Dreaming Out Loud (11 page)

‘I’ll see her off,’ Jane said. ‘You’d better stay here, Kay.’

‘Why?’

‘Didn’t our new friend say he was coming along to help you put up the tree?’

‘Yes, he did, but we’ll have plenty of time to get back.

‘You, not we,’ Jane said. ‘I’m staying in town to do some shopping. And you never know. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and the tube and the buses will be packed. Goodness knows how long it will take to get to the station and back.’

‘And you don’t want to miss him, do you?’ Shirley added. ‘I mean, if there’s no one in when he calls he might take that as a sign that you’re not interested.’

‘Stop this, you two,’ Kay said. ‘Tom did his good deed for the day and I’m very grateful. That’s all. You’re making far too much of it.’

Kay hated the way the other two exchanged knowing glances. Nevertheless, when morning came, she didn’t object when Shirley and Jane set off to the station without her.

Chapter Ten

The Year’s End

The kitchen door opened and Kay, who was sitting reading by the fire, looked up in surprise. ‘What are you doing here?’

Shirley grinned and put her small suitcase down, then began to take off her coat. ‘I persuaded my mother that it wasn’t fair to leave you on your own at New Year. I must have been convincing, because she took me to the station herself this morning.’

‘But I’m not alone. Jane will be here.’

‘I lied to my mother. Do you think God will forgive me?’

‘Probably not.’

The two of them looked at each other and smiled.

Shirley draped her coat over the back of a chair and went to fill the kettle. ‘I simply must have a cup of tea,’ she said. ‘A very inconsiderate gentleman in our compartment insisted on having one of the windows open. In this weather! No one complained. We just sat there getting sprayed with sooty rain. Very English.’ She quickly looked round the kitchen. ‘Where’s Jane?’

‘She went for a walk.’

‘In the cold and the rain? She must be mad!’

‘Not mad. I think every now and then she needs to be by herself.’

‘Poor old Jane.’

‘And who is taking my name in vain?’

Startled, both girls turned towards the door. Jane stood there carrying a shopping bag.

Shirley was the first to recover. ‘Poor old Jane going out on a night like this. That’s what I meant.’

Kay didn’t know whether Jane believed this feeble explanation, but she put the shopping bag on a chair and said, ‘Warm plates, please. Pop them in the range oven for a minute or two.’ She took a newspaper-wrapped bundle from the bag and laid it on the table. ‘Unless you want to eat your fish and chips straight from yesterday’s news.’

Shirley moaned. ‘Fish and chips! So I’ll have to sit here and watch you two scoffing them!’

‘No, you won’t,’ Jane said. ‘The portions are huge. We can easily share everything between the three of us. So what’s it to be? Plates or paper?’

‘Definitely paper and no knives and forks needed!’ Kay said. ‘Shirley, get the salt and pepper and vinegar out. And Jane, I think you deserve this seat by the fire.’

While they were eating, Shirley regaled them with stories about her family Christmas in Cornwall. The aunts and the uncles, the cousins and the grandparents. Even though she was pleased to be back in London, it was obvious that she had enjoyed herself.

‘And Mum didn’t mention my perm once,’ she said. ‘Well, she didn’t
mention
it but I caught her looking at it every now and then. If she had said anything I was all prepared to tell her that secretaries at the BBC are expected to be up to date and sophisticated; not to say positively glamorous.’

When she had finished, she crumpled up her newspaper wrapping and threw it on the fire. Jane was about to follow her example but Kay stopped her.

‘Wait a minute,’ she told Jane. ‘We don’t want to set the house on fire.’

At these words Jane’s eyes widened in alarm, and despite the heat, Kay could have sworn she shivered. She would have liked to have asked her why she had reacted in this way but decided not to. She sensed Jane would not like it.

When they had filled their cups with hot, strong tea, Shirley suddenly clapped a hand over her mouth. ‘Oh, no,’ she said. ‘Why did you let me rabbit on about Christmas at home like that? Showing off, my mother would call it, and my boss at the BBC would say I was like an actor hogging the limelight. Very much the old thespian, is Julian Fry.’

‘What on earth are you talking about?’ Jane asked. ‘As far as I know you work in a sound studio. There won’t be any limelight to hog.’

‘I know. But he can’t help talking that way. A lot of them can’t. They cut their teeth in the theatre, you see.’ She pretended to slap her forehead. ‘There, you’ve done it again. Somebody shut me up and tell me what Christmas was like for you.’

Kay and Jane looked at each other and smiled. Then ‘Quiet,’ they said in unison.

