Dudes Down Under (21 page)

Charlie was standing there with his mouth open and his heart pounding. My God, if that bastard had hit her....

She walked back to him and he enfolded her in his arms. “Remind me never to make you mad, okay?”

“
Deal,” she said. “Take me home, please, Charlie.”

*  *  *

“
Lucy, are you awake, baby?”

“
Mmm, I am now.”

“
Lucy, I ... I’ll ask you after breakfast.”

“
I hate it when somebody starts to say something and then stops. What already?”

“
Not important. Well, it is but it’s the wrong time to do it.”

“
Okay, what do you fancy for brekkie?”

“
You.”

“
I’ll see if I’m in.”

“
You nut.”

“
Yeah but I’m so good in a boat.”

Charlie looked at her and he knew, deep in his guts, he couldn’t go back home without her. What the hell was he going to do?
I might ask Jack. He’s pretty smart about women, I hope.

Lucy was snuggling back down and very happy. This guy was so … so male. And then some.

*  *  *

The De La Cruz, bungalow was quiet, too quiet. Tony sat looking across at his wife. “What do you mean you wanna go home? We still got a couple of weeks to go, honey. People will think it’s odd if we leave now.”

“
I don’t give a shit what people think or say, Tony. I want to leave. I don’t fit in. I never have. I want to go home.”

“
You may not care, baby, but I have worked too damned hard to create the impression of undying love. I am NOT going to be made a fool of, especially with Lana Peters and the God-damned film crew being here. Do you hear what I’m saying?”

“
Tony, I hear every word. I DON’T CARE! Do you hear what I am saying?”

“
We’ll talk about this later. I am going for a walk.”

“
Enjoy your damned walk. Say hello to your ex for me but don’t expect me to be here waiting like a good little girl when you get back.”

Tony looked at her and threw his hands in the air. Temperamental little thing. If he stayed longer, it would only get worse. She was so damned emotional, and young. Dammit, he needed a drink. “You stay right here. I don’t want my wife making a fool of me.”

“
Why would I bother? You do that just fine on your own.” Karen stomped off to the bedroom and slammed the door, hard.

Tony shook his head and headed away from the bungalow, deciding that she would calm down better if he wasn’t around. She always did.

*  *  *

Lana and Jack wandered outside around lunch time, each of them relaxed and a little overwhelmed by their instinctive reaction to each other.

They shared such an enormous amount of themselves with the public, yet with each other they were just two very talented people who were falling more in love with each other by the day.

“
This happiness stuff could take some getting used to, m’lady.”

“
Yeah, I hear you. I been trying to tell myself that it’s just indigestion. So I was wrong, huh?”

“
Oh yes, I definitely think it’s much more serious than indigestion.”

“
More like heartburn?”

“
You got that right, m’lady.”

“
Whatever this is, Jack, I’m in no hurry to find a cure for it.” Lana looked deep into those eyes. “No hurry at all.”

“
That’s good. Me neither. What do you fancy for lunch?”

She grinned at him and tugged his hand.

“
Again?”

“
What’s the matter, hon? Not up for it?”

He scooped the squealing woman up into his arms and they collapsed together giggling like a pair of teenagers onto the already decimated bed.

*  *  *

“
So, Rebecca, introduce me to these pretty ladies,” said Skeet as he walked across the grassed area to the enclosure.

Rebecca smiled up at him. “Happy to. This little lady on the left is Pebbles, 'cause she eats more than her fair share of ‘em. I know these guys do that to aid digestion, but this little girl likes ‘em almost as much as food. This little rascal is Sadie.”

“
Sadie? How come Sadie?”

“
She loves Barbra Streisand, and her favorite movie is
Funny Girl
, so
Sadie, Sadie, married lady
kinda stuck.”

“
She likes movies and Streisand. I don’t suppose you know her favorite actor?”

“
Hell yes, she gets positively starry-eyed over Al Pacino and we only whisper the name Brando if we want to get any rest from her grunting and carrying on. She has to see
The Godfather
at least once a week or she sulks.”

“
You have got to be shittin’ me!”

“
Not a chance. Why?”

“
Just wait till she meets Cyril. Phew, talk about same interests. But I don’t know if similar interests are all it takes, I mean, you know, unless the spark's there.”

“
Well how about we take the girls over and find out right now?”

“
Okay, let’s do it. Do you need leads for the girls? Bluey is gone, you know, but I’ll be here.”

“
Won’t need leads. They follow me anywhere. But I’m not sure about when they meet Cyril. We might need restraints then, so better have a couple of your other guys on hand.”

“
Yeah, good idea. I’m not certain how he will react. He hasn’t had to deal with any other croc before, let alone a female.”

*  *  *

“
Lucy, honey, I need to talk to you. Can we sit outside for a while?” Charlie asked softly.

Lucy had been expecting this, and hoping to avoid it. She knew he would be leaving, and had told herself right at the start that this was a short-term thing, so the feeling of despair that washed over her at his words was unwelcome. She was a big girl, sophisticated and worldly; she would be gracious and friendly, and watch him walk out of her life with a smile.

“
Sure thing. I’ll grab us a bottle of vino. You want to sit out back near the pool?”

“
Uh-huh, yeah, hon, that would be good. I’ll wait out there, all right?”

