Dream Smashers (8 page)

***

The first half of the day didn’t go as
planned. Not once did I get the courage to talk to anybody. A few
steps toward Sandy (a girl I knew in kindergarten who is now too
popular for words) and I panicked. I shouldn’t have tried the big
fish first. The bottom feeders should be easier to approach.

So much for Rule Number Six.

It’s been forever since I’ve been in the
cafeteria and when I did go, Rainy was always with me. I stand in
the doorway, awkward, with lunch sack in hand, searching for a
place. Okay, the popular tables are to the left. I need to avoid
those at all costs. Maybe I should try the nerd table. I mean,
they’re nerds, right? They like everyone, don’t they?

Nerd table here I come. I smile (Rule Number
One). My cheeks ache already from smiling all morning. They’re in
my sight. Confidence, a swing of the hair and a destination at
hand. They’ve got to like me—there’s no reason why they shouldn’t.
I’m nice and stuff.

Just make a beeline for the table without
looking anywhere else. Concentrate. My ears are hot, my face is
hot, my hands are hot and wet. Go away anxiety. Leave town, you’re
not wanted here. This is the new me and I’m going to make friends
today.

What if they don’t like me? What if they
laugh when I ask to sit? Maybe there is some kind of rules to doing
this sort of thing. Are new people allowed to sit wherever they
want? I don’t know. But I’m not new so those rules won’t apply
anyway. Closer and closer I get without a single idea of what I’m
going to say.

The girl with the glasses makes eye contact
with me. Oh no. She’s whispering to the other girl whose name has
left me—Abby! I think she’s in one of my classes, algebra. Now they
look at the table, the floor, each other, anything but me. They
know my plan. They must.

I stop in front of the nerd table. Abby, the
girl with the glasses and a greasy boy look up at me. Silence. Oh
my God. No words come to me. My face is red. I know it is; I can
feel my cheeks burning.

Abby giggles. The boy’s mouth gapes.

Sweat stings my upper lip. Just say something
already.

“Hi,” I say.

“Uh, hi,” Abby says. Her nose crinkles. “Is
there something wrong with your mouth? It’s frozen in a crazy
smile.”

Oh gosh. I pivot and walk away, not looking
back for a second.

“That was weird,” Glasses-girl whispers
before I bolt from the cafeteria.

Oh gosh, oh damn, oh fuck. What a disaster.
It’s not like I can just waltz back in there. I can stand in the
hallway for a minute though. Take a deep breath, calm down. I’m
supposed to be carefree. Who cares what those nerds think? Is that
a rule?

Who am I kidding?

My footsteps echo through the empty locker
bays as I pass them down the hall to the doors at the end. No
destination in mind, just an exit to the outside world where the
air will set me free of my bindings. My stomach grumbles. Lucky for
me I have a healthy lunch ready to be devoured. It consists of five
carrot sticks, two pieces of broccoli, a peach yogurt and a Diet
Dr. Pepper. Not really that lucky. A cheeseburger and fries sounds
more my style.

On bike, the Burgerville down the street is
only five minutes away. This will help me feel better. Who can deny
a Burgerville cheeseburger with extra spread? Maybe I’ll even order
a double cheeseburger. And the fries are to die for.

But that’s totally against rule number, eh,
two. No, I mean three. What number is it? I reach into my back pack
to pull out my rules list. Rule Number Four: eat well balanced
meals.

You know, these rules are a little irritating
and it’s still the first day.

I get on my bike, pedal off toward
Burgerville, and remember Rule Number Five. Exercise Regularly.
Nice. At least I got one right today.

CHAPTER TWELVE

“May I help you?” asks the girl behind the
counter with tattooed arms and flesh tunnels in her ears.

“Yeah,” a pretty red-headed girl says, “can I
get a double cheeseburger in a basket with a Coke?”

When the red-head finishes her order and
receives her basket and soda, she sits down next to me on a bar
stool in the dining room, turns to me and says, “Hey.”

That’s when I recognize her. “Hi,” I say, a
little unsure I should be saying anything to the enemy. The girl
who turned James into a tweaker, according to Rainy.

“Don’t you just love Burgerville’s burgers?”
Angelica twirls copper curls around her finger.

