Easy Silence (21 page)

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him what I was plotting in my head. He never allowed me to pay for anything, and I’m sure this would be no different, but it was worth a try.

“Well, I’ve got lots of money saved up. I would love—”

“No…no way, Samantha.”

I took a deep breath and began to doodle in the sand with my finger. “Jaxson, what if I decided to go to school around here and stayed?”

He turned his head, looking totally surprised. “Samantha, that’s not what you had planned.”

“I know it’s not what I had planned. It’s what I want. I want to stay here with you. We can get a place together…you and me.”

He stared at me silently. “But what about your acting? That’s your dream…you have a chance to audition—”

“No, Jaxson that
was
my dream before I met you. Do you know why I was so into acting?” He shook his head. “Because my whole life, I always wanted to be someone else. It didn’t matter who…just someone else, and acting allowed that to happen for me. For the first time in my life, I want to be me. I want to be with you forever, Jaxson, and I hope you feel the same way about me.”

“I do.” He leaned in closer and kissed me on the lips. “You mean everything to me, Samantha, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I don’t feel alone anymore. I don’t dread waking up every morning because I know I have you to look forward to each day. You’re the last thing on my mind when I go to bed the and first thing when I wake up. It just still doesn’t seem real to me that someone like me could be lucky enough to have someone like you.”

“It’s very real. You’re the one who said people need to start living their lives instead of always waiting and planning things out. Well, I don’t want to wait to be with you until after I graduate college. I want to be with you now. So, let’s do this; let’s grow old together.”

He stared straight ahead as I waited in agony for some type of response. “What about your parents?”

“What about them?”

“Well, you know, they’re not going to be too happy about your decision.”

“I don’t really care. I’m happy with it, and that’s all that matters. I don’t care if they’re pissed or if they say we’re too young because I know we’ll prove them wrong.”

“Are you sure this is—”

“I have never been more certain about anything in my life.”

He nodded. “Okay. Then let’s do it.”

My smile turned to laughter. I had never been happier in my life. “There’s just one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“We have to come to some terms about our differences in TV. I hate those boring documentaries that you watch all the time. So, let’s have a little wager.”

“Okay, what’s that?”

“First one to make it out to that jetty gets control of the television.”

“Sounds fair.”

I stood up and waited for him to do the same. “Well, aren’t you coming?”

“I’m giving you a head start.”

“Oh, so then you can say I didn’t win fairly.”

“No, I won’t because you’re not gonna win.” He raised his eyebrow, seeming so certain of himself.

“Don’t be so sure of that!” I ran into the water, swimming at fast as I could, and before I knew it, his arms were wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him. “Hey, look who’s cheating now?” I teased. I looped my arms around his neck as the waves gently rolled over our shoulders. The ocean seemed so placid today, so much like mine and Jaxson’s life at the moment. For the first time since I had known him, Jaxson seemed genuinely happy, and so was I. I couldn’t wait to start our life together. It was such a far cry from where I thought I would be when I had first arrived at my grandmother’s, but it was exactly where I wanted to be, wrapped in this beautiful man’s arms, kissing the salt water off his lips as if no one else were around us. I pressed my forehead into his and began to sing a song that I had always loved from Sunday school as a little girl, changing the words up ever so slightly.
“Jaxson loves me, this I know because my heart tells me so.”

He shook his head and grinned, moving his lips to my ear. “Forever,” he whispered.

“Forever,” I whispered back, hanging on to his neck and wrapping my legs around his waist, wanting to remain as happy as I was in that moment for the rest of my life.

* * *

I didn’t want to leave the beach; it had been the best day ever, but Jaxson had to be at the restaurant for work by five. I drove him back to Pete’s, feeling like our relationship had progressed so much in just the past few hours. It was so real now; we were taking it to the next level, and there wasn’t any doubt in my mind that we would make it work. Jaxson leaned over and kissed me on the cheek when I pulled into Pete’s driveway.

“See ya, Samantha.” My smiled turned into a slight giggle that he picked up on right away.

“What's so funny?” he asked.

“Just a little observation I've made.” He raised his eyebrow, waiting for me to elaborate. “How come you always say ‘see ya’ and never ‘goodbye’?”

I don't know, because ‘see ya’ means I plan on seeing you again. ‘Goodbye’ is just goodbye…like have a nice life.”

"Well, as long as you never say goodbye to me then we're good." He shook his head and kissed me deeper on the lips. “Will I see you later?” I asked. He nodded, moving his lips down to my neck as my insides awakened. “Jaxson, you better get out of this car right now before I kidnap you and never let you go.”

“Ah, lover boy! Don’t you have to be at work in a half hour?” Pete shouted as he came walking up the driveway. Jaxson gave me one last kiss and a ‘see ya’ before getting out of the car and heading inside, while Pete remained, standing by my side of the car.

“You look like you got a little sun, today.” He smiled at me.

“Oh, it was the perfect beach day. The sun was warm the water was calm…everything about it was great!”

“That sounds like fun.”

“It really was.”

“When are you headed back home?” he asked.

I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I didn’t know if Jaxson wanted to wait to tell him he was planning on moving out or if I should tell him. I decided I would tell him, hoping that Jaxson didn’t get upset with me for doing so. “Umm…I’m not.” He raised his eyebrow. “Jaxson and I had a long talk, and we’re gonna get a place of our own together.” He stared straight ahead looking a little surprised. “You can say what you’re thinking because I know that’s gonna be the normal reaction. We’re too young. It will never last. But I know in my heart it will.”

