Dusty Britches (69 page)

“
Shut up, Dusty!
”
he commanded through clenched teeth.
“
Shut your delicious little mouth and listen to me!
”

Oh, h
ow she wanted him to hold her—w
anted to hold him! To kiss him! He was so close. His beloved face, un
shaven and handsome as it was—t
he smell of straw and l
ye soap and leather about him—h
is body pressed warmly against her own. And yet his words were causing panic to
overtake
her.

“
I should leave, Dusty. I know y
a
don
’
t understand why. I can
’
t tell y
a
why. Not now. Not yet. But I…if y
a
tell me that someday you
’
re gonna come outta this…if you can tell me now, tonight, that if I stay, someday you
’
re gonna let me take you into my bed…our bed…that somehow you
’
re gonna give up your fool pride and give yourself to me
completely…then I
’
ll
stay. If not…
”
He looked away for a moment.
“
If not…
”

“You’re telling me that either I—
I…let you…sacrif
ice my virtue for you…or you’ll…”
she stammered. How could she do it? Yet the thought of losing him was intolerable, unthinkable, murdering to her soul!

“
For Pete
’
s sake, Dusty!
”
He closed his eyes tightly for a moment and drew in a deep, calming breath before looking down at her again.

Dusty allowed her mind to ponder on what she felt her heart knew he was saying. He wasn
’
t asking her to sacrifice her virtue. He was ask
ing—
could it be that he was asking if someday she
’
d marry him?

“
Stay or go, Dusty?
”
he asked.
“
Understand this
. I
f I stay, it could be the last decision I ever make. If I go…
”

“
If you go…I
’
ll die, Ryder!
”
It was that simple.

Dusty sniffled as tears began running from the corners of her eyes down her temples. She had read his spirit. He was asking if she loved him still
—
enough to marry him. Could it be possible he was tr
uly unaware that she did? She’d answered him truthfully—
as truthfully as she cou
ld. In that moment, she’
d risked everything
:
he
r heart, her pride, her sanity—
her life! He had to know it. He had to! He couldn
’
t press her further, not yet, or she would crumbl
e. He exhaled heavily, proving he’
d received the answer to his question.

“
So it
’
s down to which one of us dies first, huh?
”
he whispered, grinning somewhat regretfully at her.
“
That
’
s an easy enough choice for me then.
”
Cupping her face in his
hands, he searched her eyes, his lips hovering
only
a breath from hers.
“
Say it to me,
”
he mumbled.
“
Why can
’
t y
a
just say it to me?
”

Dusty opened her mouth to speak. She told her throat to utter the words, but the sharp pain in her chest, the fear of rejection even though he was lying in her bed, telling her he would stay for her no m
atter what—fear
kept her from confessing to him. He
hadn’t
spoken the words to her. How could he expect her to admit something he himself had not said?

He sighed, a hint of disappointment in his expression as he half
-
grinned at her.
“
Don
’
t hurt yourself
with talkin’ if it’s that hard
, sugar. Just show me.
”

Her lips were still parted, trying to force the words from her throat
. H
is
open
mouth, hot and demanding
,
seized hers in one of his passionate, rapturous kisses. There was no pause in her reflex. Her arms went around his powerful body, endeavoring to hold him closer to her. His hands left her face as the fierce, impassioned e
xchange between them continued,
hi
s arms striving to embrace her—caress her—
hold her. His kiss was nearly suffocating in its euphoric
power! He kissed her fiercely,
as if it were imp
ossible to kiss her long enough—
deeply enough! As if he
…
as if they both were unable to satisfy an infinite craving and
,
yet at the same time
,
as if their kiss were the only thing on earth to give them happiness, security
,
and fulfillment. Finally, with one last powerfully driven kiss
bruising
Dusty
’
s tender lips, he broke from her, caressing her face with his hand as he gazed into her eyes.

“
You see how much warmer you
’
d be in the winter with me in here
’
stead of out in the parlor or the bunkhouse?
”
he teased.

She couldn
’
t help but smile at him.
“
Don
’
t leave me, R
yder,” she whispered as he bent, kissing
her neck j
ust below her ear once more. “I…
I can
’
t lose you again.
”

Ryder chuckled warmly. Then, tossing back the covers and quickly climbing out of the bed, he strode to the window.
“
If I don
’
t leave y
a
now, your daddy
’
ll have my hide!
”

“
No,
”
she explained quietly.
“
Don
’
t abandon me. I promise that…
”
But she was unable to speak what her heart wanted to tell him.

