Easy Silence (17 page)

He sat down next to me and took my hand, just as Hadley came out with a damp wash cloth and gently dabbed my face. I could see the anger growing in Jaxson’s eyes once again as he looked down at my cheek. I squeezed his hand to let him know I was okay. “Let me get you some ice,” Hadley said, running off to the kitchen.

“Jaxson, listen to me. I’m okay. Please, just let this go.” He stared straight ahead in a trance-like state. I took his face in my hands and moved his head, forcing him to look at me. “You let this go, Jaxson. Please. For me?” He didn’t confirm one way or another, but his stone cold expression melted right before my eyes and reassured me ever so slightly. “I’m really okay,” I whispered, kissing him softly on the lips.

“Sam.” I jumped and quickly removed my lips from Jaxson’s at the sound of Henry’s voice. “When you’re feeling up to it, I need you to come into the station and give a statement,” he said as he walked further into the living room, approaching me cautiously.

“Oh, I’m not reporting it.”

His eyes widened. “Sam, don’t be ridiculous! You have to! If you’re worried about Jaxson getting into trouble for doing what he did…don’t. He was defending you.”

“No, that’s not it. I just don’t want to.” I didn’t want to rehash it all over again. I didn’t want to be dragged into court, and most of all, I didn’t want my dad finding out. He would somehow turn this into my fault and lecture me about how stuff like that inadvertently affects his career.

“Sam, they physically assaulted you, and if Jaxson hadn’t shown up they would have sexually assaulted you, too.”

“Yes, I know, Henry, you don’t have to remind—” I choked up, trying to catch my breath and keep it together. My emotions were all over the place, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get them in check. I buried my head in Jaxson’s shoulder, just wishing everyone would go away.

“Henry, she needs to lie down. This is a lot for her to take in,” Hadley said in a soft soothing voice. “Jaxson, why don’t you take her and get her settled in her bedroom. I think she needs her privacy right now.” I wanted to lift my head and thank Hadley for saying the words that I was unable to say, but I was emotionally spent.

Jaxson stood up and took my hand, helping me from the couch. He led me into my bedroom, and I lay down on my bed immediately cocooning myself in my blanket as he sat down next to me. “Will you lie down with me?” I asked. He nodded, and I lifted the blanket allowing him underneath. I closed my eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of his shower gel, feeling as if nothing could ever hurt me as long as he was near, and with that thought, it wasn’t very long until I found myself falling fast asleep.

I rolled over and reached for Jaxson, but he was gone. I wondered where he went and if he was coming back as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Desperately feeling like I needed a shower, I headed into the bathroom. As I stepped into the bathtub, I allowed the warm water to flow over my body, hoping to wash away the memories of the day, but to no avail. They were stronger than ever. I leaned against the shower wall and broke down once again, remembering everything so clearly. The fear that was coursing through my veins at the prospect of having my worst nightmare come true and the pure rage in Jaxson’s eyes were both terrifying in their own right. I was so thankful to him for doing what he did for me, but at the same time I was scared. He had an animalistic look in his eyes, one that was deep and dark. Part of me wondered if he hadn’t snapped out of it when he did if he would have taken that knife and slid it across that guy’s throat. Something was awakened in him this morning when he ran into his mother, and that same something was agitated even more this afternoon. I pulled it together and stood back under the stream of water, rinsing myself off before finishing up and jumping out. I ran the comb through my wet hair, pulled it back into a ponytail, and threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top.

“Hey,” I said to Hadley, not even recognizing my own voice which sounded hoarse and strained.

“Hi, sweetheart. Are you hungry?” I looked up at the clock, noticing that it was after six, but I didn’t feel hungry at all. I shook my head, but Hadley didn’t pay me any mind, and took a plate from the fridge and heated it up in the microwave.

“Sit down and try to eat this,” she said, placing the plate of spaghetti in front of me. After taking two bites, I pushed it away. “Sam, honey. You have to try to eat something.” Hadley coaxed.

