Dream Chaser (37 page)

Her daughter was sobbing and shaking her head.

“Listen to me, sweetheart. Jonathan isn’t like your father. He isn’t forcing me to do anything. You have to let me live my own life. I’m a grown woman. I don’t need you to take care of me, much as you might want to.”

But now Penny glared at her. “How could you say those terrible things about Daddy? He isn’t here to defend himself.”

“He doesn’t need defending. It’s the truth.” She took a step toward her daughter and stopped at the look in Penny’s eyes. “I didn’t tell you this to be mean. That’s not what this is about.” She took a deep breath. “I just wanted you to understand why I should have divorced him.”

Penny picked up a tissue and blew her nose. She stared out the window for what seemed the longest time. Without turning to face Suzanna, Penny asked in a coldly controlled tone, “Are you going to his ranch before or after the wedding?”

“I’m not sure I have time before the wedding, though I’d like to. Margaret said she’d watch Sam for me, if I can arrange it.”

Penny walked to the window, her back stiff. She seemed to stand there for too many minutes. “I’ll never forgive you for saying what you did about Daddy.”

Suzanna stared at Penny in shock. How could her own daughter dismiss everything she’d just shared?

Penny smoothed her hands down her sweater. Her face devoid of color, she turned to Suzanna, her pale eyes darkening. “All right,” she said, her words slow, deliberate. “Go and live with Jonathan. But if you do that, you’ll never see me again. I’ll never accept him—or you with him.”

Suzanna gasped. Her heart seemed to stop beating in her chest.

But Penny wasn’t finished. “It’s him or me. You can’t have us both.” She tossed her clothes into her suitcase, pulled it closed and picked it up with an angry jerk. “Don’t bother seeing me out. I know the way.”

Suzanna’s blood turned cold in her veins then boiling hot. She slid down onto the bed, certain that her legs could not possibly carry her out of the room and down the stairs. The front door slammed, punctuating the finality of Penny’s words.

For the second time that week, Margaret spent the better part of the afternoon with Suzanna. “Just put the house on the market and go live with him. Forget about what Penny said. You know she didn’t mean it. She was just playing the guilt card.”

Margaret petted Sam’s head when he thrust his nose under her palm for attention. Suzanna had dark circles under her eyes and her skin was pale. A few tear tracks were evident on her cheeks and she looked like she’d lost weight.

“I have to get her to understand, Margaret. I can’t lose my daughter. She’s the only one I have.”

Margaret patted her hand and reached for the tea cozy. “Let me talk to her. Penny won’t expect me to call her.”

Suzanna shook her head. “No. Don’t. She’ll be furious if she thinks I shared this with you—with anyone.”

Margaret poured a cup of herbal tea for Suzanna and one for herself. Sam walked over to Suzanna and placed his head in her lap. The dog’s soft moan sounded to Margaret like he was commiserating with Suzanna.

“Look, you’re miserable here and Jonathan’s probably miserable without you. Does he know what Penny said?”

Suzanna shook her head. “I couldn’t tell him.”

“You’re not going to choose Penny, are you?” Margaret reached over and covered one of Suzanna’s too-cold hands with one of hers, warm from the tea she’d just poured.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have been so honest with her about Brad, about what he did to me.”

“Nonsense! She deserved to know. Suzanna, you can’t pick her over him. If you do, you’re just proving to Penny that she was right, that she knows better than you how you should live. Don’t you dare! That girl should be ashamed of herself for saying what she did.”

Suzanna looked like she was going to say something then subsided back into her chair.

Margaret continued. “Well, if you want my opinion … Never mind, I’m going to give it to you anyway. You need to talk to him. Better yet, go see him.”

“I can’t. You know I’ve been trying to get the house ready for sale. Maybe I should hold off on that, too.” Suzanna wiped her eyes and patted Sam’s head. He whined like he understood her dilemma before sighing heavily and walking over to his dog bed in the corner of the sunroom. He circled three times before flopping down, his head resting on the side that rose up slightly.