Lucy nodded and noted the nervousness in his voice. She would try and make this as easy for him as she could. She pulled out the chilled Chablis, grabbed a couple of glasses and walked out to the back porch. She couldn’t see him at first, then noticed the glow of a cigarette up under the arbor of bougainvillea that draped all around the borders of her fenced area.

*  *  *

“
All right, Cyril mate, are you ready for your surprise?”

Is the Pope Catholic, duh? I have been pacing all morning and haven’t even had a beer. So, all right already, show me.

“
Right, buddy, well it’s time. Close your eyes.” Skeet nodded to Rebecca and she escorted the first of her two ladies into the room. Three additional handlers per crocodile stood around and watched a little anxiously.

“
Awright, Cyril, open your eyes, mate.”

Oh I am so excited. Eeeeeeeeeek! What is that? My God, it's ugly. Skeet, don’t just stand there with ya mouth open, do something. It’s gross, ugly … and it smells disgusting.

“
Cyril don’t look too thrilled to see Pebbles, does he?” said Rebecca, closely watching both of the big crocs. Pebbles is not overjoyed either.”

The smaller of the two crocs looked around frantically for an escape route. Spotting the open door access to the rear pool and enclosure, she made her way quickly toward it, putting as much distance as possible between her and the large male.

“
Well, that went down like a lead bloody balloon, didn’t it? What’s wrong with you, Cyril? Don’tcha recognize a good lookin’ woman when ya see one?”

THAT was a woman? Oh my God, please, this is not funny. She was sooo ugly. I can’t imagine what you were thinking. I mean, I know I am a crocodile as well, but I have taste, style, dress sense. I wear clothing. She was butt-naked. Eeeeeww, how crass.

“
Will we try Sadie? Maybe he’ll like her more,” said Skeet, not very convincingly.

“
Nah, not yet. Let me think about this for a bit. I’ll put Pebbles and Sadie back in the large pen while we have a natter about it, all right?”

Skeet turned around after nodding his agreement to Rebecca. “Well, Cyril, we need to have a little think about this, so I’ll give you ya ration of beer and we’ll be back a bit later, mate, awright?”

Beer, oh good - good for shock, don’t you know? I am disappointed. I had so hoped for 'The Godfather' book, and what did I get? Well, it just doesn’t bear thinking about. I am an unhappy crocodile.

“
Does he always flip on his back like that?” asked Rebecca.

“
Only when he’s got a case of the shits, mate,” said Skeet.

“
I only asked because Sadie does it as well. She even holds her breath,” said Rebecca.

Sadie? What’s a Sadie, and why does she hold her breath? I must find out how that’s done. Where is my beer? I need a drink. This is just so traumatic.

Pebbles responded to her handler's whistle and slowly edged her way past Cyril who gave her a big fake crocodile smile as she went by.

Poor thing. How cruel life is. I guess you just can’t help being ugly, and smelly, poor thing. Now I feel like a heel, and a beer!

Chapter 25

Tony De La Cruz sat up at the bar in the Swamp. Kylie Andrews wandered in with his ex-wife. They had clearly formed a friendship of sorts and were laughing uproariously about something. Vanessa spotted her ex first, gave Kylie a nudge and they both joined him at the bar.

“
Why the hang-dog expression, Tony, or shouldn’t I ask?” said Vanessa Dayton while signaling to Max that she and Kylie would have their usuals.

“
What, hang-dog, me? No, I’m fine, Ness. Couldn’t be better,” Tony said in what he hoped was a bright, cheerful voice.

“
Bullshit. I was married to you, remember? I know that look. So what’s happening?”

Kylie spoke up. “Would you guys like to talk without me around? I can take my cocktail outside, no problem.”

“
No, it’s fine, Kylie. Not much to talk about really. Like I said, everything’s great with me.”

“
Uh-huh, I don’t think so, Tony. But hell, if you want to do your ‘let’s pretend’ routine, go for it. Where’s Karen?” Vanessa knew her ex too well; the jugular was exposed, so she went for it. “Everything okay with you two?”

“
Shit, Vanessa, I'm going outside. You slash and burn so well. I don’t want to get in the crossfire.” Kylie picked up her drink and headed out to the drinking area by the covered pool. She was still growing accustomed to her new friend's abrupt manner. Vanessa didn’t play anybody’s game. Her rules of engagement were often cold and blunt, but in a world full of fakes she was so refreshingly honest that Kylie had come to respect and like her a good deal. Still, she just didn’t want to witness the blood-letting which she knew would come.

A few of the staff gave her a friendly wave on their ways to the various areas. She was popular now that she appeared to have recovered from a severe case of bitch.

She caught sight of Lana Peters and Jack Starr walking hand -in- hand towards the lagoon. Smiling happily to herself, she realized that they looked so perfect together. She was happy for both of them.

“
Hi, Kylie,” said Karen De La Cruz. “May I join you?”

Oh fuck, I hope Vanessa and Tony are not chatting too happily.
“Sure, Karen, sit down. Just press the buzzer on the umbrella stand and give Max your order, and he’ll bring it out for you. Or better yet, would you like to share a bottle of something ice-cold with me?”

“
Why, thanks ... thanks a lot, Kylie, I would like that very much.” Karen sat herself down facing away from the door entrance to the Swamp.

“
What takes your fancy - champers, or a flat dry white, or red?” asked Kylie.

“
Would Max mix us a special order in a jug and bring it out, do you think?”

“
Sure, he would. Max is way cool. What did you have in mind?”