Double-Sided Witch (Covencraft Book 3) (23 page)

“What happens in them?”

“I’m walking, near the lake. There’s a dock. Sometimes I go out on the dock. I see my reflection a lot. In the water, or there are mirrors. Sometimes…” she paused not sure how to articulate it. “There’s someone else there, but I don’t know who. I don’t see her. I just know she’s there. I can see her in the trees.”

“Is it Lily?”

Jade shook her head. “No. Sometimes she’s there too, but it’s not her out in the trees.”

“What does the woman in the trees do?”

“She used to just be there and didn’t really do anything, but last night…” she frowned, trying to recall the images. Last night Jade had been her own reflection until she hadn’t been - then it had been Lily. There had been water, a lot of water, and someone holding Jade down. But not Lily. It wouldn’t have been Lily.

Could it?

“Last night I dreamt she held me underwater. And I went away.”

“Away where?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Just away.”

“Who is she? Do you see her face?”

She shook her head. “No. Just the shape of her. The water…” she waved one of her hands around. “It made everything wavy and weird. I couldn’t see.”

Stealing a glance at Paris, she could see him nodding thoughtfully. He took a quick sip of his own coffee and she hurriedly matched his movements, feeling better copying him, mimicking him - as though it made everything normal and sane.

“When I led you to back to bed last night, you went directly to the closet. All your bedclothes were already there. Last night you said you’ve been sleeping there a lot. That you used to do it when you were little. You and Lily.”

“Yeah.” She took a deep breath and tried to calm the pounding of her heart. She felt a little sick and shaky - an influx of adrenaline coursing through her body with no outlet.

“Who is Lily?”

Jade swallowed, feeling tears spring to her eyes. Her throat was tight. She wanted to tell him, but at the same time she didn’t. Jade knew how it sounded. It sounded like she was crazy. That she had some kind of traumatic childhood and had a disorder and maybe made up an imaginary playmate to bond with. But that wasn’t what happened. Jade couldn’t remember how it happened - she just knew she never remembered a time when she didn’t have Lily. Lily was always there, always present. When Jade tried to think if there was ever a time without Lily, there was just nothing. Darkness. And maybe sometimes the feeling of being cold. How could she say that to Paris? What made her think she could ever tell him? Tell anyone? She started to tell him last night about Lily. It seemed safer then, with Bruce pressed up against her. Now, in the brighter morning light with Bruce a whole floor away, she wasn’t sure if she should have said anything at all. Ever. Maybe it was all a big mistake. Maybe…

She felt her power slipping out a second before it happened. The window over the sink broke with a mighty crack - a spiderweb of light and glass the spread through pane. Paris’ magic settled over hers quickly, like a heavy, wet blanket. Her power bucked against it at first, but then Jade pulled it back, trying to get a hold of it.

“Sorry,” she said. “I don’t mean to.”

“I know.” His voice was the kind used on scared dogs or children. “It’s just a window. It can be replaced.”

There were several more seconds of her just sitting there, trying to think of what to say, of how to say it, or even if she should say anything at all.

“I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t know what to say.”

“Is she you?”

“No,” Jade answered quickly. Her eyes threatened to spill over when she added, “Maybe?” God, what if she’d been wrong this whole time? What if she really was just sick and she’d been deluding herself? Don’t they always say crazy people don’t think they’re crazy? But then if she thought she could be crazy, did that mean she wasn’t?

There was a popping sound as a small fire burst up on top of the table. Paris flinched back and Jade winced.

“Sorry,” she said again. “I can put that out.” She concentrated on the power burst, but found that she couldn’t quite get a handle on it.

“It’s fine,” Paris said. “It’s not actually burning the table. Or even putting out that much heat. I think your power just needs to breathe a bit. You can let it burn, if you like.”

She stopped trying to put it out and just let it go, feeling the warmth on her face, watching the flickering orange and red flames. It was soothing to her. 

A loud buzzing sound distracted her and she realized that it was coming from Paris. He frowned and reached into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone. The lines on his face deepened when he read what was on his screen.

“What?” Jade asked, warily, pulling back from the table.

“I asked Josef to keep me up to date on the Counter-Magic reports on the lake and to let me know if anything changed. He says there’s been a rush of complaints this morning.”

She curled backward in her chair. “From last night? From when I was dreaming?”

“Yes. You’ve noticed this trend?”

“I saw the log and I noticed that when I dream the calls come in.”

Paris pocketed his phone. “There’s more magic in the area than there should be.” He looked at Jade and while it wasn’t a harsh look, she still felt nervous meeting his eyes. “I think we need to go to the lake.”

The flames on the table puffed out large in a big ball, like someone had let a bunch of oxygen into the room and then sucked it back out. It surprised Jade and she jerked back in her chair before she realized she’d even done it. She’d never been afraid of her own magic before. She quickly tamped down on her power, putting the fire out totally.

Jade put her coffee down, but kept her hands wrapped around the warm ceramic. She felt like she had to work really hard to push the next words out. “I’m afraid to.”

“Why? What do you think will happen?”

I feel like something awful will happen, or something awful already happened.
Jade shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yeah.” Jade wasn’t sure why that mattered. It wasn’t Paris that she didn’t trust. It was herself.

“Trust that I won’t let anything happen.”

“I don’t know if you can make that kind of promise. I don’t think it’s up to you.”

“Whom is it up to?”

Me. I think it’s me. Or Lily. Or both of us. I don’t know that anyone can stop it.
She shrugged.

