Authors: Marcia Lynn McClure
“
Ryder!
”
her father shouted. Ryder
’
s attention was immediately turned to Hank
,
and he guiltily dropped his hands from Dusty.
“
Come on over here and help load up some of these supplies for Alex and Alice, would you, boy?
”
Ryder let out a relieved sigh, winked at Dusty
,
and confessed,
“
I thought I was on my way to the hangin
’
tree!
”
H
e reached out and tweaked her nose before hurrying toward the Jones
es’
wagon.
“
We
’
ll pick up all the rest of what you need tomorrow when the boys are in town,
”
Dusty heard her father tell Alex.
Alice
waved to Dusty and gave her a knowing wink. Dusty smiled and waved back before noting how her father held Miss Raynetta
’
s hand tightly as he walked her to her own wagon. He helped her up onto the
wagon seat
after tying a saddle horse to the back of the wagon. Never again would any of the othe
r hands see Miss Raynetta home—
Dusty knew that for certain. Going into the house then, Dusty found Becca sitting at the table, her head propped up on one hand as she stared rather dismally out through the window to the starry sky.
“
W
hat’s wrong?” Dusty asked, though s
he already suspected what it was. Actually, she knew. Becca looked up at Dusty
,
and her eyes made a quick appraisal of her from head to toe.
“
What
’
s wrong is…I never come back from a walk with Feller lookin
’
the way you do after a walk with Ryder!
”
Becca told her simply.
“
What are you talkin
’
about?
”
Dusty turned away shyly for a moment.
“
He
’
s gonna marry you, Dusty. Ryder
’
s gonna marry you and give you babies and make you happy
,
and he
’
s gonna spend the rest of his life kissin
’
you out in the barn or under the waterfall.
”
Immediately the fear and doubt began to chill Dusty.
“
Don
’
t Becca. Don
’
t say that! You
’
ll
—”
“
My sayin
’
it ain
’
t gonna make it not happen, Dusty. I caught him, you know.
”
“
What? Caught him what?
”
“
I caught Ryder the other night…standin
’
in the doorway of your bedroom watchin
’
you sleep. Just standin
’
there with that deep ol
’
frown on his face, just watchin
’
you sleep.
”
Dusty shook her head, unable to believe it.
“
I
’
ve seen you too. Standin
’
in the parlor, watchin
’
him. Truth be told, there were moments that I thought the bunkhouse fire may end up causin
’
a shotgun weddin
’
between you and Ryder.
”
“
For cryin
’
out loud, Becca! How you do go on!
”
Dusty scolded, although her heart was beating frantically at the thought of Ryder so close to her when she was unaware. Hadn
’
t he only
just told her, that very night—hadn’t he just told her
there had been moments when he
’
d thought of her bed?
“
Anyhow…I saw y
a
dancin
’
with Feller tonight. You
—”
“
The flea
-
swap, y
a
mean?
”
Becca shook her hea
d. “Well, that was the beginnin’
and the end of me havin
’
his attention tonight!
”
“
You mean he didn
’
t even…
”
“
Know why I caught you and Ryder a
-
starin
’
off at each other in the dark?
”
Dusty shook her head.
“
Because after the two of you would finally settle down every night…it was my turn to dream ov
er a sleepin’ man.” Becca rose and, with tears in her eyes,
went to her room.
“
Feller Lance, you coward!
”
Dusty whispered angrily. Immediately, however, she repented. Who was the biggest coward of all on the Hunter
r
anch? It wasn
’
t Feller Lance or Becca
or even her father. It was Dusty—it was still
her.
The next morning, a
fter feeding the chickens
, Dusty sought out Feller. She found him saddling up his horse.
She knew he
, Ryder
,
and Ruff were goin
g into town to pick up supplies, and she’d made up her mind to talk to him before they left.
“
Feller,
”
Dusty began
.
“
Mmm hm
m,” Feller mumbled as he worked.
“
Do y
a
…do y
a
fancy Becca?
”
Feller
seemed to nearly choke—
dropped the horse
’
s hoof, causing the animal to step directly on his own foot.
