Double-Sided Witch (Covencraft Book 3) (27 page)

“You did say you had an abusive childhood. Or rather, you’ve alluded to it.”

Jade nodded. “I did. We did. But from what I’ve read the abuse has to be really severe for something like a dissociative identity to form and that just wasn’t the case. Our dad drank. He knocked us around and it was really shitty.  But not extraordinary? If that makes sense?”

“Do all your memories include Lily? There was never a time you were without her?”

“No, never.” She shook her head. “She’s always been there.” Jade took another bite of toast while Paris thought of his next question.

“How do you switch? Where do you go?”

Jade shrugged. “I go away, or more to the back. I’m there but not. I can go to sleep if I don’t want to do something. Like swimming. I don’t like water and I can’t swim. But Lily can and if she ever wanted to go, I would go to sleep. Or sometimes it was just… tiring being together all the time. So one of us would sleep.”

“Her magic feels very different from yours.”

“Lily has magic?” Jade sat up a bit.

“That surprises you?” asked Paris, his eyebrows going up.

Jade nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know why, but I just… I didn’t think she had magic. Huh. What’s it like?”

Paris thought for a moment. “It’s slower than yours. More sedate. Smells like grapefruit and cinnamon. You’re more like flowers and cloves.” Paris brushed the crumbs off the table and into his palm, depositing them back on his empty plate. “How did it work when you were younger?”

“You mean how often did we switch?” Jade asked and Paris nodded. “I don’t know. It’s not like there was a schedule. We both paid attention in school. That was helpful on tests. I’ve a better memory than her, so I did most of the reading. But she’s better with people. She likes talking to them, getting to know them. She had more friends or, I guess, all the friends.”

“Has no one else ever known about both of you?”

Jade shook her head. “No.”

“But she hasn’t been here while you’ve been at the Coven,” Paris clarified.

“No. It’s just been me for a long time. For about six years.”

“Why? Where did she go?”

Jade thought about when Lily went away. Died. That’s what Jade had thought it was. She thought Lily was dead, never to return. Only now she was back. Did she die? Could she die if Jade was still alive? Thinking of that day made Jade feel sick. She could still see it perfectly in her head - the white tiles of the bathroom, the water in the tub, and then blood, so much blood everywhere and Jade waking up alone. She’d been by herself and didn’t know what to do, she’d always had Lily, always. Being alone was terrifying and awful.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now.”

Paris’ voice cut through her thoughts and she looked down to see one of his hands resting on hers again, but his attention was focused on the flames burning in her sink. She didn’t realize she’d lit them, her magic fuelling them a dark blue-green color. She took a deep breath and pulled them back, watching them die down slowly and then sputter out.

“If you don’t want to answer something or can’t talk about something, I won’t make you,” Paris said.

“I know,” she answered. She felt raw - all her emotions too close to the surface. She knew she didn’t have to answer his questions, but it was liberating to sit here and tell him things. “You’ve a nice face for talking to.”

“How so?” he asked, his lips curling slightly in a smile. He kept his hand resting on hers. It was warm against her skin.

Jade shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know. You just don’t look all judgy when I say stuff. You look like you’re interested, but you’re not hustling me along.”

“You’ve carried these secrets for a long time. Secrets like that aren’t easy to let go of.”

She ate more of her toast and the kitchen was quiet. Not awkwardly quiet, but just silent save for the sound of her chewing.

“Where is Lily now?”

“Sleeping, I think,” Jade said and then she let her mind drift, poking at the edges for where she used to be able to feel Lily. It wasn’t quite like before, when she always knew Lily was there, but if Jade concentrated, she could feel Lily just out of her reach - on the perimeter, like a circumference around Jade’s brain. “I think… I think coming back has been really tiring for her. I think she was really far away. Or really deep down. Like being underwater,” she added, as an afterthought, thinking of the lake and its heavy, pressure-bearing weight. “I think she’s been trying to reach me through my dreams. I think some of the dreams I’ve been having have been about her.”

