Dust (30 page)

“Why?” I asked.

“Because, whether you believe it or not, you’re dwelling on tonight. You can’t dwell, Jo. Let’s talk about Mona.”

“Let’s not.” Burke said.

I sneered at Burke, and then smiled at Tanner. “You know what? Let’s. Mona … Mona and I are a lot alike. Spiritually, if that makes sense. Personality wise too. Weird things would happen between us. We’d have the same dreams. If I was having a bad day, you could bet she was having a bad day. If Mona were sad, I would cry and not know why. That’s why I am so sure she is alive. If anyone would feel that she was dead, I would. I know I would. And she’ll come back. Wait. You wait and see. And oh, boy is she gonna like you.”

“What?” Tanner asked. “What do you mean?”

“She’s gonna take a liking to you.” I winked. “She’ll think you’re hot.”

Tanner blushed. I never expected it. Running his hand over his unshaven face, he lowered his head and blushed.

“Yeah,” Burke said. “Jo’s right. Only Mona would think of getting laid in a post nuclear war.”

Offended, my mouth dropped open. “Burke.” I huffed in disgust. “You know … maybe you would think about getting laid. Mona would think about just being intimate and close. Affection. Basic human need.”

“OK. You’re right.” Burke flipped a page in his book. “I will eventually think about getting laid. Won’t everybody. I mean...” Swinging his legs over the couch, Burke sat up. “When things calm down. Won’t everybody.”

“No.” I answered quickly.

“Jo, sex is not gonna be a thing of the past.” Burke argued. “You’re gonna tell me that you won’t think about getting laid?”

I cringed. “Burke.”

“Sorry.” He lifted his hand. “Making love. Being affectionate. That won’t cross your mind?”

Apprehensively, I answered. “Probably. Eventually. I don’t know.”

“Basic human instinct and need.” Burke nodded. “And I bet it’s already crossed Tanner’s mind, right Tanner?”

“Yeah, I mean …” Tanner gave an embarrassed smile to me. “Eventually. And how did we get on this subject?”

Burke pointed my way.

“Me?” I questioned. “I did …”

Davy screamed. A long horrid scream from my son was no less than a warning alarm that sounded off. We all sprang to our feet, and just as we did so, I heard sound of struggling thumps and bangs.

Matty’s cries of, “Mommy! Mommy!” carried to us.

Burke was first to bolt down the hall, with Tanner and myself right behind. No sooner did Burke reach the back bedroom door, a battling Davy and Tammy nearly knocked him over.

“What the fuck!” Burked reached out grabbing on to both of them.

“Mommy!” Matty cried.

Turning to run in the bedroom, I watched Davy pull from Burke’s hold and emotionally drop to his knees. His face was red; his head flung back and bellowed out in anguish, “Simon!”

Into that room I flew. My hand smacked against the battery light on the wall to brighten the dark room.

“Mommy!” Matty screamed.

My eyes went to the bed where Davy and Simon slept, and my heart hit my stomach with a catatonic, paralyzing effect. On the bed lay Simon with a pillow over him. I felt it roll from my gut to my throat, a moan of agony in the revelation of what had occurred.

“Oh my God.” Tanner said rushed, and flew by me to the bed. “Someone get my bag!” he ordered out loudly. “Get my bag now!” he removed the pillow from Simon.

Simon’s eyes. That instant in time, that vision of my innocent nephew was photographed forever in my mind. Simon’s eyes were wide open and his mouth agape.

Tanner’s hand moved to Simon’s throat. “OK, little man, you’re still warm.” He whispered and turned to Matty. “Matty, go in the other room. Go get Nicky, find a way to warm blankets. Hurry.”

Matty scurried in Tanner’s dictate.

Tanner lifted Simon from the bed, and if it were possible for my soul to diminish any further it happened when I watched Simon’s lifeless arms just fall over Tanner’s hands.

I heard Craig ache out, “Oh God”, right before he abruptly moved by me with and handed Tanner the bag.

Tanner spoke as rushed as he opened that bag and reached in, “Craig, go to my radiation suit. Pull the oxygen. Find a way to rig it. Find it. I need the oxygen.”

“Got it.” Craig ran out.

“Tanner,” I whimpered. “Help him.”

The stethoscope was first out of his bag, and then Tanner pulled out a vile and syringe “He’s not going anywhere if I can help it.” He plunged the needle into the syringe, drew in some liquid then clenched the syringe between his teeth.

“Mom?” Davy whispered in such heartache.

I could only shake my head and pull Davy closer as we watched.

Tanner’s left hand felt about Simon’s ribcage. His spread his fingers in a brace of Simon chest, raised his right hand with a tightly closed fist and struck down hard with a ‘thump’ to Simon. His tiny body jolted. Quickly, Tanner pulled the syringe from his mouth as his fingers probed, and then with no hesitation, he plunged the needle into what could only be Simon’s heart.

I held Davy tighter.

Head close to Simon’s chest, Tanner listened. After a single shake of his head, he titled back Simon’s head and breathed into his little mouth.

A pause.

Another breath.

A listen.