“Yeah.” They truly are the best. I’d eat here
every day if I had the cash.

Even though Rainy will kill me, I attempt to
follow Rule Number One—smile—but the ache reminds me how retarded
my rules are, so I nix the smile for a more neutral facial
expression.

James, Rainy’s older brother, walks through
the door. I haven’t seen him in months and he’s hotter than ever.
His face is fuller and his body has more mass. He no longer looks
like the tweaker as I remember him. Rehab must have done him good.
He pushes his shaggy brown hair out of his hazel eyes before
stepping behind Angelica Cox and nuzzling his face into the soft
curls along her neck. She turns to catch his lips with her own and
then they begin sucking faces right in front of me. James’ tongue
is practically down her throat within two seconds.

I swivel the bar stool away from the vacuums
and concentrate on scooting down to the next stool without being
noticed. Slurping and wet skin smacking noises ignite my legs to
get away just as a guy from nowhere sits on the other side of me.
I’m trapped.

I have mixed emotions about this predicament.
The disgusting display of PG-13 sitting right next to me gives me
the heebie-jeebies and could possibly cause me to barf my
cheeseburger all over the counter. This could also be an
opportunity to use my new friend making skills by approaching the
guy who sat next to me with conversation. He’s not very attractive,
and a total stranger, but these characteristics could be beneficial
because they will make my failure less painful. The negative of
this situation is not only the failure part but also the fact that
it most likely will happen in front of Angelica and James. Knowing
my luck, their fishy-lips will cease just prior to my total
humiliation. Not that I care about what Angelica thinks, but James
on the other hand, has always been my best friend’s hot older
brother. Of course I care what he thinks. That’s why I’ve never
really had the nerve to have an actual conversation with him. That
and he don’t talk much.

“Hey, Autumn,” James says with a deep voice,
saving me from my dumb idea to follow Rule Number Six.

I turn the bar stool around to face the two
love birds again. “Hi.”

Angelica crosses her pale, smooth legs and
tugs her too-short skirt down so it at least covers half her
thighs. She pulls a small mirror from her purse, wipes her lips and
fluffs her hair as if kissing messed it up.

“Thanks for ratting out Rainy.” He smiles and
then laughs under his breath. “That didn’t sound right. I mean,
thanks for saving her from Ace. When I see him again I’m gonna kick
the crap out of him. He’s a real ass-head.”

“You can say that again.” Angelica glides
cherry lipstick over her full lips and then pries her emerald eyes
away from the mirror to look at me. “What’s your name again?”

“Autumn Winters.”

“Are you serious?”

I nod.

She grins. “Ha! That’s cool.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not the full of it. My
middle name is Spring.” I roll my eyes.

“Was your mom high or something? That’s crazy
cool!”

Probably. “My mom loves those seasons I
guess. I’m told she hates summer.” Umm, I have no idea why I’m
being nice to her.

“That’s real cool. I just have a simple lame
name. I’m Angelica Cox.” She holds her hand out for me to shake.
“Why haven’t I met you before?”

I hesitate before returning the official-like
handshake. “I know who you are. We’ve gone to the same schools
since, like, elementary school.”

Angelica shrugs and goes back to admiring
herself in the mirror.

James grins or maybe it’s a smirk. I don’t
think I’ve ever been around him when he’s smiling so I can’t tell
if it’s real or not.

I grab the bottle of ketchup and squeeze it
all over my fries, turning them into a pile of bloody fingers. “So,
James. You know Ace?”

James reaches over and steals a few fries.
How rude. “Yeah. We hang with the same people.” He stuffs them in
his mouth. “You do realize you just met a new friend, don’t you?” A
crazy grin stretches his face so that ketchup stained teeth taunt
me.

“Who?” I ask.

Angelica waves. “Uh, hello.” She bats her
eyelashes.

“It’s about time,” James says. “You can’t
have only one friend your entire life.” He grabs Angelica’s
untouched cheeseburger and chomps half of it in one bite. Like
sister like brother. “I love my sister and all, but you’re gonna
need someone to hang out with until she gets back.”

“So, uh, have you talked to Rainy?” I ask.
“She isn’t returning my texts.”