“Then there’s the wedding.”

“I thought you said Ronnie’s mother hired a wedding planner.”

“She did, but the kids don’t like her. I told Kevin I’d do whatever he and Ronnie want me to do. Just like when Lucy stepped up when her son got married and Lori’s mother just couldn’t manage everything. I promised Ronnie I would help. I know it’s usually the bride’s family’s responsibility, but these are modern times and grooms’ families do more these days.”

“Okay, I get that.” Margaret paused in mid-sip. “Maybe Penny just doesn’t want you to marry him. That’s her hang-up.” She continued, sensing an opportunity. “Since when do you have to marry him, if that’s the problem? Just go live with him. It’s not like when we got married, when everybody expected that.”

“You can’t mean that, Margaret. Besides, I’m not sure Jonathan would agree to that.”

Margaret frowned. “Your high-handed daughter thinks she can rule your life—just like her father did. And she can’t. She shouldn’t. You mustn’t let her.” She opened the cupboard and pulled down the cookie canister.

She turned back to face Suzanna. “He loves you. You said so yourself. And you saved his life, for heaven’s sake, when that cougar attacked him. Besides, Nate’s there to cook. Just think. You wouldn’t even have to make meals. That would be heaven on earth, if you ask me. You’d only have to be good in the best room in the house.”

At that, Suzanna looked like she was going to smile. “But I like to cook.”

“Then ask Nate to let you use the kitchen. Maybe he’d like a day off every once in a while.” Margaret nibbled on a cookie. “Are you going to call Penny’s bluff? Tell her you’re choosing Jonathan? I’ll bet she backs off the minute you say that. Since when does a daughter tell her mother who she can or can’t love?”

Sam rolled over in his bed and groaned.

“Even Sam agrees with me.”

But Suzanna’s silence told Margaret that she still feared losing her daughter. Before she left that afternoon, she said, “Why don’t you focus on positive thoughts about Kevin’s wedding? Penny’ll come around. You’ll see.”

Suzanna picked up the phone, put it down again then raised it to her ear. “Hi, Nate. Is Jonathan there?”

“Hey, Suzanna. It’s great to hear your voice. Just a minute. He’s in the other room. When are you coming back here? We all miss your smiling face and that pretty white dog of yours. Rex mopes around, looking for him.”

Suzanna’s heart clutched. Even Jonathan’s dog wanted her back, or at least Sam. She was about to reply to Nate when she heard it.

One word, its deep timbre as exciting as it was soothing. “Suzanna.”

“Jonathan. I’m sorry I’ve been slow to answer your last emails.”

“I know you’ve been busy. With the wedding details. Right?”

How can he be so understanding?
Suzanna took a deep breath. “I’m not quite sure how to say this.” Was it her imagination that he sucked in his breath? “We, that is, I—um, a problem has come up.”

“Tell me. Perhaps we can solve it together.”

I wish.
“Actually, it’s my problem.” Suzanna began to pace. Sam followed her, whining softly. “Sit down,” she said firmly.

“I’m already sitting,” Jonathan replied with a chuckle.

Suzanna gave a short laugh. “Not you. Sam.” She stopped talking, gulped and then burst out, “It’s Penny. She’s given me an ultimatum. She refuses to see that my coming back to the ranch is a good thing. It’s you or her, she said. I can’t lose my daughter, Jonathan, I just can’t. But I don’t want to lose you, either. I—I don’t think … I’m not quite sure …” Her voice failed her. She plopped down abruptly on a nearby chair.

Sam snuggled next to her, practically sitting on her feet, pinning her legs to the chair. He placed a paw on her knee.

Suzanna rested a hand on his head and stroked it.
At least you don’t hate me, but what about Jonathan?
His silence seemed ominous now.

“Would you like me to speak to her?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Why did Penny have to be so difficult? “I left her a message to come to dinner so we could hash this out. I didn’t exactly tell her that, but that’s what I was thinking. After making her favorite foods. To kind of butter her up.” She sighed.

