Dragon: Allie's War Book Nine (75 page)

Revik turned. He caught her watching him again, curiosity in her eyes now. Still looking him over, she grinned at him.

It wasn’t a coy grin that time, but a real one.

“Gaos.
You really want to know who it is.” When Revik averted his gaze, she laughed aloud. “Jesus. You are
dying
to know, aren’t you? You would give your left hand to know.” That humor reached her voice. “Poor Revi’. What are you going to do? Go after him? Castrate him, brother? When you’ve fucked half of the unwillings in the City?”

He clicked at her, exuding impatience.

Even so, he felt some part of his light flinch from her words.

Was that what this was? Revenge?

Was Allie doing this to get back at him?

It hadn’t felt like that. It hadn’t felt like that at all.

Sickness wound back through his light. It hit him hard in the chest, before he could push the memory back at all. He fought it, blanking his mind and light, killing every shred of feeling before those impressions could gather back behind his eyes.

He lost track of the other seer in that.

When he finally got himself under control, he took a breath. He looked back at Raven once he had, but she shook her head at him, clicking as she seemed to be thinking, still watching his face. That time, a near-anger touched her words.

“Gods above…what fucking
hypocrites
men are. Here you are, acting wounded…I hope he’s got his mouth on her cunt right now. It would serve you right if he was about four hundred years old…with extensive training in the arts, brother.”

Revik felt his jaw harden.

“Are you finished?” he said.

She wasn’t finished though.

“What did you expect?” Contempt filled her voice. “How many times did you think you could leave her before she was finished with you? She is the
Bridge,
brother. She could have anyone she wanted…” Watching him frown, she let out another laugh, genuine enjoyment in her eyes. “Gods. I really do hope he’s good. I hope he fucks her until she passes out, Revi’. I hope she can’t make coherent words for an hour after––”

Fighting to control that harder pain that wanted to twist back on his light, Revik shook his head, making his voice cold. “I find it interesting you’re such a champion of my wife’s rights all of a sudden…” he said, staring back out the window. “I seem to remember you having less of a ‘sisterly’ perspective on our marriage in the past…”

She laughed at him though, her voice marveling.

“Gods. This is driving you crazy. It really is…”

“Are you here for any real reason, Elan?” he said.

“You’ve felt them together, haven’t you?” she said, still studying his light. “She is enjoying him, isn’t she? From the look on your face right now, she’s enjoying him a lot…”

“I don’t have time for this shit.” Not caring how it looked anymore, he pushed past her, walking towards the only doorway into the high-ceilinged room. “Contact me when you intend to accomplish something productive,” he added coldly, not looking back.

She followed him though, still watching his light.

“Gods.” Raven laughed again. “Are you watching them fuck every night? That’s almost hot, brother. Twisted…but hot.”

Revik closed his light, lengthening his strides.

He struggled as he walked, still fighting the memories. He could feel it now, in the construct. He knew now that they wanted him to remember. He could feel that pulling and coaxing of his light, tempting him to look, to keep looking…to feel it. They wanted him to see it, to experience it again and again and again. They wanted him to draw the obvious conclusions. Menlim. Raven. Fuck knew who else. He could feel Raven pulling on him even now, trying to figure out what he knew, what he’d seen and felt in his view of Allie with that other male.

He felt the construct messing with him, trying to get him to lose control, to react past where he could think, past where he could pull his light back.

He’d known this would hurt.

Of course he’d known.

He’d known he would be jealous. He’d known, braced for it…but nothing could have prepared him for feeling his wife’s confusion about who she was with, her frightened realization that she wanted someone else. Her guilt. Her fucking
guilt
towards him.

Her light had been open…so fucking open. She’d been really turned on.

He’d felt the vulnerability there. Whoever he was, he got to her…he got to her in a way that Revik couldn’t wrap his mind around, that threatened him more than he could even think about.

Pain writhed through him at the memory, slanting out his vision.

Gaos
…she’d been
making love
to the son of a bitch. She hadn’t just been fucking him. She’d been making love to him…letting him make love to her.

She couldn’t be faking that, could she?

He’d felt the desire there, the intensity behind the sex…her wanting. She’d been half out of her mind with it, fighting it and him…there’d been aggression there, anger, fear...other, softer emotions, things that made her feel worse. She’d wanted him badly enough that it scared her, that she felt like shit about it…

How could she be faking that?

Revik had tried to see more…who he was, what they were doing. Some part of him needed to see it. Whatever he saw, he figured it could never be as bad as what his mind invented. Something like that probably should have made him feel guilty, dirty, invasive, but instead he only felt frustrated that he’d been thwarted. He felt betrayed that she’d locked him out, that she wouldn’t include him. It hurt his goddamned feelings.

She’d protected him. Not Revik…him. The other guy.

