Dreams to Sell (15 page)

Reaching into the glove pocket, Jamie produced a guide book and, flicking over the pages, found what he was looking for.

‘See, this is it – Blackness. It's a little village about five miles from South Queensferry, but it has an ancient castle, a fortress that I'd really like to see. Have you been there?'

‘No, but I know about it.' Roz studied the picture of the castle, an ancient-looking building perched on a promontory over the sea. ‘The castle's the main place of interest there, I think, but you won't be able to go round it now.'

‘Oh, I know, but we can look at the outside, walk by the sea, have a drink at the pub. And there is a pub. What do you say?'

‘I say yes, please.' Roz sat back in her seat, sighing with pleasure, as Jamie switched on the car's engine. ‘It's so nice, I just want to drive out anywhere.'

‘With me?'

‘With you.'

Dominated by the massive Forth railway bridge, looking splendid in the evening sunshine, South Queensferry was full of visitors strolling round, or sitting on benches outside the pubs and cafés, almost tempting Jamie to stop.

‘Looks so inviting, eh? But Blackness it is, and I guess it won't be so crowded.'

‘And less likely to have folk from Tarrel's visiting,' Roz remarked. ‘Remember, we don't want to see them, do we?'

‘You mean we don't want them to see us. But stop worrying about people from work, Roz. We're out together, on our own, we're free! And in our own transport. There's nothing to worry about.'

‘Sorry, I won't mention them again.' Roz gave another contented sigh. ‘You know, I can't believe I'm really here. Bowling along to Blackness – it's just so different from what I usually do. I feel I must be dreaming.'

‘Better get used to driving out with me, Roz, for that's what you'll usually be doing now, in your time off, anyway. Now, let me check the map – with only five miles to go from Queensferry, we'll soon be there.'

Blackness village turned out to be very small – just a few houses, a harbour, a pub, a boat club, and, some way away from the nearest house, the castle. A long, narrow, brooding edifice, described in Jamie's guidebook as a ‘ship that never sailed' because of its shape, it was certainly the dominant feature of the village and as dramatic as he had expected.

‘Wish we could have got to look round it,' he murmured as they stood as close as they could to its entrance gates. ‘It's just how you imagine a castle to be, a proper fortress, eh? And there must be wonderful views of the bay from that promontory.'

‘It might have been a fortress, but I seem to remember hearing it was damaged by Oliver Cromwell,' said Roz. ‘Seemingly, he damaged an awful lot of places when he invaded Scotland.'

‘One of the ruins Cromwell knocked about a bit, eh?' Jamie laughed. ‘According to my book, it's been everything – a residence, a prison, an armament store – but it's been repaired and people can look round it now so I'll have to come back for another visit. For now, though, let's walk a bit, shall we?'

It was very pleasant, strolling beside the sea wall, looking out on the wide expanse of the bay where a few sailing boats were moving through the evening calm, and though they were not alone, Roz and Jamie saw no one they knew and walked together naturally, arm in arm.

‘Fancy a drink?' asked Jamie as they reached the pub. ‘We can sit outside, if you like.'

‘I wouldn't mind a lemonade.'

‘I'd better have the same, seeing as I'm driving.' Jamie looked back to where he'd parked the car. ‘Hope it's all right. I'm already beginning to worry someone might steal it.'

‘Why, you locked it!'

‘Ah, but you don't know how car thieves operate. They've got all sorts of tricks. Come on, let's have that drink.'

‘And get back to the car?' asked Roz, amused.

‘Now I didn't say that!' he protested.

All the same, they didn't linger over their drinks and, as no car thief had tried any tricks on the Austin, were soon back in their seats and driving away.

‘This countryside's so lovely,' Jamie commented. ‘Why don't we just drive round a bit?'

Drive round and stop was what he actually meant, for when he found a little lane leading nowhere, with only a distant view of the Forth Bridge to remind them of where they were, he drew up and turned his eyes on Roz.

‘Want a driving lesson?' he asked cheerfully.

A driving lesson? It was the last thing she'd expected.

‘Maybe not now,' she answered cautiously. ‘It's getting late.'

‘Nonsense, it's as light as day!'

‘But I'd need a licence, wouldn't I? Some sort of provisional thing?'