“Just some?”

Jade nodded. “Sometimes, in my dreams, I’m at home, where we grew up and Lily’s there. She’s there in the other dreams too, at the lake, but it’s different there. There’s someone else there with us, at the lake.”

“The Sparrow Lady?” Paris questioned and Jade looked up at him sharply. “You mentioned her at the lake. You said Lily warned you about her.”

“Lily said that it’s easier to get to me in my dreams. For both her and the Sparrow Lady.”

“Do you know who she is? Is she like Lily?”

“No,” Jade said quickly, hoping her expression clearly stated what she thought of that idea. “Not at all. She’s… there, but I don’t see her face. I don’t know her.”

“What does she do?”

“She’s just there. Although, once, I was underwater and she was pulling me down, toward the bottom only it never ended, I just kept going deeper and deeper.” Jade shivered and took a sip of her coffee. It was cooling off and she wanted to microwave some warmth back into it, but she didn’t want to get up.

“Is there anything you recognize about her? Is she a Coven member?”

“No, nothing. I don’t recognize her shape or magic. I don’t feel her when I’m awake. I don’t know if that means anything.”

“When you were trying to cast your dream spell and it wasn’t working, I thought… I thought I felt someone working against your magic. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t certain, or rather, I wasn’t certain what I should do about it.”

“Honestly, I should probably be really pissed at you for not telling me, but I’m so goddamn tired, I can’t even be angry right now,” Jade said, feeling the deep truth of her words. He shouldn’t have kept it from her, but she didn’t know if she would have been able to do anything with the information or if it would have been just one more thing overloading her mind. “Do you know who?”

“No. It wasn’t anyone’s magic that I recognized. I thought I smelled vanilla, but that’s a rather common element to most people’s magic, so it doesn’t narrow it down.”

“So if Sparrow Lady is the one hijacking my dreams, it sounds like she wants to keep hijacking them and didn’t want me doing any magic to break that.”

“Well, that can be resolved. If you’re amenable, I’ll cast some wards over you tonight, and I can stay here again if that’s all right with you.”

That sounded like a pretty great idea to Jade. Between Lily showing up and someone messing with her magic and her dreams, Jade didn’t really want to be in the house by herself. Of course she had Bruce, but whatever this unknown woman was doing, he hadn’t stopped her before, so Jade doubted Bruce would be much assistance.

“Yeah, I would appreciate that.” She struggled getting the words out, feeling a little embarrassed at needing the help.

As if he read her thoughts, Paris leaned forward, his eyes bright blue and earnest. “It’s not easy asking for help when you need it. Smart people are able to push past how they feel about it and ask anyway.” He gave her hand a squeeze and she thought she might be blushing. Her face was hot and she felt nervous. “I should probably go to my place and pick up a few things. Are you okay to stay here by yourself for a short while? I could call Callie or Henri to come over. Or if you prefer, I’m sure Callie could pick up the things I need and I can stay.”

“No, I’m okay now. It’s light outside and I’m not planning on sleeping, so…” she shrugged.

“All right, I’ll be back in an hour or so. I’m also going to email the Coven and tell them you’re on a bit of a leave. And that I might be as well.”

“Jesus, don’t word it that way or people will think I’ve seduced you into leaving the Coven. That’s all I need - they’ll make me a scarlet letter to wear across my chest.”

“I’m sure I can find a tolerable way to phrase it,” Paris said, pulling his hand away and standing up. Jade’s skin felt cold and clammy where his hand had been. “But if not, red is a charming color on you.”

#

With
Paris gone, Jade decided to busy herself by putting away more of her things. She’d set up the coffee pot when she’d arrived and unpacked her clothes, but everything else needed putting away. She was just finishing off her coffee, when the back of her neck itched. She groaned and looked directly at the pantry.

She could feel Seth coming.

