DRAWN (4 page)

He smiles shamelessly. “I know. But don’t worry,
senpai
, I still think you’re fascinating. Weird also but still fascinating.”

I don’t say anything. Weird or not, he still thinks I’m fascinating, which is kind of cool. So I’m not going to argue with it. Gods know better, right?

The Himuras have an authentic but modern Japanese-styled living room, with a low black table set in the middle of a geometric-patterned rug and surrounded by white velvet throw pillows. I decide to take my shoes off before sitting down. Across me is a huge wall-mounted TV. There are several other pieces of impressive looking equipment below it and a couple of wireless microphones. There’s even a microphone stand at the side. For the life of me, I can’t picture Yuki doing karaoke.

The lack of Christmas décor in Yuki’s home doesn’t surprise me. Christmas is sort of like Valentine’s Day for Japs. You go out on special dates for it – for Japs that means going to a
love hotel
– but it’s not something you have to hang cute pink hearts on your windows like Christmas stockings.

Further tangible proof of Yuki’s godly existence spans the entire wall of one side of the living room. Apparently, he’s been racking up all sorts of victories since kindergarten. There are sports medals and science fair trophies, Japanese awards and framed English recognition certificates.

If I’m fascinating, he’s amazing, a god trapped in an unbelievably sexy, rock-hard---

These adjectives will be the death of me one day.

Yuki comes back to the living room, and I’m surprised to see him with two cups of steaming coffee.

“Are you sure you’re going to drink coffee, too? I mean, have you even drunk coffee that’s not from Starbucks?”

Yuki glares at me. “Just drink.” He settles down next to me and hands me my cup.

His nearness makes me feel restless again and I hastily take a sip of my coffee, using it for much-needed distraction.

In the corner of my eye, I see Yuki taking a sip, too, and sputtering right after, spewing coffee on the table.

I smile against my cup. Now he knows Japanese tea isn’t like good old plain instant coffee.

“What the hell?” He stares at me incredulously. “You really like the taste of this?”

“You can put more sugar and cream in yours if it tastes too bitter,” I suggest with my best wide-eyed innocent stare.

He gazes at his cup in distrust. “I don’t think anything can make this taste good.”

“Oh, well. I guess only real men drink coffee.”

“If you think that’s going to convince me to drink this, think again.” He places the cup back on the center table, still eyeing it with dislike. “You really like it?” he asks again.

I smile sweetly. “I hope you find this side of me fascinating, too.” One part of me is incredulous at how comfortable I am bantering with a guy like Yuki Himura, under the circumstances. The other part of me is doing somersaults. This is the
closest
I’ve gotten to experiencing even the smallest part of my fantasies come to life.

Yuki’s head cocks to the side as he asks, “Did you really fantasize about those other guys, too?”

The question startles then worries me.

“
Senpai
?”

I nod and wait for him to show some sign of getting turned off. After all, no normal high school girl fantasizes about different guys.

His baby blue eyes gleam even more brightly. “I find it incredibly hot,
senpai
.”

And I find you hot
, I think, in a daze at his words. My restlessness has suddenly reached its peak and it’s all I can do not to grab him by the lapels and haul him toward me.

“It challenges me, you see. I want to make you forget all the other guys you’ve fantasized about,
senpai
.”

Oh, he can make me forget my name if he wants to.

Without taking his gaze away, he slowly removes the cup of coffee from my hands and sets it on the table. His fingers caress an upward trail on my skin until his hands are cupping my face entirely.

I do my best not to tremble because I don’t want to let him know just how close I am to throwing myself at him.

“Are you in love with me,
senpai
?”

I’m torn. If I say ‘no’, does that mean he won’t kiss me? Because that is what this is leading to, isn’t it?

“
Senpai
?”

Honesty, you better be the best policy like everyone says you are. I take a deep breath and say, “NO.”

A smile softens Yuki’s lips.

It
is
the best policy still!

“Good.” He’s practically purring in satisfaction, and the sound of it makes my toes curl. It takes everything in me to keep my hands still on my sides.

“Why,” I croak out, “is it good?”

“Because I want to make a deal with you.”

“What kind of deal?” My heart is beating loud, hard, and fast. It’s telling me I’m probably going to like this kind of deal.

“What I asked you before. Will you be my toy,
senpai
?” One of his hands drops to my neck, caressing the sensitive skin of my nape.

I can’t help it.

I shiver.

“I don’t even know what t-that means.”

His voice lowers a notch when he answers. “Oh, you know. Like a sexual plaything.”

Incredibly, the words turn me on even more.

“What do you think,
senpai
?”

I shake my head.

“You’re saying no then?”

Yeeargh!

Why does it seem like he knows me so well? I can’t make myself say no because I don’t want to say no.

Desperate for excuses, I blurt out, “I…I can’t have sex.” There. That should do it. That’s the only line I know I won’t ever cross.

“Who says we have to? We can still have fun.”

The way he says the last word makes me want to groan. It’s too…suggestive, and my body is dying to betray me.

My conscience warns me this isn’t right, but the sinful and excited part of me rationalizes that it isn’t wrong either. We’re not going to have sex. And – as far as I know – both of us aren’t committed to anyone. No one’s going to be hurt if we, umm, play. Right?

          “We’ll keep it a secret, just between the two of us.”