Paris reached a hand out toward hers, hovering slightly for a moment before he carefully set his hand on top of one of her own. She stared down at their fingers - his skin slightly darker than hers. Her fingers were white with how hard she was holding the mug. He put slight, even pressure on her hand and she slowly, so slowly, let go off the mug, her hand coming to rest on the table. He wrapped his fingers around her hand. She couldn’t remember the last time someone, anyone, had held her hand. His hand was warm, almost hot on hers. She couldn’t look up at him. It felt really intimate and she felt like if she looked at him, she’d have to pull her hand away. As long as she didn’t look at him, as long as she only looked at his hand, then she could leave her own hand there, underneath his. Not trapped. Secured.

“Trust me, Jade. Trust that if something happens out there, I will help you figure it out.”

Maybe that could be the difference. With Lily gone, Jade had been alone and everything rested on her. Even now, with Jade feeling like maybe Lily was coming back, she still felt this relentless pressure - a constant weight on her shoulders. She felt like she was carrying it alone.

“Okay. I’ll go to the lake.”

#

Jade
had been waiting for so long to have her car with her and now that she did, she didn’t want to drive it. Normally, having someone else drive her car would be anathema to her - her car was synonymous with her freedom, her independence. It meant she could go where she wanted, when she wanted. Today, though, she felt too tired to focus on the road or like she couldn’t be trusted to get them to the Preserve. Perhaps at the last moment, she would suddenly turn the car around and drive as far away from the lake as possible.

Jade silently handed Paris the keys as soon as they stepped out of the little cottage. His eyebrows went up in surprise, but he took them without a word. Just as Jade was about to shut the front door, Bruce bounded out, looking a little anxious and nervous. He immediately made his way to the car and Jade opened the back door for him to hop in and stretch out. She hadn’t thought about bringing him and felt a little unsure at his presence, but if he wanted to go, she wasn’t about to leave him at home either.

Once Jade and Paris were both in their respective seats, Paris driving and Jade the passenger, Bruce’s head came between the two of them, as if he wanted to ensure that they both knew he was there. This morning, in the closet, Jade hadn’t had a chance to take a look at his scaly patch. Seeing it now made her think twice about taking him. The cracks were pink and raw, looking like gothic spiderwebs across his neck. She swallowed thickly as she stared at red lines, careful to pet only areas far away from them. Bruce’s eyes slitted half shut at her attention for a moment and then he turned his head to Paris. Jade knew the moment Paris saw the sore spot. His eyebrows went in a bit and he looked even more serious and solemn.

“It’s getting worse,” he said, unnecessarily. “Hourly, it seems.”

After getting some solid head pets from Paris, Bruce pulled away, into the back seat and stretched out along the width of the car, smacking his lips as he lay down.

“I looks like it hurts.” Jade turned in her seat to stare at Bruce.

“I’m not sure about that. He doesn’t seem to be in pain.”

“He keeps showing it to us.”

“Yes, but he’s not overly careful of it when he lies down or moves. I don’t know if it does hurt him.”

Jade turned back around in her seat, buckling her belt and then crossing her arms over her chest. It was cold in the car. Or rather, it was cold outside and the car had taken on the ambient temperature. As Paris started it and pulled away from the cottage, the vents blew frosty air, making her shiver. It was a dry winter. There hadn’t been any lingering snow yet, leaving everything in varying shades of brown. The grass, the trees, the hedges - all stark and spindly. While running in the Preserve with Daniel she watched fall turn to winter, but after skipping a few days, it was like her world changed overnight. It was kind of like that first day in fall when you noticed that suddenly, all the leaves were yellow. Only now, with winter settling in, everything was bare and barren. She sniffed, feeling her nose start to run from the dip in the temperature. She couldn’t believe she’d been outside last night in the cold without waking up. What if Paris hadn’t been there? Would she have wandered around, getting hypothermia, until she possibly stumbled by someone? Or maybe she would have made her way to the Preserve and gotten lost in there? Maybe making it all the way out to the lake?

They stopped at Paris’ place for him to grab more appropriate clothing for going out to the Preserve. While he’d been dressed casually, it wasn’t casual enough for a hike in the woods. Jade declined to get out of the car, staying in and fiddling with the radio while he ran in and changed. Bruce poked his head up once or twice, sniffing the air and then hunkered down in the back again. Jade wished she could ignore what was happening to her and leave - turn around, go back to her cozy cottage and hide from the world. She tipped her head against the glass of the car window and sighed. The problem with that idea was wherever she went, there she was.

Paris was back in the car before she could pursue her mad thought of making a break for it. Although there was an entrance to the Preserve close to her cottage, where she and Daniel would go running, Paris drove them to another entrance further out. It was the same one they’d used when Paris had taken her out to work on her circle casting, the first day that Jade had passed by the lake. They had almost gone to the lake then, but as they’d gotten closer, Jade had felt sick and scared. It was hard to explain. Today as they drove through the entry gates to the area, she got the same feeling in her gut. It wasn’t quite sickness, nor was it pain, but she didn’t like it. It made her squirm in her seat.

“Are you all right?” Paris asked. She glanced over at him. He was focused on the road as he pulled into the area, stopping the car in a makeshift parking lot.

Jade snorted at bit. “Isn’t that a loaded question? Aren’t we here because I’m not all right?”

“I don’t wish to force you into anything.”

“We drove all the way out here. It would be stupid to go back now.” She had to move before she could focus on the dishonesty in her own words. She pushed open the passenger door to let Bruce out of the back seat. He stretched his legs in turn, each one of his talons coming out and digging into the dirt. She should probably take him out here more. Maybe he needed to be walked, like a dog.

Paris moved slowly toward the trees and Jade knew he was taking his time on her account. She was reluctant to go to the lake, but she didn’t know why. What did she think would happen when she got there? Would Lily come back? Wasn’t that what she’d wanted ever since Lily left in the first place?

They started walking and Jade turned back when she noticed Bruce wasn’t by her side. He was standing next to the car.