“Does Kevin feel the same—about me? About you living here?” His voice now sounded almost impersonal, businesslike.

“No. Kevin hasn’t said a word except to tell me how grateful he is that you sent his name on to your friend, even though he hasn’t heard anything yet.” She bit her lip, trying not to tear up. “Kevin likes you.” But even to herself, she sounded weak, weepy.

“But Penny doesn’t.” Jonathan remained silent after that, waiting for her to speak. When she didn’t, he cleared his throat. His voice now seemed measured, not quite so cool. “I’m scheduled to come to Minneapolis to meet with Jamie. I’ll come see you. We’ll talk.”

“When?”
I have to talk to Penny before he gets here. So I can tell him I took care of it.

“Soon.”

Suzanna heard mumbling in the background.

“I need to go, Suzanna.” He paused. “We’ll figure this out.”

“Okay.” She tried to sound upbeat, confident. “I’ll talk with her before you arrive. So we don’t have to worry about it.”

A small deep chuckle. “You do that.”

But he hadn’t said he loved her before hanging up. Suzanna remained in her chair, feeling glum.

Sam looked up at her, sympathy in his eyes, it seemed. The dog trotted into the kitchen and returned, his leash in his mouth.

Suzanna smiled. “A walk. Let’s do that. Before I call her.” Maybe then she’d feel better. She slipped on her boots and reached for her heavy coat. “Walking in the snow will be fun, won’t it, Sam?” After snapping the leash onto his collar, she pushed open the back door and walked outside.

Chapter 19

Ten days later,
Jonathan tossed his bags into the back
of the rental car
. Fortified with a cup of coffee—“better give me two extra shots
,
”
he said to the barista
—he
drove into Minneapolis. “I’ll be at your place when I get there,” he told Jamie. “There’s something else I need to do first.” Before the seminar intervened, he intended to concentrate on the Penny problem.

He ran a hand through his hair, hoping he looked presentable, opened the car door and strode up the walk to her front door.

“Jonathan
,” she
cri
ed
, her cheeks pinking up prettily.

He wanted to think her blush was from his kiss rather than the freshening breeze as h
e planted
one
firmly on her lips.

The look in her eyes told him that she was glad to see him, but maybe fearful, too. Suzanna had said she would talk with Penny. But all she said was,
“What a nice surprise!
You said you were coming for a seminar, or is it over already?
”

He shook his head. “I don’t have to be at Jamie’s for a couple of days. What did Penny say when you talked to her?”

Suzanna bit her lip. “She’s home from her last business trip, but she hasn’t been over to see me yet.” She sighed. “I was hoping time would heal her particular wounds.”

You haven’t called her.
“Does this have anything to do with her relationship with her father?” Jonathan brushed Suzanna’s hand with his own. When he’d told Chrissie he’d met someone, she had sounded cautiously encouraging, like he deserved to have a woman friend. Neil even more so. Enthusiastic, actually.

He w
alked
over to the
CD
player and looked at the music options, switching from the cool jazz piece that had been playing to something he hadn’t heard in a long time. “Come sit with me, please.”

They listened in silence
through two songs
before he took her in his arms. Between kisses, he asked, “Wouldn
’t you like it if we spent
every evening this way?”

“It
definitely
has appeal.”

“
You can make it happen,” he murmured. “All you have to do is tell Penny to back off.”

She was silent for a long minute. But the way she was looking at him, studying him. What did it mean?

“Or is it that you want her to…maybe it is easier for you…if someone else tells you what to do.” He eased himself away from her, allowing space between them, so they were no longer touching.

“That’s not it.” She pursed her lips, her hands moving jerkily in her lap. “Penny is my daughter. I can’t let her cut me out of her life.”

“You don’t have to. Tell her you will make your own decisions.” His heart was beating furiously even as he willed his voice to sound calm, soothing, not to be angry with her when what he wanted to do was to confront Penny directly, to shake some sense into the girl, convince her to stop giving Suzanna ultimatums. Was this how her husband had controlled Suzanna? The frustration he felt grew at the thought.