          Does he know how tempting he is right now?

          One of his fingers traces the outer curves of my ear, and his eyes gleam even more brightly when he sees me shiver again in response.

          Yeah, I’m pretty sure he does.

          I frantically cling to the few remaining parts of my brain that haven’t yet gone haywire because of lust. “H-how do I know if I can trust you?”

          “Because I say so.”

          And there’s the lifeline I’ve been looking for, although I can’t say I’m a hundred percent happy I found it.

          “I can’t.” I wish it was enough, I really wish that. But it’s not. At the back of my mind, I see my dad’s face and I know this is not the kind of risk I will ever take.

Yuki is silent for a long time, and my hopes for tasting something forbidden and something I’ve always fantasized die bit by bit with each second that passes. When he pulls away, I have to bite my lip again so I won’t accidentally beg him to come back and just give me one kiss.

          His jaw hardens and the expression on his face reminds me of how Scott looks whenever my mom Kelly forces down Chinese medicine on his throat. She says it’s good for his migraines, but with Kelly you don’t really know. She loves bullying us. 

“I’ll give you proof that I know how to keep my mouth shut.”

          The words totally throw me off. “
Proof
?”

          Yuki takes out his iPhone from his back pocket. “Can I Bluetooth you something?”

          Still confused, I take out my own iPhone from the side pocket of my skirt and my phone beeps a few moments later.

When I realize what kind of video he has sent me, my cheeks start flaming. At the rate I’m going, I don’t think I’ll need to buy face blush anytime soon. Talking to Yuki is all I require to have my cheeks match my lip gloss.

I look back at the video, which is still running. In it, Yuki is slowly stripping his clothes off, taking his time as he unbuttons his shirt and unbuckles his belt.

          Wow.

          I mean,
no way.

          NO WAY.

          Will he notice if I press pause, now that he’s gripping himself in all his naked glory?

          I clear my throat. “Do you, umm, carry this kind of video with you all the time?”

          Yuki reddens, and for a moment I find myself distracted again because his embarrassment just adds another irresistible dimension to his looks.

“Stop staring at me like that,” Yuki snaps.

Then stop looking like a god!
But of course I can’t say that either. I glare at him. “It’s hard not to stare at you when you’re the first person I know who has a video of himself---”

          “It’s not like that!” He rakes a hand through his hair then glares at my phone. “I didn’t know El---” He mutters something in Japanese under his breath, too quickly for my Level 3 JLPT certified mind to catch.

          Ell…who?

          Elle Thornton, the blond bombshell from hell, or Ellie Masters, the lovely sophomore damsel, or---

          Yuki gives me a dry look. “You won’t figure it out so just give it up. She’s from another school.” He pauses. “And the girls I date always have boyfriends, too.”

          So that’s why I never hear any rumors about Yuki dating anyone.

          I feel I have to ask, in the interest of what, I’ll just have to think about later. “You don’t like
any
girl in our school at all?”

          “Forgive me for the words,
senpai
, but you don’t
shit
where you eat.”

          It admittedly takes me several moments to process that. Does that mean---

         
He always does this kind of stuff with the girls he dates?

          He only dates girls with boyfriends since they can’t talk about him?

          He---

         
“
Senpai
, we’re getting a little off topic.”

          I have to ask again. This time, I’m chalking it down to the natural curiosity of a
mangaka.
“What’s with all this cloak-and-dagger stuff about you dating? Are you, like, engaged back home in Japan---”

          Yuki’s lips curve into another brief smile. “Let’s just say that’s my little mystery,
senpai
.” He tips my chin up. “Western girls like you love mysterious guys, right?”

          Feeling like I’ve stupidly gotten myself in dangerous territory again, I quickly backtrack and say, “This video…”

          Yuki looks pained. “The girl I was with took this video last night---”

          Whoa.

          Last night?

          He did this last night?

          People did this on school nights?

“---and I hadn’t been aware of it. I was going through my phone lunchtime and that was when I saw what---she did. I didn’t delete the video because I was going to confront her about it.”

          “I want to believe you,” I begin.

          “It’s the truth!”

          I’m distracted again. That voice --- it’s exactly how I imagine he’d sound when we’re doing it, low, rough growls---

          This is getting really bad.

          “So I showed it to you because it’s my proof that you have something to blackmail me with if I ever say anything about you to anyone,” Yuki continues.

          Why are you doing this?” He’s taking such a huge gamble by doing this and I can’t figure out his motives.

“I told you. I want you to be my toy. And…you really are the most fascinating person I’ve ever met.”

          He fascinates me, too, but I don’t think we’re on the same page. Mine’s kind of, umm, sexual, but his kind of fascination feels more like I’m a mutant species and he’s the dissecting scientist.

Yuki suddenly closes the distance between us. “Enough talking,” he mutters, lowering his face to mine until our lips are millimeters away from touching. Just like that, and the air around us becomes charged with the kind of tension that used to exist only inside of my mind.

“So what do you say,
senpai
?”

I try to inch away from him because I just can’t think when he’s this close. “I just don’t get it. Why me? There are so many other girls…” I shut up with a self-directed scowl, realizing a little too late that it’s like I’m fishing for compliments.

“It’s because you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he says very seriously, but his eyes are gleaming so brightly I know he’s just teasing me.