DUBIOUS (15 page)

* * *

When we arrived back at Kelvin’s house, I wasn’t ready to get out the truck. I needed another drink if I was going to continue with the story. Kelvin followed my lead when I got out of the truck. He opened the door, and I headed straight to the bar, pouring myself a double before even asking if he wanted one.

I carried the bottle with me to the sofa bed. “Things went from bad to worst. As much as I hated working for the white man, I hated school even more. I had forgotten all those sleepless nights from studying, and those God forsaken tests.”

“
That’s because you and Felicia always studied together.”

“
I know, but I didn’t realize that shit either until I had to crack them books open on my own. Without her doing it with me, I wasn’t motivated. Instead of taking three years, it took six.”

“
Going back to school after a break ain’t no joke,” he said shaking his head.

“
Tell me about. I got lazy and started blaming her because of my poor performance.”

“
Give me some of that, negro, before you pass the fuck out.”

I gave the bottle up since my head was beginning to spin. “The day she made partner should have been the happiest day of our lives, but I was jealous. The firm was having this big dinner party in her honor, and I could not even force myself to attend. I stood her up on the biggest night of her life.” I hated myself for doing that to Felicia.

He shook his head. “Aw, man, I’ll bet she was pissed.”

“
That’s just it, dawg, she didn’t say a word. I told her that I had a test to study for and she said that was more important.”

“
Damn, you didn’t marry a woman you married a saint.”

“
Yeah, and I fucking failed the test. I thought she was going to rub my nose in that shit but she didn’t.”

“
What did she do?”

“
She sat me down and we had our first honest discussion since the first day we met. I told her how scared I was of being a failure in her eyes. I told her that I didn’t want to be an accountant and that I was just wasting my time and her money.”

“
I’ll bet that went over well.” He took a long pull at his drink then passed the bottle back to me.

I took it and poured another shot into my empty glass. Leaning back on the sofa, I closed my eyes and relived that night. The painful pictures danced before my eyes. “I accused her of stealing my joy and forcing me to live a life that I didn’t want. I blamed her for my failures because it was easier than facing up to the facts.”

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. The silence in the house started buggin’ the fuck out of me. I got up and started pacing the floor.

Kelvin said, “Man, I ain’t trying to rush your story or nothing, but I do have to get up in the morning.”

I looked at my watch and realized that it was almost three in the morning.

“
Damn, man, I’m sorry. There not much else left to tell. We can finish this some other time.” I swallowed a gulp of my drink and dose of guilt.

“
Naw, let’s get it over with while you still feel like talking.”

It was a good thing he didn’t stop me ’cause I was going to finish whether he was there to listen or not. “She asked me what I wanted and I was honest with her.”

“
What did you tell her?”

“
That I didn’t have a fucking clue.” I chuckled at the memory. “It was a life-defining moment for me. I had spent many years blaming her for not fulfilling my dreams—only to find out that I didn’t have any. Being the good woman that she is, she allowed me the opportunity to find myself.”

“
Damn, that’s what’s up.” He rose from the easy chair as if I was finished.

If my shit ended just like that, I wouldn’t be on his motherfucking sofa to begin with. My ass would be chilling with my wife
.

“
So you told her you didn’t want to be with her and now your ass is rooming with me? Damn, man, I would have picked misery over that lumpy-ass couch.” He put his empty glass on the bar and headed for his room.

I wanted to call out to him and finish my twisted tale, but pride kept me silent. “Yo, I’m going to get my shit together, you watch and see.” My words were slurred, but I’d never been so serious in my entire life. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself.

“
It’s not too late, bro, she still loves you. It’s in her eyes.” He closed his door, leaving me in the dark and alone with my thoughts.

“
But I’m not the same man that she married,” I mumbled as a tear fell from my eye. I kicked off my shoes hoping to fall asleep without the dreams and the desires. I didn’t even bother to take off my clothes. I put my feet up on the sofa and willed myself to relax while praying that my head would stop spinning long enough for me to use the bathroom without falling down. That was the last thing I remembered before I had passed out.

Chapter 17

Despite the lack of sleep that I had gotten over the weekend, I was at the office bright and early Monday morning and knee deep in correspondence when Talisa knocked on my door. My coffee that I’d picked up from
Starbucks
had long since grown cold.

“
Come in,” I said without looking away from the task in front of me.

“
Hey, I was just checking to make sure you were in here. I saw the light under the door. You haven’t moved in hours, so I was getting worried.”

That statement had broken my concentration. “Hours? What time is it?”

“
Ten o’clock.”

“
Oh my, where did the morning go?”

She was looking at me so strangely I felt like I had a booger hanging out of my nose.

I unconsciously rubbed my nose. “What?”

“
Oh, I’m sorry. I was lost in thought. Do you want me to freshen up your coffee?”

“
Talisa, you don’t have to do that.”

“
I know that. I was just asking ’cause I was about to get a cup for myself.”

“
Well, since you put it that way. I could use some.” I hadn’t realized my hunched over position until I attempted to straighten up my back. Pain radiated from my neck to my lower back. “Ouch.”

“
You alright?” She moved closer to my desk.

“
Yeah, just sitting wrong is all. Do yourself a favor and stay young.”

“
When you figure out how to do that, let me know.” She turned to get the coffee.

