Dropped Third Strike (Portland Pioneers #1) (13 page)

Katie probably should have been nervous, self-conscious, or scared. This was the first time she’d ever been naked with a man, and as she watched him fumble a bit with the condom, she realized he was about to be inside her. But she didn’t experience even a hint of trepidation. The passion Reid had ignited drowned out any negative emotions that might have tried to surface.

When he returned to her, she eagerly pulled him close, desperately wanting to feel his skin against hers. Reid seemed to want it just as badly. He wasted no time settling between her legs, and her body seemed to be a perfect fit for his. She experienced only a fleeting moment of discomfort as he eased into her. Reid gave her a few seconds to adjust before he slid out and then back in. At first, she just lay there, unsure of what to do, but then he whispered for her to move with him and she instinctively lifted her hips against his. He groaned in response, which encouraged her to match his rhythm. As their pace went from slow and easy to hot and frantic, she pressed her fingers into his muscled back and let out soft cries mingled with his name.

Between kisses, she looked up into his eyes, noticing that they looked darker than usual. In the soft light from her small lamp, she thought she saw a little green in them, but then his eyes were closed again and her study of him was forgotten as her body began to tremble uncontrollably. She’d never been here before, but she was pretty sure she was on track for something really amazing. Her eyes opened wide and she arched her back as the most decadent sensations coursed through her until she finally came undone. He wasn’t far behind, and she thought she could still feel his body shaking as he collapsed on top of her and then beside her.

When their bodies were still again, they lay there for several moments, silent except for their ragged breathing. Katie could hear her heart pounding, and it seemed so loud she wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it too. As her mind cleared and her thoughts returned, she remembered Casey and immediately felt guilty.

How could I do this? Casey has been good to me. He’s waited months for me. And for what? So I could completely forget about him and give my virginity to someone else? A guy I haven’t spoken to in almost two years?

Katie turned her head and looked at the guilty party. Well, the other guilty party. His face was relaxed in sleep. The only movement was the gentle flutter of his closed eyelids. She watched him for a moment, trying to figure out how he’d managed to get to her like this. In the span of a few short hours, he’d somehow made her forget his post-prom actions, her boyfriend, and her long-held desire to wait for the right moment and person – and there was no reason for her to believe Reid was that person. Her mind was a mess of thoughts and emotions, and he was sleeping like nothing in the world had changed.

She woke him up a short while later and sent him home. Her parents were cool, but they wouldn’t be too thrilled to discover Reid had spent the night. Katie bit her lip and watched him as he dressed. She wanted to ask him all the questions swirling in her brain, but she didn’t. She simply pulled on a robe, walked him to the door, and said goodnight.

Later the next day, Katie made one of the toughest phone calls of her young life. Her heart was heavy with guilt as she told Casey her feelings for him had changed. She blamed the distance and having a lot of time to think. She didn’t burden him with any further information. He was crushed enough. He didn’t need to know about Reid. It wouldn’t do him any good. She hated herself as she hung up. She had always thought people who broke up over the phone were cowards, but in this case, it couldn’t be helped. She had no way to get to Chicago to see him face-to-face, and she couldn’t delay the break-up until September.

Her guilt lingered, but it seemed to go away whenever she was with Reid. Which was a lot. Over the next few months, they were together several nights a week. Sometimes they would go to the ballpark, but more often than not, they spent their evenings in her basement bedroom. On those nights, they didn’t even pretend they were going to watch movies. They never really discussed why any of it was happening; they just got lost in each other.

Katie didn’t have any problem with that arrangement. But as the summer was coming to a close, and Reid was getting ready to return to Durham, she knew they needed to have that dreaded conversation. She asked him about a long distance relationship.

“I don’t like labels, but I also don’t want to lose you,” Reid told her, touching her cheek in a way that made her weak in the knees every time. “Let’s stay in touch and see what happens.”

