Dream Chaser (20 page)

The men altered their jokes away from the bawdy out of respect for a woman in their presence. Jonathan was certain they would be talking among themselves about this particular day after they reached the high pastures, and when they returned to the ranch. He made sure Suzanna’s coffee was laced with whisky
so that she would sleep through the night. He ached to hold her as she slept. Instead, he wandered through the camp, edging near where she was bedded down to check on her, her hair a dark curtain against the white of the rolled jacket Nate had given her to use as a pillow.

The next
morning
, Jonathan put Suzanna on one of the extra horses, and turned her over to Caleb to take her home.

After
a few
hours on the horse
the next day
, Suzanna was glad to see her little cabin
hov
e into view.
What she now thought of as her incident with the bear was a vivid reminder of how lucky she had been. She knew so little about life away from a city, a place she now thought of as far safer for someone like herself. But she resented feeling that she couldn’t go hiking with Sam unless accompanied by someone with a gun.

She had been so relieved when the cattle herd had come along as she was heading home, but embarrassed that the men had seen her. They’d probably concluded that she was a dude, just like those others who rode around in fenced pastures at some of the other ranches. Dudes who were overseen by what Grady, unaware she’d been within hearing range, had dismissively called a dude wrangler, until a word from Curly had halted such talk.

When she thought back to Jonathan, she was thrilled he’d given her a ride back and an excuse to cling to him when she’d lost control and started to shake. He seemed to sense that she hadn’t wanted to seem weak, but still he’d offered to hold her. It was her pride that made her say no, even as tears flooded her eyes and left a huge wet spot on the back of his shirt. Still it felt so good to hold onto him.

She spent the next two days tending her garden
,
changing the dressings on
the dog’s
wound
and planning her next hike. Some old bear wasn’t going to stop her from exploring. She just had to be more careful where she went.
I
will
go hiking again, with a gun, if I have to.
But she held no illusions that she would be able to shoot it
.
Maybe if Sam’s in danger.
She shivered at the thought.

Dear Penny and Kevin: I’m saving time by writing you both in one letter. Please share it.

Sam and I had an adventure I hope never to repeat—we went hiking and ran into a bear. Well, actually, I was swimming in the lake when the bear showed up. Jonathan said he was probably after our food. Sam attacked him and the bear caught him on the shoulder. If Jonathan hadn’t come along, it would have taken us longer to get home. As it was, he sent me home on a horse with one of his hands who has no idea how difficult it is to carry on a one-sided conversation.

I hope all is well with the two of you.

Much love, Mom

P.S. My garden is doing great!

A week after her adventure with the bear,
Suzanna pulled up
to the ranch house
just
as
the foreman
was coming out of the barn.

“Hi, Curly.
Is
Mr. Kingsley
home?”

“No. He’s in Wyoming—won’t be back
till
Saturday
. What can I do for you? Is
Sam all healed up
?”

“H
e’s
much better
. I was wondering if you could
tell me where I might buy a gun.
Jonathan said I should take one with me
when
I go hiking.”

“You still want to do that?”

“I probably won’t run into another bear, but I want to be prepared.”

“Have you e
ver
used a gun
?”
His dark eyes twinkled at her.

“Well, no, but I was thinking if I got a little one, I could use it to scare
it
away—or maybe a mountain lion, though I hope never to meet up with one
of them
.”

“A little one? You mean a hand gun.” He opened the door of the Jeep for her.

She nodded.

“Those little pop guns don’t do much, unless you’re thinking a rabbit might attack you
,” he said with a grin
.
“What you need is a rifle.
You can borrow one of ours.”
She followed him
into the house,
where he
unlocked the cabinet on the sidewall of the living room, and brought a rifle out to the porch.

“Come sit
next to me
, and I’ll show you what you need to know.”
S
he watched while he took the gun apart, explaining each step as he did so.
“Now that I’ve shown you how to take it apart, it’s your turn.”

“To do what?”

“Put it together.” He smiled at her. “If you can’t take care of your piece, you can’t use it.”

She fumbled with the gun parts, trying to remember what part went where. After several attempts, Curly took over. “Let’s do this again.” He demonstrated
twice more
, slowly
the first time, then more quickly
.

