Dragon Land (17 page)

Mum still hadn’t said a word, but I quickly removed her wet stockings and shoes while Maisie made tea. Suddenly there was a roar of pain and Mum began to cry. It wasn’t a gentle cry but harsh sobs that seemed to come from deep in her soul. Maisie tried to comfort her, but she would have none of it.

‘Granny died at five thirty this evening, Maisie.’ I didn’t add that at that time I had experienced the awful feeling of anxiety and agitation. ‘We never got the chance to say goodbye to her.’

Maisie said, ‘I think we should get Beth to her bed.’

I agreed and we tried to get her to go to sleep, but the awful crying wouldn’t stop. I painfully remembered a similar time when Mum cried like this, when I was six and Dad was posted as missing. Maisie said we would have to call the doctor out tomorrow if Mum was still distressed, and I agreed.

‘I’ll sit up tonight with her, Maisie, and hopefully she’ll fall asleep with exhaustion.’

Maisie left, but she put her hand on my shoulder. ‘We’ll all miss your granny, Lizzie. She’s been my neighbour and friend for years but I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to her either.’

I felt my chest constrict with emotion, but I didn’t want to cry in front of her. She wasn’t the only one who hadn’t said goodbye, as Mum or I hadn’t either, and I was furious with myself for not waking Granny up this morning. Perhaps if I had I would have noticed she was ill, and if I had then maybe she would still be alive.

Mum finally fell asleep around midnight, but as I lay down on my bed I couldn’t sleep. Then at three o’clock in the morning Mum awoke and told me to send a telegram to Margaret before another bout of tears made her body shake as if she was in the throes of a fever. She got back to sleep before dawn, and mercifully I fell asleep as well.

We didn’t get up till after nine the next morning, and Mum sat in the chair looking as white as a sheet and rocking gently to and fro. I tried to get her to eat some toast, but she ignored me. Maisie appeared, and I said I was going to get the doctor and also send a telegram to my aunt.

Thankfully the post office was empty of customers as I handed over the telegram. The man behind the counter gave me a sympathetic look, but I knew I couldn’t have handled any questions if I ran into Granny’s neighbours and friends.

I phoned the doctor’s house from the telephone box down the street, and he said he would come round as soon as possible. When I got home, Mum had burst into another flood of tears and Maisie was trying to comfort her.

I sat beside Mum and said, ‘I’ve sent the telegram to Margaret and the doctor will be coming in soon to help you.’

She clutched my arm. ‘Did you tell Margaret to come quickly?’

I nodded, although I hadn’t actually said as much.

The doctor arrived mid-morning, and when he saw the state of Mum’s grief he prescribed a sedative. ‘This will help to sedate Mrs Flint and it will also make her sleep better.’

Laura and Pat turned up that evening, but they didn’t stay long. ‘We just want to say how sorry we are, Lizzie.’

The next morning, Mum was still asleep when Margaret’s reply to my telegram arrived. It said simply that she was on her way and would soon be with us.

I sat at the window and gazed down on a wet and windy street. A few people with umbrellas were out and about. As I sipped my tea with the telegram on my lap, and with a numb feeling of helplessness and grief, I silently said a prayer of thanks.

Two days later, Margaret arrived at seven o’clock in the morning. She had travelled from Lisbon to London, where she caught the overnight sleeper, but when she appeared at the door on that dark autumn morning she looked as if she had only travelled a short distance instead of the many hundreds of miles from Portugal.

I was so grateful to see her. As she took off her coat and placed her suitcase in the lobby, she asked how Mum was coping with the shock of Granny’s death. As it was I had been up most of the night with her, but she had finally fallen asleep at five o’clock.

Margaret said not to wake her up, and she sat at the fire while I cooked bacon and eggs, as I expected she would be hungry after her long journey. After breakfast, which she enjoyed, she asked about the arrangements for Granny’s burial.

‘I’ve been in touch with the funeral director’s business on the Hilltown, but I haven’t manage to do much more, Margaret.’

She said she would get in touch with the authorities, and I was relieved to have that burden lifted from my shoulders.

Mum must have heard our voices because she suddenly called out, ‘Margaret, is that you?’