So she settled for phone calls and texts, where they talked about their daily lives and planned future visits. In the fall, she went to North Carolina every month. His schedule didn’t allow him time to get away, but she was happy to travel to him. It cost her nearly every extra dime she’d earned at her summer job, but she kept telling herself it was worth it. And when she was with Reid, it felt worth it. The distance was getting tougher though, and even though she tried pretending she was okay with it all, she wasn’t. And by December, it was starting to show.

“What is wrong with you?”

Katie looked up at her roommate, Jill. They had met freshman year, bonding over mutual disgust for their roommates at the time. By the end of the year, they were best friends and had lived together ever since, first in the dorms, now in an apartment, which was surprisingly cheaper than campus life. Jill was an education major and was still dating her high school sweetheart, who was at college in Alabama. Jill was the only one who knew about Katie’s summer affair, and although she told Katie she was surprised, she didn’t judge her. She’d been very supportive of Katie and Reid’s long distance relationship, even though she had yet to meet the guy.

At the moment, the girls were taking a break from studying for finals and watching
A Walk To Remember
.

“You have never been the kind of girl who stares at her phone all day?” she asked. “It’s like you’re not even noticing Shane West is on the screen. You picked out this movie because you said he’s your favorite.”

“He is,” Katie said. “And I’m not that kind of girl, but I haven’t heard from Reid all week.”

“I’m sure he’s just busy,” Jill said. “That happens with Nick and me sometimes. Guys lose track of how many days go by between calls.”

“Reid’s not like that though,” Katie replied defensively. “He always calls at least twice a week.”

“Well, maybe something came up this week,” Jill said, shrugging. “And you were just with him last weekend, so maybe he had a lot to catch up on.”

“Yeah, like another girl,” Katie said.

“Okay, now I know this isn’t you,” Jill said. “You were never insecure with Casey. Come on, Katie. Give Reid a little bit of credit. And a little more time. If you say he always calls, then he’ll call.”

Katie shrugged and pushed her phone aside, attempting to focus on the movie. But her thoughts wouldn’t leave her alone. She wasn’t sure why she was so worried about Reid cheating on her. Maybe it was because of what she’d done with him over the summer. She still felt guilty for her actions, and she wondered if that feeling would ever go away. For the rest of the weekend, she went over and over it in her head and finally convinced herself that her own misconduct was the reason she was so insecure about Reid.

Those feelings floated away when he finally did call Sunday night. Hearing his voice changed her mood from nervous to happy. But her relief lasted only for a few moments after she answered. As they exchanged stories about their week, she noticed a difference in his voice. She finally asked him if he was tired.

“Yeah, a little,” he said. “But, Katie, I’ve been thinking...”

Her heart sank a little. Those words never led to something good.

“I don’t think this distance is working for me,” he continued. “You deserve so much better, and I just can’t give it to you right now.”

“Why don’t you let me decide what I deserve?” Katie pleaded.

“Because I care too much about you,” Reid said. “My life’s busy now, and it’s only going to get worse when baseball season comes around. And you have a lot of things you need to do. You can’t be flying out to see me all the time. It’s just not right.”

“I guess you have a point,” Katie said. “Is this what you really want?”

“No, but I think it’s what’s best for both of us right now,” Reid said.

“It’s pretty arrogant of you to think you know what’s best for me,” Katie said. “But clearly, you’ve already made up your mind, so I guess this is it.”

“I’m sorry, Katie,” Reid said. “I’m really sorry.”

He hung up, and she stared at her phone, which flashed with the time of the call. They had only been on the phone for ten minutes – their shortest conversation ever – but it’d been long enough to break her heart.

She set the phone down beside her on the bed. Lying on her back, she just stared at the ceiling until it became blurry. Finals were a bit of a blur too, but somehow she survived all of them. Returning home for Christmas break, she offered only vague answers when her parents asked about Reid until they eventually stopped asking. She felt foolish, hurt, and embarrassed, and she didn’t want anyone to know the truth about what had happened.

It still made Kate angry – among other things – to think about that time in her life.