Smiling
with understanding
, he raised an index finger
to her as his eyebrows arched with warning. “Don’t abandon me, Angelina,” he said.

He picked up his boots and
climbed out through the window—
into the soft summer night. She heard his footsteps on the porch and then in the kitchen as
he made his way to the parlor—h
eard a deep voice raised in question and Ryder
’
s answer.

Dusty lay in her bed in stunned euphoria for a moment. He loved her? After all this time, he loved her! He hadn
’
t said it, granted. But to imply that
he wanted her to be his wife—
surely he had to love her. There entered into the blissful knowledge a tiny seed of fear. Why had he thought of leaving? Why had his question about whether she wanted him to stay been so mysterious? Did it have to do
with the woman in town, t
he woman Feller had spoken of earlier? Who was she to him? Why a sudden urgency about whether he would stay or go? But Dusty pushed the jealous, frightened thoughts aside and dwelt only on the feel of being in his arms. She was warm with relief and hope at having, in part, admitted her love for him
—
her incredible desire for him never to leave her.

There
came a breeze through the window—
a wiff of honeysuckle nectar and warm
,
ripening fruit
. Ryder wouldn
’
t leave her again! He
’
d said as much, and she knew it was true. He would never leave her again. The sure knowledge was the last piece of the puzzle
she needed—t
he last piece to fit into place in order to make her whole. Her heart was light
;
her body and mind were warmed. She felt momentarily void of fear. She was completely excited by lif
e—b
y the prospect
of belonging to Ryder Maddox—b
y the feel in the night air
signaling
the imminent ending of summer. The thought came to h
er that she would have a mother. S
omehow she would have Feller Lance for a brother-in-law.
And someday—
someday, somehow
,
she would be the one to wake u
p Ryder Maddox each morning—
send him from their bed out to whistle a tune in the barn.

In the mo
rning she would say it to him—t
ell him what she knew he needed to hear her say. She was whole again! Here was the Dusty that had been! And in the morning she would tell him.



Dusty listened to Ryder whistling
—
singing as he clang
ed around in the barn early in the
morning. She caught his eye several times during breakfast and gifted him
with her own mischievous smile—
caused his eyebrows to rise inquisitively. Her father had sen
t
the hands to ride the range that morning and get an idea where the cattle had wandered during the summer. It would be lunch before she would ha
ve the chance to talk to Ryder—
maybe supper. But she would! She would tell him
,
and things would be different. Dusty had it all planned out. She would lure him to the waterfall. Yes! T
hat’s where she must tell him—in her own magical place,
with no one
else
around.

The hands had been out most of the morning
.
Becca and Dusty worked together making apple pies for supper that evening.

“
Do y
a
think…
”
Becca began, pausing in crimpi
ng the edge of a freshly rolled
piecrust.

“
Do I think what?
”
Dusty prodded.

“
Oh, nothing,
”
Becca sighed. She continued to shape the edges of the crust along the edge of the tin pie pan.

“
Yes. I think he does.
”
Dusty giggled, having read her sister
’
s thoughts.

“
What do you mean by that?
”
Becca asked
, blushing
.

“
Yes, I think Feller loves you! I
’
ve told
you that a million times, Becca,”
Dusty reminded her.
“
He
’
s…he
’
s uncertain…lacks confidence. But he
’
ll find his way to tellin
’
y
a
sooner or later.
”

“
I can
’
t wait any longer for later, Dusty! I mean…I think he…
”
Becca sighed heavily again.
“
Nevermind. And anyway…
”
She glanced out the kitchen window.
“
Here comes somebody from town. Can
’
t quite make out who it is yet.
”

Dusty followed her sister
’
s gaze through the window to where a buggy with one passenger, a woman, approached. Dusty
’
s neck prickled as she watched the woman stop the buggy near the back porch. She watched the graceful stranger step down from the buggy and look about
. She appeared to be
disoriented.

“
Well?
”
Becca asked.
“
Are we gonna stand here a
-
gawkin
’
at her?
”
She dried her hands on her apron and walked out onto the porch.

“
Hello!
”
Dusty heard Becca greet the woman as she slowly followed her sister.
“
What can we do for y
a
?
”