‘Quiet? You mean you didn’t go anywhere, or do anything interesting?’

‘We ate too much turkey,’ Kay said, ‘and after a couple of days of cold turkey and chips or turkey sandwiches, we threw the remains out for the birds.’

‘They’re little cannibals, aren’t they?’ Shirley said.

‘We had a Christmas pudding,’ Jane added. ‘Bought, not home-made. And apparently this was the first time Kay had ever tasted the shop variety. Her mother always makes them and even managed to during the war.’

‘My mother’s a very good cook,’ Kay said.

This was too much for Shirley. ‘For goodness’ sake. Here you are in the most exciting city in the world and all you did was stuff yourselves with turkey and pudding.’

‘Well, not quite all,’ Kay said and Shirley raised her eyebrows hopefully. ‘Jane bought a games compendium at Hamleys and we played a fierce game of Snakes and Ladders.’

‘And Ludo,’ Jane said. ‘Don’t forget the Ludo.’

Shirley stared at them for a moment and then said, ‘You are teasing me, aren’t you?’

‘Just a little bit,’ Kay replied.

‘So come on, spill the beans!’

‘We went into town and treated ourselves to afternoon tea,’ Kay said.

‘At Fortnum & Mason?’

‘Lyons Corner House.’

Shirley shook her head in mock despair.

‘Then we went to a show.’

‘That’s better,’ Shirley said. ‘
Black Chiffon?
The Lady’s Not For Burning?
’

‘Actually no. We went to see
Puss in Boots
at the Palladium.’

‘Well, it is Christmas,’ Shirley said and she smiled at them. ‘I’m sure you deserve a little bit of frivolity rather than high drama. Go on.’

‘That’s it,’ Kay said. ‘Nothing further to report, ma’am.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ Shirley said.

‘Why ever not?’

‘What about Tom?’

‘What about who?’

‘Tom Masters. Don’t pretend you don’t know who I mean.’

‘What about him?’

‘Didn’t he call round to see you, bearing flowers and chocolates?’

‘No, why should he?’ Kay asked.

Jane must have sensed her discomfort, for she suddenly said, ‘Why don’t we change the subject? In fact, why don’t we stop this idle gossiping and open my nice new bottle of gin?’

Shirley looked at her with interest. ‘I’ve never had gin.’

‘Well, now’s the time to try.’

Jane took two bottles from her shopping bag, one of gin and one of lime juice. She held one of the bottles to her nose and sniffed. ‘Mmm, smells a bit of fish and chips, but that will only be on the outside. Now, where are some decent glasses?’

‘I’ll get them,’ Kay said.

She went to the dining room to get some glasses from the drinks cabinet, knowing full well that they would be talking about her.

Jane would be telling Shirley to stop talking about Tom, and Shirley’s eyes would widen as she nodded sagely. When she returned to the kitchen, Jane made a show of pouring the drinks while she instructed Shirley to slice a lime – which had also come out of her seemingly magic shopping bag.

Kay had never tasted gin and lime – or gin in any form – either, and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She knew her mother treated herself to a gin and tonic now and then, but it always seemed to make her cry.

‘By the way,’ Shirley said, ‘I noticed there were a couple of little parcels under the Christmas tree. Or rather, there were two before I added a couple on the way in.’

‘We decided to wait to open the presents until you returned.’

‘I’m here now,’ Shirley said.

Kay hurried out to get the presents.

A moment later they were all laughing over their identical jars of carnation-scented bath crystals; definitely Woolworths’ best. Then Shirley’s laugh turned into a big yawn. ‘I’ve got to go to bed. And don’t wake me up too early. Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, and remember, Aunt Mamie has invited us to the party at Brook Lodge.’

Jane followed her up and Kay took over the armchair. She stared into the fire for a while then leaned back and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the glowing coals on her face. She sighed. She had been so sure that Tom Masters would call round to see her. Even though they had just met, they had behaved like old friends when they had put up the Christmas tree the day after they had met.

The next morning after seeing Shirley off, Jane had gone to the West End to shop as she had said she would. Alone in the house, Kay couldn’t settle. She found herself waiting for the doorbell, and when it did ring she forced herself to take her time in answering it.

‘I’m here to help with the tree as I promised,’ Tom said. ‘And it’s all right. You don’t have to feed me.’ He held up a carrier bag that was bulging with intriguing-looking paper parcels. They went through to the kitchen, where he set the bag on the table but refused to divulge its contents. ‘Right, let’s start on the tree.’