“Where did Jaxson go?” I asked, totally dismissing her plea.

“I don’t know. He left a few hours ago. He just told me you were sleeping and left.” I placed my elbow on the table and rested my head in my hand, letting out a deep sigh, remembering our failed plans for tonight.

“I was wrong about him, Sam. He really does care for you. After today, he’s really proven it.” She reached over the table and gently rubbed my hand.

"Hadley, did you know anything about him when he was a child?" The look of despair that washed over her face said it all. "He told me a little, and…he didn't deserve that, Hadley." My emotions began to spin out of control once again. The tears were falling faster than I could catch them. Hadley got up and grabbed a napkin and took a seat next to me, wrapping her arms around me.

"Shhh…" she soothed, rubbing her hand up and down my arm.

"I know he's got love in his heart deep down inside, and I know that he wants it to come out, but he's scared. I just want to make all of his hurt go away. I want him to see that he deserves to be happy."

"I know you do, Sam, but sometimes the damage is so deep that it's beyond repair."

"Why didn't anyone help him? He was just an innocent little boy who had no one on his side. Not even his own mother. How could everyone in this town just turn a blind eye to that and let it continue to happen?"

"People did try, Sam, but the judge always ruled in favor of his mamma. She always promised that she was going to get clean and start leading a normal life, and then a few months later she would be back to her old ways."

"And now he's paying the price for the rest of his life, battling with the demons in his head."

She closed her eyes as if my words pained her. “Are you feeling a little better after everything that happened today?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” I looked down at my plate and moved my spaghetti around, jumping at the sound of knocking on the front door. “Hadley, if that's for me, I'm really not in the mood to talk with anyone." I wanted to make that clear, just in case Henry had decided to send over someone to try and get me to talk.

She nodded and got up to answer, while I buried my face into my hands, facing another bout of tears. I needed to pull it together and toughen up. I was safe now, but I knew my worry extended far beyond my concern for myself; I was worried for Jaxson.

“Now, I know you said you didn't want any visitors, but I figured you would make an exception for him,” Hadley said, walking back into the kitchen. I removed my hands from my face, and the sorrowful tears were now replaced with ones of joy when I saw Jaxson standing in front of me with bubble gum ice cream in one hand and a DVD of
To Kill A Mockingbird
in his other hand. He had changed his clothes, and judging from the lack of stubble that was on his face from earlier, he had freshly shaved. Hadley smiled and walked out of the kitchen, giving us our privacy.

“You remembered our date?” I wiped away the tears and replaced them with a smile. He nodded, giving me his best smile that I had grown so accustomed to now. I stood up and threw my arms around him. “That first day I met you, I would have never pegged you for being such a great guy.”

“I’m not.”

Part of me wasn’t sure if he was joking or if he was being serious. “Well, I think you are.”

I grabbed two spoons from the drawer and took his hand, leading him into my bedroom.

“Get comfy,” I said as I propped up the pillows on the bed. After popping the movie into the DVD player, I sat down next to him and lifted a spoonful of ice cream to his lips.

“Uh…that’s okay. I got that for you.”

“I don’t mind sharing my ice cream with you,” I giggled. He slowly opened his mouth and swallowed a spoonful down. I nuzzled into his chest as the movie began to play. His hands moving up and down my back as we watched the movie put me at ease. I was feeling totally relaxed by the time the closing credits were rolling down the screen. “You’re my Boo Radley,” I whispered in his ear. His smile grew ever so slightly. I stretched my neck and grazed his lips; they felt so warm and welcoming. I could tell he wanted to kiss me back but was hesitant after everything that had happened earlier. “Kiss me, Jaxson.” He looked down at me, swallowing hard and seeming a little unsure. “I want you to wash away the memories of today.”

