DRAWN (3 page)

Everything inside me screams for Rodrick’s Rule:
deny, deny, deny.

Instead I hear myself saying, “A while.” I suck at lying. It’s a bad good habit my dad has cursed me with.

          Yuki takes a right turn out of the school zone, driving past the Christmas charity bazaar organized by nuns from our school. When his car rejoins the main road, he glances at me, a tiny smug smile playing on his lips. “I’m flattered you like me that much,
senpai
.”

          I lift my chin. “Don’t be. I just like
hot
guys in general. Before you, I was thinking of doing it with Robert Stark.” The words fly out of my mouth before my mind can properly filter them.

Robert is mild, meek, and pretty much average in everything except for his fantastic gray eyes, which are hidden behind his nerdy glasses. In my fantasies, Robert reveals his Alpha side in the bedroom, and he’d make me wear all sorts of kinky costumes just because he wants to dictate my every move.

          Yuki’s jaw drops.

          I almost smile.

          “And before Robert Stark, I was thinking of Jeremy Dalton.” Jeremy is one of Lace’s boys, tall, dark-haired, and with a Ph.D. in flirting since he was in middle school. In my fantasies, he’d be friendly with all the girls except with me because in my presence, he’s unable to control his body’s reaction.

          I have no idea why I’m telling Yuki all this, but I just can’t seem to stop.

“Before Jeremy, it was Gabriel---”

“I get it,” Yuki interrupts, throwing me an irritable look as he does. “You’re a nympho.”

          “I’m not!” That’s a totally inappropriate thing to say – even if it’s a reasonable guess.

          He looks at me doubtfully.

          “I tell you, I’m not!”

          He still doesn’t say anything.

          “I never even had sex!”

          Yuki snorts. “Yeah, sure.”

His grip on the wheel distracts me as it tightens just a fraction while he makes another turn. His fingers are long and elegant, as if they’ve been crafted by God to make a girl’s skin sing.

          I look up at him quickly when I realize my mind’s drifted off again to sexual la-la land.

          Yuki is grinning.

          I have a very strong urge to drop my head and bang it against the dashboard.

          “You are as much a virgin as I am,
senpai
.” Yuki laughs. “Come on, it’s not bad that you just admit you have the hots for me.”

          “But I really am,” I say in a small voice, suddenly feeling embarrassed about the fact. Blast it. I really should have just found someone I could have sex with. I’ve always had a nasty feeling the unwanted state of my virginity is going to bite me in the arse one day.

          Something in my voice must have gotten to him because Yuki has a puzzled frown on his face when he asks me, “Why?”

          I shrug.

          “You can tell me, I promise I won’t say anything,” he coaxes.

          “Like I can be sure of that,” I mutter.

          “True,” he answers cheerfully. “But if you keep me in a good mood, then you’ve slightly better chances of hoping I’ll take pity on you and won’t tell a soul about what happened.”

          I shake my head defiantly. I know it’s suicidal, but I just feel wrong about being blackmailed.

          “You’re really not going to tell?”

          “Why does it matter anyway?” I burst out.

          I don’t expect him to answer, but he does. “I guess it’s because…I want you as my toy and I don’t like sharing?”

          That literally gets me choking. “Are you for real?” A
toy?
He wants me as his bloody toy? I’m totally
not
turned on by the idea. I’m not.

          The traffic lights turn red, and he’s suddenly leaning toward me, forcing me to lean back until my back hits the door. He’s so near I can smell his cologne, teasing my nostrils and making me want to throw my arms around him and feel – just once – how it would be to have a guy’s body touching mine.

          Especially
this
guy’s body.

          I gulp.

          Yuki’s eyes gleam. “Oh, I think you’ll like being my toy.” He starts playing with a lock of my hair, and I bite my lip because I have this insane urge to beg him to play with other parts of my body.

“So, tell me. Are you really a virgin?”

          Those baby blues are killing me.

          I nod.

          “Did you really imagine having sex with me,
senpai
?”

          Squeezing my eyes shut in utter embarrassment, I mumble a ‘yes’, my honesty still getting the better of me.          

Yuki’s smirk is an irritating, tangible force I just want to blast off this planet. I can’t stand it when he’s acting smug. “Don’t take it personally,” I snarl. “I think of having sex with other guys, too.”

          “So why don’t you do it?” he retorts.

          “Because I
can’t
.”

          He snorts. “Saving it for your marriage?” When I don’t answer, he makes a half-gasping, half-laughing sound. “You’re not messing with me, are you?”

          “My dad’s a theology professor.”

          “So?”

          “I just can’t.” No one outside my family is likely to understand how persuasive my dad can be. He’s so sweet and nice he can make you feel guilty when you’ve consumed 10 extra calories more than your required daily caloric intake.

          When my permanently squeaky-clean-image makes me feel weirder than most, I comfort myself with the thought that I’m still fairly lucky my dad’s into theology and not nutrition. A chaste life I can bear, but a steak-less, burger-challenged, meat-deprived existence I’m sure to die from.

          Yuki is looking at me like I’ve grown two horns since we last saw each other.

          That’s you, not me, I want to tell him.

          Yuki begins, “Jenny Wither is Pastor Rock’s daughter, and everyone knows she’s been doing it since she turned---”

          “I just can’t, okay?” I shrug helplessly. “I know it’s lame, and I know you won’t understand, but I just can’t.” Finding out I’ve shagged someone before marriage will break Jason’s heart, and that I simply won’t do.