She watched
every step in the process
, knowing he was going to test her. After she successfully reassembled the gun, he stood up. “
You learn quick. Time for lesson number two
. Follow me.” He grabbed a box of shells.
“Nate!”

The old man stuck his head out the kitchen door.

“I’m takin’ Suzanna up by the old stump.
That’s where I’ll be
if you need me.”

“Will do
. Afternoon, Suzanna.” Nate grinned at her as they walked by.

Well away from the ranch buildings, they approached a large tree stump pockmarked with holes.
“Wait here.” Curl
y walked toward the remains of the
downed pine tree.

He went behind the stump, placed some tin cans on it, and turned to look at Suzanna.
“Down!” he pointed.

She sat down.

“Point the gun down, Suzanna,” his hand
pointed
toward the ground.

“Oh.” She did
so
, feeling like a dunce.

When he
was standing next to
her, he said, “Always carry the gun with the safety on and
keep it
pointed toward the ground.”

“Of course.”
How am I going to remember all this?

He put some shells into the gun for her and handed it back.
“Now, put it up to your shoulder.” He helped her nestle the stock into her shoulder. “It’s got a kick, but not too bad. You want to aim a bit higher than the target—to take account of the wind
and distance
. Now,
just
squeeze the trigger
after
you aim it.”

She squinted then
pulled the trigger. “Oh!” The gun kicked back into her shoulder. “I see what you mean!
Did I hit anything?”

He laughed. “Did you he
ar a ping or a clunk? And, y
ou need to keep your e
yes open when you shoot.
”

She smiled at him. “I didn’t know I closed them.
Let me try again.
”

“Go ahead.”

After several shots, she hit the stump. “Wow! I hit
it
!” She grinned.

“Yep. Now try for one of those cans.” He rubbed the sweat off his bald head before recentering his hat.

“But t
hey are so small!”

“Just think of them as the butt of
a bear.
”
He smirked.

She laughed. I
ntent on doing better, she
shot
several
more
times
at the cans. An hour later, she had hit one of the
m
solidly and dealt another a glancing blow.

Curly stood up. “That’s enough for now. You did good
—like a real ranch woman
.
But y
ou might want to practice some more before you go out on your own again.
”
They walked back toward the house.
“Before you leave, let’s fix your Jeep.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“You’ll see.” He went into the barn. While she watched, he attached a gun rack to the inside back window of the Jeep.
With the gun in place on the rack and a box of shells on the seat next to her, she headed back to the cabin.

She practiced nearly every day she didn’t go into town.
When
she went in to check on Emma and pick up the mail, she stopped at the general store and bought a box of shells to replace the ones she had used. The kick of the gun no longer surprised her and after several days, she considered herself reasonably proficient—most of the time hitting the cans she aimed at. Still, she
wasn’t sure
she coul
d use the gun against an animal
unless Sam was attacked.
But she had promised to take it with her on future hikes
and the thought of meeting another bear or any other large animal convinced her of the need to be armed
. She often found herself thinking of Jonathan and imagining what her life might have been like had she met him
at the university instead
of Brad.

S
he debated whether to invite
Jonathan
to watch her as she pumped shells into the old tree stump and the dented tin cans
and decided against it. His presence would make her nervous. Besides, she’d rather kiss him than show him she could hit an old stump. She’d never imagined herself handling a gun, even as potential protection against a wild animal. She laughed when she thought how Margaret would react if she could see her now. “Who knew, Sam?” Her life had changed so much, in ways she never could have predicted.

Chapter 10

Suzanna
climbed the ridge
on her first hike since the disastrous encounter with the bear and her rifle lessons with Curly
.
The
Jeep
was
parked
far
down the slope. Sam dashed out of the woods chasing a rabbit, which saved itself by ducking under a log.
The dog’s
enthusiastic digging
shower
ed
the near
by ferns and shrubs with dirt.

“Come on, Sam!” Reluctantly, he left the rabbit and raced
after
her. They climbed for another half-hour, ending at an open meadow
created by a recent clear-cut. Tiny new
trees
had been planted
near the stumps all over the
hillside.