She’d fucking
protected
the bastard…from Revik himself.

He’d asked her, point blank, who the guy was. She wouldn’t tell him. She’d forced him out of her light, that guilt seething off her like a bad smell.

His mind fought with the tastes he’d gotten, trying to feel past her shield.

He tried not to think about who it was, but his mind obsessed on that, too.

Balidor? It wasn’t Balidor was it? He’d almost gotten a flavor of Adhipan, something that felt familiar, known to him…but he couldn’t pin that down either. She’d said her bodyguard was off the table, that he wouldn’t work for some reason…so it had to be someone else. He’d asked her to stay away from Balidor…she’d fucking
promised
him she would stay away from Balidor, that she wouldn’t sleep with the Adhipan leader again.

Would she have broken that vow to him, too?

He was losing her. He was fucking losing his wife. He could feel it.

Who the
fuck
was she with? Who could have made her light react like that?

Revik forced the memory out of the front of his mind even as he clenched his jaw harder, hard enough to hurt his teeth. He had to get out of here.

He had to get the fuck out of here.

Raven continued to follow him, that amusement lilting her words.

“Do you really want my help in finding a name, brother?” she said, smiling. “I could ask around. Find out who’s monitoring the channels there. Ask me, Revi’. Ask me to find out who’s fucking your wife…”

He clenched his jaw, not answering her.

“I’m sure we can negotiate…something…”

Feeling the pull of her light, he turned before he could stop himself. When he looked into her eyes, she smiled again, right before her gaze slid down to his crotch.

He came to a dead stop.

Igniting the telekinesis, he slammed out at her, before he could pull it back. He hit her, hard, right in the middle of her body. Watched her fly backwards, he barely took a breath before her back slammed into the hardwood wall decorated with small carvings, easily ten feet from where he stood. He saw her eyes widen in fear, her face pale to the color of chalk.

“Revi’!” she said, gasping, barely able to fight out words. Her voice grew openly afraid. “Revi’…don’t.” She fought for breath, fear bleeding out of her light. He saw blood trickle down from her hairline, her face contort in panic as she held up a hand. “Revi’, Maygar…
Maygar!
He loves me…I love him…please! Please, brother! Father of my son…please!”

Struggling against his own light, he stood there, fighting to breathe.

He couldn’t fucking breathe.

It felt like a long number of minutes went by.

More than he could count.

Then he turned on his heel, walking out of the room.

That time, he didn’t look back.

His mind blanked. Lost for however long he lay there after he rolled off her, after he rested on his back, watching the ceiling spin behind his eyes. He was drunk. He knew he was drunk. He barely remembered how he’d gotten here, much less any of the preamble before he took off her clothes…before she undressed him.

He’d tried to open his light.

He’d tried…but that time, he hadn’t been able to. He couldn’t fucking do it. No matter what he told himself…no matter how closely he knew he was being watched, especially now. He couldn’t make himself want to, no matter whose face he pictured behind his eyes. No matter what he told himself about why.

He lay there now, in so much pain he couldn’t see.

He didn’t think he’d had an orgasm either, but he might have. He couldn’t remember coming, but he supposed it didn’t matter, either way.

His vision blurred as he stared up at the ceiling.

For the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt that longing to die he remembered from when he was a kid. He had to fight it back, like he had then, to ignore it, when that didn’t work. Pain suffocated him as the thought grew real, as his chest clenched more, trying to crush him from the inside out. He fought Lily out of his light…Allie…

Somewhere in that, he felt the unwilling near him again. He didn’t look up. He couldn’t see, didn’t know where he was anymore.

“Revi’…” she said, her voice soft, coaxing.

Like with an animal. Like someone would talk to an animal.

“Revi’…” She caressed his hands, his chest, his arms, feeding him light. “Revi’…calm down, brother. It’s all right. Calm, brother…calm…” Her voice grew softer, more soothing. She moved closer to him, lying less than a foot away, feeding him warmer light. Her fingers touched his face. “I’m sorry, brother,” she murmured. “I am sorry, Illustrious Sword…I should be helping you more with this…it is my fault…”

He let out a strangled laugh.

Jerking from her touch, he felt her flinch back.

He didn’t look at her.

He didn’t look at anything.

“Don’t you want to pretend I’m her, lover?” she said softly, rubbing his arm more cautiously that time, massaging the muscle with her fingers. “We can do it like we did the other night. You can use her name, brother…I don’t mind. You can do it whenever you want…really, truly, brother, I don’t mind. It’s beautiful, how much you love her…”

He shook his head, even as his chest tightened more.

She continued to massage his body with her hands, and Revik closed his eyes, fighting to relax, to pull himself out of that dark…to ignore it, at least.

As if she sensed him trying, her voice grew lighter, almost cheerful.

“Did you hear the rumors, brother?” she said.