Each Time We Love (25 page)

Angry that thoughts of Adam had entered her mind again, she
kicked her horse into movement. She was going home! She wasn't going to
allow herself to think very much about anything that had happened to
her since the first moment she had looked up into Micajah's grinning
face. She might have allowed herself to be convinced that she had a
right to the gold; she might even have allowed herself to think that it
was only right and just to kidnap and force the man who had killed her
father to lead them to the gold, but no longer. The gold didn't really
mean anything to her, and she would content herself with the knowledge
that in the end, Davalos had shown his real feelings—that he had truly
loved her and her mother. And as for Micajah's threats to spread the
truth about Elizabeth's true circumstances… Savanna's eyes narrowed.
She wasn't certain how she was going to do it, but between now and the
next time she saw Micajah,
if
she ever saw
Micajah again, she would think of something—she had to, if her mother's
respectable life was to continue. With that decision made, she felt her
heart lighten a little. She would go home, pick up the threads of her
life and forget that she had ever laid eyes on a blue-eyed devil named
Adam!

Which was easier said than done, Savanna decided disgustedly
as the memory of him lying inert and half naked on the forest floor
slipped through her mind again. She should have made certain that he
had come to his senses before she left him. She still could have
escaped—it would take him some time to fight free of his bonds, and she
didn't believe that he would trouble himself to come after her. He
would no doubt immediately go back to Terre du Coeur and never give her
another thought. The fact that he would be going back to a wife and
family suddenly occurred to her, and she was bewildered by the
knife-pain in her heart such knowledge gave her.

The fact that he was married was something she had forgotten,
but now, in view of what had transpired between them, she was painfully
aware of it and she closed her eyes in anguish. How
could
she have forgotten who he was and what he was and allowed herself to
have been so shamelessly fascinated by him? How could she have been
willing, when all was said and done, to lie in his arms and allow him
the freedoms which no man had ever had from her? She cared
nothing
for him! She hated him! Thoroughly ashamed that she had felt such
pleasure in his embrace, disgusted that she allowed herself to be
beguiled by a man so unworthy of her, Savanna stared dully between the
ears of her horse, wishing she had never laid eyes on him.

Well, my girl, she finally told herself firmly, stop dwelling
on it; put it behind you and think about how you're going to find your
way home. Her rousing little speech worked for a while, and she
concentrated fiercely on where she was going and considered various
means to supplement her meager supplies, but insidiously, images of
Adam's still form kept darting in and out of her thoughts. What if he
couldn't escape those bonds and slowly starved to death? If some wild
animal didn't discover him first! Suppose Micajah found him? Micajah
would torture him to death!

Eventually, Savanna gave up resisting the urge to leave him to
his justly deserved fate, whatever it might be, and turned her horse
around. She would have to go back, make certain that he
had
regained his wits, and she wouldn't think at all how she would feel if
he hadn't; if he were awake, she would have to figure out some sort of
plan that would allow her to leave, confident that he could free
himself and wouldn't be hot on her trail. She wanted him, she told
herself savagely, out of her life, not dead!

It was relatively simple to follow her own trail slowly back
to the place where she had left Adam, and she did so with extreme
misgivings. Her thoughts were not pleasant or comfortable as she
reluctantly made the return journey.

Strangely enough, Savanna didn't regret the loss of her
virginity, nor did she totally blame Adam for his first possession of
her. She almost believed that it had been inevitable, but there was no
way that she could excuse that second, ungentle taking. He had acted
abominably and for that she should leave him to suffer—let alone for
what he had done to her father! As for his wife and children… she
swallowed painfully. He belonged to them and she had not deliberately
set out to wrong them. It had happened and she would be sorry for it
for a long time.

Her mouth twisted ruefully. Just see what comes from trying to
extract revenge, my girl! she scolded herself. How much better off
would you have been if you had never allowed Micajah's words to sway
you? She grimaced. Of course, she'd never really had much choice in the
matter, but she couldn't deny that once she'd realized her position,
she hadn't been a willing participant in Micajah's scheme. Well, she
was paying for her foolishness now and she only hoped that after
ascertaining Adam's safety, she could turn her back on him and begin
the journey home—and forget she had ever met Jason
Adam
Savage!

Several hours had passed since she had made her escape, and
she was uncertain what sort of scene would be waiting for her when she
returned to where Adam had set up camp. Some distance from it, she
dismounted and tied her horse to a sapling. Careful to make as little
noise as possible, she crept nearer, her emotions and thoughts
ambivalent. She didn't want to see her tormentor again, but she was
anxious for him, and her heart began to pound thunderously with every
cautious step she took.

Creeping to the edge of the camp area, hidden by a clump of
tangled foliage, Savanna peered surreptitiously around. Everything
looked normal; Adam's horse was still tethered to the same tree, the
items she had left were still scattered haphazardly about, but of Adam
himself there was no sign. Nothing. The place was empty of any human
habitation. Savanna closed her eyes, horrible pictures of him being
carried off by mountain lions or bears flashing before her. Forcing
down the terror that rose in her throat, she looked again, this time
even more carefully, and it was then that she noticed that the knife
was missing from where she had left it…

Suddenly frightened, telling herself she had done what she had
intended—obviously he had escaped her bonds—she spun around, intent on
swiftly putting as much distance between herself and this place as she
could, and promptly collided heavily with a warm, hard body she knew
all too well. His arms fastened brutally around her, and despite her
fierce struggles, she was his captive once more.

Adam was still garbed only in his breeches, and her face was
crushed against the heat of his naked chest, his powerful arms wrapped
tightly around her. There was nothing the
least
loverlike about his embrace, nor in his tone as he drawled coolly,
"Come back to amuse yourself with my death struggles, sweetheart? Or
perhaps you decided to give me a kinder death than starvation and were
going to do the deed yourself?"

