Easy as One Two Three (Emma Frost) (16 page)

Morten got up from his chair and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Shall we go?" he asked.

I looked at my plate. I had hardly eaten anything. I grabbed a croissant and wrapped it in my napkin and took it with me. On our way to the office in the car I checked my phone in the hope that someone could have called…in the desperate hope that Maya had somehow found a phone and tried to call me and I just hadn't heard it, even if I did sleep with it very close to me and checked it several times during the night. But there was nothing. Nothing but old photos of my beautiful daughter that I was suddenly afraid I hadn't appreciated enough while I had her.

If I ever got her back, I was never letting her go again. Not if…
when
, I told myself. When I got her back.

42

April 2014

S
IGNE
S
CHOU'S MOTHER LIVED
on the small island of Enoe right outside of Karrebaeksminde. We drove there in Rebekka's car. The car was filled with baby toys on the floor and had a blue baby seat in the back. I had forgotten how much having a baby changed everything in your life, including how you lived and the content in your car.

"Just throw that stuff in the back if it bothers you," Rebekka said as I got into the car. The front seat was packed with cracker-boxes, baby-wipes, toys and a garbage bag. I moved it to the backseat and sat down.

"So, I'm guessing it's a boy?" I said and strapped my seatbelt. I had touched something sticky and my fingers felt gross now. I grabbed a tissue from the box and wiped it clean.

"Sorry about that," Rebekka said and drove off down the road. "And yes. You're right. His name is William. Named after Sune's grandfather."

"I love how you guys manage to work together and still be a couple," I said.

Rebekka took a turn while looking like she was thinking about what I had said. "Well, it isn't always easy," she said.

"Oh. But you make it look easy."

She shrugged. "I guess we're doing okay. It's a lot of work, but I guess that's just life, right?"

I was a little startled to hear that they weren't the all-time happy couple that I had taken them for, but once I thought about it, I knew that nobody was. If my divorce had taught me anything, it was that a relationship took all your effort to make it work. There was no room for slacking off; if you for one second became too comfortable and thought everything was running smoothly while you were busy doing other things and not attending to how your relationship was doing, then
snap
, it could be over. All it took was ten seconds. Ten seconds where he came to you one afternoon while you were sitting by the computer and told you that you two needed to talk. I still remembered it as one of the most terrifying moments of my life. There I was in my own little world of contentment, not realizing that a few seconds later, my entire world would be ripped apart. The worst part was his coldness when I started pleading with him to stay. I hated that part and regretted it every second of my life. Me crying my eyes out, begging him not to leave and him just starting to pack without a word, without so much as looking in my direction.

Today, I was glad we split up and, looking back, I’d only been fooling myself. We weren't happy. I hadn't been happy at all in that marriage. But it took distance and time to realize that. It was brutal on the children, but in the end, it was best for all of us. Even if I never could forgive him, I guess I in time learned to accept it…accept the fact that he loved someone else. But I hated the fact that I still felt like I hadn't been good enough for him, that he never thought I was good enough.

"I guess you're right," I said.

"And you and Morten? You seem like a great couple," she said and drove onto the bridge leading to Enoe Island.

"We are. He's the most supportive and loving man I have ever been with. He's amazing, really. He loves my kids and I can't believe how sweet he always is. Sometimes I feel like he's from another planet. I've never met a guy quite like him," I said and looked out at the ocean underneath us. The sun had been shining all morning and it made the ocean sparkle. It was gorgeous.

"But…?" Rebekka said.

I looked at her. What did she mean by that? "Excuse me?"

"I sense there is a but in there somewhere," she said.

I shook my head. That was a strange thing to say, I thought. I didn't like it. Of course Morten and I had fights, yes, but all couples had that. It was very rare, though.

But that's not what it is, is it? You know there is a but in there. You know you have your doubts about him. You know you’ve thought about it too, but won't admit it to yourself. Because from the outside, he is perfect and you keep telling yourself that he is, but there is something missing. There is something vital missing from your relationship and you know it. Rebekka sees it. She knows.

"I don't know," I said as Rebekka drove into a driveway and stopped the car. "I guess all couples have their issues, you know?"

Rebekka nodded. "Guess so."

I felt like she saw right through me. What was this feeling all of a sudden? Was I really having doubts about Morten? I guess I was. He was sweet and perfect and all, but I wasn't exactly getting what I needed from him. The thought made me feel awful. I loved him, I really did, but where was the passion? He hadn't exactly swept me off my feet. I knew he loved me and showed me in his actions, but we were supposed to be in love, we were supposed to be all over each other and we weren't. Not just because of Maya being gone, no it had been going on long before that. The passion simply wasn't there and I needed it. I needed it badly. I shook the thought. I was just being ridiculous. Morten was perfect. End of story.

"Let's go knock on the door," Rebekka said and got out.

I followed her and looked at the big old white villa in front of us with views over the ocean. I was quite surprised that Signe Schou's mother could afford to live in a place like this. Wasn't she supposed to be poor?

43

April 2014

M
ADS WAS ANXIOUS.
They had been doing all kinds of tests on him all morning. He was trying to move his pinky again and again and he knew they saw it, but he was afraid they wouldn't realize that he did it deliberately.

All night, he had been awake inside of his darkness recalling pictures of his life, trying to stick to the happy wonderful days and not all the bad ones.

Signe had been the love of his life, but the more he thought about her and their marriage, the more he realized that he might not have been in love with her as much as he was in love with what she represented. At least not in the beginning.

They had only seen each other for a week before he had presented her to his mother. Today, he knew that it wasn't because he was so head over heels in love with her that he just needed to show her off to his family, like he had told her he was. No, he had another reason; he had a completely different agenda.