“So that’s how they do it.” She
slid the rifle off her shoulder,
pulled off her new
back
pack and reached for
her
sandwich and water bottle. She leaned back to enjoy the sun on her face.
When she resumed
walking, the sound of rushing water
caught her attention
. “Let’s see if we can find that water, Sammie.” He cocked his head at her as she waved Sam toward
a
barely-discernible deer trail.

The noise of the water got louder. “Must be a waterfall.” Before she could catch her breath, she came to the edge of a cliff, over which the water was cascading. “We must be at least
a hundred
feet up.”

At the sound of rustling in the woods, Suzanna looked over her shoulder, gripping the rifle stock with one hand. Her pulse began to pound. A wave of fear
made her
turn and
run
back
toward the clear
cut, stumbling twice
each time
looked
behind her. A tree limb seemed to reach out and snatch her sun hat off her head when she didn’t duck quickly enough, and her heart rate climbed further. She grasped her hat in one hand and jumped a small stream in her haste to escape the unseen creature. Her sense of dread increased and she ran faster as she emerged onto
open ground
, the rifle bouncing against her back, pushing her to flee
.

Sam
seemed to catch her mood. He circled
back to bark
in the direction of the woods
.
Suzanna caught her breath only after reaching the Wrangler, climbing in, and locking the door after Sam leapt into the back seat.
“Let’s get out of here.” She
shoved the gun onto the seat, and
gunned the motor
as she
headed toward town.
She was almost to the post office before her heart rate slowed and she was no longer gasping for breath.

While waiting in
line at the post office
,
Suzanna chatted briefly with two
people she had met
at the box supper earlier in the summer. When it was her turn, Abigail
beamed at her
.

“Glad to see you again, Suzanna. It’s been
a while
.
I’ve got a wad of mail for you. This one here looks like it’s from a lawyer. You in trouble with the law?” she grinned, handing over the stack.

“H
e’s taking care of
a few
things
for me
.” She
shuffl
ed through the rest of the mail and noted two letters from Kevin and another from
Penny. Mixed in were
several letters addressed to the Circle K ranch.

“I thought you might
wanna drop them
off
,” Abby explained
.
“
I hear Jonathan’s out of town, and I haven’t seen Caleb
all week
.
He must be working the cows in the high pastures these days.” Abby
peer
ed at Suzanna
over her half glasses. “Your hair’s getting
kinda long.”

Suzanna smiled. “I decided it was too much trouble
to cut.
”
She
pulled her hair
to one side to catch the breeze from the overhead fan.

“
You might wanna pile it on top of your head like I do when it’s hot. Anyway,
it looks nice on
you,” Abby grinned, raised an eyebrow and winked.
“
You and Jonathan
seemed to get along pretty well at the box supper.”

Suzanna stepped back from the counter, her pulse picking up at mention of the man.
“He bought my dinner, and we ate it
, is all
. Weren’t you one of the people who told me that’s how box s
uppers work? We’re just friends…and
neighbors.”

Abby turned toward the boxes she needed to fill. “Right, just friends. Well, if you could take that mail to the ranch and give it to Nate
so he doesn’t have to send one of the boys
,
it
would be neighborly.”

“I
can do that
.”

S
uzanna remained
at
the cabin for the next few days, tending the garden. Much as she tried not to
dwell on her fears
, she
began to wa
ke at night
, unsure at first why she couldn’t sleep. After one especially difficult night, she wandered into the kitchen and looked at the calendar where she had jotted two- and three-word phrases relating to her activities since she’d left home, a kind of mini-diary.

As she scanned the current month, she realized with a start that it was the week of Brad’s death the previous year.
No wonder.
But knowing that didn’t seem to help when she went back to bed.

She found peace only when she padded outside and sat
on the porch, counting the stars and
trying to
identify the constellations until
exhaustion overwhelmed her. But each time she returned to bed, she was roused again, her heart racing, her body bathed in sweat
.

One evening,
after a solitary dinner, Suzanna rose from the table and left the cabin as dusk descended and an owl began a haunting call in the nearby woods.

“Maybe if I take a little walk, I’ll be too tired to stay awake.”
She paid little attention to where she was going,
letting Sam’s wandering lead the way
until she realized she was near the ranch house.
Two horses in the nearby corral whickered at her
. She approached them and petted the face of one when it thrust its head over the top of the corral. When she turned around to head back home, a
single light in an upper room
of the main house
told her someone was home.

