Down & Dirty (14 page)

“Alright babe.” She said before turning back to me. “Come on, let’s go catch up. I made some changes you should know about.” She hooked my arm and led me inside.

I heard Joe cuss before going to find the rest of the guys. He’ll get over it. This is just as much his fault as mine, we both deserve the punishment. At least this way I know he’s here, alive and well, and when I get home he’ll be in my bed. I’m not going to be able to cater to him like I’m sure he would like, but he’ll live. It’s only three months, and nothing compared to the last six months of pure hell I’ve suffered.

Salina and I caught up. It took about five minutes before we were right back to where we left off. She gave me an ice pack for my jaw and poured us wine.

“The place looks great. You must have worked your ass off.”

“Nah, Slider exaggerates. I had plenty of prospects helping me, you won’t be so lucky.”

“He was pretty pissed huh?”

“Not really. It’s more about respect. Between you and me he understood and didn’t blame you for needing to leave, but you really should have said something. To leave the club the way you did shows your lack of respect and trust in your family to help you through any crisis.” She explained.

“I wasn’t looking at it like that.”

“I know, he knows. Like I said, it’s more to show the other members that no matter who you are, you don’t walk out on family. Not without paying for it. If you were a member he would have put you in the ring and had the shit beat out of you. Woman or not. But since you’re just an old lady he doesn’t need to do that.”

“Good thing. Although I would have taken it.”

“That’s okay, I already beat your ass, so we’re good.” She laughed tapping her glass to mine.

I laughed, “Ow. You got me good. It almost felt good though. I felt like I needed that, a physical punishment to go with hurt I feel inside. I didn’t mean to upset you so much by leaving.”

“Yeah well, do that shit again and I’ll really beat your ass.” She scolded.

“Poor Joe is going to go nuts with me working here all the time.” I laughed.

“He’ll get over it. I hear you got married in Vegas?”

“Yeah, it was nice. It was a tough reunion at first. He came back and found out his brother Bret had been living with me for a month.”

She almost choked. “What?”

“It wasn’t like that.” I went on to explain what happened. It felt good to talk to my best friend again.

Salina left an hour later and I opened the bar. In order to show the guys that I was sorry for leaving the way I did the drinks were on the house that night. I kept track of the cost and wrote a check to the bar so there wouldn’t be a loss.

Joe came in and out throughout the night before finally settling down with the guys at their usual tables. Slider had taken Salina home early.

By two I was more than ready to go home. Then I realized the house had been deserted for six months. Great. I guess I’ll have to do some shopping in the morning before I come back here.

Joe was back to wearing his cut, which made me kiss him solid before we got on his bike. Seeing him in his cut brought me back to the way things were supposed to be.

“How come you didn’t have this when you found me in California?” I asked him when he pulled into the garage.

“They sent it back to Slider for me after I left.”

“Oh.”

He opened the door for me and turned on lights. “I had some prospects come by and get this place cleaned up for you.”

“I love you.” The covers were off the furniture and it looked like someone had vacuumed and dusted. I went to the fridge wondering what I’d left to rot in there and almost jumped for joy. “Now I really love you.”

“I didn’t know what you wanted so I left it up to them. Did they do alright?”

“Come see.”

He looked over my shoulder. “Figures.” He reached in and grabbed a beer.

There’s a bucket of fried chicken, two cases of beer, about eight bottles of wine, salsa for the chips on the counter, a bag of apples, eggs and bacon. “It’s perfect.” I stole the bucket and chowed down. My jaw hurt, but the hunger outweighed my pain.

Joe waited until I was done and took a closer look at my face. “She nailed you.”

I laughed, “Yup. I’m glad she did, I needed that.”

“Really? You liked it?” He took my hand to lead me to the bedroom.

“More like I needed that. I knew she’d be pissed and wanted her to take it out on me with more than just words. I can take the physical pain better than the ass chewing.” I started the shower and undressed.