Not wanting to back Suzanna into a corner, he said,
“Maybe you’re trying too hard to make a decision with your head. Why not let your heart tell you what to do?” He pulled her to her feet. “That music seems appropriate.” They swayed together when ‘
Savin’ All My Love for You’
began to play. “
Is that what this is, a stolen moment
?”

They danced in silence.
Suzanna seemed to relax
as they swayed
together
. She looked up at him. “You make me
so
happy, happie
r than I’ve been in a long time.” She leaned her head into his chest. “But haven’t you ever worried that maybe I will bore you after a while? I mean, I’ve never been anything but a housewife.”

“Bore me
?
No way!
You are
full of surprises.” He
looked down at her as they swayed to the music.
After a brief silence, he offered,
“
We can talk to Penny together, if you prefer.”

He felt her tense. “
Suzanna, don’t you realize how strong you are
?
How many women would drive all over the country by themse
lves
with just a dog for
company? You took
control of your life
even
when
your own family didn’
t support
you
.
Penny is probably reacting to that. I’m just a convenient excuse she’s using to force you to do things her way. Probably how her father treated her—and you.” He paused when she seemed to consider his words.

He decided to press the point. “H
ow many women would fit so well in a place
they
’d never been before? A city-raised person who learned how to shoot a gun and then saved her man’s
life?”
He kissed the top of her head
as worry began to crowd his thoughts.

“You’re my man?”

“I am.”
The man you can have forever if you want me. Just say you do.

He tried again. “
Accept that you have lots of inner strength
. I could never be attracted to,
fall in love with
someone
who expected to be taken care of.
You need to use that strength to sav
e yourself from your bad dreams, from Penny’s threats,
to
reach out and grab
the life you want.
”

Christine’s poignant words to him so many times during her growing up years reverberated in his brain. “It’s the one thing I regret most. That Christine and Neil missed having a mother when they were growing up.”
They danced the rest of the song and another one in silence.

“I’ll bet if you tell Penny she doesn’t have to be your keeper, she’ll be relieved. Daughters need their mothers to mother them, not the other way around.
”

“You’re right.” She took an audible breath. “I have to do that.”

“For now, let’s just agree that
we
enjoy
our time
together—until I have to
leave for the seminar. You can talk to Penny while I’m at the university. When I come back, we’ll celebrate your success.” He kissed her again.

That night they slept in each other’s arms in the guest room, her responsiveness seeming to tell him what she hadn’t been able to say. Jonathan left for Jamie’s house the next day, hopeful that they’d soon resolve the issues keeping them apart.

“How did things go?” Suzanna asked when Jonathan called her at the close of the seminar.

“Fine. Jamie made a dinner reservation for the three of us. Can you be ready in less than an hour? I want to introduce the two of you.”

She chuckled. “I’ll be ready.”

Shortly after they arrived at the restaurant, Suzanna excused herself to take an unexpected call from Ronnie’s mother. “I’m so sorry. She’s been driving us all to distraction since Ronnie and Kev fired the wedding planner.”

Jamie turned to Jonathan. “You never told me she was gorgeous.” He pulled at his mustache.

Jonathan smiled, pleased at his friend’s remark. Suzanna was wearing a black dress that showed off her figure, a dress he wanted to take off the minute they were back at her house. Its plunging neckline stopped short of her décolleté and she wore earrings that matched a tiny diamond that nestled in the hollow of her throat.

“And she cooks, too,” he said with a chuckle.

Jamie laughed then stood when Suzanna returned to the table, clicking off her phone as she sat down. “No more interruptions. Tell me, you two, about that seminar and how you use it to teach the students about negotiations and the tactics you use.”

Jamie grinned at her. “Let’s order first. I want to hear more about you, Suzanna. Jonathan says you’re a regular Annie Oakley.”

She blushed when she gazed at Jonathan and his friend. “He exaggerates.” She looked at the menu. “If you’ve been here before, what do you recommend?”