I pushed back from the desk to gaze out the windows. My office overlooked downtown Atlanta. If I hadn’t been so busy, I would have seen the beautiful day that had unfolded before me. The reality was that most days I rarely got the chance to admire the view. The floor-to-ceiling windows were invisible to me. When I was in the zone, I didn’t see anything but what was in front of me. Momma used to say I had Attention Deficit Disorder; she would be shocked at how focused I’ve become.

Just thinking about Momma made me sad. I’d lost my momma nine years ago to breast cancer. She was one of those old school mothers that believed doctors were all out to make you sick so you’d spend all your money trying to get well when there was nothing wrong with you in the first place.

I tried to get her to see the inaccuracy of her thinking, but she wouldn’t listen to me until the cancer had spread all through her body. Since cancer ran in my family, I’d never missed an appointment, even if I was in the midst of a trial. My health meant more to me than dying like some punk ass.

I turned back around as Talisa came back into the room. “Thanks. I needed this. I let my other cup grow cold.”

“
No problem.” She took a seat in front of me and continued to gaze at me as if she were waging some inner battle.

Fear prickled my skin as I continued to watch her.
I hope she is not about to tell me that she has found another position and is trying to leave me.
“Why the pensive look? You’re scaring me.”

“
Oh, my bad. I was just in thought.”

“
Care to share?”

She didn’t say anything right away, and I didn’t want to push her away by prying, either. I had no idea what could have been so heavily on her mind this early in the day.

“
Uh, it may be nothing, but something doesn’t feel right today,” she said.

“
Are you sick?”

“
No, it’s not with me. I mean the vibe I’m getting. I’m usually good at picking up on things, and my instinct tells me something is a brew.”

“
Okay, I’m a firm believer in gut feelings. What’s up?” I sat up straight, elbows resting on the chair’s arms.

“
Aren’t you supposed to be meeting with that black computer geek that does all this work for Microsoft?”

“
Yeah, Sherman Jennings. The firm is pulling me in to protect his assets.”

“
That’s what I thought. So I went to pull his files to read up on the man only to find out that Frick and Frack already got them.”

“
Why? They have nothing to do with this case.”

“
That’s my point. So I go to ask that slick heifer Frack and she gets all huffy with me, saying that I would have to ask Frick. So before I jap slapped the hell out of her, I came in here to find out the real deal.”

I put my cup down on my desk. Talisa was right, something didn’t smell too kosher. I’d just learned of my involvement in the case last week during the partners’ meeting; and, other than Talisa, I’d told no one.

I really couldn’t see why any of the partners would bother mentioning my case disposition to a junior associate. It just didn’t make sense. In some cases, juniors were assigned to assist in big-money cases, but it was always at the partners’ discretion. I had no idea of what I would need as far as resources on this case until I had met with Sherman. But there was no way in hell I would have chosen either of their asses to work on anything with me.

“
You’re right. Something stinks to the high heavens. I’ve told management before that they were nothing but trouble, but they don’t listen. I swear to God one of them must be fucking one of the senior partners or their asses would have been gone a long time ago.”

“
They don’t have to fuck ’em. All they have to do is know where their dirt is buried.” Talisa edged closer to my desk.

“
You’ve got a point,” I said, massaging my temples. “But I don’t think Frack has been here long enough to know where the bodies are buried.”

“
Yeah, she started a few months after I did, and we both know that no one in their right mind would fuck Frick.”

I started giggling. “Imagine Frick with her legs up in the air over her desk.” I paused. “Ugh, that’s not a pretty sight.”

Talisa frowned. “You ain’t even lying. I might have to go throw up on that one. But don’t sleep on Frack, that is a shiesty heifer. You can look at her ass and tell she got where she is on her back because the girl is as dizzy as a doorknob.”

“
I thought the same thing, too, but look how she’s working it. She isn’t that dumb. By the way, I’m glad that you came in here. I will handle their dumb asses with the partners. Never mind them, I wanted to speak with you about becoming my legal assistant.”

“
I’m already your assistant.”

“
You’re my personal assistant. There’s a difference. This job will require more research and allow you more control. Of course, you won’t have time to do my correspondence and handle the phone. You’ll just have to interview someone to takeover those duties for us.”

“
I don’t know what to say.”

“
Stop lying. You know you want to know about the money.” I couldn’t help but to smile.

“
Damn, was I that obvious?”

“
No, I just know you aren’t stupid is all.”

“
Well then show me the money.” Now she smiled, showing off her even teeth.

“
I haven’t gotten it finalized yet, but you’ll get a nice-sized raise, the office next door to mine, and if things go well, bonuses to boot. Does that sound good?”

“
Hell yeah it sounds good! I’ve got kids at home who always need something. It will be nice to have a few extra ends to cover them.”

“
I sipped my coffee. You know Frack is going to be on your back about it, don’t you?”

“
Honey, please. Frack will mess around and get whacked in that fake ass face of hers. I’m not the one to be played with especially when it comes to my money.”

“
I know. That’s what I like about you. Just tell the scheming heifer to play her position and wear a recorder when you do because I want to hear her reaction.”

“
As you said before: the bitch ain’t crazy,” Talisa said as she got up.

“
Thanks for the heads-up about my client. Keep your ear to the gutter and let me know if you find out anything else.”

“
No problem, and thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“
I didn’t give you anything that you didn’t earn. My personal feelings for you aside, you are an excellent assistant. I like to be rewarded for hard work, and I reciprocate the favor for a job well done.”

* * *

I tried to stay focused on my files, but my mind kept wandering. Something was telling me that I needed to address this situation with Frick and Frack quick, fast, and in a hurry. I picked up the phone and buzzed Talisa.