He took out my ponytail holder and fluffed out my hair, gently rubbing his hand over my swollen cheek with his lips cautiously finding mine. His tongue carefully found its way into my mouth while he ran his fingers through my hair. His kiss said a million words. My mind, body, and soul were reveling in the pure raw emotions that his full pouty lips on mine brought to me. Just knowing he was here for me now, the same way he had been for me earlier, was the most satisfying feeling in the world. We slid down on the bed, our mouths never parting from each other’s. He pulled me closer, moving his lips to my forehead. “I can’t stand looking at your face all swollen like that. It just makes me so angry, Samantha.”

“It’s okay, Jaxson. I told you, I am totally fine.”

“No, it’s not okay. They had no right to put their hands on you like that.” I could hear his voice rising in anger just thinking about it.

“Please, can we just forget about it?”

“Samantha, my whole life I watched my mother get smacked around by men. She acted like it was just normal, but I knew it wasn’t. I saw the pain she would be in. I saw the bruises on her body and the marks on her face. They had no problem back-handing her in front of me. It’s the worst feeling in the world when you’re a kid to watch your mother getting the shit beat out of her right in front of you and knowing that you’re powerless to stop it. When I got a little older, I just stopped caring. If she didn’t care enough about herself to stop it, then why should I? Not to mention, the amount of times she would allow them to use me as a punching bag for their frustrations and never said a word. I became numb to it all, and after a while, I started to think that maybe she deserved it.” He moved my hair from my face and tenderly rubbed his thumb across my cheek. “But you—you didn’t deserve this. When I saw them today, something snapped. I don’t know, Samantha…I just—”

“You rescued me from my worst nightmare is what you did, and I cannot thank you enough.”

I climbed on top of him and lifted my shirt over my head, reached behind my back, and unhooked my bra.

“Samantha, are you sure?”

“I told you I wanted you to take away the memory of today, and I meant it.” My hair draped over his face as I leaned down to kiss him. “Make love to me, Jaxson.” He rolled me over on my back and kissed my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I arched my back and ran my fingers through his hair when his lips skimmed my nipple before he took my entire nipple into his mouth, repeating the process with my other one. My insides were screaming with pleasure when he reached down with his free hand and removed my shorts and panties. I let out a deep breath when I felt his finger find its way inside of me. He looked down at me with the same pouty look that he always had, the same one that I found so incredibly sexy. I unbuttoned his jeans and reached around him to pull them down. He removed his finger from inside of me and stood up to step out of them. I took him by surprise when I sat up and pulled down his boxers, dropped to my knees, and took him inside my mouth. He let out a pleasurable gasp as my lips began to slide up and down his erection. “Oh fuck, Samantha,” he whispered, gathering my hair from my face as I continued to tease him with my mouth. He pulled me off him when he was just about there and hurriedly reached into his wallet and put on the condom in record time. He sat down on the bed and pulled me on top of him, finding his way inside of me. He lay down, and I sat up moving in a slow steady rhythm, feeling in complete control over both our bodies as he closed his eyes and began breathing heavily, letting out a pleasurable groan every now and then. I loved knowing that I was able to make him feel this way. My body was providing him with everything he needed at the moment. He opened his eyes and placed his hands on my lower back, guiding my movements as he stared up at me in a daze. “Are you ready, Jaxson?” I asked. He swallowed hard and nodded. I began to move faster, rocking back and forth with each movement. He sat up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. “Oh my god, Samantha, you make me feel so fuckin’ good.” His teeth grazed my neck, just before burying his face into my shoulder to stifle his excitement. I stilled myself feeling my own body begin to erupt with his. “I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered in my ear as we hugged each other tightly. My stomach tingled. It had been such an emotional day, and to end it this way where all my emotions were able to come to surface just seemed so fitting.

“You don’t ever have to because I’ll always be here for you as long as you want me to be,” I whispered back. He squeezed me tighter, and I felt all of those ugly flashbacks from earlier fade away for both of us as we created new memories of the day. Beautiful memories of the perfect love we had just made, memories that no one could ever take away, and memories that I would remember for the rest of my life.