wasn’t sure how to fix it.
Alek walked by Luka’s side, allowing a normal amount of space between them. They kept their hands off each other.
Brennan seemed content with looping his arm through Evan’s. He looked beaten up enough that the people they passed on the sidewalk didn’t seem to question it. It was understandable that he might need the extra support.
Luka did notice, more than he ever had before, how much attention they drew. His eyes were suddenly opened to the real, possibly dangerous effect they had by drawing the notice of those around them. It was partially the argument with Evan that had done it, but a big part of it was also being so afraid for Brennan, especially when Tommy was out there, suffering no consequences for hurting Brennan. On top of that, imagining running into one of his exes while they were all together, in public, gave Luka a shiver of terror. His exes weren’t people he was in a hurry to introduce to his current boyfriends. The run-in with Drew made that clear.
Almost every person they passed or who saw them seemed to do a double-take, then stare. Evan and Brennan gave off a defensive vibe, so it seemed to fall to Luka and Alek to smile politely and pretend everything was normal, when
nothing
felt normal.
As they approached the door to the phone store, a little girl waiting on the curb with two women tugged at the sleeve of the woman closest to her and said, “Look, Mama! Look!” Then, she pointed at the two sets of twins, gaping at them.
The mother looked up, did her own double-take, then said in a hushed voice to the girl, “Don’t point, hon, it’s rude.”
Luka took a deep breath and glimpsed Evan’s face, his expression controlled and closed-off, his hand overlapping Brennan’s where it was curled around his elbow.
Alek hurried ahead to get the door. He held it as they walked into the store.
Right away, it was like Luka could feel everyone inside stop talking and turn to stare at them.
How did I not notice this before? Was I really so oblivious?
Granted, there had been few instances of the four of them being out in public together, so he’d had limited opportunity
to
take notice, but still.... He must have blocked it out. He hadn’t realized how creepy it was to be such a draw for the attention of everyone around them, even when they weren’t doing anything strange or remarkable. They weren’t holding hands or giving any sign of being gay, but they still were getting looks like they had purple skin with horns sticking out of their heads.
Alek walked up to the young man at the counter, who wore a name-tag that read, “Steve.”
“Hi,” Alek said politely and professionally, the businessman of the foursome. “We’re looking to get a phone number changed for an account he has with your company. He also has a cracked screen, so I’m not sure whether that can be repaired or if we can have it replaced. Can you help us with that?”
“Of course, sir,” Steve replied, smiling and glancing between their four matching faces repeatedly, like he couldn’t help comparing and contrasting. “What’s the name the account is under?”
“Brennan Holt,” Brennan said, stepping forward with his phone and some account paperwork from a box they’d dug out of the walk-in closet before leaving.
The process and paperwork took a few minutes. Luka wandered around the store, looking at all of the phones and tablets on display while Alek stood guard by the younger twins, and Evan stayed dutifully by Brennan’s side. Luka kept catching Evan looking his way, and understood that Evan would have wandered off, too, if he hadn’t known Brennan wanted him right where he was. Evan was enduring the uncomfortable added attention simply for Brennan’s sake. It was funny, though, how as soon as Luka went to the other side of the store, he stopped getting stares. People stopped comparing his features to Alek’s. He was simply allowed to shop and blend in.
But, as he tried out different smart phones mindlessly, Luka’s thoughts wandered. He scanned the faces of people passing by the store, crossing the sidewalk as they trudged here and there, thinking of Drew. Back when they had been involved with him, Luka had been the one encouraging Alek to break it off, to find someone else who was a little less... creepy. Luka had never liked Drew’s fetish for taking photos and videos of sex, but Drew had always been pleasant company, and was always ready whenever he got the call that the twins were bored and looking for some company, even if it was in the middle of the night in the middle of the week. But the thought of Drew holding onto those images of the three of them, together, in compromising positions, was highly unsettling.
It sounded like Drew had casually come upon Alek and Evan in the grocery store, and right away started to make suggestive comments about his familiarity with Alek and Luka, and Evan’s age, and his perceived involvement with the Popovićs. Maybe it had just been an uncomfortable, unfortunate chance encounter that wasn’t worth worrying about. But why didn’t it feel that way?
There were quite a few people who lived in the area with whom Alek and Luka had been sexually active. Would they run into more of them? And what about Evan? He’d lived in Whippoorwill his whole life, and he had been with guys before they’d met him. Would they run into Evan’s exes too? Were one of those people out on the sidewalk a possible participant in one of the many anonymous encounters Evan had partaken in as a teenager? He remembered how Evan had met Alek—in a bar, an anonymous hookup with someone obviously much older than him. Had that guy walking past, wearing a football jersey and laughing loudly into his phone, talked Evan into sucking his cock in an alley beside a bar? Would Evan ever admit to seeing one of his exes, or would he just try to pretend he didn’t recognize the guy? Luka knew how Evan was, how non-confrontational....