He shed his clothes to join me. “That’s the last time anyone hits you. She’s lucky she’s Slider’s old lady.”

I laughed, “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad to be home.”

“It’s going to be a long three months.”

“Nah. I’ll be at the clubhouse all the time at least. You can come see me whenever you want.”

“You’re going to be working long days. How am I supposed to attack you all the time if you’re working?”

I stepped under the water, “I suggest you make the most of the time we have.” I teased.

He made me squeak when he picked me up and drove into me for a good up against the wall in the shower attack. I love his intensity, especially when he’s letting go of pent up stress and worry.

When we finally found our way between the sheets to sleep he said, “In three months I want to start trying for a baby.”

“I’m too exhausted to have this conversation.” I hugged him and fell asleep with thoughts of babies in my head.

13
 

T
he next day I woke up with his beard in my neck and smiled. I missed is annoying way of waking me up. I barely made it to the clubhouse in time to open the bar. I had to put my make-up on behind the bar. No big deal.

I took my time getting back into the swing of things. Salina called around two in the afternoon to tell me she was glued to Slider’s hip and would come visit when he was done being possessive. We got a good laugh for a few minutes before I went back to work.

Lots of people came in to say hi and welcome me back. It was nice to see everybody again.

The next couple weeks took on a nice routine, even if I was stuck in the bar constantly. Joe had dinner with me every day. I couldn’t cook at the bar so he had to bring something in or have prospects go get us something. It was nice to be home again.

Right now I’m trying to figure out whether to put the NASCAR race on or a Poker tournament. I chose the race because Poker still reminds me of Bret and his betrayal.

Then I heard some kind of crazy commotion out front and went to check it out. I saw Slider and a few guys gathered around a woman and young boy about ten years old.

Since it’s still early and there’s nobody in the bar I walked over to see what’s up. The woman is crying frantically holding the boy in her arms in front of her.

“They killed him!!” She yelled at Slider. “Those bastards shot my husband. You’re supposed to protect us from this shit!”

Slider turned to Goat. “Call a meeting. It’s time to get the other chapters involved and wipe this out.”

He looked back at the crying woman. “I’m sorry Marie, this is the first time they’ve come after one of our own.”

“You should be sorry! How am I supposed to raise this kid on my own?!”

I took a closer look at the kid and got goose bumps. “Oh shit.”

Slider looked at me. “What?”

I looked at her, “He doesn’t know.”

“Excuse me? Who the fuck are you?” She spat.

“Shit.” I looked at Slider, “I need to talk to you. Privately.”

“This better be good Carly.” He warned me.

“It is.” I looked at Stacy, “Can you take them inside? Get them something to drink.”

She nodded, “Sure.”

Joe took my arm, “What’s going on?”

“I need to talk to Slider.” I pulled free and walked over to where I knew we couldn’t be heard. I took a deep breath and let it out, “That’s my son she’s got. I recognize her and him. I was fourteen when he was born. I dropped him in her arms at the mall and ran. I panicked knowing I couldn’t take care of him.”

He ran his hand over his face, “You’re proving to be a huge pain in my ass.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You sure it’s your kid?”

“Yeah. It’s a long story, but I see his father in the boy, and I remember her like it was yesterday. I look over my shoulder all the time for her in hopes of seeing what he grew up to look like.”

“Fuck. Does Joe know you have a kid?”

“No. I was hoping to bury that dirty little secret.”

“What happened?”

“You don’t really want to know.” I felt sick suddenly realizing I was going to have to tell Joe. Figures, he’d just brought up kids last night.

“You need to tell Joe, now.” He ordered.

“I know. I want to help them, him. What happened anyway?”

“Coyotes did a home invasion when she took the kid to school. They killed her old man, a member named Ben. The only reason she didn’t walk in on it was because she saw the blinds being closed when she got back and knew something was wrong. I guess she hung around long enough to see them take his body away in a truck or something. She’s been so hysterical I can’t get the whole story.”