She’d given Reid a second chance. He’d taken her virginity and broken her heart. That’s when she learned that second chances only brought pain.

Okay, so that wasn’t completely true.

She couldn’t deny that Reid had given her plenty of pleasure as well. First times were supposed to be awkward, but it wasn’t with him. And it only got better after that. Those nights were some of the most blissful she’d ever experienced. He had set the bar very high, and she wasn’t sure if it was just because he was first or if he was really that good. But of all the men she’d been with since then, none compared to Reid.

No one had ever hurt her like he had either. She’d cried for days, wallowed for weeks, and stayed bitter for months. The college break-up felt like repeat of the post-prom avoidance. And then some. It seemed each heartbreak at his hands took a little longer to remedy. Clearly, with Reid, she couldn’t have that kind of pleasure without equal parts pain.

And that wasn’t a price she was prepared to pay again. Keeping distance between them was best.

Chapter Five

Reid’s resolve broke first.

After two weeks of glancing at the administrative elevators on his way to the cages, he finally gave in and went up to the general manager’s office. Kate’s secretary said she was on the phone, so he agreed to wait even though there was no promise of when she might be free. He wasn’t in any hurry.

His batting appointments had begun dwindling as the players took advantage of their few last days with family before heading to Arizona. The slowdown had given Reid a little more time to get settled. He’d unpacked and purchased some furniture. Only the basics though. A bedroom set, a couch, a coffee table, and a TV would get him by. At the moment, his TV was only hooked up to a Blu-ray player. He figured there was no need to get cable until he got back from spring training. If at all. He probably wouldn’t need it. Once the season was in full swing, he didn’t expect to spend a lot of time at the house except for sleep. On the occasions he was home, awake, and not working, he figured he could find other forms of entertainment.

He hadn’t yet explored the Portland nightlife scene. It wasn’t likely to be as lively as New York’s, but he was certain he could find some women to keep him company. His affinity for female companionship probably made him look like a womanizer to outsiders, but that was an unfair assumption. He worked in a male-dominated profession. He spent countless hours with other men, so he preferred to spend his precious free time in the company of the fairer sex. Their softness and sensuality helped provide balance in his life. And, even though it didn’t appear to be the case, he was actually quite picky about the type of women he dated. Sure, they were all attractive, but he was also drawn to the strong, independent type. Uncovering their softer side was always thrilling, and they rarely asked more of him than he was willing to give.

Lately, he’d been thinking a lot about the days when Kate had kept him company. Or rather the nights. Admittedly, he mostly only recalled the physical aspect of their relationship. He’d tried to remember other things but failed, and that made him wonder if there had been anything else. Surely, there had been. Kate wouldn’t have been with him if there wasn’t something more. But he couldn’t drum up many memories of her in which she wasn’t naked. Attention to unpleasant events and conversations had never been one of his strengths, and apparently he had blocked out any bad that had happened between them. Kate seemed to have done the opposite.

After 20 minutes of waiting, Reid was granted entrance to Kate’s office. She was seated on the couch with her laptop in front of her, dressed in jeans and a button-down blouse in deep purple. Even with the formal top, it was the most casual he’d seen her look since he’d arrived in Portland. The Kate before him was a stark contrast from the Kate he’d seen at Fan Fest and the cocktail event, but she looked as good as ever.

“What can I do for you, Reid?” she asked, without looking up from the computer screen.

“I was hoping you might join me for lunch,” he said.

She looked up and just stared at him for a moment. He couldn’t read her expression, but her response didn’t surprise him.

“I’ll have to pass,” she said. “I don’t have time for lunch today.”

“You work too hard,” he said. “Then again, you always have.”

“I have to work hard, Reid,” she said. “This business is tough. And being a woman in this business is even tougher.”

He wondered why she chose to go on the defensive instead of accepting his compliment. He took another swing at turning the conversation around.

“Probably true, but you’re not just any woman; you’re Katie ... sorry, Kate Marks,” he said. “You don’t have to work as hard at this as the average woman would.”