Tanner began. His hands appeared as if they covered Simon’s entire torso. It was unlike any cardio-pulmonary resuscitation I had ever seen in a movie, or training film. He used more of his fingers than his hand as he compressed upon Simon, counting aloud a he did. “One and two and three and four and five and …”

A breath into Simon.

Again.

It was an unbelievable pain that filled my body. I wanted to scream. No questions as to what happened raced through my mind. No wondering why Tammy did what she did. All I thought about, all my prayers went for Simon to respond.

“Simon.” I heard Davy whisper.

My eyes closed. “Please. Please, Simon.”

I didn’t need to see, nor hear him. I felt Burke’s presence come into that room, and then I felt his arms wrap around Davy and me. I sunk into his hold, but not even Burke’s strong arms could take it all away at that moment. “Burke.” I wept out.

“He’ll do it.” Burke spoke soft and confident. “Come on Tanner, you can do this. Bring him, back.”

In our own way, with love, beckoning and prayer, we cheered Simon and Tanner on. Hoping our whispers of desperation would be heard by the lost soul of Simon Reed. Heard, and perhaps be a guiding light for Simon to follow back to us.

Never in my life had I seen an individual as focused as Tanner Niles was at that moment. He listened through the stethoscope, said nothing, lifted the syringe and plunged another injection into Simon. His resuscitation cycles began again. Stringent he delivered them. Determination glazed his eyes and face.

“Three and two and three and four and five …” Tanner breathed into Simon. “Four and two and three and four and five …” Another breath.

Stop.

Tanner picked up his stethoscope. He placed the end to Simon’s body.

We all froze. Why wasn’t Tanner going into resuscitation measures again? He flung off the stethoscope, lowered his head, and whispered out a powerful. “Yes, thank you.” He turned his head and looked up with a smile. “He’s back. Where’s the oxygen?”

I didn’t realize how many of us were in that room until I heard the unison, sounds of relief and glee. I rushed down to the floor, and dropped to my knees. “Simon?”

Tanner smiled at me. “He’s back, Jo.” After running his hand over Simon’s hair, Tanner gave a slight shake to Simon’s head. “Hey, hey little man. Come on, Simon, can you hear me?”

Davy’s impatience brought him to the floor with us. “Simon. Simon?” Davy called him.

Simon’s eyelids fluttered, and then he opened his eyes.

Davy’s shriek of joy overpowered my own, and he all but moved me from the way. My hand reached out grabbing on to Simon’s leg in gratefulness.

“Davy,” Simon moaned out.

“I’m right here buddy. I’m not going anywhere.” Davy heaved out a breath and turned to Tanner. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Tanner nodded once. “Why don’t you put him in bed?”

I backed out of the way as my son lifted Simon. Simon didn’t want to be laid down, his arms wrapped around Davy tight like a monkey. He shook his head.

“Come on,” Davy said. “You have to lay down. Tanner Niles wants to look at you some more.”

Tanner Niles. I faced him, and saw a man no less a hero in my eyes. “Tanner,” I whispered out. “Oh, God, I can’t thank …”

“No.” He shook his head. “No, thanks. OK? Simon is thank you enough.”

Wanting to say, ‘bullshit’, I refrained and gave Tanner no choice but to accept my embrace of appreciation. Tanner accepted it. No sooner did his arms even tense up around me, I started to cry.

“Hey.” He chuckled, pulled back some and put his hands firm to my cheeks. “It’s fine. He’s gonna be … just fine. OK?”

I nodded.

“But I’ll tell ya …” Tanner exhaled a ‘whew’, and pulled me back into the embrace.

“Got the oxygen.” Craig approached. “It’s the best I could do. Will it work.”

Pulling from the hold, Tanner paused in taking the oxygen. “Holy shit. This is impressive.”

Craig titled his head to the left. “It’s the best I could do.”

Tanner checked out the makeshift oxygen mask that consisted of a cup attached to the tube, and secured with duct tape. Another piece of tape, held a strap to the end. “This will be great. We only need it for a hour.” He walked to the bed.

Craig pointed. “The extra tape will hold the strap to his face.” He scratched his head. “I think.”

Tanner laughed and sat on the edge of the bed. “Bet me Davy won’t mind holding the oxygen to Simon.”

“Hell, no.” Davy answered. “Tell me what to do.”

As I moved back even further, Tanner’s words to Davy were lost in my abundance of thankfulness. My heart pounded in my ears making it nearly impossible to hear anything but my own thoughts.

I was elated. In fact we were all elated. Nonetheless, even in our overwhelmed emotional state, we had not forgotten what had caused us to almost lose Simon.

Or rather who—Tammy.

***

“I say no mercy.” Burke laid the revolver on the kitchenette table.

I looked at the gun. “Kill her? Just kill her?”

“Yep.” Burke, standing, folded his arms.

“No.” Craig argued. “She’s dead anyway. Don’t do this. Send out her. Kick her out. No food. No coat. Nothing. Send her away.”

“I agree with Burke,” Dan spoke up. “I say we shoot her. She deserves it. Look what she did. Yeah, Simon is alive now. But let’s not let that be the only thing we see. She killed him. She intended to have him dead and she suffocated him. You heard Davy.”

Nicky shook her head. “But two wrongs don’t make a right. I stand with Craig. Just kick her out.”