‘Yes, I suppose you would. All right, another time, then.' He took her hand. ‘It wasn't my first reason for stopping the car, anyway – to give you a driving lesson, I mean.'

‘No?'

‘Come on, you're teasing. You know I want to kiss you again. You want me to, don't you?'

To answer, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, at which he dropped her hand and took her into his arms.

‘Oh, Roz! You don't know what it's been like, waiting to do this!'

‘As a matter of fact, I do,' she whispered. ‘I've been waiting too.'

For some time, they held each other, kissing more and more passionately, until both drew back, breathing hard and gazing into each other's eyes.

Then Jamie gently touched Roz's face. ‘Suppose I'd better take you back?'

She said nothing, only let him see, from the look in her grey eyes, how little she wanted to go.

‘Only bright spot, Roz, is that we see each other tomorrow. That gets me through.'

‘I don't know, I find it a bit of a strain – being together yet having to be so careful.'

‘That's because you worry too much. I don't worry – I hope for the best.'

‘I do worry. It's the way I am.'

‘Well, just try to think the way they did in the war.' He kissed her quickly. ‘You remember the slogan? “Don't worry, it may never happen”? It's very important to keep that in mind. Now, we'd better be on our way.'

When Jamie parked outside the flat in Deller Street, Roz asked a little hesitantly if he'd like to come in to meet her mother and sister, as they'd be back from the café by now. She'd no idea what he would say, yet was still surprised when he, too, was hesitant.

‘I'd like to meet them, of course, but, I wonder … would it be better another time?'

‘Another time?' She tried not to sound cool. ‘All right, if you prefer it. I just wanted them to meet you, to see why I want to be with you.'

‘I see. Oh, well, then, tonight's the night. Yes, I'd like to meet them, Roz. Lead on.'

He took her hand, seemingly agreeable, yet it seemed to her he was still unwilling and she couldn't help wondering why. Did he think she was treating him already as a prospective fiancé? That wasn't true. She was sure he and she were the same, overcome by sudden love, not even thinking where it might lead. Just enjoying for the moment what they had.

‘This way,' she told him. ‘We're on the first floor. And they are home – I can hear their voices.'

Flo and Chrissie, not long back from the café, were sitting in the warmth of the evening, their shoes off, the window open, both pleasantly relaxing, until Roz's call had them looking towards the door.

‘Roz! Is that you?' cried Flo.

‘It's me, Ma, and I've brought someone to see you, just for a minute.'

‘Oh, no, a visitor? Where are my shoes?'

As Flo scrabbled for her shoes and Chrissie slid into hers, Jamie stood in the doorway and Roz took his arm.

‘Ma – Chrissie – this is Jamie Shield, from Tarrel's. Jamie, this is my mother and my sister, Chrissie. Ma, you got my note, eh?'

‘Note – oh, yes.' Flo, having put on her shoes, was standing up and staring at Jamie, who was smiling endearingly and stretching out his hand.

‘I'm very glad to meet you, Mrs Rainey, and Chrissie – if I may call you that?'

‘Oh, yes, that's fine,' said Chrissie, her surprised gaze going over his face. ‘Very pleased to meet you, Mr Shield – Jamie.'

‘Very pleased,' echoed Flo, as she and Chrissie shook Jamie's hand. ‘So you've been out this evening? Such good weather, eh?'

‘We've been to Blackness, Ma, in Jamie's car. He's just got it and it's lovely.'

‘Blackness? Fancy.' Flo put her hand to her hair in a distracted fashion. ‘Would you like a cup o' tea, then? Chrissie – the kettle—'

‘Thank you very much, Mrs Rainey, but I won't stay,' answered Jamie. ‘It seemed a good opportunity to look in, but I won't disturb you. I know you're just back from work. So nice to meet you both, though.'

‘And you,' Chrissie said politely. ‘Heard such a lot about you.'

‘Oh, dear, hope it wasn't too bad?'

‘All flattering,' Roz told him with determined cheerfulness. ‘I'll just show you out, then? Sorry it was just a flying visit, Ma, but like Jamie said, it just seemed a good opportunity.'