“I appreciate the kind words, but I disagree,” she said. “I do have to work hard. And I don’t mind it one bit. I love my job.”

“That’s great, but I hope someday you love more than that,” he said.

“Are you really giving me advice on priorities?” she asked. “You?”

He sighed. He hadn’t meant for this to become another confrontation between them. It seemed they couldn’t have a regular conversation without the tension rising.

“Is this going to happen every time we talk?” he asked.

“What?” she asked.

“Me making a harmless comment and you getting upset with me,” Reid said. “Look, Kate, I’m sorry if I did something to you in our past that makes you hate me, but we’re working together now, and I want us to be friends again. I don’t want these arguments to get in the way of that. What can I do to make you hate me less?”

“I don’t hate you, Reid,” she said. “You wouldn’t be standing in my office right now if I hated you.”

“But you don’t think much of me either, do you?”

“I think you’re a gifted athlete with a lot to offer as a coach.”

“Is that all?”

“That’s all that matters to me.”

It was Reid’s turn to stare blankly. He’d lost the respect of a lot of people in recent years. Adding Kate to the list shouldn’t have affected him. But it did.

“Wow. Okay then. Sorry I bothered,” he said. “See you in Arizona.”

Kate saw the hurt flicker in his eyes before he turned to go. She sighed as the door closed behind him.

When her secretary told her he was there to see her, she’d braced herself for his presence. Even though she hadn’t seen him in more than two weeks, his invasion of her mind and dreams had been enough to rattle her. And put her on the defensive, apparently. She couldn’t hear his words for what they were. Her comprehension remained clouded by her past experiences with him. Or rather her past vulnerability to him. She was determined not to let him get close to her again. For her, the only way to do that was to start pushing him away the minute he walked in. And that wasn’t as easy to do as she made it look. Her anger with him had resurfaced upon his return, but the resulting dreams had reignited her attraction to him. The polarizing feelings made her head hurt sometimes, and she had a history of giving into attraction when it came to Reid. She couldn’t let that happen now. When he asked about lunch, she had to turn him down even though she was hungry and this was one of her lighter days at work. She had resolved not to spend any unnecessary one-on-one time with him. It was the only way to combat those eyes, that mouth, that body, and how good they all looked up close. Not to mention how good he was at using that mouth and body on her. The thought alone made her shiver, and she blinked a few times, trying to clear her mind.

It didn’t work.

She got up to walk around her office. Her stomach growled, and she was glad it waited until Reid was gone or he might have insisted on her taking a lunch break. Instead, she had her secretary order takeout from her usual place and sat back down on the couch with her laptop. She had a few more personnel items to take care of and then she needed to finalize her travel plans for Arizona. It was time to work.

That was Kate’s mantra over the next few weeks, and there was plenty of work to be done as the team got ready for the season. She needed to stay focused.

This was especially necessary every time she walked through the practice fields and spotted Reid working with the players. She paused to watch him a few times, noticing his patient, easy approach. He seemed really comfortable as he worked on hitting drills and watched batters swing. The younger men listened eagerly when Reid stepped in to talk to them about each part of their swing to correct or tweak it. Once, Reid looked up to find her watching. She expected him to call out to her or give her a smile, but he merely nodded. She nodded back and continued on to the next field to check out the pitchers.

Reid was aware of Kate’s presence every time she walked through the practice fields. It took all of his will not to acknowledge her. But one day he couldn’t help himself, and he looked up to find her watching him work. He couldn’t read her expression, and he remained puzzled as she turned to go without saying a word. He watched as she walked away. For longer than he intended to.

“Hey Coach B, you like Miss Marks?”

Reid turned to find Carson Slater watching him with an amused smile. He’d enjoyed the opportunity to reunite with the young catcher. While the kid was a little rusty with the bat after so much time away from the game, he’d made some progress in the last few weeks. But bat speed wasn’t exactly on Carson’s mind at the moment. It wasn’t on Reid’s either, and apparently he hadn’t done a good job of hiding it.