“Oh shit.” I covered my face.

“This is my fault, not yours, but you’re going to tell Joe right now.”

I nodded, “Okay.”

“Any more surprises I should know about?” He’s mad.

“No.”

“Better not be. Put her and the kid up, it’s coming out of your wallet. I’m about to go to war.” He complained walking back.

I watched Joe walk towards me. “What the hell is going on?”

“You’re not going to like this. I need to do something first, then I’ll tell you everything.”

He grabbed my arm, “No, you’re telling me right now.”

“Remember when I said I had to do some bad shit to survive after I escaped that sick bastard when I was a kid?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, one of those things was to take the virginity of a kid about a year older than me, per his father’s request. He paid me to sleep with his son. We were each other’s firsts. I didn’t know anything about birth control at the time. I also couldn’t afford an abortion. I had the kid and dropped him in that woman’s arms at the mall when he was a week old.” I needed to sit so I took Joe’s arm and walked over to a stool just inside the garage.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” He’s too calm. That’s never good.

“I was hoping to bury this for good. I never thought I’d see him again. Except for the day you left me, I’ve never been so devastated in my life when I gave him up.”

“Keeping shit from me is the same as lying Carly. You lied to me, about something very important.” He’s looking at me, but I can’t look at him.

“I know.” I stood up. “I need to go get them a hotel room.”

“This isn’t over.” He walked away a little too easily.

I went into the clubhouse and found my purse behind the bar.

Stacy and the other two were sitting at the bar. She asked me, “What’s up Red?”

I handed her my credit card. “Go get these two a room.”

The girl seemed to be studying me. “Do I know you?”

I looked at her, “No, but you know my son.”

Her eyebrows went up in recognition. “Oh shit. It is you.” She looked at the kid and back at me. “You.”

I nodded, “Me.”

“We need to talk about this privately.”

“Let’s go get a table.” I grabbed a couple beers and led her to a table as far out of earshot as I could get.

We sat and she said, “I never told him he wasn’t mine. I don’t want to start now.”

“I understand that. I never thought I’d see him again. Is he okay?”

“He is, but won’t be once he figures out his father is dead.” She complained.

“He doesn’t know about the home invasion?”

“I don’t think he knows what I’m freaking out about. I’m going to have to tell him once we get to the hotel.”

“Do you have anyone who can help you?”

“Yeah. I’ll call my girlfriend. I want Slider to fix this. There’s no reason this should have happened.”

“I agree. I’ll pay for your hotel, stay as long as you want.”

“I can’t go back to that house.”

“Okay, we’ll talk about that later. I think you should focus on your son for now.”

“I know that. You’re really not going to try and take him from me?” She snapped at me.

“No. He’s your son. If he finds out, or you need me for medical shit, you know where to find me.”

She breathed. “Okay.”

“What’s his name?”

“Mitch.”

“Mitch. We’ll be in touch. If you need anything, please let me know.”

“I need my old man alive.” She started crying.

I hugged her. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’m so sorry.”

A few minutes later she left with Stacy to go get set up in a hotel.

Joe found me standing by the back of my car lost in thought and a little sadness at having missed out on his life.

“Well?” He leaned against the trunk next to me.

“Well what?”

“When are you getting your kid back?”

“I’m not. He belongs to her.”

“No, he’s your son. Just because you were too young to make the right choice doesn’t mean you deserve to lose him forever.”

I looked up at him, “Yeah, it does. I won’t hurt them anymore than the pain he’s about to feel at losing his father.”

“His father may not be dead Carly.” He corrected me.

“Drop it Joe. I’ve made my decision.”

“You have a bad habit of making poor choices.”

That sent my temper over the top. “Fuck you.” I went back inside and grabbed my purse and car keys to leave. Then I stopped halfway across the parking lot and realized I can’t just leave. Slider had given me my punishment. walking out on it is going to get my ass kicked for real.