“They took her phone away. Don’t worry.
She’ll be back quicker than you think.” He winks at me and stuffs
the remainder of the burger in his mouth.

Angelica seems cool enough. Nicer than her
reputation led me to believe and not as evil as Rainy always said.
He’s right, though. I haven’t met a new friend since I met Rainy
forever ago.

***

Our meeting was just one of those things that
happened. On the first day of kindergarten Gramps stood next to me
at the corner, waiting for the bus. He held my lunch box and
backpack for me until the bus squeaked and then psshed to a stop.
It seemed like a giant banana until the doors opened, and then it
seemed like a jungle. All kinds of noise escaped from those opened
doors, none of it sounding the least bit safe. Screeches, giddy
laughter, yelling, crying, sneezing, coughing, all struck me as
terrifying and crazy.

Gramps nudged me toward the gaping mouth of
the bus. I tried to stay brave while he threaded my arms through
the backpack straps and handed me my lunch box. “Chin up, kiddo.
You’re going to meet some of the best friends of your life on this
bus.” He winked at me, giving me superhero strength.

I climbed up the stairs, turning at the top
to wave at him before the doors slammed shut. I found a seat next
to a window and held the fire behind my eyes and down my throat
from escaping. The bus moved forward.

Two houses down, a girl my age with a
sprinkler of hair plopped on top of her head, scurried from a
house. Her arms flapped in the air, signaling the bus to stop.

Air somehow forced itself over my vocal
chords and out my mouth. “Stop!”

The driver jerked the bus to a stop and
opened the doors for the girl.

The girl, out of breath, slapped her body
down next to me. “That was close!” She opened her lunch box, the
very same lunch box that I held on my lap—a pink plastic Barbie
box. Her box didn’t hold items of nourishment though. Instead it
held glittery lip-balms of every flavor imaginable. Grams never had
the extra money to buy me lip balms when I asked each week at the
grocery store. And the girl had an entire lunch box full. We’ve
been friends forever since that day.

***

“You can call me Angel for short,” Angelica
says and pops a piece of pink gum into her mouth.

“You want to hang out sometime?” I ask before
thinking. It seems the natural thing to ask. After all, she is
pretty nice and talkative and stuff.

Angel’s mouth stops mid chew and then she
puckers her lips and her eyes widen. “Sure,” she says, but it drags
on longer than a normal one syllable word. “But, not today because
I’ve got a thing to go to.”

“Yeah, uh, me too.” Blood rushes to my face.
“Maybe another day.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The clock moves slowly. Tick. Three o’clock
can’t get here any sooner. Tock. Only ten long minutes until Autumn
graces Evan with her presence, until he sees her beautiful face
again.

Tick. His hands haven’t stopped shaking,
clammy, and his heart hasn’t rested since Friday night. She lingers
in his dreams, day and night, tantalizing and surreal. Tock. It’s
pretty bad when the pastor at church calls you out as being a
space-case. Caleb won’t let that one go and Evan will probably hear
about it until the end of days.

Evan taps the brake and the car comes to a
stop one block from her house, the perfect vantage point to watch
and wait without seeming stalker-like. Tick. It’s not necessarily
being a stalker when they have a planned date. He’s just
early—eagerly early. It’s not even a date. So really, he shouldn’t
get his hopes up. Tock.

Such a hot girl probably has hundreds of guys
waiting for the opportunity to ask her out. Tick. Maybe she’s
humoring him, or just interested in helping the homeless. Evan can
be persuasive when it comes to volunteer work, when recruiting
people to help others. Tock. That’s probably the only reason she
agreed to this—not to see him.

Evan’s not the only one early. Up ahead, a
beautiful figure emerges from the fog walking alongside her bike.
She walks with long strides through the gate to the yard and drops
her bike against the pole on the front porch.

Evan’s pulse quickens and leaves him
light-headed. If he pulls up to the house now, this early, it might
seem like he’s too eager. He should wait. Maybe even wait ‘til a
few minutes after three.

He holds his breath and releases the brake. A
few minutes early won’t hurt.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

OMG. He’s here. I sneak a peek out the window
next to the door. His hands are stuffed into his front pockets and
he shuffles his feet. Blond hair hangs in his eyes. A shiver races
down my arm before I open the door. “Hey Evan.”