Just as he appeared in the pantry, his eyes glittering and his teeth pristinely white and smiling, she murmured a quick wind spell. The door to the pantry shut in his face.

“I’m sure that was a mistake, Possum. I won’t hold it against you.”

“Go away,” she yelled, getting up and putting her mug and plate in the dishwasher. She heard the loud thump of Bruce jumping off something upstairs and then the telltale sound of him scampering down the stairs. He showed up in the kitchen just as the handle of the pantry door was turning. Seth pushed it open and Bruce ran up to the doorway, spitting at him, Elizabethan lizard collar raised.

“Lovely to see you as well, Possum. And of course your horrid little lizard thing. And you’re awake this time!”

Jade frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh! Didn’t your English boyfriend tell you? I felt some magic in your vicinity the other night and I popped by to see what all the fuss was about, but you were in the arms of Morpheus. Or perhaps Phobetor, he of nightmares. Tell me, which one was it?”

Seth had visited her? While she’d been asleep? Jade had thought she’d gotten used to being afraid of him, but knowing he’d seen her while she’d been asleep hit her freak-out-o-meter hard, burying the needle. But, if what he was saying could be trusted, Paris had been there.

So, Jade hadn’t been totally vulnerable.

“What do you want?”

Seth shrugged one shoulder. “I told you. Wibbly-wobbly demon magic about. I like to keep tabs on it. And on you.” He leaned forward, still trapped within the confines of her pantry, but as close as he could get to the barrier. He studied her, his dark eyes flashing gold for a moment. “Do you know, in some mythologies a person’s doppelgänger is a harbinger of bad luck? Some even say it could mean death.”

Jade’s throat felt tight and she wished she had waited to eat her toast. What was Seth implying? Would Lily’s return mean death for Jade? Would Jade have to go ‘away’ like Lily had gone away?

“So serious! Look at your face! I don’t mean to scare you so, Possum. Just making conversation. I’m very proud of you, you know. You’re holding up quite well given that you’re being pushed and pulled at like taffy.”

Bruce spat three times at the ground again and then looked at Seth with a challenging expression on his face.

Jade crossed her arms over her chest. “Who’s doing all the pushing and pulling, Seth? You know, don’t you?”

Seth tapped a finger against his temple. “I do, I do. But it’s always tricky for demons you know. We’ve a lot of rules to abide by. Why do you think your legal system and lawmaking is so horrid? All based on demon rules and regulations. We were the first to go about making laws, statutes and edicts. Demons without rules are just a recipe for chaos.” He sighed. “Ah, the good old days. But now,” he rolled his eyes, “ugh, the paperwork, the red-tape. If I tell you too much, do you know how many forms I have to fill out? Preposterous. And not nearly as fun as dismembering souls or watching people suffer. Torture for us is a trip to City Hall.” Seth shuddered.

“So if you tell me who is behind this, that breaks a rule.”

This time, Seth tapped his finger on his nose in a ‘you got it’ gesture.

Jade frowned, her memory percolating. “But the last time you said you couldn’t tell me something, it was about Matthew, and you couldn’t tell me because he’d made a deal with another demon.”

Seth’s eyes lit up and he placed his hands in front of him, as though he were an angel in prayer. He smiled at her and then raised his eyebrows, his face saying, ‘go on.’

“You couldn’t tell me about Matthew because you can’t tell me about other demon deals, other than your own.”

Seth clapped the tips of his fingers together in tiny applause. “Very close, just one more bit.”

“So whoever is pushing and pulling at me,” Jade said, “has a deal with another demon and it involves me somehow.”

“Bingo! Oh, you’re so good at this! I love playing games with you.” Seth smiled and Jade had to blink against the force of his personality coming through.

“Sorry, possum. I got a little carried away there.” He drew back on his power, and Jade didn’t feel dizzy anymore.

“Is someone trying to steal my power again?” God, what was it with this Coven? Paris had said that witches didn’t deal with demons, that it was taboo, but from Jade’s vantage point, it was pretty regular.