Tom hung up his coat on the hallstand and Kay got the tree decorations from the dining room, where she had put them rather than take them upstairs again. She set the large box down on the chair near the telephone table and Tom looked inside.

‘They’re lovely,’ he said. ‘Some of those glass baubles must have been expensive.’ He looked at her enquiringly.

‘I didn’t buy them,’ Kay assured him. ‘I inherited them, or rather, they came with the house.’

‘Oh?’

‘My godmother lived here. She rented it, but in her will she left all her personal possessions to me.’

‘Lucky you.’

Tom smiled at her but she had the uneasy feeling that somehow he had made her give him that information. Not that it mattered, she told herself. Her moment of discomfort passed and they began to dress the tree, Tom placing decorations on the higher branches easily. Soon all that was left was the golden-haired angel.

‘You’d better let me do that,’ Tom said and he held out his hand.

‘No,’ Kay said. ‘I’m going to put the angel on.’

‘You’re not quite tall enough. Unless you’re going to stand on that chair.’

‘I don’t need the chair.’

‘Do you want me to lift you up?’ He looked as though he was keen on the idea.

‘No.’ Taking the angel, Kay ran up the stairs until she could lean over the bannister and position the angel in her rightful place. ‘See?’ she said.

Tom grinned. ‘Well done. Now let’s eat. I’m starving.’

They were laughing as they went into the kitchen and their happy mood continued as Tom emptied the carrier bag. He had brought crusty rolls, Brussels pâté, cheese, two slices of cheesecake and a bottle of red wine. Kay got plates and knives, then hurried through into the dining room to get some proper wine glasses. When she got back to the kitchen she saw that Tom had found the corkscrew in the knife drawer and was waiting to pour the wine.

As they enjoyed their feast they talked. Kay did most of the talking. Tom seemed to know how to draw people out, and, after hesitating at first, she soon found herself telling him a little about her background and why she had come to London. He seemed to be interested in her friends, too. She had to restrain herself from telling him too much about their private lives. He hadn’t seemed to notice when she held back, and she decided he was simply being friendly.

When he said it was time for him to go as he had shopping to do, he seemed to be as disappointed as she was. It was only later that she realised she knew very little about him, except that he had been in the army during the war. She had no idea what his job was and she had decided to ask him next time he called. When he left he hadn’t exactly said he would call again, or better still, ask her to go out with him, but she had been sure she would see him again very soon. She was wrong – or was she?

Once when she went to the High Street to do some shopping she thought she had glimpsed him hurrying towards her. She had her smile all ready, but a moment later he had vanished. Another time something had made her turn round just before she boarded the tube and she was sure the tall man surrounded by the surging crowd had been Tom. He must have seen her, but he didn’t smile or wave, or attempt to catch up with her.
Perhaps I’m seeing things
, she thought, and the door swished shut before she had time to find out if the man she had seen was really Tom.

Before she fell asleep she berated herself for behaving like a schoolgirl with a crush. But that was exactly what it was – a serious crush.
Stupid woman
, she told herself.
He did his good deed when he helped you home with the Christmas tree, he enjoyed a bit of female attention from the three of us, and then he was probably disappointed the next day to find Jane and Shirley weren’t here. So what should I do now? Forget about him, of course. There’s nothing else I can do.

Mamie’s full-length maroon chiffon dress had a square neckline and shoulder pads. Kay thought it would have been fashionable during the war. Kay looked around at the other guests. Most of them were friends and neighbours of Mamie’s, but there was a sprinkling of residents who looked surprised to be there. Probably most of them would rather have been at home than marooned in a guest house in Wood Green, for whatever reason, on New Year’s Eve.

All of the women present were dressed a trifle formally. Most of the men were wearing lounge suits, although at least two of them wore dinner jackets. Shirley had warned Kay and Jane that they must be smart, and they had done their best. Shirley herself was wearing a jade-green figure-hugging dress of fine worsted jersey.

‘This is to go with my new sophisticated look,’ she had told Kay and Jane.

Kay wore a shiny full-skirted dress in red taffeta. When she had bought it the day she went shopping to cheer herself up, she had been shocked to find herself attracted to something so bold. Not having had much experience in buying expensive clothes, she had relied on the sales assistant to guide her. She was assured that red and blue were still the colours of the year. It had crossed her mind that there wasn’t much of the year left, but by then the dress was being tissue-wrapped and packaged, ready for her to take home.

Shirley and Jane had told her she looked stunning. ‘A proper Scarlett O’Hara,’ Shirley said. ‘Without the décolleté. That Peter Pan collar is just modest enough to take away the impression of a temptress.’