Signe was the complete opposite of his mother. She came from a poor very broken family, she dressed provocatively and she had short boyish hair. She was what his mother would call bad company, a rebel, and Mads loved that about her. She was nothing like the kind of woman his mother wanted him to marry.

So, he fell in love. He adored her despite her many tantrums and strange desires that led to very destructive behavior…behavior that would end up terminating his love for her once he realized just how dangerous she really was.

But how could he have known? How could he have foreseen what was going to happen to them? He had been blinded by his love for her and the love of the life they had together. The adventurous side to her was different. He had never encountered anything like it before. It was thrilling and exciting, until the day it went overboard. Oh, the many times he had regretted not having left her the first time. It could have been so easy for him to just leave her there in Egypt when she had started flirting with the bartender. He never understood why he didn't. But a part of him had felt intrigued. Aroused even. He wanted to see how far she was going to take it, how far she would go. And then, much to his surprise, she had gone all the way. She had walked into the restroom with that guy and let him touch her, let him…oh, how he had felt bad in those seconds after the door had closed. How brutal it had been to sit out there in the bar and picture what she was doing with him in there. That was when all sense and sensibility inside of him had been replaced with anger. Furious anger so deep he was ready to kill for it. The jealousy had felt so overpowering, there was nothing else he could do. Mads had hit the bartender so hard he had smashed his head on the porcelain sink. And it had felt so good. He had felt so good punching him. So incredible powerful…for the first time in his life.

But after that, it was too late. There was no turning back for him. He had killed a guy and the two of them were suddenly accomplices. They were freaking Bonnie and Clyde all of a sudden and Mads couldn't say he hadn't enjoyed it. A big part of him had. But he had also realized the consequences and Signe hadn't. She had kept going and, even if every sensible part of him screamed to get the hell out of this marriage, he had followed her. He had let her do those awful things and put them in very dangerous situations. Why? He didn't really have an explanation. He loved the thrill more than he loved the life that was waiting for him back home.

But that was all over now. Now he had finally come to his senses. Her magic spell had lost its touch on him after what happened in Monaco. After that, he finally realized just how crazy she was, how dangerous it was for him to be with her. But he had to admit, he had felt alive with her. Those weeks they were travelling together, he had felt more alive than ever in his life at home in the big mansion with his wealthy family.

But he had also known Signe would end up being the death of him one day. And he was right.

"I'm afraid that it is as I suspected," he heard the man he knew was his doctor say.

"There’s no brain activity?" he heard his sister ask.

A small whimper from his mother followed.

"No. What we see here, the tiny movements in the tip of his finger are nothing more than reflex muscle jerks. I'm sorry."

No! No! I'm here. People I'm here. How can this happen? How can they not know I'm alive in here? How can their instruments not detect that I do have brain activity? That I am thinking? HEEEEELP!!!

The room was suddenly filled with a loud high-pitched sound that Mads guessed was coming from the monitors in the room. Shoes moved across the room, then stopped.

"Wait a minute," the doctor suddenly said.
 

"What is it?" Thilde asked.

"I have never…This isn't possible…Nurse! Come in here!"

44

April 2014

S
IGNE
S
CHOU'S MOTHER WAS
what I would call a big woman. She was tall and had very broad shoulders. On the door, it said
Susssanne Bo
. Rebekka introduced herself and told her they had spoken on the phone. The mother nodded.

"Ah yes, the reporter. I remember. I don't have any more to say, I still don't know where Signe is," she said. "As I told you on the phone, I haven't seen her since her wedding."

"I understand that," Rebekka said. "But we have a few more questions that I would like to ask you, if that's okay?"

Susssanne Bo looked perplexed. "I really don't think there’s any need to…," she paused and looked like she had gotten a good idea. "Well okay, but what's in it for me?"

"What do you mean?" Rebekka asked.

"It's going to cost you."

"What?" Rebekka asked. She looked at me with an expression that said she thought the woman had lost it.

I found my wallet and pulled out five hundred kroner. I handed it to her. "Here you go. Now will you talk to us?"

Susssanne Bo grinned and opened the door. "Come on in. Five hundred kroner will give you half an hour. After that, I'll ask for a thousand."

"What's with your name?" I asked, as we walked inside and sat at her dining room table. I was quite startled by the views from the house. I didn't understand how she could live like this after all I had heard about Signe's background. Had the mother remarried?

"What's that dear?" she asked and sat down.

"Why do you spell your name with three ‘s’s?" I asked.

Rebekka put her phone on the table. "I'm recording the conversation," she said. "Just to let you know."

"Fine by me," the mother said. "And to answer your question, I changed my name some years ago. This name fits me better. Numerologically speaking, it's a much better combination for me. It's more compatible with my birth-number. The ‘s’ adds more ones to my life and I need that."

I stared at the woman for a little while, wondering what she had just said. I knew nothing about numerology, but had always wondered about the name changing thing. I wasn't closer to understanding it. But she looked like she had just told me the deepest insight to this world.

"I see," I said, hoping she wouldn't say more.

"Tell me about your daughter," Rebekka said.

Susssanne Bo chuckled. "What's there to tell? She’s a troublemaker; she married a rich man and now I don't have to take care of her anymore or worry if she gets herself into more trouble. She's someone else's problem now."

"You say she’s a troublemaker, how's that?" Rebekka asked.

"As a child, she would always get herself into trouble. You know, fights, stealing from stores, being expelled from school. Stuff like that. She was born like that. Born to be wild. Her father's child."

"And her father is in prison now?" I asked and spotted crystals on the dresser behind her.

"Yes. And they can keep him there for all I care."

I detected a deep anger when she talked about him. I wondered if her profound hurt from what happened with him had made her resent Signe. Maybe that was why she was so busy getting her married well.