“No, that’s not what I was thinking. It’s just…does your father know about this?”

“Nope, he doesn’t, and I really don’t care what he has to say. I’m almost nineteen years old. I’m an adult, so he can’t tell me how to live.” I found my voice rising in defense just thinking about my father and what his reaction to this was going to be.

Pete let out a deep sigh. “Sam, I just hope that you thought this through. I care about Jax like he’s my own son, but I also know he has a whole other side to him.”

“I have thought it through. I’ve seen that other side of Jaxson, and I want them both. I love him, and he loves me. I thought you of all people would be happy for us, Pete.”

“I- I am…I just—” He looked away and shook his head. “I really do wish the both of you nothing but the best.” He forced a smile.

“You’ll see Pete. Ten years and three kids from now, and I’ll be telling you ‘I told you so'. Jaxson wants this as badly as I do.”

"There's no doubt in my mind that he wants this and that he loves you, Sam, but sometimes even the strongest feelings in our hearts can’t silence the demons in our head."

“It’s gonna be fine. You’ll see Pete!”

He nodded, forming a more genuine smile this time. “I hope you prove me wrong.”

“Oh, I will! Just wait!” I let out a laugh, trying to mask my apprehension over his little lecture. I knew that Pete had known Jaxson for way longer than I did, but he didn't know what we shared together and how special our connection was. No one would ever be able to understand that, but as long as Jaxson and I did, that was all that mattered.

* * *

My sleepy eyes opened ever so slightly to find Jaxson fast asleep beside me, having snuck in after work. I was too tired to lift my head and look at the time, but judging from the darkness outside, I was guessing it was somewhere in the middle of the night. I moved closer and nuzzled into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Soon, we would be spending every night this way. No more sneaking in and out of windows to be together. We would finally be free to live our lives the way we wanted. I lifted my head when I felt him begin to jerk around.

“No, no, please don’t. Please, just don’t.” he cried out while his whole body began to tremble. I sat up, trying to gently wake him.

“Jaxson,” I whispered softly. He opened his eyes and covered his face, cowering down as if I were going to hit him. “Jaxson, it’s me, Samantha. It’s okay it’s just a dream.” He removed his hands and looked up at me. I could see the tears that stained his face in the moon light coming through my blinds, and my heart felt like it was tearing into a million little pieces. I lay down beside him once again and pulled him close as he continued to shiver. “It’s okay,” I whispered as I rubbed his back in a circular motion. “Are you cold?” I asked. He nodded, and I got up to get the extra blanket from the closet, covering him with it. I sat down on his side of the bed, and he pulled me down, hugging me tightly as his trembling subsided. My hand swept across his face and he felt like he was on fire. “Jaxson, you’re burning up.”

“I’m fine,” his voice wavered.

“Let me go get you some Tylenol.” I lifted my head.

“No!” he demanded. “Please just stay here with me.” His tone was much gentler.

“Okay, I’m not going anywhere.” I reassured him, resting my head back on his chest as his heart beat a mile a minute. I stretched my neck and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m not going anywhere ever, Jaxson. I promise you.”

The heat from his chest radiated from him as his heart began to slow down to a normal rhythm. His breathing became less labored, and when I looked up at him he was fast asleep again. I lay there wide awake with a million thoughts going through my mind. Pete was right about what he had said earlier. Jaxson was still dealing with the nightmares of his past. As much as I wanted to believe that he had set that part free, he hadn’t. It would always be part of who he was, but I would always be there to awaken him, allowing him to see just how beautiful life could really be.

I rubbed my tired eyes, squinting at the bright morning sun peeking into my bedroom. "Where are you going?" I asked as I watched Jaxson pulling up his jeans.

"Oh, I told Pete I would try and come in early for him today."

I sat up. "Are you feeling better?" I asked.

He creased his eyebrows at me. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

Did he not remember anything about last night? "It's just…you were burning up with a fever." I figured I would leave out the nightmare part; it was just as well if he had forgotten about it.

He shrugged. “Maybe it was just from too much sun yesterday.”

“Maybe.” I went along with it, wishing that's all it was.

“So, I guess you don't have any extra time for…” I bit my lip and smiled.

He looked down at his watch and then back at me.

“Ah fuck it. Pete can wait.”

I giggled and pulled him down on the bed, wasting no time undressing him and giving into what both of our bodies were yearning for.

* * *

“I seriously have to go,” Jaxson said, as we lay in each other’s arms still coming down from the high we had put each other in.

I planted tiny kisses on his chest, noticing the scar that ran along his shoulder. My heart ached just wondering where that one came from.

“I want to have your babies.”

“What?” he let out a nervous laugh.

I stretched my neck and looked up at him. “Maybe not now, but someday I want to be the mother of your children.” He stared straight up at the ceiling as I continued to speak. “Two, maybe three. And promise me, you’ll still love me when I grow a big fat belly.”

He swallowed hard, remaining unresponsive, just as a knock on my door startled me, causing us both to sit up.

“Yeah?” I shouted.

“Sam, your mother and father just pulled up,” Hadley shouted back through the closed door.

“Shit,” I whispered, searching frantically for my clothes. “What the hell, they weren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow.” I pulled my shirt over my head and threw on my underwear as Jaxson sat there, staring at me, seeming amused by the whole situation. “Jaxson, get dressed!” I found his shirt and placed it over his head.

He threw me back down on the bed and began to kiss my neck. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Jaxson!” I slid out from underneath him and stood up, picking up his pants from the floor in a panic.