I spun back around and went back inside behind the bar. I served drinks without saying a word the rest of the night. If somebody wanted something they had to come ask for it. My silence was my way of shutting off without leaving.

Joe sat at the bar all night. He knew I was ready to explode, so he sat silently, until we got home.

“I’m so mad at you I could chew on nails.” He complained.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“So am I. First you live with my brother for a month while I’m gone, and don’t give me any bullshit about not knowing, it doesn’t matter. You lived with a man you were damn close to betraying me with. Now you’ve betrayed our trust by keeping the fact that you had a child from me.”

“I don’t know what to say to you Joe.” I complained finding the bottle of whiskey and sitting on the kitchen floor.

“Don’t play victim with me, get up. Oh, and if you ever say ‘fuck you’ to me again, you’re going to regret it in a very big way.”

I lost the ability to fight with him. He has a right to be mad, even disappointed. I seem to have this ability to do everything wrong. Maybe Joe is finally figuring that out. He’ll probably divorce me. Nah. He’ll probably kill me.

“I said get up.” He barked.

“Why? What’s the point?” I took a drink from the bottle.

“You don’t ask me why, you get the fuck up.” He snatched the bottle.

I pushed up deciding to take this head on. Just like Slider’s punishment, I’ll take Joe’s. I realize now that I have to deal with this. There’s no more burying it. No more hiding from it. I’ve been through a lot in my life, this is just one more thing. If this doesn’t kill me, then there’s always tomorrow. I just hope Joe can look at me like he used to one day soon.

He stepped up to me and lifted my chin to set those hurt eyes on me. “I love you. I will always love you. Right now, I’m very mad at you. So mad I want to yell at you until you cower in the corner and cry so I know you feel the same hurt I do.”

“So yell.”

“No. I can’t yell at you because I can’t imagine how you felt seeing the son you gave away today. I know how much you missed me when I was gone, because I missed you at least as much. I’m not happy that you almost slept with what turned out to be my brother, but I’m willing to let that go because I love you. What I’m not willing to let go, is you letting that child go, again.”

“It’s not your decision.”

“You’re my wife. Everything you do is our decision now, not just yours. It’s obvious you can’t be trusted to make the right choices for yourself or anyone else. From now on everything you do goes through me. I want the kid.”

“Why? He’s not yours.”

“He’s yours. What’s yours is mine. Get your son back Carly. You know you want him.” He challenged.

“Wanting him is not the problem. I have no right to him. I all but threw him at another woman to raise. I gave up my right to want him.”

“No baby. You were a scared child who did the only thing she knew to do at the time to save her son. You’re his mother, not that lady. He has a right to know his real mother, and his real father if you can find him.”

“No.”

“Yes. Do you know who his real father is?”

I almost lied but realized that would be just another stupid decision. “Yes.”

“Who?”

“I can’t do that to him.”

“Carly, listen to me. He’s about to bury a man who he thinks is his father. He’s going to find out one day, some how, that everyone lied to him. What do you think that’s going to do to him?”

“I hate it when you’re right, but I still can’t do it. I’m sorry Joe. I’m not strong enough to rip somebodies life apart, even if it is for the best.”

He bent and scooped me up like a bride. “That’s why you married me baby. I’m your strength now. Come on, let’s get you some sleep. We’ll figure this out tomorrow.”

“I thought you hated me.”

“I could never hate you. I can be mad at you, but I’ll always love you.” He dropped me on the bed so I bounced a little.

“Hey! That’s not nice.”

He crawled over me pinning me under him. “I’ll show you not nice.” He tickled me until my mood shifted, then he made love to me making sure I knew we were okay. I have to admit he surprised me with his reaction to what happened. The anxiety was gone now that I know he wanted to be my strength, and didn’t hate me. I couldn’t ask for a better man to stand by me, even if he’s a difficult man sometimes.