“She’s my boss,” Reid said, trying to shrug it off.

“Yeah, but it looks like you’d like to be her boss, if you know what I mean,” Carson said.

“If that’s supposed to be suggestive, it’s terrible,” Reid said. “I hope you’re better at calling a game than you are at dirty talk. And I feel sorry for your wife.”

“My wife has no complaints,” Carson said, confidently.

“Good, now let’s make sure your manager doesn’t have any either. Back to hitting,” Reid said.

“Fine,” Carson said, settling back into his batting stance. “But you should be doing some hitting of your own this season.”

Reid rolled his eyes but didn’t offer any verbal response to Carson’s challenge. Fortunately, he didn’t give Reid any more trouble.

They both knew Carson didn’t have time to be messing around. The season was just weeks away, and the young catcher needed every bit of that time if he was going to be ready to take pitches in his first ever major league baseball game. Reid was nervous and excited for Carson. A major league debut was a once-in-a-lifetime event. If Carson was like every other player Reid had encountered, he knew Carson had dreamed about that day. Reid wanted to make sure he was well-prepared for a debut worth remembering.

After giving Carson some things to work on, Reid moved on to the other players awaiting his help. Opening Day wasn’t too far down the road, and he hoped his players were ready for it. So far, he felt like he was doing a good job, and no one was telling him any different, so he was going with it. The players were listening to him and making the adjustments he suggested. Sometimes those adjustments worked right away. Other times, he had to talk the players into sticking with it, telling them it would take more time for it to click.

His days were always busy, and they were about to get longer with spring training games about to begin. As it was, when he returned to his hotel room each night, he was too exhausted to do much more than order in food and watch a movie or college basketball. In spring trainings past, he regularly hit the bars and clubs, but even if he wasn’t being mindful of the clause in his contract, he didn’t have the energy now. He had vastly underestimated the amount of work his coaches had done when he was a player. He made a mental note to make sure to say some extra thanks next time he saw some of them.

Reid thought a lot about his old teammates and coaches these days. It was strange leading spring training drills and workouts instead of participating in them. At times, he longed to participate. He missed the feel of a good run, the smack talk in the batting cages, and a full day of fielding drills. He missed feeling completely worn out after a long day at the fields. It was a different kind of tired than what he was feeling now. He was proud of his role as a coach, but it didn’t give him the same sense of exhilaration and accomplishment. He suspected that might come in time, but he doubted he’d ever get over his desire to be on the field again. Even though he was committed to his responsibilities as a hitting coach, he hoped it was a temporary stop en route back to playing.

He also hoped this year would help him work through some of the things that had taken him off of his game.

Athletically, he worked out every morning. Long before his players were even out of bed, Reid was already at the field. He ran laps, lifted weights, and took some swings in the cage with a pitching machine. There wasn’t much he could do to test his fielding skills, but he tried to take every measure possible to keep his body in top physical form. Or rather get it back there. At the close of the most recent season, he’d taken some time off. A lot of time. Too much time. Instead of working out, he’d been going out. Getting released might have been the wake up call he needed to get serious again. He sought additional motivation as he watched young players every day who were working hard and were more than happy to be playing in the league he’d been in only months earlier.

Personally, he’d also made some significant lifestyle changes. Since his release, he had slowed down on the alcohol considerably. And the women, too. He’d met a few beauties in Arizona who gave him a nighttime workout, but the frequency was far lower than usual for him. At first, that hadn’t been intentional. He simply hadn’t had the time or energy for either. Fortunately, that meant he hadn’t had time to miss them either. The players he coached were all the company he needed right now. As long as he stayed busy, he could stay focused on doing what he needed to do to get back on track and get his life back on the path he’d charted out years earlier.

One evening, as he was leaving the fields, already thinking about the pizza he was going to order, he heard someone calling his name. He turned to see Derek Beaman running toward him. Derek was a pitcher, and since American League pitchers only took a few at bats a season, Reid hadn’t had a chance to work with him just yet, but he knew who the kid was.