Jonathan drove slowly toward Suzanna’s home after leaving Jamie. He glanced her way and said,
“
I wanted the three of us to have a nice dinner—before I have to leave. I’m glad we could do that.”

“It was lovely. I can see why the two of you have worked together for so long.” After they entered the house, Suzanna offered, “Let me make us a nightcap.” But shortly after she entered the kitchen, the back door flew open and Penny walked in out of the darkness.

Her eyebrows rose when she saw Jonathan. “What are
you
doing here? You didn’t invite him, did you, Mother? I thought you said you were going to—”

Why must she always put me on the defensive?
“Yes, I invited him here. See the beautiful flowers Jonathan brought?” She pointed to the bouquet he’d given her when he’d picked her up for the dinner with Jamie.

Penny turned her glare in Jonathan’s direction, her voice dismissive. “A dozen bribes with blossoms? You think you can make her say yes with a bouquet of flowers?”

Her daughter’s stance reminded Suzanna of a warrior preparing to lunge a sword into an opponent’s heart.

“He hasn’t asked me to say anything, dear.” Why then was Jonathan looking at her like that? Her heart clutched. He’d expected her to have that conversation. But now he was staring at her daughter with a stony expression, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Would you like some tea or coffee, dear? It’s almost ready. Grab a cup and sit down.”

Penny turned on her heel. “No thanks.” She seemed about ready to leave when Jonathan spoke up.

“You’re the elephant in the room, aren’t you, Penny?”

Suzanna caught her breath.

Penny’s face was turning darkening shades of pink. “I beg your pardon.”

“I think you know what I mean. You told your mother she had to choose between you and me.” Jonathan seemed to stand taller as he approached Penny. “Are you sure you want to risk losing your mother when there’s no need for that?”

Penny glanced at Suzanna, her brow furrowed. “What? She told me she wasn’t going to leave, so I’m not losing her. You are!” And she dared to poke a finger toward Jonathan’s chest.

He caught her hand before she could touch him. “You need to stop trying to run your mother’s life.” His eyes seemed to blaze with anger, though his voice was steady. “Tell her you didn’t mean it.”

Penny tried to pull her hand away, but Jonathan wouldn’t loosen his grasp.

“I think that’s enough,” Suzanna interrupted, her voice breathy, her pulse was racing. “If we could just, the three of us, sit down and discuss this.”

Penny’s eyes filled but she refused to stop glaring back at Jonathan. “Let me go,” she said between clenched teeth. “You have no right—”

“Correction,” Jonathan said. “
You
have no right—to make choices for your mother. That’s
her
right.” He released her and Penny stumbled backward.

“I’ll talk with you later, Mother.” She flounced out, the back door banging behind her.

Suzanna followed Penny to her car. “Please come back. We need to talk about this.”

“Not with him here!” Penny gunned the motor of her car and skidded out of the alley.

Suzanna returned to the house, anger and fear alternating with frustration that she’d lost a perfect opportunity to confront Penny. Jonathan’s expression had changed from that hint of hope and maybe vulnerability to barely suppressed anger, if his clenching jaw was any indication.

“Please don’t say it. I know I should have talked with her before you came. I wanted to, but she hasn’t been over in weeks. I’ve asked her and asked her to call before she barges in, but she can’t seem to remember to do that, either. I’m sorry—what she said to you, inferring an ulterior motive and all.”

“Is that what you thought those flowers were—an ulterior motive?” His voice had an edge she hadn’t heard before and his eyes seemed to smolder.

He is so angry. At Penny, at me. I should have told her off.
She forced herself to smile then reached for her tea cup. “Actually, I did detect a message in them.”

“What was that?” His words were clipped, his eyes dark, like storm clouds in a previously azure sky.

“I thought you were telling me you loved me…and—” She blotted her lips with her napkin. Did she dare to say it?

“And what, Suzanna?”

“You want me to come back to the ranch.” She held her breath.
Could he tell she meant it?

He seemed to relax slowly after Penny’s departure. “You thought right,” he murmured, “on both counts.”