It was so far from the truth that Savanna could only gape
openmouthed at him. How could he think such a thing? She'd come back to
prevent just such an event! Equally furious that he believed her
capable of such utter cruelty and that she had, albeit with the noblest
of intentions, brought this latest calamity upon herself, she simply
glared at him and closed her mouth with an angry snap. I should never
have wasted a second's remorse on him, she thought viciously; never,
never
risked my own safety to see about his!

His hands closed around her shoulders and he shook her
ungently. "No answer?" he questioned grimly. "Too busy trying to think
up some sort of clever lie?"

Her breathing labored as much from temper as from their
struggle, Savanna snarled, "You murdering bastard! What else did you
expect from me? Kindness? After what you did to me and my father?"

An odd expression—regret? shame?—flashed across his face, but
vanished as swiftly as it had appeared. His face cold and remote once
more, he drawled icily, "I might have asked you the same question—what
the hell did
you
expect from
me?
After all, I am, as you have frequently informed me, an unfeeling
monster!"

His words gave her a queer sense of pain and miserably she
realized that she didn't, most of the time, think of him in those
derogatory terms. But she
should,
she reminded
herself fiercely. She should never forget who he was or what he had
done! Sending him a contemptuous glance, she stared stonily over his
shoulder and muttered, "I don't want to talk about it!"

She felt his shrug. "Not much point," he agreed equitably and,
spinning her around, shoved her in the direction of their camp. "Where
is your horse and the rest of the supplies?" he asked as he efficiently
shackled her to a small willow tree.

Glancing down at the despised chains, Savanna wished
vehemently that she had thought to hurl them into the deepest part of
the pond while she'd had the chance. Since there was no point in not
answering his question, she replied stiffly, "About a quarter mile
back, tied to an oak sapling."

Adam nodded and, after shrugging into his white shirt,
disappeared into the brush. Savanna stared after him, a mirthless smile
curving her mouth. So much for trying to do a Christian act, she
thought with bitter regret.

Adam's thoughts were just as bitterly regretful as Savanna's
as he swiftly stalked in the direction she had indicated, but for
vastly different reasons. He had
never
used a
woman as he had Savanna, and the fact that the loss of her virginity
had happened only moments before made the act even more reprehensible.
Shame scalded through him and he wondered irritably if being in the
company of men like Micajah had turned him into the same sort of
bestial animal. Though he tried, Adam could find no real excuse for his
incomprehensible behavior—at least nothing that satisfied him or
lessened his deep feelings of shame and self-disgust. I should never
have touched her, he admitted grimly. Never kissed her, never
discovered the astonishing fact that she had been a virgin, and he
certainly should never,
never
have unleashed his
formidable temper in such a despicable manner!

He was an extremely troubled and baffled man as he came upon
Savanna's horse and mechanically untied the animal and began to walk
back to camp. His head ached abominably and his conscience was tearing
viciously at him in a way that it never had before in his life. He
didn't regret in the least having made love to Savanna and he would
even admit that the knowledge that she had been a virgin filled him
with a powerful sense of possession and a bewildering pleasure. Of that
second taking he simply would not think, not of the brutal act itself,
nor of the reasons behind it.

What he had to concentrate on now, he finally decided, was how
to get himself out of his current dangerous predicament—a predicament
that could be laid directly at Savanna's damn feet! Despite the earlier
events of today, nothing had really changed—he was still a fugitive
from Micajah's tender mercies, it was still imperative that no one know
that he was not Jason Savage and it was just as imperative that he not
lead the chase back to his half brother either at Terre du Coeur or in
New Orleans.

Adam sighed. What the hell was he going to do? He couldn't
keep riding aimlessly through the Texas wilderness indefinitely, and
yet until he felt confident that he had truly eluded Micajah, he didn't
want to head for Natchez. And then there were the meager supplies and
decidedly wnspirited mounts! For a journey of any length, he would need
better horses and better equipment, but without any money, how the
devil was he to accomplish any change?

Coldly he admitted that he should have gotten rid of Savanna
at the first opportunity—should have left her trussed up on the ground
beside Jeremy! She was an unneeded distraction, a treacherous
disruption and a dangerous liability! Having given in to a moment of
insanity and taken her with him when he made his escape, he certainly
should have regained his senses by the time he had gotten to that
plantation, and left her there while he disappeared with both the
horses and all the provisions. But even knowing what he should have
done and what he should do now, wondering blackly if insanity ran
rampant in the family, Adam was furiously aware that for reasons which
completely escaped him, he was not going to let that flame-haired,
witch-spirited little bitch out of his sight! She was
his!
And she owed him far more than she had paid so far!

When he got back to camp, his mood was bleak and dark.
Ignoring Savanna, he retied her horse and unpacked the supplies that
she had taken with her. As he glanced at the sun hanging low in the
sky, it was, he thought sourly, too late in the day to travel any
farther—besides, he had the devil's own headache! They would rise
tomorrow before dawn and there would be no more dallying around—he had
come to a sudden decision: they would ride for San Antonio, where, as
he recalled from the one time he had met the stiffly punctilious old
Spanish grandee at Terre du Coeur, Don Felipe Santana lived. Don Felipe
was some sort of a cousin of Jason's, and while Adam hated to go
begging, he didn't see that he had any other choice. Besides, heading
for San Antonio would solve several problems—between here and there
they were sure to completely lose Micajah, and Don Felipe would, even
if reluctantly, give them food and shelter and provide Adam with new
supplies and horses to finally begin the journey home to Natchez. From
now on they would be riding hard and long, and Adam only hoped that
he'd be so exhausted at night that the memory of Savanna's softly
thrashing body beneath his wouldn't tempt him to seek oblivion in her
all-too-seductive flesh.