Margaret went through to the bedroom and Mum began to cry again, but Margaret’s soothing words seemed to help, and within minutes they both appeared. Mum’s hair was dishevelled and she was wearing her dressing gown, and her red-rimmed eyes were a sharp contrast to her ashen complexion.

‘Would you like some bacon and eggs, Mum?’ I asked.

She gazed at me with a glazed expression and shivered. It was as if I had offered her some boiled octopus, so I just made her a cup of hot sweet tea, which she didn’t drink.

Margaret took charge immediately. ‘Now, Lizzie, I think you should go back to the college today, and they will give you the day off for the funeral.’

I opened my mouth to protest, but she said, ‘I remember when I was at the college and they didn’t like any absences. Don’t worry, I’ll be here to look after Beth.’

So that was arranged, and to be honest I was grateful to get out of the house and leave everything in Margaret’s capable hands.

As I walked along the wet pavement to the college, I was feeling depressed. All my plans to go and see the world were now in tatters, as I realised I could never leave Mum because I feared she wouldn’t be able to cope on her own. I would get a job in a school in Dundee and that would be my life. Then I felt guilty at having these thoughts. After all, she was my mother and it was my duty to look after her.

When I appeared at Park Place, the first person I met was Pat. She looked surprised to see me.

‘Should you be here, Lizzie? What about your mum?’

‘My aunt has arrived from Portugal and she said she would take over everything and look after Mum.’

‘Well, I’m glad to see you and I felt really sorry for you both that night Laura and I came to see you after your granny’s death. Your poor mother was so distressed and we felt so helpless.’

‘Yes, I know. I feel like that as well, so that’s why I’m so grateful Margaret is here, as she copes so well with anything.’

Laura then appeared and the three of us went into our classes. Before I left that afternoon, I went to see my tutor to arrange time off for the funeral, and with everything settled I set off for home.

Mum was sitting in the chair wearing a clean dress, and her hair was newly washed and combed. She looked so much better now that Margaret was here. I couldn’t help but marvel at the change in her, and I wished that my aunt could stay with us forever and not have to go back to Portugal.

Margaret explained that they had been busy that day. ‘We went to see the funeral director and the funeral will be the day after tomorrow. We also went to see the solicitor, and Mary’s will states that she wants to be buried beside her late husband at Balgay Cemetery. The minister from the church came here this afternoon and everything is settled.’

I looked across at Mum and she seemed to be so relaxed. It was such a contrast to her earlier state of mind. It was when Margaret and I were taking the cottage pie out of the oven that she whispered, ‘I called the doctor in again and he’s given Beth some sleeping pills to help her until after the funeral.’

As she scooped the pie onto the plates I noticed the fine lines on her face and that she looked tired. ‘Margaret, please don’t do too much, because you look tired.’

She laughed. ‘It’s just the journey catching up with me. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.’

After tea, Margaret and Mum discussed some things about the funeral service. Mum and I had arranged for Margaret to live with us instead of booking into a hotel, and she seemed pleased about that arrangement. As I didn’t want to sleep in Granny’s room, I said I would sleep on the sofa. Margaret said that Maisie had offered me a spare bed in her house, but I said I was happy with the sofa. For the first night since Granny’s death, Mum slept right through the night, but I was too restless to sleep, although I did doze off in the early morning.

The funeral was to take place at eleven o’clock, and it turned out to be a misty day. The church was packed with Granny’s friends and fellow parishioners, and it was with a feeling of unreality that I followed Mum, Margaret and Maisie to the front pew.

Thankfully Mum was calm, but she looked so fragile in her black coat and hat that I had to hold back my tears.

The minister gave a wonderful eulogy about Granny, saying what stalwart members she and her late husband had been and how she had knitted hundreds of items for the soldiers in the trenches and latterly for needy families. He mentioned the tragedy in her life, with the loss of her husband and son. Especially her son Peter, he said, who had died like thousands of other soldiers in the war. His condolences went out to his young widow and daughter and all the family. I noticed Margaret was holding Mum’s hand, while Maisie cried quietly into her handkerchief. The hymns were the 23rd Psalm and ‘Abide With Me’, and it was at this point I almost burst into tears. I was trying to hold my grief in, as I knew I would upset Mum and I didn’t want her to break down.