‘It was grand to meet you, Jamie,' Flo said, seeming to have recovered some poise. ‘Very nice of you to call in. Maybe you'll come again?'

‘Thank you, Mrs Rainey, I'd like that. Goodnight, then. And goodnight, Chrissie.' Slightly bowing his head, Jamie gave a final smile and followed Roz from the room, leaving Flo and Chrissie to collapse back into their chairs.

‘I'm afraid we caught them on the hop,' Roz murmured as she and Jamie reached the car.

‘I rather thought we might, you know.'

Though he'd acquitted himself well meeting her mother and Chrissie, it seemed to Roz, studying him in the light that was just fading, that he was strangely ill at ease. Again, she was puzzled, but there was no way she could question him and, as he moved to kiss her goodnight, she thought perhaps she was just being overly sensitive, imagining something that wasn't there. And when the kiss came she could think of nothing else anyway.

‘Another lovely evening,' she whispered, releasing herself from his arms. ‘So special to be with you, Jamie.'

‘With my special car?'

‘With or without your car.'

‘Well, this is the bit I don't like, saying goodnight. Who said parting is such sweet sorrow? There's no sweetness in it, as far as I can tell. Goodnight, darling Roz. See you tomorrow.'

‘Better not call me darling. It might slip out at work.'

‘Worrying again?' He shook his head at her. ‘You know I'm a very careful guy.'

He was relaxing, becoming more his usual self, and as he took his seat at the wheel, blew kisses at her until the engine started and he was on his way.

‘Goodnight!' she called. Darling Jamie … She could be careful, too.

‘Well, that was a surprise!' cried Flo, when Roz came into the living room. ‘I'd no idea you'd be bringing your young man home with you!'

‘I'm not exactly calling him my young man, but I wanted you to meet him. You and Chrissie.' Roz glanced swiftly at her sister. ‘What did you think of him, then?'

‘Very nice,' Flo answered at once. ‘Very open, good-natured face, and a lovely smile. I liked him.'

‘I did, too,' said Chrissie. ‘I thought he was sweet.' She paused for a moment. ‘Reckon you'd be safe with him.'

‘Safe?'

‘I mean, he'd look after you. I can tell, he's the sort.'

‘But I don't need looking after!' Roz was smiling, but her eyes on Chrissie were watchful. ‘Is Richard that sort, then?' she asked. ‘To look after you?'

‘Of course he is!' Flo cut in. ‘You can rely on Richard. Isn't that right, Chrissie?'

‘Sure it is. You've no need to ask.' Chrissie yawned and stretched. ‘Roz, how about you making us two poor tired souls a cuppa, then?'

‘That's the ticket,' said Flo, striking a match to light a cigarette. ‘But what a shame Jamie couldn't stay, eh? I hope he does come to see us again.'

‘See no reason why he shouldn't,' Roz replied, making the familiar trek to the kettle.

With August came the festival, and as crowds of visitors, many of them foreign, filled the streets in amazingly good weather, Roz drank in the atmosphere as never before. She felt so full of high spirits it was as though she was part of the programme, though she didn't even have tickets to any operas, concerts, or ballets – and in fact had never taken much interest in the previous two festivals, believing she couldn't afford anything anyway.

So what was different? Jamie, of course! He made the difference. Being in love made the difference. Everything seemed in sharper focus and brighter colours because of him, because of their love, and though she couldn't be with him when she moved through the streets in her lunch hour, or going home after work, the thought of him added to all that she could see and feel. Even if, she had to admit, just lately he could sometimes seem mysteriously to be a little ‘down'.

They tried as often as they could to be together, but it wasn't easy. Their evening or Sunday drives always had to be out of Edinburgh to places they thought their colleagues wouldn't go, and though Roz was just glad to be with Jamie at all, she knew he found it irksome. And sometimes, when they were out and she'd been looking away, she would look back to see his eyes fixed on her and find in them something she couldn't quite understand. Regret? Sadness? All she could be sure of was that when her eyes were on him she only ever felt happy.

One morning he came into her office, his more usual cheerful self and, seating himself on her desk, asked her about the festival that she'd been enjoying so much without actually attending.

‘Have you really never gone to anything at the festivals, Roz? That's a shame, if they were anything like this one – there's some marvellous stuff on.'