Hesitantly, she knocked
once, twice
. She was about to leave when
Jonathan, shirtless and barefoot, opened the door.
She sucked in her breath at the sight of his chest and flat abdomen above his low-slung jeans.
Better than I imagined.

In his signature deep voice, always so
calm,
Jonathan
asked,
“
Isn’t it a little late for a social call?”

“I
’m sorry.
I didn’t
mean
to disturb you, wasn’t even sure you were home.” She edged
away from
the door. “I just felt the need for some human company.”

He reached out for her hand. “What’s the matter? Are you
ill
? Is Sam ok
ay
?”

She shook her head and allowed him to draw her over to the porch swing. “I—would it be
alright
if I just sit here for a bit?
You don’t have to keep me company. I know it’s late.
”

“Of course. Sit.”

He went
inside briefly, and
returned to sit down next to her
, buttoning his shirt
. “
This swing was made for two people. My daughter told me once it wasn’t right for a girl to sit in it by herself.” He winked at her. “I think that was the night her first boyfriend broke up with her.” He pushed one foot against the porch floor. “
So, what made you want human company?
I
thought Sam was your favorite man Friday.”

She
looked at him, determined to reassure him
that she could take care of herself. “I want you to know I now have
a
gun
.
I
always
take it with me when I go into the woods.”

“You’
re hiking again.
” The swing began a soothing back and forth motion.
“
That’s good.”

“Curly showed me how to use it while
you were gone.”

“He
told me you were a quick study
.” He
rested his arm over the back of the swing.

“And I’ve been practicing. Most of the time, I can actually
hit what I’m aiming at.”

“That’s admirable.” He looked at her
and pushed a strand of silky hair off her cheek. “But something spooked you.
Did
Sam scare up
another bear?”

“No.”

“Did you have to
shoot someone or something,
to scare them away?”

“No.”
She lost what was left of her composure and stopped talking.

A heavy silence settled over
her.
How to relax?
Her hands were trembling in her lap
.

“I’m not a mind-reader, Suzanna.”
Jonathan
sto
od up. “You’
re shivering.
Come into the house.
Sam, you stay on the porch with Rex.” The dog lay down
next to the old retriever
.

Suzanna followed Jonathan.
She
sat
down on the couch. He
placed a blanket around her shoulders.

“I’m not really cold,” she sighed, “just tired of
bad dreams
—I guess I just need
ed
some company. There’s much to be said for being alone—for privacy. And I relish
it…
mostly. But there are times when being with people is better
.
”

She
glanced sidelong in his direction through her downturned lashes.
Alone and lonely, that’s what I am these days.
But she didn’t want to be alone anymore. The loneliness of her years with Brad rushed over her, making her feel smothered. She didn’t want to feel that no one cared anymore.

“I’m no psychiatrist, but I was told once that when we confront our fears, they tend to go away.
How about
something warm to drink?”

She nodded
as she huddled under the blanket
. He brought her a large mug of steaming tea
and stirred in
a generous jigger of brandy.

She made a face after the first sip.
“I wasn’t expecting it to be laced.”

He grinned.
“Drink it down. Brandy’s always good for what ails
a person, especially when they’
re
shivering. It will warm you up
.” He sat down and put his arm around her
shoulders
while she finished the tea.
“Want to talk some more?”

When she relaxed enough to laugh at a joke, he grinned back at her.

“That’s better.” He slid his fingers slowly through her hair down to her shoulders. “Your smile. Did you know it lights your face from within?”

The warmth she’d gained from the brandy-laced tea was nothing compared with how his touch and his words soothed her, heated her. She closed her eyes and leaned against his shoulder.

“I have to know, Suzanna.” He laced his fingers through hers then held them above her lap. “Your fingers were made for the piano. Do you play?”

She sat up and a slow smile suffused her face. “I used to.”

“Why did you stop?”

“I never played perfectly. Rather than disappoint, I stopped.”

“Who did you disappoint?” Jonathan’s voice was low and quiet, urging her to talk.

“I never play when others might be listening.”
Brad, it was Brad who hated my playing. I was never good enough.