I vaguely remember people coming up and speaking to us afterwards, but everything still felt unreal. It was to be a private burial at Balgay, so the car took the three of us, plus the minister, to the cemetery. Margaret had arranged refreshments back at the house for anyone who wanted to come, and Maisie had volunteered to be there until we returned.

The mist shrouded the gravestones, giving them a ghostly appearance, but the service at the cemetery was brief, with the minister saying a final prayer. I watched as Granny’s coffin was lowered into its narrow slot. I had never been so sad as this in my life, but as we turned to leave the many wreathes were placed on the spot, and because they were mainly arrangements of chrysanthemums in shades of gold, russet and yellow, the grave seemed to glow with colour and light. I knew the sharp tang of their perfume would remain with me for the rest of my life.

Back at the house, Maisie was busy handing round sandwiches and tea to Milly and Albert and Andy Baxter. I then noticed Wullie and Irene sitting on the sofa with Davie and Pat Hogan.

Andy, Wullie and Davie were dressed in their dark-coloured suits and white shirts with starched collars. There was a faint smell of mothballs, and I knew the men had put on their best clothes for the funeral, which filled me with emotion. These were men who were more at home working with wood and farming, but they now sat in awkward silence as their wives quietly spoke to each other. It made me feel humble that they had come to say farewell to Granny, a woman they had never met.

I went to sit beside them while Mum went to sit with Milly, Albert and Andy. It was easy to see that Albert worked in the clothing trade because his suit of dark-coloured worsted looked fashionable.

‘Thank you so much for coming,’ I said. ‘We really appreciate it.’

Wullie said, ‘We wanted to come, Lizzie. Laura and Pat didn’t want to ask for time off from the college, but they’ll be round tonight.’

Pat expressed the same sentiments, as she looked at Davie. ‘You’ve been so good to our Pat, and she always said she loved coming here to see you all, especially your granny.’

Davie’s calloused, weather-beaten hand was holding one of Granny’s china cups and saucers, but he placed it onto the little table beside the sofa as Margaret came over and I introduced her.

‘This is my aunt Margaret, she’s travelled from Lisbon to be with us.’

I left them to go and speak with Milly. She had been crying, but apart from that she looked well. I gave her a hug and she started crying again. ‘I hope Beth will be fine, Lizzie. You know how sensitive she is, and I do worry about her.’

‘Yes, I know, Milly, but Margaret and I will keep an eye on her.’

She grasped my hand. ‘I know you will, and she’s a lucky woman to have such a caring daughter.’ She hesitated and glanced over her shoulder. ‘Can I tell you a secret, Lizzie?’

My mind was still numb, but I nodded.

She was smiling. ‘I’m expecting a baby next year, but I don’t want to mention it to Beth just yet, but can you tell her from me?’

‘That’s great, Milly. What does Albert think about your news?’

‘He’s thrilled, and so is my father-in-law. They both hope it will be a boy and I would like a girl, but it honestly doesn’t matter as we’ll have our own first child.’

Andy was sitting with Mum and she was trying to make conversation, but I saw from her face that the sedative was wearing off, so I went over. Before I reached them, Margaret came and said that Pat’s and Laura’s parents were leaving, so I turned around to say goodbye and thank them once more for their support.

Davie said, ‘Your aunt very kindly offered to get us a taxi to take us to the station, but it will only take us a wee while to catch the tramcar.’

Pat and Irene took my hand as they went through the door. ‘Now remember, Lizzie, we’re here for you and your mum any time you need us.’

‘Thank you.’

I watched from the window as they emerged onto the street, but the mist had thickened and they were just a blur as they got on the tramcar.

Andy was also standing up to go and I went to have a word with him. I thought he looked well; he had a black leather glove over his missing hand.

‘How are you keeping, Andy?’ I asked.

‘Things are looking up for me, Lizzie. I’ve got a job at Lord Robert’s workshop in Meadowside. He set it up to give work to people disabled in the war, and I’ve been lucky to get a place there.’

I was so pleased for him and I said so.

‘It means that my mother has some extra income coming into the house now, and I’ve also got a girlfriend. At the moment we’re just friends who go to the pictures together, but I’m hoping it will become a more serious relationship between us.’