“
Dang!
”
he
exclaimed
,
slapping
the animal
’
s flank. The horse lifted its foot
,
and Feller stepp
ed back. He looked up to Dusty, his expression revealing his sudden anxiety
.
Dusty secretly delighted in the way the color completely drained from his face. He deserved to feel uncomfortable after not having asked Becca to dance again the night before.
“
Well, do y
a
?
”
she prodded.
“
Do I what?
”
he asked with irritation, feigning ignorance.
“
Do y
a
fancy my sister? Are y
a
sweet on her? Do y
a
like her, Feller?
”
Dusty was amused
,
watching him angrily grab a currycomb and begin roughly brushing the horse
’
s neck.
“
You beat all. What kind of a question is that? I got things to do,
”
Feller mumbled.
Dusty had k
nown Feller almost all her life. Sh
e knew him well enough to know that the only time he tried to get someone to leave him alone by saying he had things to do was when he was uncomfortable.
“
Well? Do y
a
?
”
she asked again.
“Of course I fancy her! I’ve k
nown her since she was in diapers almost. She
’
s a fine girl. I fancy you too. What
’
s all this about?
”
“
But…do y
a
like her, Feller
?
Do y
a
more than like her?
”
Feller quit brushing the animal for a minute
. He
looked to D
usty. “She’s seventeen, Dusty. She’s g
ot her whole life ahead of her. She
’
s young.
”
“
When I was seventeen
,
I was engaged to be married, Feller,
”
Dusty reminded him.
“
And Cash was twenty-one, Dusty. Not thirty.
”
He went back to brushing.
“
Besides…weren
’
t that almost the biggest mistake of your life?
”
“
Yes
. Because if I had married him, it would’ve been dishonest…to
him and myself. Because…I think y
a
already know, Feller…I never loved him like I should
’
ve,
”
she confessed.
Feller only continued to brush the horse.
“
Why don
’
t y
a
let Becca know how y
a
feel?
”
she asked.
“
There ain
’
t nothin
’
to let her know.
”
“
Don
’
t do it, Feller. Don
’
t waste your life for fear of rejection.
”
“
You
’
re the one to be tellin
’
me that, huh?
”
he growled at her. He turned to her
.
Dusty could see the pain
in his eyes. It was unnerving—for n
ever had she remembered seeing such hurt in Feller Lance
’
s eyes before.
“
What about you? Huh? Who are you to be tellin
’
me what to be afraid of?
”
He threw the curry brush to the ground, took his gloves from their place in his back pocket
,
and angrily began pulling them on.
“
She
’
s a girl, Dusty.
Seventeen! I’m thirty years old.
Heck, I
’
m only twelve years behind your daddy!
”
“
You go on like you
’
re a hundred, Feller!
”
Dusty felt the tears leave her eyes and travel down her cheeks.
“
Don
’
t let happen to her what happened to me. Please!
”
“You said it yourself.
Cash woulda been the biggest mistake
—”
“
I wasn
’
t talking about Cash
,
and you know it.
”
Tears fl
ooded her cheeks then. “Nothin’ on this earth could
a kept me from tryin
’
my best to win Ryder if I
’
d been seventeen when he was h
ere instead of fourteen. Nothin’
!
”
Her voice cracked with emotion
,
and she brushed the tears from her face.
“
Don
’
t break Becca
’
s heart any longer, Feller. I swear I
’
ll hate you forever if you keep doin
’
it!
”
He was silent for a moment, his jaw clenching and unclenching with anger and frustration.
“
What do y
a
want me to do, Dusty? Huh? Waltz up to her and
—”
“
Yes,
”
Dusty answered without letting him finish.
“
Walk up to her
,
and tell her how y
a
feel. Kiss her mouth raw! Kidnap a preacher
,
and marry her
.
I don
’
t care! Just quit lettin
’
her think y
a
don
’
t care.
”
Dusty smiled for a moment through her tears
—
shook her head at the irony.
“
To think of all the times…all the sermons you
’
ve given me over the past years. I never knew what a hypocrite you really
are
.
”