          The lights turn green and I breathe a sigh of relief when Yuki pulls away and starts driving again. I need to get a hold of myself or I’m in danger of overdosing on too much closeness with Yuki Himura.

          “So you make do with fantasies about me having sex with you, is that it?”

          Will somebody please just kill me?

          But still I hear myself answering, “Yes.”

          “Was I good,
senpai
?” His teasing tone makes me blush but tempts me to smile at the same time.

          “No comment.” I work hard at keeping my tone neutral.

I feel like I’m going crazy. Or maybe I’m in shock, and that’s why I’m taking all this so calmly.

I’m in a car with Yuki Himura.

He knows I’ve been fantasizing about us having sex.

And he thinks of me as his toy.

Yeah, I think I’m in shock. Maybe sometime tonight the shock will wear off and that’s when I’ll start freaking out and wonder how I’m going to convince my parents to let me transfer to another school.

“We’re here,” Yuki announces.

One glance at our surroundings is enough to make me freak out in my seat. “Are we at your
house
?”

“Yup,” Yuki says as he kills the engine.

“Why the bloody hell are we at your house?”

He raises an eyebrow at me and answers in a voice that purrs just like his sports car. “To have sex, of course.”

“We are not having sex!” We can’t. I want to – I mean, I’ve dreamt of doing it but I can’t. I can’t! I mustn’t!

          Yuki surprises me when he chuckles. “No, we’re not,” he agrees before suddenly grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips. “I just like teasing you.”

I yelp, more out of surprised pleasure than pain when he bites my middle finger. I try to pull my hand away but he doesn’t let go.

“But…are you really sure I can’t persuade you to change your mind,
senpai
?”

“Sure.” I mean it, really, even if I don’t sound like it.

He gazes at me knowingly. “Are. You. Really. Sure?” He emphasizes each word by nipping my fingers one at a time.

“
Piss off
.” I want to sound cool and controlled, but I end up gasping the words out. It’s hard not to when you have a gorgeous guy nibbling your fingers. It makes me want to jump on him like a sex-starved idiot and just…do it.

          I close my eyes in utter despair.

          Dad, what did you do in your past life that you had to be punished with a daughter like me?

          Yuki finally releases my hand. “Come on,
senpai,
I want you to see my home.”

By the time I recover, he’s already opening my door. “Yuki,” I begin warily.

“Relax,” he murmurs. “I’m not going to have sex with you, I promise.” A wicked grin briefly appears on his lips. “And that kills you, doesn’t it?”

I want to say ‘fuck off’. I want to flip him the middle finger. But years of strict Christian upbringing are hard to ignore.

“Piss off,” I say again instead.

He blinks. “This is going to sound weird, but…do you turn Brit when you’re mad?”

          “Piss off.”

We get into a tug-of-war, one that Yuki easily wins, and I’m out of the car in a flash.

“Say ‘fuck’ and I’ll let you go right this minute.”

“F…f...piss off!”

Yuki doubles over. “You do!” He looks at me with tears in his eyes. “When we have fantasy sex, do I get to have a British accent, too?”

I roll my eyes. “Of course not.” Then I scowl when I realize what he’s made me say.

He laughs. “You’re the most fascinating person I’ve ever met,
senpai.
You really are.”

“Arsehole,” I mutter, but it only makes him laugh harder.

Yuki presses the button to lock his car while still gripping my wrist with the other. His thumb is drawing circles again and it’s making me restless.

Blast it. I need a distraction. I stare at Yuki’s house, a beautiful three-story home with classic elements of Zen architecture. The exterior is a beautiful mixture of black walls, glass, and steel detail. The front door is the most eye-catching part. If I’m not mistaken, it’s from a life-sized walk-in security deposit box transplanted and reinstalled here.

“It’s like you have the equivalent of the crown jewels hidden inside your house.” I’m hoping indulging in small talk will help calm my heart and ensure that it’s my mind controlling my body and not the other way around.

“Oh, we do,” he answers easily.

“Really?”

Yuki turns his head sideways so he can give me another one of his innocent smiles. “Me.”

Oh, for the love of…

That should not have come out as cute but it does!

The security pad makes a beep and Yuki gives the heavy knob a twirl to the right. The door slowly and silently swings open.

“Welcome to the Himuras’ home,
senpai,
” he says with a little bow.

I frown as hard I can because seeing Yuki bow like a real-life
bishounen
– that’s literally “pretty boy” in
manga
speak - is making my body go weird on me.

Bishounen
are essentially nice guys, I remind myself strictly, and Yuki is
not
.

I mustn’t let my lust get the better of me, blast it.

“Feel free to look around,
senpai
.”

The rest of Yuki’s house is just as modern and lovely as its exterior, maintaining the emphasis on Zen décor. The living room opens to the kitchen and patio. At the corner is a unique, curve-less staircase with black carpeted steps.

“Your house is beautiful,” I say sincerely.

“Thanks.” He answers like he’s heard it all the time and I suppose he has but still. I’d be ecstatic to have this kind of home to go back to each day.

“What do you want to drink?” he asks.

It feels so surreal to hear Yuki Himura asking me something so simple that I have a difficult time matching his tone. “Instant coffee’s fine.”

He stops midway to the kitchen, gaping at me. “Really?”

“Everyone in my family drinks coffee,” I answer self-consciously.

He shakes his head, muttering, “Weird.”

“I heard that.”